Meanwhile, on the Wheel of Veeky Forums

Perrin was always built like a brick shithouse. The blacksmithing helped build on the foundation that was already there. Rand is canonically tallest. Mat is best. That is all.

I love it anyway. Retarded cast and all.

QUICKLY RUFFLE MY SKIRTS!

ITS BEEN PAGES AND PAGES!

Mat is a shit. A SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

The Mat one made me laugh. Also, Avienda a best. Fight me all you Min and Elayne loving faggots.

What kind of faggot are you not to recognize the stupendous glory of Mat?

Kind of had the same, but it was a mixed game. So my Wilder was playing with what amounted to a gatling gun with a dwarf to carry it around, and none of us knew where we were or what was happening. We didn't really give our systems a chance, it was just something short and quirky. I do recall that concentration boosters being more plentiful was dearly desirable, and that Air was glorious.

Hey Veeky Forums, I recently discovered that I'm able to channel (m). How do I avoid going crazy for as long as possible, and how do I not get captured and gentled by the Red Ajah?

Remember when we were all hyped for the TV premiere?

>Hey Veeky Forums, I recently discovered that I'm able to channel (m). How do I avoid going crazy for as long as possible, and how do I not get captured and gentled by the Red Ajah?

Step 1: HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY'RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU RUUUUUUUN
Step 2: You're still here, that's a good sign.
Step 3: Don't listen to the voices.
Step 4: Women are just inherently bad in your universe. Not your fault, the author had some issues with his Mom. Regardless, don't trust anyone with tits.
Step 5: Actually, make that "don't trust anyone at all", cos basically everyone is going to at least semi-betray you.
Step 6: Assuming you ignored Step 5, pick a bunch of people you trust and TALK TO THEM REGULARLY. Discuss tactics, the war against the Shadow, and your feelings regarding international politics. Do not spend 20 pages making small talk then leave when a fight breaks out just before you get to the fucking point.
Step 7: Cairhieners are cunts. Like, all of them. So are Seanchan. Let them kill each other.
Step 8: Hide in the woods as much as possible. It's unlikely the wolves will come after you (because they can smell your talent), they keep the Darkspawn out, and you're unlikely to hurt someone when you go batshit crazy.
Step 9: Speaking of which, I said DON'T LISTEN TO THE VOICES
Step 10: AAAARRRGHHHH MY FAAAAAAACCCCEEE

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>wardercurious

No.

Moiraine a best.

Wrong
they're equally good

Don't forget to tug that braid.

Nice and slow

I am willing to accept your compromise.

Thread theme
youtube.com/watch?v=5jiHPTkm0Js

...

Wow, how can one person be so fucking wrong?

youtube.com/watch?v=CNnhhejBkW8

I can respect that.

That's it. I've been trying to figure out why I can't like these books; it's cause no one likes each other.

Mat is the best. This is True.

>Mat is a shit.
This is also true. Thing about best is it's relative.

Superior
youtube.com/watch?v=0WXeHT661xM

Undeniably good, but WoT is still better.

I think what was most disappointing was how Padan Fain turned out to be fucking NOTHING. Surely they wouldn't have a villain skulking around all the way from the first book, have a rise to power and new mysterious powers that in ways are rival to the Shadow and not do anything with him! Surely! But no. Hungry evil fog works on chickenpox rules for some reason.

He was only ever a meaningless distraction. A Cobra Commander to every so off, pop up, do something vaguely evil, cackle and run away to do seemingly nothing of note. Then when he finally seems to be doing something he gets killed off abruptly and unceremoniously. I want my time I spent reading those books back.

>0/10, did not tug braid
That's how I know you aren't really mad

Tell me about Fain, why does he carry the dagger?

He was intended to be a Gollum equivalent, but Jordan is no Tolkien so he fucked it up

Just started playing in a Wheel of Time PF campaign. One session down, and zero braid-pulling. We're all going to die.

Fain suffered from fandom, he was a great reoccurring thorn and nothing more but he was very popular.

Or cross your arms under your breasts.

Finally, somebody else besides me.

Elayne is so fucking annoying, and Min would fit Mat WAAAYYY better.

AND PERRIN SHOULD HAVE JUST MARRIED BERELAIN AND HAD DONE, ROBERT. It's not like multiple marriage is frowned upon in WoT.

Perrin is gud boy. He wouldn't do such lewdness

>It's not like multiple marriage is frowned upon in WoT.
It's frowned upon outside Aiel culture

>Elayne is so fucking annoying
user, all the women are annoying

That's why I have a love hate relationship with them honestly. I mean there is some really good stuff, but every single fucking character hates every other character and assumes that everyone but themselves is retarded. It's like the default state if everyone in universe, and it pissed me the fuck off.

I loved Mat, but I also loved to see him suffer because he almost always deserved it for being a little shit.

I feel like it was some kind of statement about the alien nature of the opposite gender but went horribly overboard

Authors have ticks. Take King for example: in the majority of his books, religious people are overwhelmingly small minded and violent, whereas members of academia are fonts of wisdom and virtue. This makes sense given that King grew up in bumfuck Maine, where small towns can include small minded people and he always looked back with great fondness at his time at U of Maine. CS Lewis does something similar: small town folk are always cheerful, good, and full of uncomplicated wisdom. That's an artifact of his relationship with his nanny, or some such, from when he was younger. She grew up in country England and she was by his account just awesome.

So look now at Jordan, who has a very particular way of approaching interaction between men and women specifically and people in general. Given that WoT was his one big work, we may never know if what I'm supposing is true, but it's likely just a tick of his given events in his life.

Here's an idea:

Stop using the term "BBEG", you Redditor.

memes/10

>fugging and breeding two qt's
That's doing the world a favor, m8. Think of how awesome the kids would be.

Rand is the manwhore, Perrin is for twue wuv

>Mat is the manwhore, Perrin is for twue wuv, and Rand is the unwilling harem hero
FTFY

Eh Mat settles down eventually.

Was there anyone else who was pissed with the conclusion as far as Rand goes? I wish they'd had the balls to actually kill him.

Only because destiny told him to and no one really has free will in these books

okay, going through the list.

Step 1: ALREADY DOING THAT, NEVER STOPPED RUUUNNNNIIIIINGG in the first place.
Step 2: Existance? Check. I think.
Step 3: Trying...but sometimes I can't tell which thoughts are my own and which aren't.
Step 4: Goes without saying, in this and any other universe
Step 5: BUT THE VOICES SAY I CAN'T TRUST ANYONE. I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED NOT TO LISTEN TO THEM!?
Step 6: What tactics? I'm not fighting a war against anyone, don't know what I'm supposed to do against the shadow, and I don't like politics.
Step 7: I'm Cairhien, you Andorian bitch! You're completely right of course.
Step 8: Okay. Hiding in the Woods now.
Step 9: NO NO NO GO AWAY I'M TRYING!
Step 10: DIE DIE DIE DIE SCORCH THE EARTH SCORCH THE EARTH EVERYONE HAS TO DIE!

If you survive you get some long term health benefits at least.

What is this information based on? I'm genuinely curious. FC's clearly live for a very long time, so it makes sense, though.

I JUST WANT TO DIE! KILL ME! DIE DIE IT BURNS DIE SCORCH THE EARTH DIE KILL ME!

Elayne, however, is only surpassed in her sheer grating awfulness by Nynaeve.

Moiraine a best, because Moiraine's not fucking neurotic like literally every other character.

Jordans notes, they contain rankings of channelers. Was published in a companion whose exact title I can't remember.

OK, it is literally called "The Wheel of Time Companion". Here is were I pulled the info from.

tor.com/2015/10/27/the-wheel-of-time-companion-strength-chart-of-major-channelers/

Includes characters ranked by strength.

...

That's some really cool shit. Thank you, user.

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Hi Veeky Forums i'm having a little trouble taming my damane, she's too willfull. Any suggestions?

(it's braid has been tugged but that seems to be ineffectual.)

Daily reminder to remove Seanchean

REEEE remember the oaths!

This. The true heirs of Hawkwing are the Andor.

If Siuan and Leane were to be stilled again and healed by a man, would they have been restored to their initial strength in the OP?

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Greetings! Did you know we have this stone nearby with a lot of vines and leaves intricately emblazoned upon it? Come take a look, maybe you'll know what it's for! Why yes, there are three young men in this village born around that time, funny you should ask.

>Moiraine a best, because Moiraine's not fucking neurotic like literally every other character.
I would argue that moraine is neurotic, but that her neuroses tend more towards the "I'm going to save this stupid fucking world in spite of all you stupid assholes"

If that combination of drive, competence, and cynicism doesn't get you hard, I don't know what to say to you.

>removing the only fuckers in the setting with coffee
Yeah, fuck that. I'll let the setting burn before I wipe coffee out.

Also, the collaring thing is hot.

Except Aiel Wise Ones, they're base, insult Aes Sedai, and don't afraid of anything.

It's just a shame that Egwene only adapted their worst traits, and refused to learn anything.

Is it weird I felt they were the only likable group of people aside from the Borderlanders? Also, was it me, or were their women (aside from Aviendha) the only ones who were bearable at all (aside from Min, who is a perfect cinnamon bun)

Saldaean women were pretty awesome too.

The wise women had their annoying moments, they annoyed me more than any Aes Sedai.

>Have to save the world, be aware of that, time is crucial
>joined up with allies
>agreed on course of action
>stall the knowledge transfer and cooperation for months for no reason but to make a vain point
>Aes Sedai do meaningless busy work for them and do so completely humble.
>Another few month of doing maid stuff, because they arbitrarily decide that their trainees aren't ready.
>Ahh, we so wise, u know nothing because we wont tell you

Wise masters that don't do any education are my pet peeve.

Y'know, considering much women tend to be in riverside positions in WoT, and how the one country that is culturally dominated by men is a backwards shithole ran by the Whitecloaks, maybe Jordan doesn't hate women, but rather consensual femdom is his fetish!

I didn't get the impression Amadicia is a shithole.

It's basically the opposite though. Everyone likes each other, but no one trusts each other.

It is understandable why nobody trusts the guy who could incinerate everyone and is prophesied to go mad.

>>Ahh, we so wise, u know nothing because we wont tell you
To be fair, the Aes Sedai are even worse at that.

Plus, at least the wise women are smart enough and respectful enough to not look down on all men as inferior like Aes Sedai do, and tend to actually let the chieftains actually do their jobs

Plus, nearly every encounter between them and the actual Aes Sedai is the magic bites trying to showcase and demand unquestioning subservience, and the Wise Ones going "bitch nigga u srs?"

Plus, at least they know we'll enough as well not to order and control Rand around, and let him do his job as the Chosen One while minimizing collateral

I dunno, I guess the fact the Wise Ones kinda remind me of my female family members, and the Aes Sedai remind me of the first grade teacher who threatened to "beat the devil out of me" for writing with my left hand may have me a bit biased.

>every single fucking character hates every other character and assumes that everyone but themselves is retarded

The opposite is true of Perrin, Mat, and Rand, though - they're always saying "if only [one of the other guys was here, they'd know what to do better than I do]".

They are at least widely acknowledged to be an intrigue filled snake pit and have the rather dubious benefit of being heavily infiltrated by black Ajah working against any progress.

Considering the whole place is full of Red Scare levels of paranoia, cultural and international ignorance, ruled through fear by a tyrannical parody of the Spanish Inquisition, and is a place where even whispers and baseless accusations about being a Darkfriend can get you sent to the Confessors, yeah it's a shithole, and is considered as such by nearly everyone in universe who isn't from there or follows their puritanical philosophy

That is until Rand finally embraces being the dragon and starts going "Everyone quite being retarded and help me save the world!"

>pipe

Seriously what the fuck was that?

I guess he retained the ability to use Creator-power, after his fight with Moridin?

I want to marry Aviendha!

...

Seriously? I was reading that scene with Perrin walking in on her brushing her hair, half-naked and my 14-year-old self went "OH SHIT IS THIS HAPPENING?!"

And then it didn't.

I liked the part where she was short. Would be easy to lift and move her around.

I like to think it was the serpent saying, "Look, you had to go through all that shit. I'll toggle god mode on for you, thanks for not letting the dark one fuck my snake pussy forever."

They were bitches too, just the most honest ones

Mat resists helping Rand at every turn and has to be forced into it. He thinks Rand is nuts, which is ironic considering Mat's and Rand's brands of crazy are vaguely alike. Perrin gets that he has to do shit or the world ends but he gets less and less chummy with the other two until they're basically strangers. He even comes to resent Rand a bit. Rand himself is just going insane and is too paranoid to actually confide in another human being.

They're all fucking terrible and seem to not understand the value of nurturing friendships with the people who have literally saved your life multiple times. It's almost painful to read.

They only say that about women, because its a terrible running gag Jordan somehow thought was still funny after the 60th time

>Plus, at least the wise women are smart enough and respectful enough to not look down on all men as inferior like Aes Sedai do
user, they belittle men too. They just trust them to do what their wives tell them. All women in Wheel of Time think men are inferior, they just have different ways of addressing it. And perhaps the men actually are, given how comically clueless they are about the women

Fuck. Yes.