Would you rather have a dwarf or a hobbit gf?

Dorf

Love the idea of having a cute, fiery little dwarf wife that could somehow effortlessly bench me despite being over 2 heads shorter or more.

This outghta motivate an independent search.

Dwarf, preferably with magics.

user will get a bunch of traps if he does that!
Search Alfie webcomic user, you'll find it

Got to get a Halfling girl. Nothing like a girl that can cook.

ah alfie. Ive read that story cover to cover. just wanted to make sure I wasnt missing out on some other shortstack goodness

I would rather have a thread about traditional games

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Tough titties, this is what we got.

Come to think of it, a dwarven drawback may very well be tough titties. And if you complain about them she'll get out the Book of Grudges and write that down for posterity.

Hobbit, cause I'm a pedo

user, that is fine in Pathfinder. Halflings can take the Childish feat to get a bonus to pass themselves off as human children you sick fuck!

I've rarely actually seen many depictions of female dwarves that I'm happy with. Most are rather stocky, in an almost exaggerated fashion.

You say that like it's a problem?

Hobbits, at least, are not ugly as sin, and they definitely don't have beards. Plus, if they're proper Tolkienesque Hobbits, I would love the personality.

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Halfling. Dwarves are too stocky. I want a girl with more normal human proportions but small.

Hobbit.

A Dwaff lassie easily.
The wide hips.
The ample bosom.
The thicc thighs.
The fat ass.

Fucking perfect.

halfling, because you dont have to worry about her growing a beard.

You gotta consider hairy chin vs big hairy feet, and there's going to be a cultural stigma about shaving either.

It's about a cheating hobbit slut. Don't read unless infidelity is your fetish.

Stockings.

i feel the majority of time im with the girl, i'll be looking at her top half, so i can work with the feet. But a hairy face, nah bro I aint gay.

Hobbits have normal sized feet. They're just furry on top.

Why don't Hobbits wear shoes?

Wouldn't it make their live vastly easier/more comfortable?

Or do they just have callus' that can stop a nail?

Also, traveling through snow without your feet falling off from frostbite would be unavoidable.

>Wouldn't it make their live vastly easier/more comfortable?
No, going barefoot is vastly more comfortable. The only problem with that is accidentally stepping on something sharp, but the Hobbits have very resilient and insensitive soles, so they don't even care.

Whoever loves me more I guess

It is described that the bottom of their feet are rough and calloused, not sure how strong or what not.

As for the snow, the Shire is quite small and they seem to spend quite a bit of time indoors anyway, each building in a town being built on top of another or right next to each other. If they need to travel long distance in the cold I assume they would have thick stocking or something to mitigate the effects.

A Dwarf will only love your gold.

>All women will only love you for your gold.

fixed that for you

An Orc will love your muscles
An Elf will love your intelligence
A Gnome will love your sense of humour
A Halfling will love your personality
Humans, as far as I'm aware, are incapable of love

They're big calloused knobbly things.

Nonsense, dwarven emotions run just as deep as hobbits, maybe even deeper. Which can be a problem, since they hold grudges forever. Guys complain about their human girlfriends bringing up shit they did years ago, a Dwarf would be even worse. She'd have that shit ENGRAVED so she could physically hit you over the head with it.

They have thick insensative soles, and they don't like the way shoes feel.

too bad this world is full the fuck up with humans and nothing else.

I think Halfling is the correct answer unless you like banging someone with a beard.

>Can cook
>Can drink
>Super chill
>Shorter than me (Azn manlet who will never learn)

As far as I remember, their feet are not described as large anywhere in the books. I suppose people think that way because of the movies, where the feet are naturally large because they're prosthetics.

Hobbit

Isn't a hobbit just a shit rural dwarf?

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Neither. Give me some of that thri-kreen goodness.

Dwarf.
Dragonlance pretty much ruined halflings and gnomes for me.

I thought you were kidding, fa/tg/uy. You were not. What the fuck...

That's a dark elf.

Jesus christ, can that thing even walk on those stumps?

Gnome gf

shit, im only 3/4 through the first book.
are they all ruined?

>They have thick insensative soles
>and they don't like the way shoes feel.
You would think they would at least wear sandals so they wouldn't have to deal with stepping in animal shit

>implying the Shire isn't fastidiously cleaned

Man, dealing with the neighborhood committee's regulations would be the worst part about living with Hobbits. ("I'm sorry but that wagon in front of your property is too big, you'll have to remove it!") They are a stodgy sort who care a lot about keeping up appearances, while dwarves are more concerned with functional things.

There is no such thing as a female dwarf.

I'm not even sure what's worse: to step into a pile of cow dung once in a while or to have your feet constantly soak in stale sweat and fungus.

Lord of the Rings dwarf or Dwarf Fortress dwarf?

I hate that comic because Chad fucks the cute Hobbit.

>when you realize that humans are an abomination for having evolved instead of being created by a deity
>everything they do is tied to reproduction and continuation of the species, consciously or subconsciously.

What prompts a man
to declare his disdain
these works of others, and to share
his rectal pain?

>As far as I remember, their feet are not described as large anywhere in the books. I suppose people think that way because of the movies, where the feet are naturally large because they're prosthetics.

They got this idea from somewhere.

>Isn't a hobbit just a shit rural dwarf?
No, that's a gully dwarf.

According to The Complete Book of Gnomes and Halflings (because they're not important enough to get their own splatbooks) kender are a subrace of halflings that only appear on Krynn.

Psycho Mantis, you're dead. Go back to the afterlife.

>ywn worship her butthole with your tongue

My wife is 4'9, somewhere between thicc and chubby and is an actual artist/craftswoman so I guess shes a dwarf.

She looks like a hobbit mind u. Cant cook for shit tho

Post her feet so I can jerk offfffffffffffffffffffffff

I am angry.

Angry about Elves.

Dwarf is the only correct answer to this question.

nice

Hobbits seems like they have something like a rutting season where they probably have lots of behind the barn sex when they're young and just never talk about it because it's not polite conversation,

Dwarves seem monogamous as fuck and I want a gf who'll flip on her back and moan "give me strong seed and I'll give you a strong child" and mean it.

But love is just an illusion created by chemicals in our brains for the sake of reproduction and kinship ties! Only elves and orcs can truly feel actual love!

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>bunch of sweaty teenage hobbits humping away just out of frame at any summer festival
>teen pregnancies turn into early marriages where the girls just pick one of the dudes who stuffed them at the drunk barn orgy
>turns out every polite way of saying "we fucked" comes from Hobbits trying to be polite about their weird primeval mating ritual

Sounds about right, seeing as that's how it goes in rural towns.

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Hobbit

Dwarfs are too dour or too rambunctious. Hoobits are steady and pleasant.

tgs are banned to make space for more sperg

Well shit user I'm looking for smut about hobbits not humans.

>Dwarves being too dour
Maybe in public or with strangers. But Dwarves also have a reputation for the best hospitality this side of anywhere. Plus, they are the high water mark for brewing and distilling alcohol.

Dwarves are like those quiet people who are the best possible friends after you know them for a while.

It's webcomic named Alfie, you fuck.

I always google Buttsmithy comic. Comes right up.

Who cares about her when there's her mom?

I wasn't asking for sauce. I just thought it was kind of funny that the reverse image search identified the hobbit as a human. Maybe I'm the only one who thinks that?

Her mom is also a cheating hobbit slut. That's where she gets it from.

She's married to a fag. It's barely even a marriage.

Excuses.

Dwarf. Thicc, fit, stacked, and have beards on their crotches

I actually have an amazon fetish, but I'll admit I've seen some cute dwarves

I like 'em thicc and juicy.

>But Dwarves also have a reputation for the best hospitality this side of anywhere.
Ironically, that's actually Hobbits.

>all of the other races are just each of the racial gods' ideas of "Human but better"
>this is why Humans are the baseline to which all others are compared

why wouldn't that be a thing? It makes sense that some of them could.

I bet dwarf girls have huge crotch jungles

I've said the same about asian chicks

>dwarf women festively braid their bottom beards for their husbands if they come back from a successful battle
>young dwarf woman purposefully braid over their vags when adventuring so no sneaky human tries to violate her at camp
>it's weird for them to bathe with other races, because they think they're in the presence of teenagers
>it's also rumoured that the elvish lack of body hair is the real reason for dwarven disregard of elves

Elf gf

>elves don't got pubes or pit hair

this meme needs to die.