What would happen if a Guardsman found his female Commissar in a state of undress?

>Begin to leave
>Commissar McTits levels a compact las-pistol at me
>Wonder where she pulled it from if she was naked
>Orders me to undress and get on my hands and knees
>Do as I'm told because I'm keen on living
>She walks over to her cabinet, the one marked with "confidential" in large print letters
>Opens it, inside is a large array of toys of a phallic nature
>Selects a rather large one and begins strapping it on

>Feeling incredibly nervous at this point
>She spits on her hands and preps for precision drilling
>Commissar McTits has amazing stamina, manages to keep going for an hour and a half
>Eventually finishes up and helps me dress since I'm too sore to do it myself
>Calls out to me as I'm leaving her quarters

"I expect you same time tomorrow, Guardswoman!

The only correct response. No one wants to fuck with the commissar.

Depends, is this a romcom, an action film, a black comedy, a porno, or a war drama?

>Romcom
Shenanigans. The guardsman attempts to state his business quote struggling to avoid sexual innuendo and prolonged staring.

>Action film
It's a one-off break from the action. Guardsman quickly closes the door. They'll probably have sex before the climax.

>Black Comedy
The commissar shoots him. Quip about how she had to bathe anyway.

>Porno
Short conversation. Then sex for an hour.

>War drama
Any of all of the above.

>No one wants to fuck with the commissar.
...I didn't say that.

That's pretty much what you said though?

>Any or all of the above
Fixed

Penalized heavily with absolutely no sex action taking place. They've become a Commissar for reasons that don't include "she sucked like 40,000 cocks".

No one wants to fuck* with the commissar.

*Unless commissar is sexy

Plenty want to fuck with the commissar. They above the sexiest hats after all They just know better than to try.

>above
I know I typed "have". I know I did. Autocorrect must be fucking with me as it becomes Skynet.

We all see you writing in those loopholes, Amberly

Dubs for Commissar McTits!

>4444

fpbp

> same time tomorrow
Using guard for own purposes that are not aligning with big E wants, that's a BLAMMING

Are you KIDDING?!
Procreating among Imperial forces means that they're less likely to do so with filthy xenos or Chaos witches further down the line.

Someone needs a blamming, it ain't me.

Fuck off Slaanesh

depends on how well-liked the commissar is
>well-liked: quickly cover eyes, apologize profusely then promptly back out
>neutral: get the fuck out and pray to the god-emperor for a lenient sentence
>disliked: overpower then [REGIMENT WAS DECIMATED FOR THIS ACT]

How else do you make smaller Guardsfolk, heretic?

>BLAM

Sex isn't even in Slaanesh's domain. Excess, addiction and mania is. Sex is just a common thing to take to excess while simultaneously bursting your eardrums with spacefuture metal while snorting spacefuture drugs.

If anything it's mostly just a discipline issue. Fucking one of the guard under your command weakens your appearance as a firm hand and proxy of the Emperor and his Imperium. Plus you might get distracted in the battlefield.

But that's forbidden love!

I have no idea what heresy is going on in guard but it's not supported by codex

I honestly hope he shoots her where she stands. The military needs women like a kindergarten needs shards of glass.

Execution for NOT KNOCKING.

Also Raege is hot.

11/10, would love to be executed by her.

Well it's probably the best moment in his life and beeing shot in the head by a trained commisar sounds a lot less painfull then the death at the front.

Are Sisters of Battle required to be chaste or can they have children?

What's the most likely result if an Imperial Guard falls for a Sister of Battle and confesses his feelings (in a respectful way)?

Does her rank matter in terms of how acceptable it would be?

Can Love Bloom?

That is not what happens, however.

Is a more likely scenario.

Better question, what if Sister of Battle falls for Battle-brother?

Sisters of Battle, I believe so. But there are plenty of Orders which aren't directly military as well as administrative roles. It's possible that an approved pairing could happen with the mother transferred permanently of temporarily to another role "So you and this Stormtrooper wish to have a child? Well.. you DO both have very good genetics, transfer approved". Of course then she couldn't be actively incinerating does of the Emperor, which is a big downside for many Sisters.

As always though, it's a big galaxy. Plenty can happen in it, and most things do end up happening somewhere in it.

Do you think if an IG fell for a high ranking SoB and she wasn't interested, she'd be nice about it?

>Are Sisters of Battle required to be chaste or can they have children?
Depends on the order, but on a whole no
They generally don't marry though, being an SoB is a full time job

>What's the most likely result if an Imperial Guard falls for a Sister of Battle and confesses his feelings (in a respectful way)?
Probably getting shot down, possibly earning him a devout GF

>Does her rank matter in terms of how acceptable it would be?
No

>Sisters of Battle, I believe so.
No, there's a few in the novels, particularly Ciaphas Cain ones, that are married

Depends on the sister

I'unno. Depends on the people then doesn't it?
She'd be under little obligation to be nice about it, but also little reason to be a bitch about it.

Odds are she'd just say she's dedicated her life to one Man and he is the greatest of all, quite some long dead saint and continue doing what she was doing before.

>being an SoB is a full time job
More like they are married to the job.

>No, there's a few in the novels, particularly Ciaphas Cain ones, that are married
True, what I was basically getting at was that a Sister on duty doing purging and whatnot couldn't have kids while purging but would have to have some maternity leave for obvious reasons before returning.
So a Sister of Battle couldn't have children, as they'd transfer to a non-combat role while that was happening. Unless they're still referred to as Sisters of Battle while filling out requisition orders and giving lectures on xeno anatomical weaknesses.

Oh, nevermind then, thought you were saying they don't get married
Though yeah, getting pregnant while on duty would be considered irresponsible at best

Daughters of the Emperor, not wives

> discipline issue
So it's ok if the Commisar is on top?

underrated reference

>They're called tits, guardsman, half the human race has them. And if you don't leave right now they'll be the last time you ever get to see a pair.

...

You already have Marines for your all male wank fantasy.
The guard can be inclusive.

You're pretty okay user

wh40kart.im/_images/f798933de2a70bec0915c513f14f7240.jpg

Checks out. Female Commissars are almost always assigned to all female regiments.

Yeah, that's one pretty terrifying in-law....

This is answered by Inquisitor Amberley Vail in the Cain archives book 'Cain's last stand'

Adeptus sororitas are allowed to have sex, but it is frowned on and would stop their career in it's tracks.
Sisters of battle are not able to as their training regimen and oaths prevent either the time or willingness.

They aren't allowed to raise their own children as they would go straight to the schola.

If a sister of battle got pregnant she would probably be made a sister repentia for breaking her oath of total servitude to the church

underrated

shit, that twist tho

>[REGIMENT WAS DECIMATED FOR THIS ACT]
moar pls

Hey, it ain't called Warhammer 40k for nothing.

Maybe the big E is into kinky shit.

he would have tried everything at least once

Dubs again, what the fuck?

Presumably I professionally salute, and she professionally says at ease and neither of us think about having sex in a war zone, I brief her on the situation that has brought me to her private quarters, bow, and leave having done my duty to the Imperium.

If the situation is accidental post combat and the Commissar is culturally prone to physical modesty, salute quickly, bow apologetically, ease out of the room and return to your duties. If not, the wisest course of action is to act like they are culturally prone to modesty, since this will save you the grief of guessing wrong and performing some action the commissar might find disagreeable.

In combat the situation is likely a result of circumstances that are of far greater concern to myself and the Commissar than her state of dress, so I prioritize as should she for the good of the Imperium and the glory of the God Emperor.

This pretty much, unless you were on good terms beforehand...and you were invited. Then you might live long enough to say you got to fuck a commissar.

Dawww, a psyker's wingman trying to set his buddy up could be a fun story.

Nothing, you think mixed regiments don't see each other naked all the time? You think she's not a sexless muscular monstrosity covered with scars? Female soldiers do not look like pin-up models friendo

Sounds legit.

Aren't the guard encouraged to have sexual relationships though? At least for purely procreation purposes, because more kids among the camp followers means more future soldiers.

Isn't this canon?

Nothing much. It's war. There's plenty of reasonable situations that could happen in.

>salute
>blush
SARGENT user REPORTING FOR EXTRA DUTIES MA'AM!!!

Kids are useless in war and drain resources.

Watch the first Starship Troopers, it's one of the biggest inspirations for the Guard.
And the answer it gives is: they probably woudln't care. Guardsman salute, says he's sorry for not knocking and go wait ouside.

...you know is talking about two girls right?

Respectfully i disagree with your assertion that the guard are based on that movie. I'm fairly certain that the Guard were around before that movie came out. And you can't tell me they were based on the book, since the troopers in the book are a lot closer to space marines than they are the guard.

>Cain's last stand

Not canon. Cadia exploded and the planets nearby the Eye got consumed by Chaos.

The novel does not mention this.

CCCCOMBOBRAKER!

Can love bloom on the battlefield?

> Im talking 3 sea shells of goodness
But do you know how to use them in the first place?

Did he break into her room without being invited?From summery execution to traditional punishment of the regiment.
Invited to the room? Salute and get his orders.
On the field? Provide his coat or suitable piece of clothing for his commissar to regain semblance of uniform and continue be example for the rest. If the commissar have lost her uniform due to enemy attack from say flamethrower or explosion immediate treatment from the guardsman medkit is to be applied and a call for the regiment medics is to be made. After that return fire with twice the zeal and righteous anger.

Literally nobody gives a fuck about that garbage fluff

how do you know

Because OPs pic is supposed be raege, and that doesn't exactly leave many options.

If you can't abuse your position, what's the point in being a Commissar? Might elaborate on their shenanigans in future, unless another writefag wants to take it up. Other stuff keeps me fairly busy.

He'd find his brains quickly splattered across the tent behind him.

Honestly, I imagine he'd be scolded and severely reprimanded for not knocking, before being sent to the front line to die like a good little son of the emperor.

Vail don't say shit about any of that user. After cain
finds the administratum guy banging the AS instructor
her foot note says the shit happens all the time and cain believing the sisterhood is celibate is a commonly held misconception in the imperium. Something borne out when cain talks about to said sister later in the book. And when the commisar cadet and the initiate are making goo goo eyes at each other before the evacuation of the schola noth cain and the sister pretend not to notice and let the kids go fuck off because they both know they're most likely to die a bloody death in service to the E shortly anyway.
GodDamn don't make me get the book out.

he'd get stabbed in the back by celestine and she'd whisper " the emperor protects "

How can S3 celestine stab Abaddon through his armor without divine help? Does it mean regular guardsman can kill Abaddon?

>Implying The Emperor is against pegging with horse strap-ons
I don't think you've read anything from Black Library.

*tips fedora*

he'd leave the room.

Thank you user.