MtG Flavor, Lore and Fiction

Anyone who likes the Jacetice League needs to be hauled into the street and laughed at until a car hits them. Its the fucking cancer killing MTG.

no, gideon is going to be a human crash harness.

WE'RE NOT AIMING FOR THE TRUCK
youtu.be/QX1SojKfgNI

Piercing and then releasing his load.

Even if she was half of the channel fireball that ended the eldrazi story, I wouldn't consider she was a focus character of the Zendikar story. All she did was run away from school to save her friends. (And at the time I thought none of them really were her friends)

Kaladesh has been her first true chance to shine. And she's being written like she was half her age.

Now, that said, I feel like the latest stories have been very shallow.

>And she's being written like she was half her age.

I think is my biggest problem with Chandra in these most recent stories. I mean, if Chandra was like 14 or 15, sure, but she's in her damn 20s and her inner thoughts are written like it's a teen girl stream of consciousness diary.

>also i'm not maro
>also i'm not a jacefag
>also i think saying "jacetice league" is disrespecful

Cry more, bluepill.

virgin women don't mentally develop past 14, since they know they don't have to. She needs a good hard can't-walk-after fuck if you ever want her to not be a brainless cunt, and even then it'll take God's will and luck for her to not just be a brainless slut instead

She was a pretty big focus character from the moment she arrived.

This story feels really similar to Star Wars

You sound like you have some unresolved issues with women.

He's the best part of the story, again

He keeps on doing it

I really hope he gets a spot in the evil gatewatch

I hope he doesn't. Otherwise they'll have to negate his ability to see the flaws in things, including plans, so the Gatewatch can spoil the GateIgnorers' plans so they can run off again while saying "We'll get you next time Jacetice League!"

He's probably going to end up being the one to fix Tezzeret's fucking mess in Kaladesh and won't appear again

Meant to reply to

>Shadowblayde

What did they mean by this? Are they trying to tank the story on purpose? Is it a JoJo reference?

Tl;Dr?
Anyone from the gatewatch die yet?
Or did they just win the day again?

I've played magic since revised, and have not once tried to get into the lore. Is there any good stuff? I heard something about Weatherlight being ok.

Shadowblayde is the edgy codename of a pseudo-joke character.

Her real name is Vatti and she's a spoiled adolescent prodigy that's great and making tiny mechanical replicas of living creatures. The joke is that she loves pretending that she's a super edgy special agent called Shadowblayde and causes all of the other characters to facepalm.

>magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/release-2016-10-05

Yeah, this is the quality of writing in MtG now.

I think the comments in this thread should tell you all you need to know about the overall quality of the lore

She's kinda a joke character making fun of the kind of people who would call themselves "Shadowblayde" unironically. She's a teenaged Elf who almost gets herself killed by being stupid.

I'm an old Chandra-fag. What Kaladesh did to her character is one of the most painful things modern mtg has done to me. But it's ok, because the lore is dead to me now. The lore is dead, and it's ok. I can move on with my life now.

...

No, Baan did his Karnak thing and flawlessly fucked up their plan, now they have to go and directly fuck Tezzeret up.

Can someone tldr this for me?

>Previously on the tale of jace the pirate: skysovereign suffered death by whale
>heart of kiran crew is literally everyone else. gotta go get tezzeret.
>we in vented a missile that'll make the plana bridge not work anymore forever
>but the consul has a cannon that can totally shoot it even though it's super fast
>liliana votes for killing people
>gideon votes for pia, nissa and ajani fucking up the cannon
>liliana votes for killing tezzeret
>gideon begrudgingly agrees
>pia and co make a pitstop to get a box
>nissa is really strong for no reason. GET IT? SHE'S A GREEN MAGE
>at the cannon, shadowblayde almost dies, but actually she doesn't it's fine
>pia releases the gremlins
>meanwhile, heart if kiran goes thump
>chandra checks on what it was
>it was dovin baan the whole time. he ruined your stupid missile. now he's leaving. sucks for you
>chandra votes for roleplaying as the new missile
>gideon votes for cramming himself into the same confined space as chandra because he wants to give everyone a big hug

you sound like you have some unresolved issues with men if you think he was worth replying to get raped again, faggot no reason to turn this into a shitposting session

Wait, how did Jace destroy the evil ship?

Kari Zev, the 15 year old girl pirate captain, dropped a bunch of Aether on it and that attracted a sky whale which plowed into it.

>15 year old girl pirate captain

i'm not trying to defend the writing, but I at least got the impression that her former ship was the head of her fleet, which skysovereing destroyed and she and her current ship were the only survivors, after which she claimed leadership based on her standing on the former capital ship's crew. maybe I'm reaching and that still doesn't explain why a pirate crew just nodded along with a 15 year old in love with a monkey, but it's better than a 15 year old commanding an entire pirate fleet

I just hope they just kill some member of the gatewatch.

>teenaged Elf
so, what, 100 years old or like actual 13~19?

I don't think so. She doesn't talk about the loss of her captain or anything like that, but she does talk about her fleet this, her fleet that.

>They moved in twos and threes, and like the enforcers, Kari could only watch, utterly transfixed, because she knew each one of them. Brass Hammer and The Demon of Vahd. Cold Wind and Kite. And more. They kept coming. Even the Sun Chaser—of course the Sun Chaser. Her fleet had returned to her, and they were assembling to fill the space above a plaza so that buildings protected their flanks to either side.

As written, she was definitely in charge of a entire pirate fleet. As a 15 year old girl.

she claimed leadership based on having a monkey

those things can take your eyes out, man

That and free monkey shows. Pirates are gross.

>15 year old in love with a monkey
I get the writing is shit, but this seems reaching. Why is it "in love"? Because she calls him "my prince"? That's nothing more concrete than a pet name for what is a pet.

It's a few creep notches higher than the already intolerable phrases "pet parent" and "fur baby"

so stole them.

she stole them all, she wasn't put in charge of shit.

Doesn't stealing a bunch of ships make her an even better pirate?

yes, I am not the one who started this conversation.

Its either a digusting millenial fandom thing, or its flagrant bestiality.

Based blue man group

Weatherlight has its ups and downs. The problem was the main hero, he's bland and generic.

I'd recommend The Thran novel and the Urza cycle

We have been shitposting since the first post of this thread.

It makes me dad that I like this fucking game and I want to like the fucking lore but instead we get, well, this.

Weatherlight was part of a certain plot tumor that was so bad Wizards had to personally get involved and tell MaRo to cut that shit out and finish the storyline, even bringing in outside writers to do it.

MaRo has been saltier than the Dead Sea over it ever since.

Only good thing that came from Kaladesh

But guys, what about gremlins winning the day? Wasn't that pretty cool?

That reminded me a lot of
>Throw enough goblins at any problem and it should go away. At the very least, there'll be fewer goblins

Which card has that glorious flavor text?

I kind of think it would be better if rather than being a recurring villain Dovin planeswalks in, politely fucks up the party that he views as disturbing the peace, and planeswalks out with a small, satisfied nod.

They're just missing their own Legion of Doom. If it were me, I'd give them a worthy antagonist like Nicol Bolas and have all his elder dragon buddies Vaevictis Asmadi, Chromium, Palladia Mors, and Arcades Sabboth get together for acts of villany. This will make for some good conflict.

Yeah, they are neet. Agreed.

My suspicion is Amonkhet is going to be "Reality comes a-knocking for our intrepid heroes as they go up against Nicol "Oh God No" Bolas and get their shit pushed in, scattering the Gatewatch to the four winds to gradually gather back together."

Because that subplot tends to happen whenever the team starts getting a bit big for its boots early on and Bolas is a good option to drive home it was mostly luck that the Gatewatch lived through tangling with some of the big fish in their particular pond.