Let's play The Realms of Atlantasia 2.0: The Travesty Continues

Rolled 6 (1d10)

Man, Rumand really isn't looking good here. Her stats are trash.
I'd like to draw special attention to where it says "Hit". That's her basic chance to hit with an attack.

That's right, she has a 82% chance to miss any attack as a level one character. The worst is that she isn't even an abnormality, this is how poorly designed the game is.

And if she misses, as she likely will, she has a 35% chance to slip and hit herself with her weapon. And a 20% chance to hit herself for double damage, which might instantly kill her. This happened to a character last time we tried this.

It's a fantasy heartbreaker filled with bad design, nonsensical systems, DMPCs and some sort of dragon fetish.

So naturally, the best way to approach such a bad game is to play it.

Rolled 1, 6, 7, 7, 2, 10, 4, 7, 6, 10, 7, 3, 1, 1, 10, 5, 5, 4 = 96 (18d10)

Rumand is almost finished and ready to go, but she has 1100 gold to spend.
Pic related has equipment.

Also, she needs to pick a deity to follow. Now, the game is so poorly written that it in 550 pages forgets to explain the gods, so I've improvised:

>The Groves of Dannuih (Goddess of Nature)
The Temples of Helio
>The Temple of Kahlah-dor (God of Life)
>The Temple of Rho-dain (God of Death)
The Temples of Heliona
>The Temples of Shah-narr-ah (Goddess of Healing)
>The Temples of Priss-nee-ich (Goddess of Disease)
The Temples of Ta-Khu
>The Temples of Bahl-inn-orr (God of War)
>The Temples of Drass-ixx (God of Assassins)
The Temples of Khe-Ta
>The Temples of Kahlah (Goddess of Love)
>The Temples of Magg-eth (Goddess of Extreme Stupidity)
Khiet-Sheen's Temples
>The Temples of Prahn-torr (Goddess of Justice)
>The Temples of Neff-ratti (God of Theives)
The Temples of Phileaia
>The Temples of Psy-nah-moray (God of Scholars)
>Temples of Gorr-nay-mar (God of Sieges? Spies?)
>The Brotherhood of the Shaman (Just tribal dudes)

Pick one of the greentext gods.

Forest the Forest Elf Forester is added. I'll just need to do the 30d10 rolls for him.

His social class is middle class, he's not ambidextrous, his handedness is 97 and 18, and he has 58 weapon proficiency.

Give me a 7d100 for Forester.

Rolled 7, 2, 8, 7, 6, 6, 8, 10, 6, 7, 1, 2 = 70 (12d10)

Oh, and here's the actual stats weapons have. They're not listed anywhere close the actual list of items.

Rolled 84, 10, 42, 24, 20, 69, 78 = 327 (7d100)

shoot it's 7d100

Rolled 4 (1d6)

Oh, and here's scrolls.

Don't feel crippled by the amount of choice, it's all bad and stupid. This game is so mechanically flawed that choosing at random is not much worse than trying to minmax.

His subclass is that he's a Weather Predictor, making him functionally identical to Rumand.
He has 1d6*100 gold, which I will roll for now.
However, despite his relative poverty, he has one magical ring and one magical item that I will have to roll for.

Rolled 68, 35, 64, 78 = 245 (4d100)

Rolling for Forest's magical items.

While I do that, both fighters need to be equipped with items from especially they need weapons, since the system has no rules for unarmed combat. Or ranged combat. or movement.

Forest needs to roll 2d8 for LP, and pick a deity to follow.

Rolled 46, 62, 23, 20 = 151 (4d100)

Forester has a Ring of Protection and a Book of Spell Restore, the latter of which he can't use. But the ring adds +5% to his defence (not actually his percentile chance to defend himself).

Rolled 5, 4 = 9 (2d8)

Forest needs to worship nature.
Moonshine worships the God of stupid.

Done!

Now, let me explain why called "Magg-eth" the Goddess of Extreme Stupidity.

Let me just start by saying that this game has the worst priests/clerics that I have ever seen. As a level 1-9 character, your god is always the most likely to just not listen to you, meaning you will autofail 60% of all spell. And even if you don't fail you will probably miss. But what makes Priests go from bad to downright unplayable is the fact that all priest have certain chores they need to do for their temple.

Let's see what you need to do as a Priest of Magg-eth:

>raise 15000 G.C. for the temple/rebirth
A "rebirth" is this game's bad term for a year. This is an obscene amount of money, especially considering every single Priest, from apprentice to level 100 High Priests, contribute the same.
But sure, it's not unreasonable that you need to contribute some cash each year.

>start 1 street gang/rebirth
What the actual fuck. This means that your character will need to spend a lot of time in one city, just so you can create one religious street gang. Each year. If there's ten Priests in a city, is the city just constant gang wars?

>break-up at least 1 family/season
Why and how?

>incite at least 2 wars/season
That's right, Magg-eth values one broken family just as much as two wars. Also there's five season each year, which means that every single Priest of Magg-eth needs to start ten wars each year.

Oh, and if you don't manage to fo your chores your cult kills you.

Can these chores intersect? I mean depending on the context, starting a war could potentially break up dozens of families, and a gang could raise the money quicker than one person acting alone, unless each gang member must also raise $1500. It'd raise a lot for the temple at least.

Oh, and I forgot to mention benefits from being a Priest of Magg-eth.
The benefit is that there is no dress code. That's it. Everything else is just whoever wrote this going "It's so cool to be a manipulative edgy cunt!" and "You can be a spy!".

The exchange rate on things in the cult of Magg-eth seems to be 15000 Gold = 1 street gang = 5 broken families = 10 wars.
But hey, at least you don't need to dress the same as everyone else.

Like with most things, the book doesn't actually explain that.
So yes, I assume that's possible, but you still need to start start ten wars. I don't think gang members need to raise money unless they become priests.

>long sword costs 1200
>mace costs 200
>mace does more damage
Whoever made this is a retard.

Mace and leather chest armor for Forest.

>So yes, I assume that's possible, but you still need to start start ten wars. I don't think gang members need to raise money unless they become priests.
Yeah but I mean, crowdsource that shit, get the gang members to steal shit for you, sell it, give it to you, you give it to your god. Or something.

And that's Forest done. Since things are slow, I'll go finish the Sea Elf's equipment.

Sure, but you still need to found a new gang every year to do that. Unless you delegate the creation of gangs to your existing gang, which just leads to gangs withing gangs within gangs.

I gave Rumand a mace, a shield, and some bracers. It was pretty much what she could afford.
Since she rolled to have something enchanted, I picked the shield.

Now, it's time for the first battle of the evening, and I will be taking you all through the battle system one step at a time.

Two fighters enter the arena, the first match of the day. In one corner, a Sea Elf Sailor with Mace and shield, and in the other a Forest Elf with just his mace, though he appears to be both stronger and better armoured. Since this game has no rules for movement in combat, they circle each other for a while at an indeterminate length, before it is time to strike.

Since this is melee combat, and neither character is a Mindweaver, the character with the highest Dex goes first.
Forest is considerably faster than Rumand, and has two attacks per turn.

He doesn't really have anything he can do but try to strike her with his mace.

Roll 1d100 to see if he hits. He needs to roll equal to or under 35.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

For great..justice?

Forest strikes first, swinging his heavy mace in the direction of the other Elf. However, his blow is barely sidestepped, and his weapon hits nothing but thin air!
Roll 1d100 to see how badly he misses.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

And this is why I got up this morning.

>there's an actual edgy character with 100 attacks per turn

Luckily, he avoids slipping and killing himself, which is a very real possibility with 8d+2 damage and only 9 health.
Instead, he does actually manage to scrape Rumand's armour for 1d4 damage.
Roll 2d100, the first for where on Rumand he hit, and the second for trying to hit with his second attack.

Rolled 78, 42 = 120 (2d100)

Drat, well maybe next turn.

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>you can't even find his phylactery, so don't even bother looking

First 1d4 for damage, second for which arm it hits. Odds is left, even is right.

Forgot my 1d4 for durability damage on Rumand.
In items, the number in brackets is durability, and the percentage in parentheses is the bonus to defence.

Forest readies himself for another mighty swing, but again he misses, potentially throwing him off balance.
Roll 1d100 to see how much he fucked up this time.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Actual roll for left or right arm.

These passages remind me why I threw out my middle school RPG notebooks

C'mon buddy do us proud

Awkward

Okay but seriously

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 to see how much he fucked up this time.
I'm so excited

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Okay, on his first strike, Forest did actually scrape Rumand's right bracer hard enough to do 4 durability damage, which is enough to tear it right off her.

50!
Forest's blow was spectacularly strong, but unfortunately hit the ground hard enough to damage the mace for 1d6*5 damage.

Roll 1d6 to see if his mace survives.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

I will go to bed happy if this ends with both maces in pieces.

But imagine that instead of towing that away, you published it under your name and tried to make money off it.

With a show of brute, but clumsy, strength Forest has manged to damage his own mace for 15 out of 25 durability, leaving only 10. However, he is luckily still armed.

With what said, it is time for the slower fighter to attack. Rumand has narrowly escaped Forest's mace twice, and now it is her turn to strike at the staggering Forest Elf.
Roll 1d100 to see if she hits. Being a truly shit fighter, she needs to roll 18 or lower to hit.

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 to see if she hits. Being a truly shit fighter, she needs to roll 18 or lower to hit.

Oh dag.

I have genuinely no idea how the guy who wrote this expects characters to survive past level one. They're actually more dangerous to themselves than to others.

Predictably, Rumand's feeble strike misses, surprising absolutely no one.
I'd like to note that Rumand has a 94% weapon proficiency, but that stat barely matters for finding out how good your are at hitting people.
Roll 1d100 to see if she kills herself.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

I swear to god if this doesn't work

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 to see if she kills herself.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

62 means she hits her weapon against something hard, causing it to take 1d6*3 damage. I'll roll damage.
The audience start to become upset, as they were hoping to watch a battle between mighty warriors, not two spinning idiots hitting their weapons into the cobblestone. Audible booing is heard.

I'll use this for the next attack.
And, predictably, 76 is a miss again.

Roll 1d100 to see what shenanigans missing again leads to.

Rolled 65 (1d100)

>shenanigans

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 to see what shenanigans missing again leads to.
Hopefully their weapons will break and we can see them fail at fistfighting.

Rolled 3 (1d6)

A audible crash, and the sound of straining wood is heard as Rumand smashes her mace into the stone below her, doing 18 durability damage.

And again, that's 1d6*3 damage to her mace.

And with that, her turn is over. In the course of one turn of battle (around seven minutes), they've managed to scrape each other, and partially or completely destroy actual maces. Truly warriors of great promise.

The problem with that is going to be that there's no rules for unarmed combat.

However, I will use that roll as the first of Forest's two attacks.
Seeing as 29 is actually under 35, he hits!

Roll 3d100 to see hit location, hit power, and Rumand's defence!

Rolled 29, 29, 33 = 91 (3d100)

>Roll 3d100 to see hit location, hit power, and Rumand's defence!
Could this be the end?

You fool! You wasted three good hits

Now, this is awkward.

Not only does Rumand manage to shatter her own mace within the first round of combat, leaving her defenceless, but she also doesn't have any form of backup.

>29
Forest's first mace strike manages to hit Rumand's upper legs.

>29
The attack hits with normal force, which is forceful, but probably not enough to kill his opponent.

>33
Since Rumand's Def is lower than Forest's chance at hitting, she will have to roll to defend on the worst of the two defence tables. She's simply not a skilled defender.
33 means that her attempted block is too late, and she takes normal damage. She would also take durability damage, but her upper legs are unarmoured.

Roll 1d8 to see how hard Forest hits.

Rolled 4 (1d8)

>Roll 1d8 to see how hard Forest hits.

A roll of 4+2 hits results in 6 damage, lowering Rumand's health from 10 to 4.
His savage blow nearly knocks her off her feet, and a cheer erupts from the audience, seeing some promise that blood will be drawn.

Is enemy more than half dead, Forest still has another attack left.
Roll 1d100 to see if he manages to hit twice in a row!

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 to see if he manages to hit twice in a row!

Hit!
In a feat of something resembling competency, he has actually managed to do the improbable and land another strike against the battered Sea Elf.

As last time, give me a 3d100 to see if this is the killing blow!

Rolled 42, 37, 74 = 153 (3d100)

Please bear Rumands ashes back to her one home, the sea.

Rolled 100, 81, 38 = 219 (3d100)

>see if this is the killing blow!

Rolled 2 (1d3)

The tournament organisers will she to it that all contestants will be given a worthy funeral, although there are budget limitations for unknown gladiators. In the event that she does die, her ashes will surely be flushed.

>42
That's a hit in her chest/upper arms, and I will roll a 1d3 to see which.
It's however not relevant for the damage of the attack.

>37
Another attack of average strength and average damage for Forest, though considering his first round we shouldn't complain. Average is better than nothing.

>74
Rumand actually manages to bear the brunt of the damage on her armour, even though it might not exist (but this game has no rules for such a situation), and cuts the damage of the incoming strike in half.

Give me a 1d8 to see if she can manage to survive.

Rolled 5 (1d8)

>2
That's the left arm, meaning that I'll have to roll a 1d8 to see if her armour survives, or if she loses her last bracer.

Rolled 1 (1d8)

Rollin' to fuck up some elf.

Rolled 2 (1d8)

As Rumand blocks the mace on her armour, dampening the hit considerably, her left leather brace is also ruined by the hit, leaving her now with only a shield.

1+2 damage, however it is cut in half by the Sea Elf's defensive actions, and the remaining 1.5 damage is rounded down to 1 damage. Rumand is hurt by the mace, and knocked down to only 3 health left, but she did manage to dampen what could have been a fatal blow.

And with that, it's her turn to attack, however she does not have any weapons. And there's no rules for unarmed weapons or improvised weapons.

In order to remedy that, I will houserule that she's allowed to attack unarmed for 1 damage plus her strength modifier to damage. Which happens to me zero.
But you never know, she might hit that big multiplier, even if she can only do 1 damage.

Roll 1d100 to see if she is able to hit Forest with her first!
Seeing as she's no longer using her mace, she loses her bonus from weapon proficiency, and now only has a 10% chance to hit.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>10% chance to hit.

Still reeling from hits, Rumand tries go back on the offensive by throwing a left hook at Forest. Perhaps she is hoping that a punch will catch him off guard.

However, her desperate strike is nowhere near a hit.
Rolle 1d100 to see if she manages to hurt herself.

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>Rolle 1d100 to see if she manages to hurt herself.
Do something crazy! Do something crazy!

AND SHE DOES!

In a truly spectacular fumble, Rumand manages to swing at the air and throw herself completely out of balance, leading to a swift and brutal encounter with the cobblestones. The impact does twice her damage, which totals out to 2 points of damage done to herself.
She's still alive, and able to get to her feet, but left with only a single point of LP.
Any sort of damage, from any source, will now be enough to fell her.

Nevertheless, she shambles to her feet and goes in for another desperate punch.
Roll 1d100 for her last attack.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>Roll 1d100 for her last attack.
Please let her behead herself

>here's a list of super expensive potions you can buy
>actually they're all frauds

>86
Another clear miss for the young Miss Moonshine, as the situation wavers between hilarious and deeply tragic.

>46
She actually manages to avoid killing herself, which would have happened had she slipped again. Instead, her fist crashes into the hard ground, but it is not enough to do actual damage.

>Please let her behead herself
Last time I did this, someone actually got their head punched off, so it's entirely possible.

But now, it's time For Forest the Forest Forest Forest, who cannot afford to fuck up now. He just need one competent strike to end this.
Roll 1d100 to see if his first attack is the one that will end this match.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>1d100 to see if his first attack is the one that will end this match
I believe

You may believe, but the dice do not.
Forest might have fooled the audience for a moment, seeming like a better fighter than he truly is, but he is now back to his normal fumbling self.
You know how it goes, 1d100 to see if he also breaks his mace, or something akin to that.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>You know how it goes, 1d100 to see if he also breaks his mace, or something akin to that.

Normally he would actually glance his opponent's armour, doing some durability damage to it, but here instead he accomplishes nothing, as there is no armour to hit.

Both fighters seem more pre-occupied fighting themselves instead of their enemies. This game is an unintentional slapstick generator.

Using this for his second blow.
>39
It just keeps happening, he just cannot seem to hit.

A final roll of 1d100, to see if he does something funky with this miss.

This is probably the longest lasting fight I've run in the system. Character are usually dead by their own hand or by a lucky hit by now. Might also be because we're not using a Cat o' Nine Tails, which has 9 attacks per attack.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

Come on, if he kills himself this will be great.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

The good news is that he hit something, the bad thing is that it was the ground, doing 1d6*2 durability damage to the already flimsy mace he's using.

If I roll 5 or 6, the mace is dead.

Regardless, it's actually Rumand Moonshine'w turn, who is still somehow alive.
Roll as per usual 1d100 to see if she hits (she won't).

Rolled 27 (1d100)

Death to maces!

RIP mace.

So far our incompetent gladiators have been able to hurt themselves and batter maces into the ground with such force and regularity that they've actually broken them. Yet they haven't managed to kill each other, despite the maces individually having more health than the two of them combined.
Elves just really, really hate blunt weapons, it seems.

Of course, she fucks up this too.
She has unarmed herself and beaten herself for a fifth of her total health, yet she has not managed to do any sort of damage to her enemy. Her self-destructive tendencies are worrisome.

1d100 to see if this is the fumble to end all fumbles.

...

There's so much ground to smash with maces but only one enemy elf

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>1d100 to see if this is the fumble to end all fumbles.
buttahfingahs

This is a pacifst system. You just need to sit down and rest while people kill themselves trying to eat you.

And yet still more engaging than DnD

>68
>it's just another meaningless durability damage miss
Adding to the pile of miserable disappointments, Rumand continues to batter her own fist into a hard surface, without it doing enough damage to actually end her miserable existence.
Since this game doesn't really concern itself with movement or distance, I have to wonder if she's even next to Forest anymore, or if she's just standing on her knees some distance away, blindly pounding her fists into the rough cobblestone.

Just give me a 2d100 this time, we all know she's going to fumble.

This explains so much.

Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d100)

>2d100

Oh fuck yes

>4
>AN ACTUAL HIT
She did it! She actually hit something that wasn't the ground or herself. I'm so proud of our half-dead Sea Elf, she's growing up before our eyes!

>1
Oh how I wish this was a 100, that would have been a decapitation.
But instead, we got a hit in the lower legs.
My theory here is that she was actually going to hit the ground again, just Forest's lower leg got in the way, accidentally causing her to hit him.

Now we just need another 2d100 to see if this actually does any damage.

Rolled 89, 15 = 104 (2d100)

>2d100 to see if this actually does any damage.

>89
>4x damage
Oh yeah, there's a lot of fucking anger behind this punch. Rumand screams desperately as her fist connects with Forest's lower legs, striking him with a force she didn't know she had.

>15
>late block, 2x damage
Forest's attempt to block the attack is much too late, leading him to accidentally step straight into her punch. The force of the collision, and his total lack of bracing, doubles the damage. He's very nearly swept off his feet by the impact.

And since we set her unarmed damage at 1, it's quadrupled to 4 and then doubled to 8, meaning she punches Forest nearly to death.
Forest's health is reduced from 9 to 1, leaving them both barely standing.

It's sudden death! The first to take any sort of damage falls. What a twist!
It's Forest's turn, who is now also just punching.

Roll 2d100 to see if he can still save this.

This is some top tier bullshit.
I love it.

Rolled 46, 43 = 89 (2d100)

Tell me the truth: are there hit locations besides lower leg

Yes, but the dice work in mysterious ways.

Onto Forest's attempt to get back on top:
>46
That is, unsurprisingly, a miss. Perhaps he is too stunned by his opponent's sudden comeback, or wondering how someone can almost die due to being punched in the shin.

>43
And it's another now meaningless fumble, as he does like Rumand and decides to go punch the ground for a bit instead of doing something useful. Perhaps he thunks that pounding your fist into the ground is the way to punch super hard.

Another 2d100 will be needed to see if his second attack is equally pointless.

Rolled 57, 72 = 129 (2d100)

Is there any difference in damage between various body parts?

Rolled 45, 34 = 79 (2d100)

>2d100

No, because this game has garbage rules. The only difference is possible armour you may be wearing.
The only exception is that hitting a 100 on the location roll is "Decapitation", and while the rules don't say anything about what that actually means, I've treated it as instant death. Otherwise it's all the same.

>57
MISS

>72
Again, the rules here say that his weapon (fist) hits a hard surface, so I guess he just keeps pumping his fist into the ground, perhaps trying to dig his way out of here.

It's now Rumand's turn:
And to speed things up I'll be using these rolls.

>45
Not even close to anything resembling a hit. In other words, she's back to her good old self.

>34
It's barely, just barely, but in fit of aggressive shadowboxing she manages to tumble and fall, doing 1x her weapon damage to herself. Which, as we know by this point, is 1 point of fist-related damage, taking away her 1 remaining hitpoint.
In short, she has fallen onto her own hand and fisted herself to death. Or perhaps she just hit her head really hard against the hard stone.
Either way she's no longer of this world.

Such a shame, she showed some promise there at the end.

RIP in Peace, Rumand Moonshine.

>level 1 battle end with elf suicide, ruined equipment and self-harming
10/10 system.

Jesus fuck, this system

I know that I said I'd run four characters, but this took way longer than expected, and I sadly don't have the time to do that now. Doesn't seem to be that much interest anyway, so maybe later.

Still, thanks to everyone who helped make this shitshow happen. This combat was a particularly bad one.

The worst thing about it isn't how bad it is, that can be kind of funny, but that it's so fucking hard to learn it because the book has no logical structure or index.
So sometimes you'll stumble over information that's vital to how the game is supposed to run, and it will be stated once in a single sentence in completely different part of the book from the thing the mechanic is relevant to.
Like the fact that Dex determines combat order, which is not mentioned in the combat section. Or that Mindweavers always go first, which is in another location that is not about combat.

I've written guides for myself with page references and steps, just to I can reliably make characters and run combat. It's not hard because it's super complicated, it's hard because there's nothing logical or sane about this system.

Fun times

No barbarian dwarves? What is this bullshit?

I can get being enamoured with your fantasy heartbreaker, but I cannot understand being completely oblivious to the fact that the system simply isn't functioning at all. Didn't this guy !anage to rope his friends to actually play his game even once? How is it possible to spend literal years designing the game in a vacuum?