>Be pic related
>be Pimp Daddy Papasmurf
>do smurf things
>fistan fightan fartan
>suddenly your SPIRITUAL LIEGE returns from the back of your beef fridge.
>what is the first thing you say to him?
>are you now unemployed?
>explain the current state of the Imperium
I kneel before my mighty and beloved Primarch.
I wait for him to tell me my new role in the Chapter - probably second-in command, but even if he busts me down to being a regular Battle Brother in the 7th reserve Company (you know, the one with the shitty purple trim on its pauldrons), I'd still serve faithfully.
I have the Chief Librarian explain the state of the Imperium. I defend my own record in maintaining Ultramar as a bastion of sanity in this crazy ol Galaxy.
We bond over both being largely mechanical these days
>so then young Marneus, where did you get those impressive-looking powerfists from?
>uh, well I took them from the corpse of a Chaos-
>BLAM
This is sort of like being the Pope and then Jesus just fucking shows up one sunny afternoon
There's really no answer
Marneus these powerjockstraps need polishing. Get them done before eight bells. Me and my buddy Björn are going out.
Also what the hell are these "teranid things? They're delicious."
While you explain those fist things, tell me about exactly what these "Sisters of Battle are?"
That's my point user. It's insane if you're in Marneus's powerboots. Also
>GET THE FUCK OFF MY CHAIR MARNEUS
>what is the first thing you say to him?
"Daddy, why do you look like an action figure?"
>>are you now unemployed?
No, just demoted to Smurf Smithers.
>explain the current state of the Imperium
Probably just stammer something about how the UMs never bought into the Imperial Cult (because it's totally different if we just cross out the "God" next to Emperor and say he was just a great man, but do pretty much the same religious bullshit otherwise), and instead elevated the Codex Astartes to Bible status. You know, like Guilliman obviously intended. Obviously.
... Right?
You just know Marneus is going to get blamed for all this shit.
Didn't Rowboat take the Gauntlets though?
And remember, Chapter Masters apparently get exemptions from the "no Chaos artifacts" rule... for some reason that's never been explained (i.e. because GW writers thought it'd be cool to give them Chaos weapons, and ignored their own fluff in the process).
Well, it looks like Guilliman doesn't BLAM him for it, since their models both appear together in this pic. Still probably gets a stern talking to though.
Roboutes model appears to be equipped with at least one of the gauntlets, yes
I meant their origin. Roboute looted them from a Chaos Champion during the Scouring, Marneus wasn't the one to take them for the UMs.
And seeing as how Marneus still seems to have them in the pic I linked, Guilliman's bolter-fist may end up being something else. Apparently Cawl made his new armour, so he may have also made the fist as a copy of one of the Gauntlets.
Pic I linked here, I mean:
>Marneus! Where are my blu-rays?
"My liege, while I cannot say your arrival is unwelcome, it is a bit, well, unexpected."
"Of course, young Calegar. Many years have passed since my last battle, and I would imagine much has transpired. My sudden appearance was probably very far from your mind. But bring me up to speed, if you would. Have the rebellious Astartes been thoroughly stamped out?"
"No, sir. In fact, they just overran Cadia and have been causing havoc in that sector for years."
"By Terra! Surely mankind has never faced a greater threat."
"I'm afraid that's not true, my lord."
"What? What could possibly be worse than that?"
"Tyranids, sir."
"Tyra-what-now?"
"Tyranids. Space bugs. Vast swaths of them. Showed up out of nowhere about 300 years ago and started wrecking shit. Very nearly consumed this very planet, my liege. We've had to write a whole new chunk of the Codex specifically on dealing with them."
"Ah, the Codex, glad to hear you're still working on it. How many volumes have been added in my absence? Must be hundreds by now."
"Ummmm..."
"Marneus..."
"None sir. We haven't changed much, or well, anything at all in the last 10,000 years. Any time anyone tries to do something new, a bunch of pedantic traditionalists jump down their throat and say things are fine how they are."
"Even though they are obviously not fine."
"Obviously."
"Ooooooooh-kaaaaaayyyy. Get your officers together. We're going to start cleaning up, and we need to start in our own house. You still have some of my old wargear?"
"Yes, sir. Will you require an honor guard?"
"Not yet, Chapter Master. We'll see how the Company Captains react to my presence first."
more pls
Alfabusa go to bed
(I'm kidding keep going)
>what is the first thing you say to him?
'sup.
>are you now unemployed?
Well, I'm not on the front line so I guess I ain't.
>explain the current state of the Imperium
I will give him a blank stare, then repeat the previous line real slowly.
I misread the thread at first.
Realised that if I was a smurf I'd want to kill myself and this is faster than calling the commissar a wanker.
He totally is a wanker.
Fuck you commissar.
Except no, it's his pre-Heresy personal power fist that was already on FW model, Hand of Dominion.
Hey Marneus. What happened to all my jetbikes?
Strength of will nigga. There have always been those who can just tell Chaos to go suck a dick.
To be fair, they at least tried to explain the Axe of Morkai by saying that it was made from the original weapon is some way. I also sort of want to say there may be some breathing room, there being a difference between a normal weapon used by a Chaos champion and a weapon that is forged by Chaos.
Yeah, because changing shape slightly does anything about demons trapped inside or the whole warp corruption stored inside issue. It's in fact doubly stupid as space yiffs should have piles of relic wargear from the time they were actually a legion so looting corrupted shit would only make sense if logan was drawn to it one ring style. So, yeah, yiff is probably already corrupted by khorne, especially seeing his axe was extra strong against magic in the yiffzone fenris books....