Lets get edgy

Ive been doing some background writing for an upcoming campaign for cyberpunk 2020,just wanted to see what /tg thought of it and feel free to write fag it up any and all cool ideas and writing are appreciated.
here's the link to the writings

Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/document/d/1pO0gqnW2TAkSTksQp7XUiWRalupy0l2bFMpyKob8Aes/pub
ambient.ca/cpunk/drugsmain.html
m.youtube.com/watch?v=QdTX-8vQuEY
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3LC4PNyoxpU
m.youtube.com/watch?v=K6FXClouLB4
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfptl4O0yW8
m.youtube.com/watch?v=gQejouuuN4Y
twitter.com/AnonBabble

fucking forgot the link goddammit
docs.google.com/document/d/1pO0gqnW2TAkSTksQp7XUiWRalupy0l2bFMpyKob8Aes/pub

change your fucking font

style over substance

>docs.google.com/document/d/1pO0gqnW2TAkSTksQp7XUiWRalupy0l2bFMpyKob8Aes/pub

I'm a bit confused, mainly because I don't know Night City that much but it seems like all the corps and areas are just lifted from the C2020 lore.

This background stuff is all fine but the questions you need to ask are ( and this may not need to go into your file, but you should keep this in mind):

Who are your pcs and what exactly do they have to do with this world? You should know who they are before your world and campaign is built so that it is built FOR them, that is how you get player buy in. Even if it is a sandbox the stuff that is happening in the world should be stuff they have stakes in outside of money. Utilize their lifepath stories to make them always feel like they have skin in the game. What is your contribution to night city in terms of organizations and institutions? Who are the big players in the west end and what have they been up to? What major events have been happening ? What is the newest and most controversial tech going around ?

style over being able to read

thanks and yeah ive got some other stuff in the works but the little stuff i what gets me to writing i plan on tomorrow working on the more important story stuff and yeah im definitely going to be asking my self those questions. Again thanks

*is

Reading through... First thought for now, it seems pretty Japan based, therefore, feels pretty retro.

Ok, I'm through with my reading. It definitely feels retro.

First, a map is missing.

The major criticism I have is that the districts' names are way too generic - it was also something that bothered me about vanilla Night City. Corporate District, Medi District, Bank Block, New Downtown, Old Downtown, Night City University, Night City river - those names all sound bland and boring as hell. Find some cool names to replace them.

The next thing I'm not so fond of, is when you have a new city, and it still has a Little Italy. Italian immigration stopped a century ago, and unless the EU turns into a Third-World shithole, there won't be enough immigration to justify an Italian ghetto.

Lastly, the city feels small. I don't get that feeling of a huge, tentacular urban sprawl by reading your description. That's another criticism I'd have to make to the original Night City, too. IMO, cyberpunk games should take place in megacities like Neo Tokyo, BosWash, or the Pearl River Delta.

I'd also add an arena for some brutal game (inspiration: Speedball, Smash TV, Manhunt, The Running Man...). A section about urban tribes, music styles, and fashion would be pretty good, too.

What I liked where some names of places you made (Medusa's Head, Veil Garden...). I like the section about drinks, too.

I set my Night City on Mars, allowed for it to be small, far from authority and with no where to go.

Learn punctuation. I get that there's a style you're going for with the narrator, but there's still a fair bit lost by the near-total lack of it.

Reading the drinks and drugs, why the hell would you have Smash? Seems a bit shit compared to what it's trying to replace.
Also "2020's answer to alcohol — it's yellow, foamy, and comes in cans." is either really good or really dumb, I can't decide which.

Telling us the zones is okay, but it feels like there's not much info other than "this area is rich", "this area is poor" and the slightly more useful "this area has gang wars" - knowing who some of the big and mid-scale players are, possibly being a bit more direct about where's good to make contacts/acquire things.

yeah the names were just kinda shoved in as place holders for now and hell yeah I totally didn't even think about sports, and yeah thanks for the tips always happy to hear em.

Not OP here. Smash was also shit in CP2020. Why anyone would bother with it is a complete mystery.

Urbance, the web animated show, has a similar drink called NDorfin. It's packed in cool looking triangular cans and contains synthetic endorphins. It has most likely a stronger euphorizing effect than standard alcohol and is probably more addictive, too.

Apart of the docks of West End, the office towers of Corp Zone, and the Mall, where do people work? Where are the industry, research labs, recycling centers?

Why are there nomads? Are there any jobs for them? Do they come to sell stuff?

Is there an airport, a maglev station - how do people travel?

Is there organized crime apart of the yakuza? If yes, who and where is it active?

What are the really seedy places where one can have drugs, alcohol, and joytoys? Where are the brothels, strip joints, and massage parlors?

What kind of gear do gangs have access to? Are they linked to organized crime?

Is only Arasaka doing police job, or is there a local PD that has to patrol the slums? And if there's a PD what kind of equipment does it have? Or do the slum dwellers simply pool their money together and employ headhunters/vigilantes? Maybe the cops are simply one more gang, financed by the organized crime to patrol the distraction districts.

The price of drugs is way too high. Check out this: ambient.ca/cpunk/drugsmain.html

Most streetdrugs are aimed towards poor people, so they have to be cheap, and probably destructive - meth, krokodil, crack cocaine, shisha, fentanyl, paint and glue sniffing. Drugs for the upper class will logically be much safer and much more expensive - maybe they are even virtual. Combat drugs and other performance enhancing drugs are extremely rare and are even more expensive.

bump for interest

I'll bump, too. Because Cyberpunk 2020 is one of the greatest games ever, despite having a very average system, and a meh-tier backstory.

>rules are meh
>setting is meh
>game is great

So how does this work again?

I never could explain it.

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D&D and Rifts do this all the time.

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Yo, OP! You're still here?

As OP disappeared, I'll post some ambient music that would probably fit his Night City:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=QdTX-8vQuEY
m.youtube.com/watch?v=3LC4PNyoxpU
m.youtube.com/watch?v=K6FXClouLB4
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfptl4O0yW8

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Cool looking movie: m.youtube.com/watch?v=gQejouuuN4Y

Because cyberpunk needs drugs, lots of drugs.

This was a Night City map I drew some time ago. I'm not really happy about the shape. It's too square, not tentacular enough for my taste. The districts' names were all ripped from The Matrix online game.

The city is divided in different districts. Each district is built around one or two landmarks - the university, a gated community, a megamall, a business district, a luxury shopping street, etc. As a general rule, the further you move from this landmark, the poorer the area gets (in relation to its city part: corp zone plus, corp zone, slum plus, slum, combat zone). The combat zone extends over multiple districts, and it also has landmarks. It's not a generic barren area.

I had this vision of a cyberpunk city from trips to Bangkok, where you also have one big sprawl, with no real center. Each district has its own center.

NO! western cyberpunk. NO! Punk. Throw away the gutter trash that's what we need to happen

all these street people live in the slums and are HOMELESS, not PUNKS with money and tech and guns. NO! Stop that. Asian cyberpunk IS BETTER. IT doesn't CARE about rock punk aesthetics and NEITHER DOES your audience. STOP. No more 80's punk people

Not OP here. If the good areas are reserved for corporate staff, then all the rest have to stay in slums. Agent Kruger from Elysium is surely well paid, yet, he has to stay in a favela.

People in slums aren't idle, either. They have to find ways to make money to survive - drugs, prostitution, gambling, garbage collection, mugging, stealing, different services (rental of goods, loan sharking, pawning, repairing of stuff...), etc. Some are more successful than others. In any case, slums have their own parallel economy.

For the rock and punk aesthetic, I totally agree. It's overrated.

Asian cyberpunk used the rock and punk elements a lot. Burst City is about punk and rock. Anime characters often have rock, punk, or visual kei style (ex. Cybercity, Bubble Gum Crisis).

OP here sorry about ghosting it was really early in the morning when I posted was really tired went to sleep.Thanks to everyone who posted to help me add to my doc and ambient music user thanks that shit was dope

also just wanted to let everyone known the doc updates as I write shit so far things have only changed ever so slightly but keep an eye out.

>Not wanting style over substance
Get gud

Watch Dark world and make it cyberpunky

Asians are like the least cool people on earth. Fuck that shit

>Asians not cool
>Yet somehow Latin Americans are
Yes I love having coups

>A continent of autists that never leave their homes and live to do soul crushing labour unitll they die (With the exception of SEA but we both know that poster was not)

>More cool then the continent that invented Salsa, Hot Latinas, Bright vibrant colours even in the Barrio, and the most Noir place in the world outside of places scattered in the West like NYC or London

Sweet Cyber-Jesus, that's unreadable.

>Latinas
>Hot
I think not

You sure about that?

>Spanish
>AND native American
Latinas are disgusting

The DOC is looking better now. You do have some run on sentences. I think the font and tone is good, but some extra punctuation could make it more readable without loosing any style.

I have a better idea of what you are envisioning, but I don't see how your setting being " a post transhumanist hell hole " fits in. Transhumanism usually involves everyone moving beyond their humanity by fusing into the net or something of that sort. Your setting is very clearly "slummy corporate controlled near future" and has nothing to do with that.

Salsa is like the opposite of cyberpunk.

It's not about Asians be cool, it's about high-tech. If people think high-tech, they think about the USA, Europe and Asia. No one connects high-tech with South America. Same goes for finance. Singapore, Hong Kong and to a smaller part Tokyo are important in the banking sector, but South America isn't (Carribeans are only renown for being fiscal havens).

That said, if I had to pick up today's most cyberpunk city, I'd say Caracas and Manilla.

Cyberpunk 2020 compensates with the best style of all cyberpunk games. R. Talsorian can really thank Sam Liu, Paolo Parente and especially Matteo Resinanti.

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Sci-fi redlight district

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Stop eye-fucking me. Use a real font for the actual text. Use the cutesy font for.... headers and titles and shit if you want.


>Night city a post transhumanist hell hole

Try some punctuation.

>.Until that fateful day where some dipshit in Atomic weapons defense and response nudged a switch and welp there went LA so now night city was the big city on the west coast.

Are you fucking serious? "Whelp"?

ok, let me make this clear. There's different styles of writing for different intended effects. You're using a sort of "I'm talking at you in word form", like it's a conversation. But this is the intro to a book. The first part is an introduction and it's mixed with conversational-speak. It's jarring and reads like shit.

What those cocksuckers at SR do is have this sort of things played out over a pretend chat-log which let's them get away with that sort of lazy writing. If you want that sort of style, DO THAT.

>The agrodome- corps who want to take out some frustration come here you pay to break shit….why would you pay to do that

you mean "people" instead of "corps"? the last part needs something more. Like some punctuation. "People actually pay for this?"

The content is....

A list of locations, people, a couple sentence descriptions.... A drink list.... a copied list of drugs...


What kind of low-effort bullshit is this?

If it took him more than a half hour to write this, it was wasted time

Low life is more important than the high tech though

No, because then you just have real life South America.

Also, South America has never been, and never will be, relevant after Spanish colonization.