Don't hurt us adventurers!

Don't hurt us adventurers!
We are but peaceful people who want to live our lives in peace.
Those horrendous atrocities you describe where done by another tribe of goblins.
Now please leave us be!

>Detect Evil

Oh well ok that's perfectly fine then. Here's a portion of all the money our village made this year so you can buy yourself some food and build homes, we were going to spend that money to fix our roads and maybe add a few medical centre's around town but I'm sure you poor goblins deserve it more than us. We will be sure not to celebrate too loud during our holidays so you don't have to be bothered by the noise, and here is the location of our daughters in case you want to make some friends! Don't worry about bringing any money along with you, our sons will work extra hard to accommodate your people! Welcome to your new home!

I say we should integrate them into our society so that way we can better understand why they behave. Who knows? We might even learn something about yourselves. After all, all goblins aren't violent, only the violent ones are violent. We can even change them for future generations!

#notallgoblins
#maglubiyetismisareligionofpeace

I roll for insight.

Why don't we exchange qt women's to make peace official?

We know you like our big wart covered fatties. So let us take some cute-I mean ugle smooth skin big breasted short stacks off your hands?

*smite*

God fucking damn it Stan, this is the sixth time we've come across peaceful monsters! Why the fuck did you let me roll a barbarian if you were gonna pull this stupid bullshit? I don't know why I even HAVE a great-axe anymore!

Let's make one thing clear, Joe. Them claiming to be peaceful doesn't necessarily mean they actually are or are not. And neither case means you're not allowed to wipe them out. So stop whining and tell me what's your next action

Never trust a Jew.

I roll to ban goblins that come from known dangerous areas, in fact the same areas the last guy banned them from, and everyone seems to love him so it shouldn't be an issue

Fuck you Stan, the last time you told us that we got a lecture on the importance of not judging people on appearances or some pussy shit like that. You don't get to act all high and mighty just because you pull the "good monsters" shit out over and over again. No wonder Marcie left you, you spineless little shit!

>look for a corpse.

Watch your tongue if you value it.
That last time, let me remind you, you've slaughtered a settlement of lizardfolk along with their non-combatants even though they were trying to peacefully lice in their swamp.
Now the time before that why you've decided to let those orcs go I have literally no clue. I couldn't possibly have been more overt that they were lying, what with their bag dripping with blood, that was full of human scalps

Talk like a normal fucking person Stan. Shit, this is why nobody likes you. You think you're SOOOOO great and have to let everyone know about it! Lookit me, I'm Stan! I'm amazing! I work at Burger King! I know so much because I took a philosophy course online! I'm Stan!

You know what? Fuck you. I'm taking my pizza and going home. Yeah, MY pizza. Lord knows your cheap ass never chips in for it.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass!

You misconstrue, green Hobbit. While your protests may work on moral adventurers, my gruesome friends and I did not enter this field in order to aid the downtrodden or for the sake of stopping wickedness. We, to the man, have become adventurers in order to rob and murder legally. And so here is what will happen. You will gather whatever meager valuables your rat-orc village has on hand, and bring it out here, along with the best available directions to this other tribe of goblins. Because we intend to wipe them from this plane of existence. Not because they kidnapped children or butchered a few farmers, but because the baron is willing to pay us for the endeavor. Do you understand? Does your tiny little goblin mind comprehend how little value you have to us?

Good thing I travel with a ranger familiar with the clan markings of the goblins we are in fact seeking as well as a wizard who can use magic to discern truth and scry on the unwary. By their expertise combined I can verify your claims in short order and then move ooAAHSNEAK ATTACK SNEAK ATTACK AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

If they don't pay taxes to the Overlord, they're criminals. The Overlord doesn't care if you are human, orc, or a pigmy giant space hamster. All in the world who bow to Kyros are citizens, the rest are criminals.

'We will spare anyone who can put their own hand up their bum in the next 15 minutes, we are merciful so you may use lube if you have any, even spit. Anyone not self-fisting will have 2 limbs of their choice lopped off along with either their nose or an ear: your pick. Any questions?'