Oh shit it's a castle thread

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An user in the thread I stole this from pointed out how useless the siege towers were

I should have made this thread when all the burgers were still awake. They love castles cause they don't have any

They would be actively counterproductive. The attackers are lugging around heavy towers that can't even reach the tops of the walls.

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Even if you put miniature catapults in them what's the point

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All we got are these shitty water forts

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Nvr forget

To your credit your guys most famous castle was a church in texas and you somehow held out with 14 settlers and maniac in a coonskin hat

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Ridiculous castles are still castles

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It's true. My retirement dream is to get something built by the people over at castlemagic.com/ to hold games and parties in while lording it over the countryside.
Pic related, it's one they did.

The mexican-american war was a mistake

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looks pretty comfy not going to lie desu

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Beautiful. Bonus points if you buy the surrounding land and force people to pay you taxes in wheat

Island castles are the best castles.

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>this kills the Mexican

But then I gotta get an heir and a standing force of men at arms to keep peace and all that work...
But then again I do own a little land in Scotland...

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This next one's a five-parter

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It's like the book "if you give a mouse a cookie"
>If you build yourself a manor, then you have to build walls
>If you build walls, then you have to dig a moat
>If you dig a moat, then you need a drawbridge
Pretty soon your little patch in scotland looks like Minas Tirith

That's more a citadel than a castle.

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I'm going to need some good neighbors then...
Interested in becoming a Liard? highlandtitles.com/

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>trebuchet on a rook
For what purpose.

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Jesus Christ, imagine having to commute daily from top to bottom and back.

>The Everlasting Gift of Scottish Land
I'm more interested than I have any right to be

So that nobody can set up camp nearby without your permission.

You missed one.

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Holy shit, thank you user, had no idea my collection was incomplete

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If Nazgul taught us anything, it's that flying creatures beat fortifications
>You see Ivan, walls are useless if you eat everyone manning them

Really giant things in general make for great siege-breakers

Does anyone have that pic where some imperial soldiers from WHFB are looking over the battlements and a greater demon is scaling the wall towards them?

>civilization don't rise and fall under the shadow of your castle
>your castle's garden isn't the schwartzwald
>the lord of all death doesn't live in your backyard
>your court alchemist isn't a dragon
>you don't have an indiana jones temple as a portcullis
>your castle isn't held up by the a physical manifestation of laws of eternal recurrence
Why even bother having one desu.

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I like how the parishioners leaving church must pass the gibbet to get home.

If you can't tell, I'm kinda scrapping the bottom of the folder at this point

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>besiege any fortress in china
>wacky asian hijinks ensue

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Again, I know these aren't the best castle pictures, I'm looking for another folder where more sweet, sweet castles might be found

The effort is much appreciated.

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Found It, we're back in business

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If the castles in your setting aren't full of mud you're not doing it right

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>maniac in a coonskin hat
thems fightan words, son