Veeky Forums makes a setting: Craaaaaaawl edition

I'm sorry. it was too funny.
Ones, threes, and fives are canon.

The most important resource in the world is exploited murderhobos

What's Canon so far
>Humanity is in a reverse Halo scenario(humans dominating galaxy and pusing back an alien coalition)
>Humans are divided into factions with defined by what technology they use
>Human anthem is Crawling in my crawl

Are the 5s of the old thread still canon?

A vegetarian cult decided to become artificial and synthetic to avoid needing to consume food. Ths, became robots.

Let me rephrase the rules, all posts ending with one, three, and five are part of a new setting hopefully Veeky Forums will create.

Don't shitpost, Be creative.

Also the Sand people fighting to conquer the western side of the galaxy.

Yes.
It's too funny to ignore.

You see?

Alright.


Warp/Fade dust exists, there is competition between snorting Dust, Spice, Lyrium, or Eversor ashes.

Creating a massive drug war killing anyone by draining their thoughts to grow the warpstone.

Feeding them to grow the lyrium.

And killing assassins to turn them to ash.

Terrified by the spread of the humans, many species have taken refuge underground or on barren planet in hopes that the humans will pass by without knowing they are there. But everything changes when the planetwide stripmining starts.

>Because of the sheer size and glut of resources, sections of the human empire are place of ultimate decadence. Entire worlds are devoted to entertaining exhausted soldiers rotated out of the front, or upper class humans looking to unwind. Here they can gamble their fortunes, indulge in stadium size game simulations, or pay a hefty price for alien sex slaves.

>All that space cocaine makes a marine want to put his dick in anything nowadays

>The primary weapon used by human soldiers is a rifle that fires small syringes filled with medicine. The medicine effectively makes its victim clinically retarded

Africa was launched into space, and turned into a jerry rigged orbital weapons platform supported by welfare

Special mutant hybrids (Lizardmen) disdain technology and cannibalize to grow stronger soldiers.

Training day has the hybrid recruits sealed in a chamber for a week with water but no food, the resulting carnage is indescribable.

At the end of the week only the strongest recruits live.

Only one recruit is expected to live.

The resulting hulks are hyper-intelligent and long-living as a result of their newly absorbed DNA.

But they have difficulty operating anything their claws slice, which is mostly anything that isn't their own scales.

Instead they fight, quite literally, with tooth and nail.

>the syringes contain, in fact, distilled 3.5 edition

Holy fuck donkeys, now that it's 1,3, and 5, all the posts are now '0' and '4'. Fuck you Veeky Forums
Make these canon!

...

This is hilarious and sad.
No-one but the first and second and fourth posts are canon.

I vote to remove this one

They are now.
Your posts linked to theirs.
(Incessant gigging)

Now the syringes exist unless three anons say no.

I vote it to be canon.

This is canon.

Also, Humans created sergals as their fuck toys. The Sergals escaped and now ravage the land in rapegangs.

Spaceships have a chance to be given intelligence and talk to their crew as the captain.

These AIs are universally "female" as ships are referred to as "shes."

Not cannon
Due to genetic engineering all humans reproduce very quickly and are immune to bullets of any size less than a cannon ball.

absolutely canon

Tragically not canon.
Did you read "I like big autobutts and I cannot lie?"

2:2
Next canon/not canon post states whether or not it's canon.


Australia is the only place humans have difficulty settling in after world war LIIVI.

It mutated the wildlife into larger predatory and territorial versions.

This is where the lizardmen project was inspired after capturing a mega-goanna.

3.5 edition is a chemical compound that dissolves any organic matter in a matter of seconds.

Now its canon.

If this is canon how does the injection work?

Humanity's FTL technology consists of shitposting so hard the universe locally implodes from it and lets them warp into the location they want.
That's the primary reason why humans are pushing back the alien coalition - because they don't actually need equipment to warp.

people eat only shit

>Factions from Australia ride into battle on War-Emus

>If this is canon how does the injection work?
It's not used on humans but on aliens. Easier to catch them alive if they're too dumb to fight back.

The injections inflict weapons grade autism on their victims

Not canon.
....The Emus would be bigger than the lizardmen hybrids though.

The genetic engineering has also made humans consist entirely of cancer.

Oh shit now it's canon.
Giant Emus larger than the hulk being rode into battle.

There's a race of bear-men in the far north, and they're all spurdo spardes.

Austrailians have developed a weaponized memetic virus which incites berserk rage and brain death in those exposed to it.

They call it "shitposting"

The Moon has been turned into one giant space hotel for the nobels of the human empire

The primary weapon of mankind's army is a syringe gun that shoots syringes filled with a chemical that destroys (nonhuman) biological organisms in seconds.
When the syringes hit humans they are overcome with an autistic rage the likes of even Veeky Forums has yet to witness.

How powerful is the human faction?
0/10

Sentient plants fight others for total control of the universe.

Each sentient plant can grow up to 5000 spores per day.

Every sentient plant can quickly grind an organic creature into blood and bone fertilizer to rapidly germinate their seedlings.

All fruit or vegetables must be boiled in order to confirm it wasn't a spy or a soldier.

Tobacco and marijuana is outlawed in case smokers explode into an entire army.

Every single human in the empire must be wearing special heated boots to burn any grass they step on.

All oxygen is forcefully extracted from trees in fear that they too become sentient and betray earth.

It's not canon but >Boiled or candied
One thing that I forgot to type in.

Being a bogan is seen by all as the pinnacle of cultures

All lizardmen sound like Steve Irwin.

Not canon.

>1
And now it is canon.

Have some factions

>Singularity: Believe humanity's next step is to merge with its technology to achieve immortality. Bodies are specially designed and custom made as a blend of organic and synthetic components which people transfer their consciousness to.
>>Amiable terms with Mutatio. ACF
>Neutral to Sins of Self

>Mutatio: While in many places, it is based out of Australia. Here, the faction seeks to perfect humanity by adapting the genetic traits of other species into the human genome. Anything that can be useful be it regenerating limbs, bio-luminescence, etc. Every human in this faction has a body that is spliced to let them excel in their task.
>>Friendly terms with Singularity, Sins of Self
>Neutral with ACF

>Sins of Self: Springing up around cults formed on pleasure worlds, the general belief held by all is by attaining newer heights of pleasure, one may become greater than an organic meat sack. This can be anything from finding a more potent drug, to engaging in never ending orgies where the dead are burned, and snorted by the survivors. Some argue these were just started by weirdoes that wanted to bang aliens, but it still attracts many followers. Don't mistake their hedonism with weakness. These cults have followers in every world in human territory, and some even in Coalition Space. Attempts to stop their quest for indulgence is met with harsh punishment. They're still quick to forgive, and will invite even their worst enemies to 'unwind' in their vacation
>>Very friendly with everyone.


>ACF: the combined military forces of government militaries, private armies and mercenaries all organized by a single body politic dedicated to bringing more territory into human dominion. Anything that improves combat effectiveness or streamlines the process of inducting local aliens into the empire is welcomed, but layabouts that abuse the system for self gain are not tolerated.
>>Friendly with Singularity and Mutatio
>Hostile with Sins of Self.

Should this be a running theme Veeky Forums?
"Veeky Forums makes a setting" threads?

They're always good for a laugh.

I remember the Veeky Forums creates a Vault thread that had clowns, mimes, and a forbidden love affair between a trap and a reverse trap.

To contribute, a mutated variant of Kudzu is a very real problem, carried across the stars by mistake on spaceships.

Canon, I like it.
What do we name the setting though?

Sorry, I was new to this.
Hilarious.

You forgot "Crawling in my crawl" being earth's national anthem.

Ah right
>Every member of the ACF memorizes the anthem by heart, ending with a solid 'Oooh-ra!'

ending with a solid 'Oooh-ra!'
My sides.

>The craziest SoS cult to spring up is around the spliced human who simple calls himself Disny the Hutt

SoS?

Canon.
Also canon.

Sins of Self cult as pointed out in

Oh.

>Humans warriors exclusively use chainsword-esque weapons in melee
>Everyone complains about how ineffective they are but refuses to change anything

And now to sing the national anthem.

So, uh, is anyone here?

Canon

This post will be the first words the narrator says.

Clown goblins are also banned.

I meant this post.

My post is not canonX3

>*Times three.

Bio-mechanical drones dominate battlefield support roles.
Civilians continue to assert that they are cute.

What are clown goblins?
Humanity is quickly making the sand people irrelevant due to being uneffected by the main weapon of the sand people: dubstep.

Alien Coalition is headed by precursor who uplifted many of the races, and had fought each other in the past

>the reason humanity is dominating right now is because humans scavenged million year old tech in battlefields the precursors had totally forgotten about.

But the precursors ARE the humans.

FTL travel requires a jump through an Event Horizon-esque Hell dimension, but that hell is subjective to each individual.

all women have 2 genitalia (big male one and female under it)

CRAAAAAAAAAAWLLLLL,

CRAAAAAAAAAAWLLLLL,

CRAAAAAAWLING IN MY CRAWL!

Yeti's exist but no one ever sees them.