Galactic Federation Meeting

Just wait until I let hear your people about communism and the Marx guy. First time it happened here was absolutely amazing.

No, really, we have some bird seed and some nice perches as well. Are you sure you don't want any?

How're your sectors?

Oh. You mean the despotic old empires. We are not that, the people, including xenos are treated fairly. We have a council of Barons, Dukes, and Counts. Xenos are at the same level as us. The council works with the king.

You mean fiefs? Yes, they are fine,

Are you sure?

But does the worker keep the fruits of his labor?

The worker is paid fsirly. Serfdom was abolished in 999 XA, after Earl Marxes Rebellion.

>The worker is paid fsirly.
Yes that calls for a revolution.

Yes. Each is ruled by a Duke/Baron/count, has some autonomy, living standards are high, workers are at efficinacy, etc.

So they aren't producing nothing but energy while they're starving to death?

Revolution?! What in blazes! You can take a look throughout the core worlds! Yes, there is poverty, but what can we do? The govt. can't help everyone, and at least we allow individual freedom, unlike you authoritarian scum.

The Chiirim Hive in present. The Hive will acknowledge the aliens from another galaxy, but requests they do not enter The Hive's borders. The God-Queen of The Hive demands no non-Chiirim enter The Hive's borders.

No, food is abundant, no famines. Also, there are minerals, abundant jobs, a new economy, and free schooling.

Ah, yes. Do you wish to allow a convoy to visit for a non-aggression pact? We are willing to enter a partnership, especially one of trade.
Himinis Tam, Chiirim.

EXTERMINATE!

What gives you enough time for a revolution! You can visit to see for yourself.

AHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL!
>PULLS OUT AUTO-GAUSS PISTOL AND SIGNALS GUARDS
SHOOT IT! KRIPEI! TORO!

The Hive welcomes trade, so long as outsiders do not enter The Hive's borders. The Hive keeps "neutral zones" outside its' borders for the purposes of diplomatic meetings and trade.

We are willing to provide you military support, but expect delays.

Okay then. But, if you allow passage through this sector, we could lend in minerals and some ships.

It is a pleasure to meet you, everone else is a xenophobe, communists, or crazy stagnant empires.

FIREPOWER INSUFFICIENT.

YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!

(Fires shots)

DALEKS ARE SUPREME!

It is appreciated.

The Hive can not. Ever since passage through The Hive's borders was used to launch simultaneous strikes against The Hive's wormhole network the God-Queen has declared not non-Chirrim are allowed within The Hive's borders.

The Hive is pleased to greet other sapient species, but must protect The Hive and all Castes within.

Yes. Can any other empires introduce us to them.

FUCK! GET TO THE SHUTTLE! GIVE ME SOME BOMBERS. IF WE CAN'T SHOOT'EM, WE'LL BLOW 'EM UP.

>Castes
Excuse me, repeat again. Did you say a caste system? Can you explain.

What even are you?

The Chiirim of The Hive are an Arthropod species, what other species have been known to refer to as "insects" or "bugs". The Chiirim exist in a Hive-mind ruled by the God-Queen, and have several birth-castes. Workers are stronger and dumber than other castes, as an example. The Hive has enhanced this natural feature with genetic engineering, producing Worker-Caste who are far stronger than ever before, as are the Soldier Caste.

ELEVATE.

EXTERMNATE ALL LIFE FORMS BELOW.

EXTERMINATE!

Proles? I am sorry for my original outburst, as we have had bad experiences with caste-ism in our past.

FUCK OFF WE'RE FULL

Nothing that a mass driver cant handle
>FIRE OFF THE HEAVY TELDARITE INFUSED ROUNDS.

WE ARE THE DALEKS!

WE HAVE EXTERMINATED MANY INFERIOR SPECIES BEFORE YOURS.

WE MUST EXTERMINATE ALL LESSER SPECIES!

It is a natural part of The Hive's physiology and psychology, not oppression of members of The Hive's individual lives. Back when The Hive welcomed other species within its' borders none were ever "enslaved", as they are not part of the Chiirim and thus do not fall into any Caste.

We are creatures who are avians, or birds as you might call it. We are ruled in a monarchy by our benevolent empire. We encmopass 200 worlds, discounting the orbitals and outposts. Individualism is there, we do not have castes. Everyone is free, no slavery.

(Eerie silence)

EXTERMINATE THIS!
>A massive tungsten shell hurls towards you at 3/km per second. You only wait until upi are obliterated.

.....................................................................................

youtu.be/0v2l4vw9nzI

Hahahaha, really love the doctor who reference.

We are ruled in a feudalistic system of monarchy. Our emperor is Kinrotos XVI.

Who are you?

bump
bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump.

Orewa o chin chin.
(What up realm 6.2 motherfuckers!)

I'm Batman

What?
(O shit it's filthy frank.chin-chin love this guy.).

>>incoming transmission:

//start transcript

{AS I ADDRESS YOU NOW MY LEGIONS OF [transcription error] HAVE TUNNELED THROUGH YOUR WORMHOLE AND WILL DESCEND UPON YOUR INFERIOR [transcription error] WORLDS. THE GREAT PUTRECENCE OF THE HELIOPHAGE WILL RAVAGE YOUR BOUNTIES. LEARN MY FACE [transcription error] FOR I AM YOUR UNDOING}

//transcript end

Biometric scans.
That is peculiar! You are humanoid mammal, but you show reptilltian features.

GODAMMIT! GET ME COMMAND,NOW! SEND OUR FLEET TO INTERCEPT. BRING A CONTIGENT OF MEN TO HELP!

This meeting does not appear particularly organized.

What's that? We are being boarded! Fuck!

>>incoming transmission:

//start transcript

{WE ARE ALREADY HERE. [inaudible/ transcription error]}

//transcript end

Yes, We wanted to, but due to external threats the meeting is in dissarray, especially due to this threat!

Well, that leads to fief pinoss. You'll be obliderated by mass drivers.

>>incoming transmission:

//start transcript

{THIS VESSEL IS MINE AND YOUR CREW ARE NAUGHT BUT MEAT}

//end transcript

Warrior Caste vessels are already assaulting you within The Hive's borders.
You made a mistake, The Hive's wormholes are heavily protected.

Eat this
>Throws grenade
Move forward, charge! TAKE 'EM DOWN!

>>incoming transmission:

//start transcript

{WE ARE THE WORM}

//end transcript

Greetings Milky Way Galaxy, the Wibarian Trade Empire wishes to negotiate trade rights in hopes to build good relations between our native galaxy and yours.

However, seeing how the meeting has fallen into chaos, we will try again after forty seven Wiba moon eclipses (That's a week in Terran time).

The Trade Empire shall establish communications with the Milky Way Galaxy later!

This is the most cringe-worthy thread I have ever seen in my nearly decade of time on this board.

You've clearly never visited the dead space aka jojos crossover fanfiction threads that somehow don't get pruned

We won't involve you in this! Why did you come here if it's a war zone! Get their ambassadors to safety.

Please, you are exaggerating beyond reason.
I could look through the catalog and easily find three that are just as bad or worse.

You should have said " This is the most cringe-worthy thread on the board today." Which, while a slight exaggeration is at least debatable.

Lol. Visit the in-charecter AMA's at r/asksciencefiction. Most of them are so cringe.

>AMBASSADOR! INCOMING! 20 FIGHTER SQUADRONS, AND 10 BOMBER SQUADRONS
GET THE ANTI-FIGHTER FLAK CANNONS ONLINE.

youtu.be/cVsExUKkEoM
youtu.be/bLwE5yYIecs
Nothing to see here.

Here is a disintegrator ray.

Use with caution.

We called "dibs" on this planet.

After the war with the martians....

>>incoming transmission:

//start transcript

{FIGHTERS? THE HELIOPHAGE DO NOT BUILD STAR SHIPS.

WE BREED LEVIATHAN. ALL YOU KNOW WILL BE SWALLOWED BY THE WORM}

//transcript end

You've seen nothing yet.

Give me a link to that

LEVITHI- SHIT! GET ME THE ENERGY CANNONS! ARM ION, LOAD MASS DRIVERS!

>Space-time anomaly detected

Good evening denizens of galaxy.. 561

This is Velsuf trading delegation here on behalf of the Jade Galactic Empire, here to open a port of jump between our stars and proceed with trade.

{Mild space artillary cannon sounds}

It would seem you have a worm problem. Mercenary services for worm extermination and other extragalactical threats are available for purchase from the empire.

Queen Amala De Sul sends her regards on behalf of the founder Velsuf and all species of the Jade galaxy.

No one ever considers the lowly space janitors in all this space conflict, do they?

This is how you get strikes.

Gallifrey rises!

Where... Where are we?

Oh look. a pest infestation.

>Uses the hand of omega to delete the worm from reality.

Anyone else?

The Hive is willing to purchase these mercenary services, for the other empires. The Hive are masters of Terraformation and will offer their services to the Velsuf

What the fuck are you xenos doing in my galaxy?

>Its those bugs that eat everything my lord.

Then get the promethium-oxygen-hellfire compound and use it like bug spray.

>Yes my lord.

We request biological samples and access to your trade hubs. The expression of bio-diversity in this galaxy is of great interest to us and the further strengthening of our gene-warrios.

We appreciate the offer, however our home galaxy is already fully terriformed and thus undeeded.

Is this offer acceptable?

If so, please expect our expiditionary mercenery fleet to drop into your local space-time in approximately 5 days time.

We are hiring new staff. We do free dental (and general wellfare).

The Chiirim Hive does not eat everything. The Hive simply wishes to trade with others, and to be left alone.

Please direct your ships to the following trade-hubs, they are in the "Neutral Territories" that The Hive allows outsiders to enter.

Why, hello there. I'm sure we will get along.

That does not explain your presence.

And (explosion)

Sorry hold on a minute.

(Daemonic screeching)
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!)

Thank you sl- I mean master.

Anyway... What are you doing here?

My apologies to offending literal insects.

I meant that other insect species.

Excellent.

Question: why the detatched trade process?

Please kill us all.

It is the only way to save us from ourselves.

As has been explained before, The Hive has previously let outsiders into The Hive's borders. They used this to simultaneously attack all of The Hive's wormhole generators, crippling The Hive's logistical capabilities.
Ever since the God-Queen has decreed no outsiders within The Hive's borders.

I am kairos.

vizier of lord tzeentch.

ask any question but beware.

for one head speaks the truth.

and the other lies.

We could just give you dimensional wormhole generator tech, bypassing the need for gateways.

I CATO SICARIUS! of the famed second company.

Bring a gift to the xenos from Beautiful macragge!

Aaaaaand the 40kids are here to ruin everything gg everyone better luck next time

There is only one Emperor, and his name is Sheev.

We Ploraxians have heard about your imperium, and have decreed it is a threat to our interests. We may issue a formal decleration of war.

Velsuf, you are a proud warrior class. The Ploraxians approve. We are sending a delegation to negotiate.