Terrible DM Stories

Stories of shitty DM's, or campaigns. Bonus points for stories about players getting back at shitty DM's. I'll start.

>Be around 17
>Never played any Veeky Forums before, but always had a desire to try it out
>Learn that my buddy John runs a little group in our high school, ask if it's cool that if i watch
>Go to a session, try and be a good friend and bring them snacks. They like me, and ask me to join in next time they play a campaign.
>Few weeks later John invites me to join their new campaign
>It's a homebrew but it's fairly compatible with Pathfinder.
>Generic fantasy setting (orcs, elves, etc.).
>Pretty fun, go to the weekly sessions for about a month. Campaign is pretty good, it's us investigating the murder of a king and trying to stop a civil war
Then things get weird
>John basically forces us to explore some weird dungeon in the woods
>Makes no attempt to justify this action, or how it's related to us trying to stop a civil war
>Dungeon is full of low level enemies, it's clear he desperately wants us to succeed.
>We finally get to the treasure room, and in the middle is a pedestal with a golden urn on top
>John eggs me to picking it up, saying that it'd "fetch a hefty sum"
>I was new and dumb, so i picked it up. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a trap
>Gas started pumping out of the walls, and John described, in vivid detail, how our characters were morphing into what i assume were some furry OC's of his
>Party members get genderbent, too. Quite graphically, i might add. (Since i was female already, i was spared)
>The next few sessions got lewder and lewder, and every single goddamn time we failed a check (EVERY TIME) our minds got dumber and more feminine.
>By session 8, one of the party's characters was a ditzy bimbo fox girl.
>I bailed by session 9, saying that "i just didn't have the time anymore

Tl;dr: My DM magically realmed me into his weirdo furry-gender-swap-bimbo fetish

you should've punched him for being a faggot.

>Furries + magical realm

>Be DM
>life starts getting busy so i asked someone to take over for 3 weeks
>next Session he had a railroaded copy of the game nier
>he will not read the rules of 5e, has no idea what our characters can do, calls my bladelock op, and almost killed him with uncurable dc16 poison.
>havent been able to dm for the last 11 Sessions
>he gets pissy when another player and i are talking about shadowrun

The university club I attended for a year had a bunch of bad GM's. Not because they were inherently terrible at GM-ing itself, but because they showed massive levels of favouritism. Their friends got to bend or break the rules regarding behaviour, or the rules of the games they were playing (i.e most people had to obey the rules of character creation, while their friends got to just present whatever Mary Sue they wanted and they'd find a way to make it work within the rules). The club president came to my table to ask my group to quieten down, which we did, while they themselves were roaring and howling with laughter. I saw one GM Essentially yelling at a player about being too vigorous and excitable during a Larp, a complaint that rang hollow when this is the same GM who brags about the time he got so into acting his character that he put his foot through the wall.

>Brags about being so out of touch with reality that he put his foot through a wall.

I'm going to assume that it wasn't a wall he owned.

Worst of all, one of the party members was into it to and encouraged it

Bump

>Playing Curse of Strahd for the first time, our first session is in Death House. Small party, only 4 of us.
>Half elf, Half Orc, Dwarf and Human (Me)
>Half Elf opens secret room in the study and also flagrantly reminds us that he's played and run this dungeon before
>Snatches the Letter from Strahd and refuses to show anybody
>Gets mad when my character won't believe that it's a "Letter [He's] had since the beginning!"
>My character has 16 Int and 16 Wis. We don't let players make deception rolls or such against each other
>DM rules in his favor that I wouldn't know

This isn't so much harping on the player because I found out later in the campaign that he had a reason for snatching the letter, and he showed it to us all later anyway. Still mad at the DM for that ruling, though. No check or anything. I guess this is less of a "How my campaign was ruined" story and more of a "my DM sometimes gets under mys skin" story. He's done more in the same vein and the campaign isn't even close to finished yet.

>party arrives in new world as part of a colony
>sent out to look for metal ore
>find dungeon
>find descending platform made of metal
>decide to chip some off to investigate
"The metal is invincible. Your chisel breaks."
>this sucks, but okay
>mend the chisel
>decide to look at the handrail
>same metal
>descend into dungeon
>lots of metal doors
>same metal, which we dub "plot-anium"
>find a chain mechanism
>plotainum
>find the box the mechanism runs through
>plotanium
>find metal bookshelf
>plotanium
>find jail with metal bars on the cells
>mfw the bars are FUCKING IRON

Left that campaign soon after. Nothing made sense, and there were 8 players.

>be player
>at uni
>dm forming a group of people, see some qt girls in there and decide to join
>never played before, but hey who knows if these babes are here there might be a reason for it
>gm goes on about some stupid shit about elven blades and rings and orbs or some shit, i dont really follow or care
>wind up playing a half elf ranger, cn
>dump all my points into charisma, start hitting on the babes
>dm gets pissy when i wont take his quest hooks because 1 they aint what my character would do and 2 hes trying to cock block me
>get so fed up with this stupid halfling kid trying to get me to help his momma who went to kill rats in a cellar that I rapidshot two arrows in his face
>NAT. FUCKING. 20.
>afterwards find his mom anyway to impress the qt grills and dm says shes actually a zombie
>she starts talking so im like oh shit she can hear us and understand and hes like yeah shes smart
>roll to seduce, get nat 20, next thing dm is getting mad at the table saying how charisma and intimidate is so overpowered and how it has no use in a system like 3.6
>ask him what the fuck is 3.6
>"my homebrew version that builds off 3.5, fixing the mistakes that gygax made like making wizards so powerful"
>threatens to nerf charisma based abilities if I dont stop
>i threaten to fuck his mom in response
>he's visibly steaming at this point
>more steamed than steamed carrots in a rice cooker
>tell him "aight senpai have fun fappin off to your pretend playdate later"
>get up and leave, give the girls gentle tugs on their bras to let them know its time to go
>stroll out backwards on my wheelies as I finish, "dont hate the playa, hate the game"

>>the bars are FUCKING IRON

>same campaign, earlier
>on the ship to the new world
>worms infest the food of one of the five ships
>chuck that trash overboard
>evenly divide the remaining 4 ships' rations among all 5
>druid starts calling in fish from miles around for food
>4 weeks to land
>only have 2 weeks of rations
>we suggest 1/2 rations
"Okay, that buys you 3 days."
>wait no
>1/2 rations doubles the food supply
"You were already sort of on 1/2 rations"
>wait what
>even with the fishing?
"It's not helping that much"
>twenty minute discussion about this
>do the math
>carry my units
>show that if we go to half rations, we ABSOLUTELY have enough food
"Alright, I guess that works."

>Didn't know about pnp roleplaying games
>Talk to some guys from school who just started playing
>They tell me about their characters and what they can do
"Holy shit! This sounds awesome! I gotta get in on this.
>Roll up a monk character that's an expert climber
>The DM is railroading us like fuck. Even as newcommers we knew he was playing it wrong
>Everytime anyone tried to do his own thing a guard instantly appeared and killed the character even though he didn't do anything illegal
>We bitch, the GM bitches back
>The GM takes control of our characters more and more
>Eventually he's basically playing a campaign by himself and we're just onlookers that gets to guess the right answer for his questions. If we chose an answer that he didn't agree with he kills us off.
>It lasted 3 sessions before we stopped coming
>A couple of years later I ask the GM about this and he tells me that he finished the campaign all by himself...

On that same vein
>GMs that big down sessions with lots of chatter about rations and shit.

>A couple of years later I ask the GM about this and he tells me that he finished the campaign all by himself...

Did he even see what was so messed up about that, or did he said it with pride?

10/10

How is it even possible to play a game by yourself?

By having headmates.

This has been tough to write because I don't even know where to start, The GM himself, the setting he made, the shit I had to deal with after he named me 'Co-GM', or how it all came crashing down. So I suppose I'll start with the GM, who I'll refer to as 'doodles'.

The reason I call him doodles is because he often, badly, tries to draw giant robots that look more looks notebook doodles. They are also often just rip offs of gundams as the provided doodle is.

now Doodles knew I loved giant robots, so he thought I would be happy to Co-GM for him. The process went something like this:

>"Hey want to be my Co-GM?"
"give me a little time to think on it I'm not sure-"
>"Great! I'm starting the RP tomorrow, I look forward to seeing you there."

Doodles then went and did just that, and like an idiot who is blinded by love for all things mechanical, I went with it instead of telling him to fuck off.

What doodles never informed me, is that as Co-GM I apparently had to do all the shit work like dealing with complaints from players, checking characters to make sure they weren't mary sues/over powered, and generally trying to make the day to day interesting while doodles barked at me over Private messages. Meanwhile doodles himself just sat back and did lore building, and man did he build some lore I will never forget.

oh, I am intrigued. do go on.

>be in a party with 3 other friends
>playing Pathfinder campaign with a crack-addicted GM
>has been off it for about 3 months, clearly showing withdraw symptoms
>playing as male Deep One sorcerer
>rest of the party is a male Dwarf paladin, a female Elf rogue, and a male human bard
>we're all level 7 at the time, defeated first boss
>on way to fight second boss who stole a book on Eldritch creatures and how to fight them
>enter cave where it is, fight some abominations on the way
>whole party reaction when we see the boss:
"Jesus fucking Christ"
>mfw it's a fucking drakainia
>we have no hope whatsoever to beat this thing
>preparing to die
>lightbulb.jpg
>I tackle my entire party, since I, being a deep one, am the largest
>cast greater teleportation to the cave mouth
>teleport whole party there
>rogue has a bunch of explosives the bard bought
>use them to cave in the entrance, sealing it
>GM rages hard and runs out of the room
>literally have no idea why he's doing this
>never see him again
>later learn that same night he started doing crack again and got sent to rehab
>to this day I have no idea why he reacted this way, whether he was going to go magical realm on us or was just going to make us suffer

Fake and gay

>mfw Goodberry

>Be 16
>Wanna play a Veeky Forums
>Highschool club has this
>It's a basic enough homebrew system that allows infinite flexibility at GM discretion
>Roll up a badly made spellblade type (essentially a Tiefling)
>Bad backstory, but greatest fault being in-game he was boring, so that's ok-ish
>Buddy makes a solid graverobber that's w/ Corvo's mask
>We're both mercs, because that's easy to put into most high fantasy settings
>Other buddy makes missionary from the mountain steppes
That fucking guy though
>Return character
>Dragonborn
>Parents/family dead
>Child solider (at 4)
>Best solider his captors had (at 8)
>Killed his captors (read; warlord's) son(at 10), slaughtered many of his men,escaped, is now on the run from assassins
>Has super awesome blade he himself made while serving in a nation's armies and becoming an expert smith on the side
>A hero of the nation who we're serving
>A "general" (in the rpg character you play in videa sense) of this nations armies
>But also a Justicar too(like Mass Effect)
>Has magic scales on top his scales made of space metal that a necromancer fused to him as a reward for some deed done
>His ambition? Brainwash/convert enough people to make their belief ascend him to godhood, then kill all other gods to be the only one left

What's the DMs fault? Well he ok'd this all in the blink of an eye, and even made him our party leader because he was more "experienced" in roleplaying. And went along with all the other bs that guy started. Me and Corvo dropped out in 5 sessions, Missionary left in 2.

I have a good feeling about this one. Go on.

Did the GM ever get better?

>I can go on, but the backstory speaks for itself.

Please go on. Tell us that at the very least you took the piss out of the captors for their "best" being an eight year old.

>Threatens to nerf Charisma-based abilities if I don't stop
>I threaten to fuck his mom in response

FUCKING KEK

So since I've covered doodles, let me cover his setting.

This was a massive cross over style RP, the kind weebs, like myself, end up going crazy over. It was also a massive cluster fuck from the beginning.

See the setting was supposed to take place in the Andromeda galaxy because apparently the black hole at the center of the Milky Way had started acting up and began consuming the galaxy. While stupid, this was a super robot RP so some stupid is to be expected.

Now once already over in the Andromeda galaxy, there turned out to be 3 generic factions that anyone familiar with gundam would instantly be able to identify. There was the federation, an empire of slug people that were nazis (Zeon), and a corporation that played to both sides for their own profits made up of dragon people that doodle so helpfully drew for us.

Now the dragon people have a creepy back story in regards to why doodle included them. He told me that they were going to have been artificially created sex slaves, made by an ancient civilization that wanted to bone lizards or something. He never went through with it or at least never actually brought it up to the other players thankfully.

Now while frankly I'm fine with creepy back stories and dark stuff, doodles was uncomfortable obsessed with dragon sex slaves hence why I mentioned this.

The other thing is that doodles was a complete and utter jellyfish, meaning the setting could never be nailed down. If someone wanted to be play Helghast from killzone, suddenly Helghan existed, if someone wanted to played Garrus from mass effect despite the fact that it was not one of the series originally we intended to include, then suddenly the reaper wars had become a major point of back story. Doodles authorized anything players would demand in order to keep from being yelled at (more to come)

Jesus fuck. Some GMs really should just write a damn book and stop shitting up the tabletop.

I've shared this story on Veeky Forums before, but here goes.
>Just finished DMing highly successful campaign throughout Fall semester at uni
>One of my players announces his plans to run a game next semester
>His sister (who I had recently started dating, now married) tells me that he spent all three months of Winter Break holed up in his bedroom planning and building his campaign
>Not sure how to feel about this
>It's a game centered around Yuan-Ti
>FB group page mentions some central characters like Horace the Hospitalier and this priestess
>Game opens with us perfect strangers at a castle town parade
>Temple is under siege by Yuan-Ti
>Brave heroes are immune to bystander effect and leap into action
>There's something like 2 dozen Yuan-Ti
>Rolling initiative takes forever
>Turn cycle takes forever
>Turn cycle is tedious and frustrating, especially when your attack misses
>We slog through the fight and enter the temple
>MORE Yuan-Ti
>On the far side of the room is a Yuan-Ti high priest prepping to ritually sacrifice the temple priestess
>Party Cleric casts Zone of Silence to stop the ritual
>DM is confused
>Cleric explains that spells require verbal components, ergo lack of sound would prevent ritual
>10 minute debate on rules
>DM invokes Rule 0 to say that Zone of Silence does not interrupt the ritual, gotta fight your way through
>One round of combat before a dagger gets plunged into the priestess
>DM: Shit, wasn't prepared for this
>allmywut.jpg
>After the fight, DM wonders how to salvage the campaign after the death of this vital character
>Finds some Martyred Ghost prestige class during the week and announces that the campaign can in fact progress
>Get summoned to see the king
>Cleric uses commune to ask his God 20 Yes/No questions
>We figure out in less than 10 questions that the king let the Yuan-Ti in to pillage and kill
To be continued

Your cleric sure had a helpful god

I was playing a superhero campaign and when i tried to interrogate a prisoner she attacked me with superpowers because the dm thought i was going to rape her.

Its mostly insulting.

>While shopping, a Monty Python-esque old woman warns me that there is more to the king's audience than appears
>"Thanks lady, already figured that out."
>King is "troubled by these developments" and dispatches us to find... the 4 elemental crystals scattered throughout the land
>Cleric uses spell to ask his God what his next course of action should be
>"...I think you should HUMOR the king."
CHOO-CHOO!
>Campaign as a whole is a slog
>DM shows EXTREME favoritism against one player that he's had it out for
>At one point while resting, we all receive a dream of what is to happen if we fail
>Graphic depictions of groups of Yuan-Ti gang-raping "girls who have not yet come of age"
>Not the first or last time this dude magic realms Yuan-Ti rape
>After getting the 4 crystals that form into one big, black crystal for... reasons, we are informed that have been sent on a fool's errand
>Really now
>Boss enemy uses instant-kill attack on the player the DM dislikes
>A helpful deity teleports us right outside the castle gates
>The castle guards are apparently under orders to attack us on sight
>Paladin says he wants to Diplomacy
>DM says he can't. It doesn't fail, he just can't Diplomacy
>Gate slams shut that won't open until all the guards are dead
>Cleric teleports the party to the other side
>thuglife.jpg
>Get to the massive throne room
>King is stroking his beard
>Tells us we've been tricked
>He was secretly evil all along
>He was the one that let the Yuan-Ti into the city
>Knowing we were onto him, he sent us on a fool's errand to get killed
>"Several Yuan-Ti tribes jump in through the windows"
>200 Yuan-Ti show up
>TWO-GODDAMNED-HUNDRED
>DM rolls initiative for every single one
>This takes 30 minutes of us pleading him to stop and us coming up with several fool-proof ways to kill them all quickly
>Like using the FRIENDLY DRAGON that just showed up
>We start leaving
>"Okay, okay, the dragon incinerates them."
>Here's the throne. The end.

man, that last post had worse grammar than my first grade writing assignments. Sorry for those of you that read it.

Anyway, to continue doodle being a jellyfish, he couldn't stand by the fact the game was supposed to be set in the far future in which everyone from the past series was deader than Elvis. If someone wanted to play a character from a series, then Doodles would just magic up a negative time sphincter and poof they'd appear with the other PCs after being shat out by reality itself.

oh before I forget, the protags were called stardust crusaders because doodles was a jojo fan.

Now this was just the setting, but when doodle started working on the plot, shit somehow even went further downhill.

see doodle wanted to treat the game more like an anime, where it's divided into seasons which are divided into episodes. So instead of making one plot and ensuring we even go through that, he decided to make 3 different plots and set them one after another even though the final fight of 'season one' would have involved a titanic throw down with a machine capable of remaking the universe being controlled by creatures from before the birth of the current universe. Yes doodles actually intended to go beyond this instead of just considering it a satisfactory ending.

The 'second season' would have basically been a rip off of zeta gundam where suddenly the federation is now evil.

The 'third season' would have involved the revelation that there was a force behind the milky way galaxy getting eaten by its own black hole. And the force behind it would have looked like the gundam girl in the provided pic. The ultimate evil was doodle's wet dream.

>That DM who had one really awesome campaign and has been rehashing it ever since.

I don't think so.

>tfw

...

>Go over to friends for sleepover 15 years ago
>They all play DnD
>I've never played
>DM says just have fun
>Decide to make a goofy character
>Dm looks at my sheet when I'm done
>"You know, if you aren't going to take this seriously why are you even playing?"
>mfw

>The ultimate evil was doodle's wet dream.

He wanted to set up a /d/-tier story?

>the 4 elemental crystals scattered throughout the land
I know it was supposed to be a "fool's errand" but even that is so stupidly unoriginal it's not even slightly funny or intriguing.

I'd call him out on it personally but I don't know your situation, might be your only group or you'd alienate your friends with it.

>"Hmm, what should of trap should I place in order to protect my treasure?"
>"Should lifting the golden urn activate poison darts that rot away the thief's flesh? Nah"
>"What about a trap floor that leads to spiked floor? Too cliche."
>"How about it triggers a magical fireball that would kill them and the rest of their party? Meh, kinda boring."
>"Ooh, what about a hidden door that opens to reveal a platoon of flesh hungry zombies and vicious armored skeletons?"
>"Wait I got it"
>"A magical gas that-get this-turns them into female anthropomorphic animals?"
>"Fucking brilliant."

WIZARDS
NO SENSE OF RIGHT OR WRONG

Honestly, at this point I think he might have. Which is even worse heresy because he tried to taint mecha with his fetishes. He's apparently done weird shit in other RPs as well but that's for another storytime since he was just a player in those.

to round off my little story to myself, and for my friends who convinced me to post this

I ended up killing that RP, because once Doodle told me everything I realized that he could not be allowed to continue to force me to run it.

So one day, I decided to give the players a challenge. And by challenge I mean a black hole spamming super robot known as the Neo-Granzon.

Was it extremely dickish, yes, but it was also effective. In game his stats were high enough to pretty much tank anything the players could dish out and then One Hit Kill them in return. No one actually died from it, but everyone bitched at how a challenge that was clearly above their level had been sent at them and they started to leave and slowly drained out over two weeks. Doodle's dream of a company ran by dragon sex slaves supplying weapons to an empire of nazi space slugs died with a whimper and I ended up getting painted as an awful GM due to how big an asshole I acted during this, but it is worth it in my opinion.

OP here.The worst part about that dungeon was that it had literally NOTHING to do with the plot. Before that, we were in a city following clues and leads and interrogating people. but one day he just makes our characters march out to get TF'd into his wet dream.

Im actually upset because before that moment, the campaign was going pretty well. He kept the plot fairly interesting, gave every character some moral grey area so they wouldn't be generic villains, and prevented anyone in the party from going murderhobo without overstretching his bounds as DM. But he ruined it.

Does that mech have a hand coming out of its hand?

That sounds hot as fuck and I would play it but that dm deserves to be shot in the street for foisting that onto unwilling people.

thank you for pointing that out to me, I try not to look at doodle's art work too much otherwise it might hurt my brain. But indeed it does, not to mention the suit itself is pretty much a ripoff of something from ratchet and clank.

>Many hands
>knowing doodles /d/ tendencies
>mfw

it really does, fug

I've got a story that was so bad I had extreme fun with his game.
>playing Carthian in VtR
>ST is a complete noob
>no sense of scale and no understanding of the XP value in the system
>have amassed 40xp by session 3
>dump all of it to get various Allies Merits and max out Status and Allies (Carthians)
>next session I call for an election against the Carthian leader that nobody likes
>nobody votes for him, probably not even his own self
>the session's plot is "stop the bad guy having a war meeting"
>instruct my Carthian horde to start demonstrations around the block where he is
>ask my police contacts to send a swat team because there are armed terrorists in the building
>ask my criminal friends to put bombs in the bad guys' masquerade violating limos
>go out with the hunting club to shoot ravens, since he can also transform into one
>mfw I just out-keikaku'd the "main villain" four sessions in alone
>mfw we all got 30xp from that madhouse show

He cancelled the game after that.

You're doing God-emperor's work, user.

Hail the victorious martyr! We are not deserving of one such as you.

A lot of forever DMs are the socially awkward type who are always the butt of jokes. This experience removes their fear of trying new things and failing because they'll be laughed at either way.

If it turns out that they happen to be good at GMing they use it to enhance their position in the pack. Not much, but enough to at least be on equal terms with someone else. Their new found popularity makes them katow more and more to their friends because they don't know how to say no.

Eventually they find themselves in a position of authority and have no idea what to do with it or how to use it, so they interject inappropriately or take heavy handed approaches.

At this point their personality is so terrible that their only hope of even a pseudo friendship is by letting his friends walk all over him and keeping them interested in his small domain of power so he bends the rules more and more. The worst part of this personality change is telling stories like the foot through a wall thing which are not interesting, funny or relevant, but he assumes people like it because when he tells his friends they laugh really hard so he feels valuable and keeps letting them bend the rules. This is how you get the confident neckbeard type who says things like "I don't care about social norms" or "I don't care if you don't like me because I tell the truth."

They are often going prematurely bald too. Like almost always. It's weird.

I once read one of those fantasy novels that you can tell are clearl just someone's campaign written down.

The part that really gave it away was a point in a fight where a character crafted a crude bolo in a fight and threw it at the monster "to no effect."
It didn't matter of effect anything, so in a narrative sorry it shouldn't have been there, but you could tell it was there because a player had done it in the game.

The best part is that it didn't say bolo, it said "a crude bolero" so one can presume the monster stopped to try it on and then resumed its rampage/

Bitch please the nitty gritty of the mathematics is why I play.

>Be me
>Be finishing up our last quest
>Is finish
>So, my friend says "Hey, could I do a homebrew quest which I made"
>I said umm.... sure
>After a week we meet up and he says to roll up our charecters
>I see some minis behind his screen
>It is fucking steve from minecraft
>Realize we were playing a minecraft quest
>Oh shit
>Not that I hate minecraft or anything of that sort, it just was... cringe
>I could have left, but he was a childhood friend
>So we basically craft wood, literally fucking murder zombies and sheit
>We went to the end and got dragons and shit like that and crafted diamond swords
>Eventually it got so monotonous and cringey (i.e. getting turned into enderman and becoming furries) that I had my charecter commit suicide and everyone else did.
>Now we're doing traveller. With me as the DM

You should never play a game where you have to get weaker every failed check.

If you want to be a bimbo furry just play a bimbo furry in a sex game. Or at least be a alchemist and that is what your mutagen does or something to get the tf kinkery.

But I mean, if i get a abbility drain every time i fail and im a wizard it means my abbility to play the game decreases if i play the game.

Nothing like committing mass spite suicide.

Yeah. I mean, he was a nice guy but he absolutely sucked at DMing.

Don't get me wrong I think that mass spite suicide is a great response to people taking you to their magical autism realm and bringing furries into things.
It's just you could have asked him to stop and discussed why you and everyone else wasn't enjoying it if you thought he was that nice a guy but you didn't.

Only real notable terrible GM I've had, kinda shows how lucky I've been.
>Our DM is a massive jojofag
>Would constantly fill our sessions with references and nods to it
>Would spend upwards of 5 minutes describing these weird poses and then spend 1 describing the room
>Almost constant pic fucking related
>Spammed summoners and the like to the ninth degree
>At least one sunlight powered monk and vampire per game
>Had to put our foot down once and call him out on the sunlight monk in Call of Cthulu (that was an utter shitshow)
>Also had to explain how vampire’s worked it 5e since he was basing them off that bloody animu
>Insists on playing some sort of JoJo reference whenever he’s a player, complains when we shoot him down on it.
>Took a while for the players to get up the nerve to call him out on his faggotry
>I admittedly was doing very little to stop him when I was probably the only one he’d listen to
>Thanfully took our criticism on board and has toned it down massively
He’s been steadily improving since, even if he's still a one note kind of GM (he tends to do the same story with minor alterations depending on the setting), here’s hoping he doesn’t start obsessing on something else.

Weren't parts of Malazean played by Erikson and the other guy? Obviously he didn't just transcribe the play session and call it a novel but it has its roots in a GURPS(?) session.

>it's

>stroll out backwards on my wheelies as I finish, "dont hate the playa, hate the game"
If only you had written Heelys, this would have been perfect.

imagine a campaign where the gm in a rogue trader game allows a player to play what is basically a furry in power armor and wield a power fist.

me and another guy spent 6 sessions just to set up a situation where they would fall into an industrial garbage shredder which led into an incinerator which led to a grox food pellet planet which led to them getting shit out of said grox.

mind you this wasnt late game, this was session one starting they had all this gear.

So you had a Lone Wolf doing a ride-along? Doesn't sound too bad.

Nice. How'd you do it? How'd everyone react?

The term "aggressively furry" doesn't even begin to describe them. They also literally had their dad come to the game session to try to threaten me into saying "lol i was just kidding."

I made a very long and bullshit 'presentation' about how we could expand our wealth if we organized a takeover of local agricultural feed for the surrounding sectors. two sessions later we find the appropriate planet, mechanicus buddy had been tinkering with furry fuckbot900's armor and basically turned it off right on the ledge over an industrial shredder. shredder bins led to an incinerator, the ash from the incinerator was used as filler in grox feed, grox eat the furry and leave them and their armor as a steaming pile of shit.

Okay, so... was he playing a Space Wolf, or some kind of horrible Abhuman mistake, or what? Serious question, no meming.

Please tell me more about the mental changes.

I found the DM!

I too wish to hear.
did you record the audio of his description?

OP here. They started out really simple. First time it happened was when our barbarian (now a lithe cat girl with huge tits) failed a perception check, and instead of checking out the whole room we were in, just got focused on a single shiny gold coin in the corner and started giggling before their character "brought themselves back to reality".

After that came an intimidation check that i failed, and as such "felt an overwhelming urge to feel the man's cock" in my mouth and had to roll a will check to prevent myself from blowing the guy

Then there was when the cleric rolled for knowledge on how to lift the curse, failed, and had their mind assaulted with thoughts like "i want to stay a girl!", "i wanna be pretty!", and "i want cock!".

All these stupid changes continued throughout the game. Every time the wizard wanted to do ANYTHING magical, he had to roll a will check to fight off the other voice in his head, my character ended up sucking five dicks over the next few sessions because i failed more checks, and the barbarian had to roll for will every time they saw something shiny

*cleric, not the wizard. The wizard quit as soon as he got genderbent

...

sounds hot, but I'm not going to ask you for more details. I get that it's probably uncomfortable for ya.

I won't go into details but i'll share more things that happened.

I failed a strength test and from then was forced to make a pouty face and get a man to do whatever i was rolling strength for. Made combat nigh impossible

Barbarian lost a will check when we wear walking through a clothing store (don't know why ken existed in the setting) cuz they saw something shiny, and was forced to take off all their clothing and wear a pink dress, heels, and hoop earrings forever

See, that guy had the right idea.
Nobody should have to play somebodies wet dream against their will

I'd have GG'd after the GM tried to get me to suck a dick.
Come on man.

I'm a girl, wasn't that big of a deal for me. didn't like him making my character a slut but it wasn't repulsive

You have a impressive mental constitution then.

I'm as much a disgusting fetishist as the next basement dweller but I'd have been pissy just on the idea that I HAD to do this.

Magical realms should be ENTERED not PUSHED TO.

Also I'd have atleast wanted benefits to being forced to be a cocsucker. If you need a strongman around constantly, atleast throw a malerem based leadership feat in there for free.