Warp fuckery 40k edition

For some reason, the army you spent all your time (and money) on becomes real and loyal to you. You either become your HQ unit/general equivalent or stay like you are now, what happens?


I got the idea from a thread a while back.

Take over the fucking world and Unite it. What else would you do?

>Nearly 200 marines and an Inquisitor/Warband

... Probably couldn't unite the world with that. I don't know maybe unite my country? The Inquisitor might die like a bitch to Emus though.

Depends on your army, I suppose. Some of us have titans and primarchs.

>Mfw Blackshield-descended Chapter who snuck back into the Imperium as loyalists after the Heresy

Half of my chapter has their Primarch trying to rape the Wolves, the other half has had their Primarch fuck off into the Eye and go brood for a while.

Still, I suppose psyker-heavy sneaky beakies could do a lot of damage

>Imperial Guard
>Only have around 200 troopers, a few tonks, some valks, 1 baneblade, 1 knight.

I might just start using africans for blood diamons just to buy more dudes and expand my army.

I mean... patrol africa under the contract of the UN as a private prace keeping force.

>Catachan Army
>With Raptor and Skritali Kill Teams

Oh man I can take over some jungle country and have kick ass technology.

Raptor as in the space marines?

>mechanized orks in truck, wagons, and bikes

Move to the middle east and show ISIS how it's done until we grow enough orks for a real waaagh.

>A large Mechanicum force appears in the middle of North America.
>An Ordinatus platform 90% complete.
>Killbots, Killbots everywhere.

We're here to bring the Omnisiah's enlightenment onto this backwards world. Let the great works begin!

Let me march alongside you, brother! The War Convocations are prepared!

tell me more about the fluff for your chapter, I like this idea. do current members know that the chapter snuck back in? How did the sneaking happen?

also who are the Blackshields

here, just reread the fluff for blackshields, arn't they they marines who join the deathwatch? how did they exist before the heresy?

found another source, turns out I'm a dumb-fuck who wasted two and a half posts. this is why googling beforehand is important fellow annons.

for any others that might not know: A marine that abandoned a heretic legion in the heresy painted their Armour completely black and divested themselves from their parent legions as much as they possibly could.

Blackshields existed in a different sense in the Heresy - they were groups of Marines who didn't subscribe to their Legion's direction or decisions during the Heresy for whatever reasons. They would scour their chapter markings black, rename themselves something or other, then go out and do their own thing. Mostly it was Traitors who didn't want to betray the Imperium, but it ran both ways. There's even fluff/rules for them in 30K.

As for my chapter, the fluff's fairly straightforward. The chapter initially was made up of two groups:

- Elements of the exiled Terran Raven Guard who were thrown out by Corax, who stumbled across the...

- Elements from the Thousand Sons fleet sent away from Prospero by Magnus, who found the Terran RG elements while both of them were out in the void on their respective Primarch's orders.

Running out of supplies quickly with strict orders to never return, they banded together out of necessity. The RG elements brought in the Thousand Son elements after Tizca vanished and they learned of the Wolves destroying their home - neither group felt any particular loyalty to their legions anymore, but still wanted to serve.

The Raven Guard elements, knowing that the wider Imperium now regarded the Thousand Sons as traitors and heretics, refused to abandon them and instead decided along with their new allies of necessity to scour their markings from their armour and ships, paint their armour white as a rebuke to both Corax and the darkness that took the Thousand Sons, and raid both Imperial and Heretic supply lines for desperately needed gear. They stuck it out for as long as possible trying to help the wider Imperium from the Traitors, with mixed success.

Nobody really knew who they were, Solar Auxilia commanders aren't going to question the horde of assault psykers in Astartes armour saving their ass, and the Traitors didn't give a shit who was killing them, just that someone was.

Contd.

While the Heresy wound down and came to an end (and the Scouring began), one of the first Inquisitors of the Hereticus was sent out to the far western end of the galaxy to investigate a swathe of Chaos Cults that were springing up all over the place. When he got there, to his amazement, the populace told him the Astartes in bone white armour, covered in robes and looking like knights of old had already delivered them from the darkness.

After investigating it, the Inquisitor found them mid-purge of another cult, and gave them a choice after watching them and listening to their communications for several days and judging them at least loyal enough to pass muster - Join the Imperium as just another lost chapter that resurfaced after the wildness of the Heresy, or be obliterated now they were known. They chose the former.

So, the Aether Blades came to serve the wider Imperium. They primarily rely on the tactics of:

- Speed, most of the army is either in Land Speeders, Drop Pods or Jump Packs

- Assault, 90% of the army is fully focused on melee and charging

- Psykers, every single squad has a Librarian Sergeant (on tabletop, I use twin Conclaves to represent this) and warp ability is highly prized.

On the tabletop, their defining features are that every last marine uses the Grey Knight model's helmets for that knightly look, every Sarge and Character wears a red hood, most characters of import and Veterans Sergeants wear plenty of red robes over their armour, and they favour Power Swords.

I've got over 100 Jump Pack troops, and 30 Melee/Shotgun scouts that infiltrate/scout in and shit on most things first turn.

*Looks at warlord titan and 5000 point mechanicus force boosted with 30k mechanicum*
Well damn son.
I'ma need a lot of toasters.

Finally, here's an example of a Tactical Marine Veteran Sergeant. Feel free to give criticism! I've got nearly 6000pts of these guys.

I welcome all who stand for the Omnisiah. Come brother, let us carry enlightenment across this world and beyond!

>large army of 'nids
>6 tervigaunts
>5 carnifex
>4 hive tyrants
>a shitload of gaunts, both shoots and stabby
>biovores out the ass (10)

I become the swarm

Lemme join. I got me 5000 points ready.

I just bought the assassinorum boardgame. How much shit could I fuck up?

Depends on how much you know on who really has control.

I have some 30+ dunecrawlers m8, you could take over a continent with that so I'm in. (I work at a place that handles shipments by the shipping container, stuff gets "misplaced" all the time and no one gives a shit)

>I've Just started building my army.

>Going striaght for war convocation.

>All I have right now is a knight titan.

I STAND READY TO SERVE THE MAGI OF MARS

Get a 'Start Collecting! Skitarii' box m8, it's worth it

Do you mean in real life or among the assassins?

>2 squads of renegade vets and a RCS dedicated to Khorne, all in Chimeras
Its a start, I guess... Might aswell start plundering

Talkin real life. If you just target figureheads, even 41st tech won't save you for long. But if you target the people with real power, you can really mess up the world.

Oh I've got some castelleax, and some other crap.I actually started collecting a guard army right before they came out with skittari, and I'm a massive mechanics fanboy, so goddammit GW's.

On a threadly note, the Rangers can cross fuggin continets by walking non-stop, that and martian unity means that the robes would be fucking dominating the earth. (Unless we let the nids get out of control).

20 necron warriors, a ghost ark, a destroyer lord, and a command barge. I'm not sure what I could do with that small a force, but at least they're indestructible.

Hell, I could do a bunch with the callidus alone.

The real question now OP is.....
how do all these different armies deal with each other? And what happens if someone made an Emperor model? (as in the emperor)

I very much like this fluff. I worry about their relations with their more Anti-psyker brethren, But this is simply good shit.

would you be willing to share a picture of any of your minis?

I'm more focused on just your army, this dosen't happen to anyone else but you.

Also if big E was in an army he'd go all "protect and ascend humanity" or you become him as the question states.

>become an Archon with a bunch of Watches, Kabalite Warriors, some machines that run on pain, hover boarders, hover tanks and a haemonculis buddy

I scoobity doobity webway gate the fuck off this shit hole.

If I'm stuck here I don't know what the fuck I'd do.

Fair enough.
Now the question is what if you've got Chaos GOD models.
would earth just sorta wank out of existence right there.

I mentioned that in my collection I had an Inquisitor and retinue - The reason for them being permanently attached to the Aether Blades is to monitor them for signs of deviance and make sure that any problems can be contained. In practice, the Inquisitor has a Null Rod/Condemnor Boltgun/Psyocculum, and a retinue full of Scions with Plasma Guns/Hot Shot Lasguns and 2 Jokaero all in a Chimera with Psybolts and 2 Heavy Bolters/Storm Bolter on the pintle.

Absolutely, let me grab some and i'll post them.

You don't need a model of the gods, just a greater daemon and boom, you got Slaanesh/Khorne/Tzeetch/Nurgle.

Mrh.
Of course, this brings the question of would the Immaterium become a thing?
Or would all demon armies spontaneously fizzle out of existence?

We have a convocation! The forces of the Omnisiah march!

>Two squads of tactical marines, a force Commander, one Captain, a chapter Master In termie armour, 1 Venerable dreadnought. All of them are Ultramarine Successors that piss on the Codex.
>One Valk, one Baneblade, and two platoons of IG.

I mean, I just started getting into 40k. So I'll probably keep quiet until we have more troops, then I'll strike!

I have but a humble dominus maniple, but I would be honored to join the quest for knowledge.

also an execution force

Here you go, i'm very sorry about the photo quality, my phone is 5+ years old and it's dark.

I run these guys as Grey Knight Terminators who accompany an ML3 Librarian, they represent the Chapter Master and his Terminator Honour Guard respectively. I figured all the HG would be Psykers, so GK seemed like a natural fit.

I think at that point it's too big to be called a convocation.
What's the Fall of Cadia super formation name....

Some Vanguard Vets with attached Librarian.

Why's that guy on the right painted like a scion?

>Two squads of tactical marines, a force Commander, one Captain, a chapter Master In termie armour, 1 Venerable dreadnought. All of them are Ultramarine Successors that piss on the Codex.
>One Valk, one Baneblade, and two platoons of IG.

I mean, I just started getting into 40k. So I'll probably keep quiet until we have more troops, then I'll strike!

AB Tacticals with their Drop Pod. I run them as Carcharodons if they are not allied with anyone for that extra melee ability, otherwise they are Raven Guard.

And some Scouts with their Land Speeder Storms. Hooded heads for the Scouts were hard, ended up using Skitarii Ranger heads I had lying around.

He's my Inquisitor, Kytan. I couldn't kitbash a Condemnor for him, so I usually just counts-as it, or run it as an Inferno Pistol. With the 2 Jokaero in the group I regularly get Improved Gun Sights, so the extra range makes it pretty decent.

I'd assume the immaterium would become a thing.

Here's a better photo of him.

Which would then mean pskers become a thing....
Which would mean the Emperor would become a thing....
Which would mean warp storms and a psuedo age of strife would become a thing....
So many consequences.

IF bad shit happened, psykers are put on a leash for a reason and if you have some in your army then you'd know not to let them slip up. Besides pre age of strife was ok, Slaanesh and the eldar fucked everything up (literally)

40 Firewarriors, 40 Pathfinders, 80 Drones
2 XV-104, 2 XV-107, 10 XV-8 Crisis-Suits, 6 Broadsides, 2 Commanders... list goes on. Lots of special models, from Greater Good as well.

I don't really know. Guess I'll establish a new country somewhere in Africa/Asia? No idea if it's enough to take over the world, but a middle sized third world country? No problem. Then again, in Gundam 00 they eradicate almost all of earth's forces with far less suits.

And please don't hate. I like my battlesuits, and I would buy a lot more if they weren't as ugly as the stormsurge and I weren't as poor. At least I'll get my supremacy armour soon.

You've got a balanced army, normal suits are fine.

>Skitarii
I promptly decide in offer my services to the Mechanicus anons and order all ky vanguard to go stand over.. there somewhere, away from me.

Did I mention I really like my pathfinders? Either in small rail rifle squads or a really huge troops with grav-inhibitor and pulse accelarator drones.

Any Harlequin lovers? =[
I've just started Harlequins, I have a pretty basic Red Scorpions force that I absolutely love, but the painting and gameplay wasn't challenging.

I love my homicidal space clowns, I just don't play with them. Painting them was a dream though, some of my favourite models I've ever done.

Ayyy that's half of what I like to hear xD I've only played one game with them, last week, but I just dont play like ever. They're pretty fun to be honest :P

Lesse, I have 20 tactical marines with lots of lascannons, 10 assault marines, a dreadnaught, two rhinos, the captain from assault on black reach, 5 terminators (aww yiss) a muthafuggin land raider... redeemer :'( but still that thing will dominate urban centers. And then a 12-man squad of death company. No idea how to use that aside from pointing them in the direction of an urban center and saying sic em.

And then me, a mace-wielding epistolary in terminator armour with a stormshield.

This pops into existence in Cape Town. Since my entire army/strike team is mechanised or can fly, I make decent time to Pretoria (a day or two), and take over the government buildings. If prez. J-Z is there, I put a bolter round through the fuck's face on live TV. Try to acquire support from the military, since I am now the controller of the top brass' source of bribes. At the very least, get control over the airforce. And then it's expansion time. Use cargo planes to drop assault marines on small countries and so on.

>Have a massive pile of ork crap I kitbash together for fun and never play with because my LGS is full of WAACfags
>Small but growing 30k World Eaters collection
My home city becomes a ruined war zone full of rusting trukks and screaming, murdering lunatics randomly shooting and stabbing everything that moves. Just another day in beautiful Detroit.

I become the new super power in the world.
About 200 marines, 3 superheavy tanks
170 guardsmen, 6 dreadnoughts, 12 tanks, 2 flyers.
And the living saint

I install a new world system of government and ensure peace throughout the world.

I'm a Farseer, and have 10 guardians, 6 banshees, 6 dire avengers, 6 scorpions, a warlock, 3 scatbikes, 3 vypers, a fire prism, a hornet, 5 wraithguard and a wraithlord. I use my psychic powers to play the stock market and become a bajillionaire, then buy an island and set myself up as a James Bond villain. Also fuck a shitton of qt eldar pussy/boipussy

Yes, but what do you do with your army?

>emperors children slaanesh daemon prince. Its time to drop the bass boise

What I'm now immediately most worried about is the Anons who collect Officio Assassinorum agents, especially if they have multiple of each from updating to the new models.

>A bunch of Ork Speed Freekz suddently appear in Italy.
"BOYZ, TA'DAY WE RACE ON ROME!"

Well, I suppose the blood angels 8th and 5th companies as well as a Archangels demi-company are teleported onto earth

so I guess we go fuck Isis's shit up

got a fucking sokkar too, and about 3 different stormravens so getting there shouldn't be a problem

>20k points of orks become alive.
I don't fucking know what to do and frankly i'm scared.

I go to the moon and Order my Kabal to build me a sick ass moon base, then I lead them in raids to steal hot earth babes and build a huge harem, eventually they either betray me and skull fuck my corpse or the US finally nukes me because they cant fight me via conventional means. Shit aint easy for an Archon out here.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>about 10 Khorne Berzerkers, 10 Bloodletters, 10 Raptors and a Khorne Lord on a Juggernaut

Oh you know damn well what we're doing.

WRYYYYYYYYY

>Become Daemon Prince of a Word Bearers Host
Obviously I take over the world and spread the true word.

>4k points of templars
Time to remove isis

I have sex with celestine

>Become a qt Ordos Mechanicus Inquisitor with a bunch of Tech-Assassins, Henchmen and Skitarii at my side.
>also backed up by a whole Battle Maniple, and Cult Mechanicus detatchment.

By the Omnissiah! The only weird thing is that I now have a new, autistic Dad, since my inquistor is related to my Tech Priest Dominus.

Oh, and as for what I would do is, keep these chuckle fucks:
From devolving into Tech-Heresy.

B-But I can't control sly marbo!

Every army we own? Or main?

If its main then I have around 200 gaunts, 12 warriors, 3 carnifex, 3 hive tyrants, a swarmlord, a mawloc, old one eye, 20 genestealers, 2 broodlords, 30 gargoyles, a tyrannocyte, tervigon, exocrine, 3 zoans, 3 hive guard, 3 venomthropes and a hive crone.... id say they could pretty quickly consume biomass and grow more nids, very fucking quickly...

If its all armys I also have 20 cabalites, multiple raiders and venoms talos and incubi...
30 death guard marines and around 50 nurgle daemons

>all that disgusting flesh

My farsight enclave will fight beside you, for the greater good. 30 strikers, 10 breacher, 8 pathfinders, 50 drones, 1 piranha, 1 riptide, 14 crisis suits and of course, commander farsight.

>mfw I have a fuckton of heresy-era Raven Guard, Pale Nomads/Carcahrodons, Raptors(The Green ones), and 5 knights including an Atrapos.

[Cobra Commander Voice] I want it all.

Sneaky beakies infiltrate everywhere, seize control. Sharks and knights enforce it.

11/10 would carve out a bloody empire again

75 CSM, 5 Terminators, two predators, a Forgefiend and a Heldrake. I'll join the 10 Raptors as a Chaos Lord and we'll conquer this wuss country.

Just a fledgling Daemons army but I'll gladly turn into my Keeper of Secrets. With only a couple of screamers, some Daemonettes and Seekers I would probably piss off to the Warp asap.

My forces are merely a War Convocation with an extra Dragoon, sadly, but I do have the strong beginnings of a 30k Mechanicum army converted and scratchbuilt to be Magos Genetor.

You guys need some flash-cloned hordes, some biomonstrosities that fight like Castellax and an air wing of squidblimp scouting and combat drones? I call recon duty for the Omnissiah.

Good book series

I did like it. Wish it was longer and did more battles and worldbuilding, though. Such a cool alt universe deserves more screentime.

On the upside, it gave me cool patterns to greenstuff up my cyber-occularis drones.

I have a huge red corsairs army. Almost thirty rhinos, a bit over three hundred marines (chosen and havocs included) and twenty raptors, thirty five bikes. Several lords and a couple of sorcerers, even a warpsmith and a dark apostel. One heldrake and two hellblades. A couple of walkers. Tanks. A doomsday device and a daemon prince. Sadly only eleven terminators.

I don't think I need to tell you what would happen.

You would get shot to pieces by the huge Mechanicus/Mechanicum alliance massing as we speak in an awesome pitched battle? I'm down with that.

I doubt I'd stand much of a chance.
I'd still do the same; though.
ACTIVATE THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE AND MADE EVIL DEMANDS! WAHAHA!

Before the battle starts, can we go to opposite world poles and do the same thing with the other Anons' Ordinatus? Watch everyone be confused as fuck as the world is simultaneously threatened by a 8-foot tall power-armoured glowy guy and a bunch of robed dudes with metal dreadlocks.

THEN beat the shit out of each other.

The forces of the blood angels stand tall with those of the mechanicum, in the emperor's name we shall reunite this world!!

Redbros stick together.

Not till we get that Baal Predator STC you pretty boy Fucks.

> 3000 points of DKOK, almost all infantry

WE WW2 AGAIN BOYS