It's been a while since GREENTEXT THREAD

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can anybody post some cool HFY perhaps?

Posting my favorite one.

this one's cute

>filk
fuck now I have to go back and listen to Dawsons Christian

Hate to be that guy, but I recently lost my old comp and with it, all my screencaps and other pics. Could someone maybe post some paladin-related greentexts here too please?

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this one is mean.

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And that's it for my dump. I have more but I've gotta be up for class in a few hours.

I like this one.

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This is pretty recent

YEAH BUDDY

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here's an old favorite of mine

How did they mate if she didn't have orifices?

determination

So violence?

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Handjobs

Pic Related

Hands down most interesting session I've ever DM'd

>At a friend's house, going to be teaching them how to play
>Have 3 pregen PCs, all basic af
>Fighter
>Monk
>Ranger
>Everyone gets there, tell them the basics
>Everyone picks one, and we start.
>Fighter goes first, looks me in the eyes
>"I roll to shit myself"
>... "Alright, roll it."
>Nat 20, his bowels are now devoid of anything and everything
>They split up. Monk and Ranger together, Fighter alone
>Everything's quiet
>Too quiet...
>Ranger gets stabbed in the ass by a Kobold
>1 damage
>Monk and ranger get to a hallway that splits into two parallel hallways
>They split up
>Brief scuffle on each side, 1v2 vs some Kobolds each
>Fighter's on the other side of the dungeon, thinks something's off
>Rolls search
>Nat 1
>Strains his eyes, goes temporarily partially blind
>Kills a kobold though
>He gets back to the starting room, tell him to roll Listen
>"GO LEFT!"
>???
>Ranger decided to do a cavity search on one of the dead Kobolds
>Nat 20
>Uses punching dagger to widen the hole, blood is now lube
>Accidentally starts fisting the kobold
>Gets up to his bicep
>Loses his punching dagger
>Monk is traumarized
>Sole Survivor Kobold absconds like his life depends on it
>It does
>Ranger goes back for the dagger
>Takes 5 in-game minutes to get it back
>Jesus fucking christ
>Fighter goes left, avoiding the horrifying scene on the other side
>Monk recovers, tells me he wants to scream as loudly as he can at the ranger, point blank
>Okay.bmp "Roll... Con, I guess."
>18+3 = 21, he screams so loud it hurts everyone
>Ranger is now permanently deaf
>Monk temporarily mute
>Fighter and Ranger both still smell of shit
>Go to end of dungeon, no more Kobolds
>Fighter has to leave for the day
>Slogan of the session was "Shit happens"

I miss playing with those chucklefucks.

>Fighter strains his eyes, goes temporarily partially blind
>Ranger is now permanently deaf
>Monk temporarily mute

Pic related was your party.

I'm sorry I have nothing to post but does anyone have the story of the three minor gods plotting to overthrow their main gods? I read it here about a year ago but like the fool I am, I forgot to save it.

Surprised no one's posted this yet.

I did not need to read this

I feel like I'm generally worse off in life having now that I possess knowledge of the story presented in that screenshot

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That's fucking beautiful.

Ah yes, Big Boy Blue, the Moriarty of retards, who can kill with only a word and whose diplomatic immunity renders him immune to prosecution.

The most dangerous mongoloid in the world.

I want to do this now

So do I, particularly because I know there's no way in hell the people I want to do it to have been here.

>scrolling the thread, looking for posts with higher than average number of replies as indicator of interestingness

Cliche as fuck but I love it.

I bet you're the one who posts Sir Bearington and Los Tiburon in every one of those threads.

You are such an ass BEARINGTON FTW!!!!!!!!!!

And here is Tiburon as well

>(you)
That shit instantaneously ruins the story for me, people should never cap their own shit, much less the responses. If it's good enough, someone else will goddamn cap it, this is just masturbation.

What the fuck is this even about? Oooh look, Wil Wheaton is an edgy dick, how surprising.

cringe

Are you making fun of the story writer or Wil Wheaton? I've heard he's actually a pretty cool dude.
if you're the Fat Neckbeard user I only posted them because you brought them up.

Also what's cringe about them?

Welcome to HFY posters. All they ever do is post terrible stories that never should have been capped to begin with.

t.Wheaton Fan Fic Writer

No, I'm not, friend, I was asking because I legitimately could not tell what he was making fun of.
That's not specific to HFY posters and that story didn't seem too HFY to me as it was a song about shit we have actually done rather than blowing shit out of proportion.

her whole body is one

Honestly I'll never understand quite why these are so cringe. The Bearington thing basically happened with my current group, only with an elephant animal companion who slowly supplanted the druid as the actual character on the sheet.

Hardly believable shit happens sometimes.

This is Veeky Forums. Those stories, in those screencaps are popular. Popular enough to have been linked and liked even other places in the Internet.

Which obviously means that every good little user has to embrace the counter-culture and hate those casual-normie-meme-stories.

Hi Wil Wheaton.

If you follow the conversation to it's root, you would see that this wasn't about the Wil Wheaton story, but about the luchador monk and Bearington.

bumping

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I was there for that thread. That's ME there, replying to a dozen or so posts and getting the drawfag to do it.

This is fucking great.

> /r9k/ plays DnD

Oh, sweet, dear user.

I can scarcely remember a time when I was as innocent as you.

I always thought this was /x/.

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One of the best desu

This is some amazing dichotomy right here.

One of the worst,
Followed by one of the best.

>The Ballad of Edgardo
>the worst

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

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Some people say HFY is wank. I say read this.

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That is some hot garbage.
it's like someone's first attempt at writing.
Not writing science fiction, writing in general.

No, it isn't.

I bet you also like Edgardo.