*Sexual Grunting at the end of every other verse*

How would one build Michael Jackson in Pathfinder/3.5e? I have a strange compulsion to play the king of pop in a campaign at some point before I die.

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Bard seems like an obvious choice, but I would vote for going full thriller with a necromancer

Bard 6

-10 hp

There is a Bard archetype that focuses on necromancy, it's perfect for Thriller Jackson.

Alternatively, the Dancing Dervish archetype uses dance fighting and can easily represent Smooth Criminal, Bad or Beat It Jackson.

What class would be good for the Jackson that turns into a car?

The Turbo-Teen class.

lesbian dykes with swords inside of brown dykes

youtube.com/watch?v=j18e_ID-DpA
this is seriously creepy, wonder how many TF-related fetishes it caused

It only aired 1 season and then was exiled to the land of misfit cartoons, aka the USA Cartoon Express, which is where I saw it as a kid. Shit is weird as fuck though.

All I'm hearing is that there needs to be an entire party encompassing the different Michael Jackson archetypes

A quarter the way through the campaign he mysteriously switches from a drow to a high elf.

How would you stat the Peter Pan Fanboy Jackson?

Dervish Dancer and Dirge Bard are pretty solid archetypes.

The dancer can only buff himself, but he gets pretty crazy in melee. The Dirge Bards Dance of the Dead can very easily recreate Thriller, I wouldn't recommend fighting one in a graveyard.

A party of jacksons would be best... Especially if there were, say, five of them.

>necromancer thriller jackson

>dervish dancer smooth criminal jackson

>brawler/rogue greaser jackson from BAD

>man in the mirror paladin jackson

>young JAKSON5 squire sidekick

>Wait until another player creates a character named Annie
>It's go time
>Constantly ask other PC if she's okay throughout the campaign

>Your familiar is also a rat.

Underrated comment.

>not a chimp
You had one job.

Having session 0 of a Rise of the Runelords campaign on Saturday and one of the other players made a character named Annie.

If only I was a smooth criminal.

Did she end up being ok?

Are the racial traits different between drow and high elves? I can't remember for some reason... oh right. I'm drunk.

Chase around the cute little halflings while giggling