Which Warhammer 40k faction do you choose?

so if you were tossed into the Warhammer 40k Universe which factions would you want to be apart of? (note: you will become a member of the race you choose)

Tau. How is this even a question?

I choose death.

Dark Eldar baby. If I die rich and important enough, then they can just bring my ass back.

>Not becoming an Aeldari or Exodite Eldar
How is this even a question?
>MFW will never have a qt3.14 Eldar waifu, living a comfy life with children.

Failing that, Mankind. Of all the races in the galaxy, Mankind has bled the most. Their cause appeals the most to me on a personal level.

Chaos. Nurgle, preferrably. To hell with the corpse Emperor!

There is literally no reason to pick anything other than Eldar. They're physically and mentally superior to humans, have constructed a utopian society, and only get sucked into conflict when it's a necessity. And now with Ynnead about, they don't even have to worry about getting their souls eaten upon death.

Kick back, relax, and enjoy life on a Craftworld. Occasionally go off to war and kill some Terminators with the equivalent of a submachine gun, then go home and celebrate.

>become tyranid
>finally find trillions of screaming brothers sharing your thoughts and hobbies
>get birthed times and again in continous bliss as you do what you are made to

Chaos definitely seems like the most free faction, you can do anything you want and then hide in the warp if anyone comes after you. You can use any weapons you want, use badass ancient tech and battleships and fuck daemonettes all day.

>Chaos definitely seems like the most free faction

>literally slaves to darkness
>free
pick one

the Imperium is a slave to darkness and chaos also, only it's hidden behind a lie and with the excrutiating death of billions of people to keep the principle lie alive. The Imperium couldn't exist without chaos.

Chaos Space Marine, and let's worship Khorne till death.

i would like to be an admech explorator.
Exploring strange new worlds Fighting new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no imperial has gone before.

Eldar of course. They still have the best way of living, becoming an aspect warrior sounds radical and it's basically your own choice what you want to do. And if you fear for your soul, there is either the newly resurrected Ynnead or Cegorach.

A necron with intact intelligence. Nothing can harm me and I probably never have to leave my tomb.

Nice Imperial propaganda name. Look at it this way: knowledge is light, and ignorance is darkness. The Imperium goes to great lengths to keep its citizens ignorant, and the vast majority of them are treated like slaves by the state.

Chaos only sucks if you suck. If you're ambitious and talented, it's the most awesome faction to be a part of.

>Exploring strange new worlds Fighting new life and new civilizations and to boldly go where no imperial has gone before.

and killing them.

...

well that goes without saying. i mean after the last time the exlorators ignored some caveman xenos race they turned into the tau empire

Orks
I'll use WAAAAGH as a buisness to end WAAAGH as a buisness!

stfu heretic scum

Imperium.

Vast majority of humans live in relative peace and harmony. Might have a massive casualty turn over but you are looking at literally .00001% of the entire empire even seeing combat and even less in fighting xenos or chaos.

Yes you might get born on a hiveworld but you could also get born on an agri-world or pleasure world so the risk is both part and parcel of the scenario.

TL:DR edition.

Most humans arent aware chaos and aliens exist because of how big and untouched the Imperium is.

Ork

When existence is all about explosions, shots being fired and people screaming in agony, being part of the people who love all that shit is the luckiest thing you can do.

And unless you are an astartes, you are most likely going to be used as a meat shield, a ship slave, or a sacrificed.
Chaos is extreme social darwinism, and regular humans just can't compete against chaos marines/daemons/psykers

Nice try, Ahriman, but we all know Tzeentch is going to detonate your arrogant ass the moment you actually open up the Black Library for him.

It's vice versa, you lying twat. Chaos can't exist without it's main power source.

Sisters, I have nothing to back it up, but I swear somewhere they said all tyranids are girls expect tyrants, Probable speaking out of my ass here but I like that idea.

Obviously some variation of SPESS.
Best role you could ever have. Maybe even go slightly renegade and go build a spess empire somewhere in the deepest ass that isn't a warp storm.
So like Spess Marine Rogue Trader. But with less retarded hats and more reasonable.

Likely bullshit. Most tyranids have a stronk male theme, even tho technically they might be even genderless for the most part, with only some bits like Norn Queens or Tervigons that might be female.
And then male-female are only applicable template for humanoid food in this particular galaxy. Pantstealers can reproduce without being of any particular gender or even sexenings.

Seconded.
Fuck dying. Fuck sickness. Fuck having to give a fuck.
>No, CAPTCHA. I AM a robot.

This. Just gamble on getting on a garden world

I'm pretty sure almost all tyranids are genderless. They aren't meant to be viable species, they're born, they fight, they die, they are reabsorbed.

Genestealers as you said can definitely reproduce, as can hormagaunts. I'm not sure tervigons actually grow the gaunts in their stomach, or if they just have fully grown gaunts in storage.

vast majority of humans live like shit

Necron that still has sentience.

I mean it'd be pretty nice to be one of the only races that don't have to deal with that pesky idea of dying from sickness/old age. Even Eldar still have to worry about that.

Necron with minimal robo alzheimers preferred. No point in really trying to hold onto the sorts of morals and perspectives that would crumple in 40k's logic, so I might as well embrace the inner transhumanist evil overlord flamboyancy.

On second thought, screw it, let's take the robo alzheimers too- let's ride this spiral to the end of eternity

and the Imperium couldn't exist without warp travel and psykers. Literally the best thing for humanity is to fully embrace chaos and they could totally dominate the galaxy and probably reach new galaxies.

Enslavers.

I picked tau and while I havent won every game as you faggots would make me believe(mostly from the crying at the game stores about how much cheese tau are). I find myself to be out cheesed most of the time thanks to people that like to load up on psychics. I mean this one guy yesterday was mad cause I said no flyers to make the game even so he got excited about bringing in his chaos unit(trying to deep strike most of them). I steam roll the only units he had on the board pretty easily. He deep strikes and gets owned and gets butthurt and quits the game.

Tau baby

Adeptus Mechanicus (assuming it mean joining the priesthood)

>swag robes and tech enhancements
>probably longest lived human subfaction
>practically limitless opportunity for advancement
>can basically tell almost anyone to fuck off and give you the shiny bits
>can spend time fucking about with stuff, looking for stuff to "acquire", or helping other organizations

01101110 01100101 01100011 01110010 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01101110 01101111 01101110 01110011 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100101 01100001 01110011 01111001 00100000 01110010 01101111 01110101 01110100 01100101

Well, aside from that whole Slaanesh-WILL-eat-your-soul deal

Humanity wouldn't dominate anything, Chaos would. Eaten by Nids or subsumed by Chaos, either way humanity is not making it out unscathed.

I'd have to say a member of the Thousand Sons, preferably at the least a sorcerer so I'm not dust and still have my mind. Screwing with people using warp powers and stuff while having a sexy set of armor and potentially following Tzeentch would be really nice.
A Necron is fine too.

Squats

False. Chaos existed before and after the Imperium existed.

Daemons such as Be'lakor and the daemons locked in the Daemon Cage were activate before the War in Heaven took place. Stop this meme that Chaos requires mankind.

You hve to worry about losing your mind though which is a fate worse than death. Also you have to deal with being soulless which the Necrons don't seem to enjoy very much.

You see, chaos requiring fuel from mortal beliefs is from the old, good lore. Chaos being all powerful and bullshit is from the new, terrible lore written for pathetic faggots like yourself.
Savvy?

Why would you want to be anything other than a human!

>t user with shit taste

>man, I just love jerking it to the omniverse always having been shit and chaos being utterly unstoppable, ridding the setting of any value or tension
>man, my taste is so great

Tau, Shas Caste

Easy fucking choice. I have always wanted to be apart of something greater than myself, something I could believe in. The Tau Empire is basically an idealized Hindu Caste System, I dig that.

Can I be a Pathfinder?

Tau Earth Caste. Sit back, invent stuff, and let the drones do all the physical work because FULLY

IoM.

They have tanks.

>t user who wasn't read Lovercraft

Tau. Because for some reason (assuming in-universe I wouldn't know about GW's writers) they always seem to win. So my relative safety would be secured.

That said, out of universe they're my least favorite faction.

Ork Boss. The life of an ork would be shit for me, user the human, but I will have a blast for sure if I become an ork. It's the only race that gives you for granted that you will enjoy 100% of your life.

>birthed times and again in continuous bliss as you do what you are made to
Only the Swarmlord does this.

The Norn Queens have lied to you. You will be drop podded into some shithole and are nearly Guaranteed to be devoured by rippers within a standard week from your birthing.

>which factions would you want to be apart of?
Craftworld Eldar.
One of two races where an average citizen has a reasonable expectation to have a high standard of living. Tau is the other, but since I didn't grow up in a caste system I wouldn't want to live in a caste system, I can see it being alright if you did.

If I could specifically choose what position/person I could be in a faction my answer would be subject to change.

>tfw on a intergalactic cruise ship with thousands of eldar waifus desperate to perpetuate the species.

>imperium is dumb
>chaos is dumb
>eldar and necrons are assholes
>tau are gon die
>nids are nids, unless I get to be the Hivemind itself I won't bother
>orks have fun but also have no real self-awareness unless they're rare giant warbosses

The real answer seems to be

>bring as much of the current 40k lore with me as I can
>potentially write up some Your Dudes stuff beforehand to swing things in my favor before I go in
>use meta-knowledge to gain as much power and influence as possible in chosen faction
>see if the webway leaves this galaxy or otherwise figure out a way to just not be near anything
>gather as much technology, weapons, nice people and information as I can
>go fuck off for a few millenia while shit sorts itself out

Imperium can't beat Chaos because it'll eventually respawn Chaos anyways when it maintains its facist absurdity. Eldar are probably going to either fuck off, die, or kill Slaanesh and then wait for everything to calm down. Necrons will probably reclaim everything once Chaos dies off after having nothing to feed on. Nids will also die after not having anything to eat. Orks will either get eaten by Nids or inevitably purged by Necrons. Tau will either die somewhere along the way or fuck off. Necrons and C'tan may have a final, final showdown. Crons will probably win if they aren't too weak by that point. If the lose, C'tan will likely become the New Old Ones™ and start shit all over again.

So I'll just wait in stasis somewhere and go hang out with the crons once they get their dicks back, or boop around messing with the C'tan creations and such.

>Nids will also die after not having anything to eat.
They've already crossed an intergalactic void of nothing to eat. They aren't going to die from nothing to eat, they will hibernate and travel to another galaxy to find something to eat. It seems reasonable to assume that the nids would be able to reach the next galaxy over before starving.

If there is nothing to eat in the next galaxy over there is not enough information to discern whether or not they would be able to travel further or begin to starve off there.

However there was fluff mentioning that radio chatter from outside the galaxy sounded 'orcy'. I don't have a screenshot or link to the reference, but it seems to indicate that there would be some mushrooms for nids to nom nom outside of the galaxy.

CSM for sure. Probably Death Guard because chemical and biological warfare seems fun, plus you can sport a gas mask. World Eaters would be fine as well though.

Unless you are one of the most badass motherfuckers in the world, who action movies are written about, the only rational choice from an individual perspective is either Nurgle or Craftworld

>However there was fluff mentioning that radio chatter from outside the galaxy sounded 'orcy'

Nope. There is no proof that the probe made it outside the galaxy.

Then they leave after this galaxy is exhausted. Doesn't really matter as long as they're gone.

hipster

Chaos.

Blood for the Blood God!!!

Chaos demon, nurgle-aligned preferably. I feel like it is the only way to achieve total absence of fucks-giving, which is, let's be honest, the only way to achieve some form of happiness in 40k.
Plus immortality

World Eater CSM/Blood Pact trooper

>get to travel the universe and fight all kinds of people
>live the warrior lifestyle
>get to kill cucks, disgusting aliens and degenerate people and be rewarded for it in raw power
>can literally kill anyone you don't like with no repercussions as long as it's in single combat
>potential for eternal life
>doesn't even matters if you die because Khorne doesn't care from whence the blood flows, so defeat =/= failure
>get reborn as a Daemon and begin the cycle anew

I'm going with Daemons. Slaanesh or Tzeentch, depending on where on the ladder I'd start. If I get to pick, then sign me up for Lord of Change status, but if I have to work my way up then Daemonette it is! Feels like it'd be easier to advance under Slaanesh, and Keepers are almost as neat as LoCs.

>Rise up against fascist dictator on hive world
>Seize the means of production with my underclass brothers
>revel in the slaughter of the bourgeoisie
>ultimately consumed by a Mawloc in the planet's final days, becoming part of a greater whole and cashing in on my vore fetish simultaneously

Fucking all smiles.

I pick Slaanesh Demon

Orks, as they are the pinnacle of creation.

>Live in a perfect meritocracy
>Spend time at the garage shooting the shit with da boyz and working on my bike
>Spend the rest of the time looting and pillaging parts for her
>Bike gets louder, faster, flashier with every passing battle
>Krump 'umies

>I admire their... purity

Orks.
Being so stupid that you warp reality sounds fun to me.

All these Ork bros here. They are the premier option, Tau fluff confirms that they reproduce by spores so you waaagh til you die then either die happy or maybe come back

they look so cute and happy

Gotta go with the alpha legion, man they're the ultimate alphas they even have it in their name. all you imperial fags being forced to do whatever they want like the cucks you are

>And now with Ynnead about, they don't even have to worry about getting their souls eaten upon death.

>he drank the kool-aid

Only if I was an Oldcron
>wake up feeling nothing but hatred for the living and an unending desire to end lives
>see it's been millions of years, feel crushing disappointment that there probably isn't any life left in the galaxy to end
>look outside the tomb
>oh boy, time for Red Harvest.jpg

Can I be an Inquisitor?

Of course! Which order would you belong to?

It wouldn't matter because me and all of you autists would be dead

Malleus

Just leave it to me guys, I'll be the best Inquisitor ever

Do not fear death, fear dying with your work incomplete.

I'd join the Inquisition too desu

C'tan

Now fight me.

My battle-brother.

There are easier ways to commit suicide user

That is a lie.
First of all, Imperium very well could exist without warp travel and psykers, the Emperor wanted it to be, but the Heresy happened.
Secondly, warp travel and psykers have nothing to do with chaos.
Chaos is the space aids inhabiting the warp, not the warp itself.
Oh, and to embrace chaos is to similarly stagnate, since the ideal galaxy for chaos is the eternal, neverending war for the sake of warring(or rather feeding the chaos d-gs with souls, deaths and emotions).
Now come closer, I want to BLAM you with my sword.
Half-truth.
Chaos existed before mankind, but it was limited to a pathetic version of itself.
Most of the "gods" became sentient also during the mankind's evolution, same as the first daemon princes were among humans like Doombreed.
Mankinds is also the main power source of chaos today. That is also why they keep stealing slaves and reproducing them endlessly.
It's no meme, it's fucking truth.
And yeah, your new lore sucks dicks almost as much as you do.

Bring it on!

I'd love to be a regular Tactical marine. Blood Angels or Flesh Tearers for me!

looks like someone doesn't have the reading comprehension of a child.

What's the next step after getting Start Collecting Skitarii?

>inb4 change army

>Chaos existed before mankind, but it was limited to a pathetic version of itself.

Wrong, daemons were a threat to Old Ones empire. Enough of a threat that they built the Webway and the Daemon Cages to counteract the daemonic threat in the Warp. This was before the War in Heaven. Even back then Chaos was a major threat.

>Most of the "gods" became sentient also during the mankind's evolution, same as the first daemon princes were among humans like Doombreed.

You are a child. Doombreed was among the first daemon princes of Khorne. he wasn't the first. Be'lakor is the First Daemon Prince and he predates humanity and the War in Heaven even.

The whole thing about Chaos being spawned from mankind is false.

> but it was limited to a pathetic version of itself.

Wrong, you waste of flesh, The Necron Pylons kept the Warp sealed and isolated from Materium. In fact, they were the only things protecting reality from being obliterated by the Warp. As they got damaged by time and when Abaddon started deliberately hunting them fown and destroying them, the power of Chaos grew as the barriers that kept them out weakened.

>Mankinds is also the main power source of chaos today.

Their main source of food in the galaxy but they do not need them and never needed. That's why Chaos's plot revolves around destroying the galaxy and erasing all life in it. Chaos is eternal and requires nothing to exist.

>your new lore sucks dicks almost as much as you do.

And you suck my dick, cunt. Stick with the new relevant lore when discussing the fluff. No room for headcanon here.

Sane Newcrons are the only right answer.
>no fleshy mortal cage to get in the way if your fun
>no soul means no warp signature means no Chaos fuckery which is the #1 reason to avoid living in the 40k universe in the first place
>chill out in a bitchin space tomb for as long as you please
>if you go out you get to collect Pokemon
>smart enough to be able to cooperate with other factions
>powerful enough to bitchslap other factions being twats
>be super spooky 24/7
>Slow And Purposeful
>strap some rocket launchers to your shoulders, get real agitated, and scare the hell out of the Flesh Tearers

>First of all, Imperium very well could exist without warp travel and psykers,

No, it can't. Not without the Webway and the Imperial Webway was conquered. This doomed the Imperium to be always dependent of the Warp top exist. That's the entire point of the Webwawy war in the HH. So your point is moot much like your life.

>Secondly, warp travel and psykers have nothing to do with chaos.
>Chaos is the space aids inhabiting the warp, not the warp itself.

The Warp is Chaos and Chaos is the Warp. The two are indivisible. Source is the daemon of Chaos codex.

>Oh, and to embrace chaos is to similarly stagnate, since the ideal galaxy for chaos is the eternal, neverending war for the sake of warring(or rather feeding the chaos d-gs with souls, deaths and emotions).

There is no stagnation in Chaos outside of Nurgle's territories. It's an endless cycle of creation and destruction.

Don't you love it when Imperialfags try to tell us Chaosbros how our lore works?

is that official artwork?

fuck

The Chaos gods.

Macha's craftworld will be kill within the next month.

>us Chaosbros

Please.

-Most sane Necrons want to return to flesh because the joys of life are barred to them. Also it's extremely hard for them to experience any positive feelings. Their minds are consumed by bitterness, hate, and a lot of negative emotions.

-Also being soulless sucks hard. The Silent King and the rest of the Necrons feel a hole in their being that gnaws at their minds making them perpetually SAD. That's why the Eldar claim being soulless is a worse fate than being captured by Slaanesh.

-Mental degradation. Through the Destroyer Curse, The Flayer Plague, or freak accidents, Necrons can get a fate worse than death.

Despite all the power and wealth, being a Newcron is one of suckiest existences in the setting. If you were smart, then you would have choose to be a free C'tan shard. Immortality and phenomenal cosmic powers on top of that? These guys are living it up.