Be really fucking good at making balls

So hobbits are incidentally the best possible race of people to deal with handling the one ring because they're relatively simple folks who don't like fighting and aren't really as aware of the outside world and its dangers, yeah?

So why was Smeagol so quickly influenced by the ring? Any reasons in particular? I'm not complaining, more like speculating. I don't think it'd be Tolkien's intent for him to be an inherent asshole or anything that was drawn out by the Ring, or if it was just exuding its corrupting powers at a greater extent than it did for others.

If he hated elves so much why didn't he just fuck their shit up when they came to Middle Earth to fuck HIS shit up

He's big, he's humanoid, he's on fire, and the landscape is erupting around him. Isn't that good enough?

I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think it's tied to his original name, "smeagol". It's related to the etymology of digger, burrower, seeker after darkness. He'd always had a fascination with secrets in deep places, and in Tolkien's cosmology, that's an unhealthy interest to have and indicative of a deeper darkness.

So yes, I do think it was an inherent assholishness that was brought out by the precious.

He was from the most man-like group of hobbits.

>So why was Smeagol so quickly influenced by the ring?
to my understanding he wasn't, he possessed the ring for a really damn long time, a member of any other race would have reached gollum-level crazy very quickly and would have become a pure evil monster after that long.

Not him, but I think he means about how after some 6 seconds seeing (not even having) it, he murders his best friend over the thing.

Yeah like says I'm more referring to him killing his cousin for it.
Okay, that's pretty reasonable in a sort of cosmic sense.

Fuck it, here you go

Alternate take.

Was Melkor the quintessential "I was just pretending to be retarded" retard?

...

>Be Melkor
>Be a mild inconvenience

>The War of Wrath
>mild inconvenience

Anybody have The One Ring PDFs?

Exception. Not the rule. Most of the time Melkor was pretty shit at getting shit done.

had the urge to type this up for some reason
>dad is some unitarian, transcendentalist, new-age composer
>has all his kids in music classes, and has them play arrangements together
>eldest kid is talented but loathes classical music because his dad only cares about his personal artistic obsessions
>all the younger siblings are dad's perfect little proteges, all equally obsessed with his ongoing projects and body of work as the greatest evolution in music
>eldest becomes rockstar like Pink in The Wall, younger seven all become classical performers
>dad's legacy dominated by oldest's music, which is in active rejection of his ideals
>the younger kids spend long fruitful careers reverently enshrining their father's compositions and criticizing their older' brother's work
>older bro ODs pretty young, and his siblings shit talk kim in death
>Older bro's bandmate and rumored boyfriend starts making solo albums
>they seem like some form of artistic reconciliation with the family, but it turns out to be a massive dig at them
>eventually the boyfriend burns out too

It could be worse

He could be Morgoth

I know that was a joke.
But it stab's me in my soul. No, not just my soul. In my soul's dick.

I am glad Shadow of Mordor existed and a sequel is on the way

My inner lorefag be damned that shit was and hopefully is fun

Same. It was fun as hell, but GOD I hate how it rapes the lore.
I'm tentatively optimistic about the second one, tentatively.

I saw a clip of the ghost of Celebrimbor forging a ring in the middle of mount doom and stopped it before it continued.

Rule 63'd Feanor is more hilarious.

I liked it

This post gave me cancer. Then it gave my cancer AIDS.

I'd watch a movie about the blue wizards in the style of a stoner road trip movie.

>Blacks and Women commanders everywhere
>"I'm tentatively optimistic"
Yeah, way to make Eowyn plot stupid
>I want to fight!
>You can't, you're a woman!
>But every woman fights and is commanders and shit!
>...

Is that worse, or do they somehow cancel each other out?

>what is tragic hubris
Please don't inflict this upon The Silmarillion. It is so much better than this. Go talk about Warcraft or something. This is above your station.

I hate you both. Traitors.

There are countless fictional characters capable of taking on the strongest of Naruto characters.

Might as well throw Doctor Strange at them all at once, and see what happens.

>Hint; Strange would destroy the Sage of Six Paths

That's... depressing.

>Wizards vs Ninjas

That's not really fair. The Shinobi would get erased from existence.

>Galadriel literally saw the light of the Two Trees
>Marries some sindar fucking shit

what's up with that?

What's wrong with Sindarin?

basically, if you haven't seen the trees you're small time

He was ruined by the rock n' roll music

Spare me from rhis cancer.
Turin dindu nuffin.

>checked
Galadriel realized that all the other Noldor were cunts.

Pretty much every bad thing that happened to Turin was his own fault, and I say this as a huge Turinfag

Celeborn is at least pretty badass. They don't let just anybody go around named the Wise.

He's wise for tapping that fucking ass you know what I'm saying

How would you go about making an evil 3rd age Middle Earth campaign where players are orcs and wargs and shit?

Also, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to portray Black Numenoreans as basically Melniboneans, would it?

I think it would work pretty well, they presumably also had access to sauron's sorcery. They had the city of Umbar for most of the age, and it was built at the height of their imperial era so it was full of massive feats of second age numenorean engineering, like Isengard but a whole city.
How powerful do you intend to make steelbows? Different interpretations have them range from being super heavy draw longbows, up to straight up guns, with the more absurd stuff thinking them missiles of some kind.

I could definitely see steelbows as being actual guns (hollow, made of steel, huge range, and we know gunpowder has been a thing for a long time), but I'd back it up from that unless I was going for a really pulpy feel. I'd probably treat them as just the best bows you can get ahold of.

Also, on this subject. How would orcs view their place within the forces of Sauron? They wouldn't refer to him as the Dark Lord, would they? Hell, maybe they would, seeing how they like actual darkness, as in the absence of light.

I reckon their loyalty would depend on how close they are to mordor or other seats of power, like dark Numenorean strongholds. As for actually calling him "Dark Lord", Sauron likes to be called Tar-Mairon and that's what he had the numenoreans call him.

OK, cool. I didn't know about the Tar-Mairon name.

I'm picturing lots of independent orc-holds that self-govern and everything, but if they were approached by a wraith, or something powerful like that they would immediately bend a knee and get officially drafted into the dark army.

It's worse. you have cancer AIDS

Well, that's the whole point of all those Greek prophecy-tragedy stories, innit? Was it really his fault that all that he did went to shit? Would it all still have happened if Morgoth hadn't cursed Tuor' + kin?

>Rohan and Gondor are different nations
>Tolkien had a whole tribe of black people show up to help defend Minas Tirith
Please try to stop being retarded.