The Class You Want to Be vs The Class You Actually Are

>What is a flesh-wound?

A giant barbarian who rides an elk into battle and uses frost magic vs A cleric of frost who is fairly strong but not enough.

I feel like going into the dnd multiverse would be a bad idea nayway, like wouldn't several dieites immediately notice the intrusion? Like if you go into the FR who knows how say Ao would react. your something from even further than the far realm after all.

canadian?

Theoretically yes, but there's plenty of cases that prove it takes much more than one stab to kill someone. Generally more than one bullet as well. The human body is surprisingly resilient honestly, especially with modern medicine.

>Yes. But in D&D, because of it, it is impossible for some characers to be killed with a dagger unless they are incapacitated.
By criticals it is.

>what is parrying
>what is dodging
>what is generally just tiring out
>what is people's ability to actually take more than 1d6 fall damage

The typical commoner should have around 20-30hp.

Want to be: Rogue,Bard, Wizard... whatever gives the most "tools" whether magic or mundane.

Real Life: A Chemical Engineer so probably an Alchemist by fantasy game terms. Although I make machines too so maybe some kind of smith? I am a musician and apilot as hobbies as well but that's just some random skills.
Dunno, probably just an Artisan with a bunch of odd skill points.

>Every soldier wants to be a fighter.
>Military only needs rangers and clerics.

Nanotech process engineer. So, a commoner with craftsman skills.

I'd like to be a wizard.

I'd give my right arm to be a devout and zealous LG cleric, to save lives and spread faith, love and knowledge.

Instead, I am a faithless CN student struggling to do his part for society and become worthy of LG.

>tfw busker
>tfw studying at university
>tfw enjoy the party lifestyle, whilst also being skilled at translating anglo-saxon
>tfw enjoy theatre
>tfw you've reached your zenith
>tfw you've become a bard

>what I want to be
A warlock who serves a powerful succubus and on his off time runs a bar
>what I am
A low level soldier who on his off time drinks heavily at a bar

>What I want to be

A 3.PF Wizard

>What I am

A Commoner with 1HD and below 10 in every stat

>hit points = meat points meme

>want
Rogue
>am
1/2HD commoner with astoundingly poor stat rolls in every instance.

>want to be a selfless lawful good paladin who serves God.
>actually a lawful neutral blackguard who just really hates evil and don't actually have any goodness inside of me

>Want to be
A Technomancer of some sort

>Actually am

Expert with military background (navy) doing low level IT shit. At least I have some weapons proficiency

Want to be a roaming barbarian.
Actually a magitek wizard that specializes on automatons.
Hence the life of a computer engineer.

>ideal class
Warlock
>real class
book man

Ideal Class
>Warlord
2handed, Heavily armored, with lots of magic
Real Class
>Warlock/Backpacker
Kek Worshipper and /out/doorsmen.

>ideal
i guess i'd want to be a wizard and have a moving castle like howl or something. plus a fire demon who i can feed egg shells. actually being a wizard in the dnd sense is probably too much work, so i guess i'd be a sorcerer. though maybe howl is more like a warlock, and i could live with that.
>real
i guess a commoner, but maybe an expert since i know some esoteric printing methods and various other crafting skills and make a living as a printmaker/calligrapher. but like many have said, i would give myself at most 8 in any given stat.

Enjoy every moment.
Once you get out of uni, things go bad.

You guys know that a 10 in a stat is the statistical average right? I think you have at least one 10 in your array somewhere.

Except people survive dagger wounds all the time. And animal attacks, and plane crashes, and car crashes, loss of limbs, gunshots, disease...
There's even a guy who took a drill to the brain - only because it pushed tissue instead of tearing it, he was fine.
Humans in reality can survive some crazy shit, man.

>Want: not sure - desired features and spell list draw from Ranger, Summoner, Bard, and even Rogue

>Am: If negative class levels were possible to have without dying in 3.X, I'd be the one to have them

>expecting people posting here not to be below average

My highest stat is either INT or CHA and I bet you it's 9 at most. WIS is my dump stat.

>implying most people here don't have a high intelligence and low charisma or wisdom.
Be realistic, most browsers of Veeky Forums are pretty intelligent.Sure there are idiots even in the traditional gaming section, but it's none too bad.

Level 0 Commoner is who I am, and I'm pretty content with that. Maybe a few skills in farming, seems like a nice life far from any sort of struggle, especially if i had some sort of crafting skill to back it up.

I have no interest in fighting exotic, soul sucking demons.

>Want:
Pathfinder Occultist because the idea of being a dude who draws the power out of magical items is so awesome to me. Also, going around nabbing anything that's magical and not nailed down would be fun.

>Am:
Like an Expert or something like that. Only because I've sunk a ton of skill ranks into Craft (Spreadsheet).

what I want to be: an elven bard
what I am: level 0 commoner

>That awkward moment when you just want to be a farmer but you can't stop smiting undead.

I dunno. NG healer? I'm an EMT. Real people and professions resist preconceptions like classes. At the very least, its an advanced class.

And it varies by the person and the cut. One guy I saw, he was stabbed 13 times and still making jokes. He was shunting and going into shock, so bleed is a thing, but still. Another guy got stabbed four times, but it was somewhat deeper, and he had a little disembowelment. He still lived also, but he wasn't talking so much.

tl;dr real damage resists numbers, real people resist the boxes that classes

>want
CG paladin
>am
low level CN bard

i know that and thought about it, but lets go down the list
strength: i'm a skeleton
dexterity: i'm clumsy
constitution: i get sick all the time and am a skeleton
intelligence: i really don't think i'm very smart, and actually i think i'm pretty dumb. but okay maybe i'm just average.
wisdom: definitely not
charisma: i'm okay looking but i'm really bad at talking to people.
so i think realistically i'm looking at no good stats. i could have 10 int and charisma, at best, but i think not.

The class I want to be? Artificer. The class I am? Expert with my skill points split between Craft: Computer Repair, Craft: Cooking, Driving, and Profession: Janitor.

>want
Sorcerer, no question about it.
>am
0th level commoner with some ranks in Knowledge (History) and Knowledge (Local).

Only 20% of pistol shots are fatal.

>want to be alchemist
>Open online store
>Sell tarot readings, potions, charms, seals, spell castings, etc. To people who believe in that stuff
>Act all knowing and mysterious when emailing with customers
>Actually be a nerd who just likes table top maybe a bit too much
>Realize I'm getting payed to LARP
Feels good

ITT: Fun Police

That's awesome man, getting paid to do what you love is great.

>Am: Low level commoner with almost nothing approaching above average.

>Want: Thrallherd.

Out of curiosity, how much money do you make each month from this after costs for shipping/running the storefront?

It's only like $500 so far, but it takes minimal effort and is pretty fun and it's slowly rising. It fluctuates a lot, I remember I randomly sold like $1,300 one month because I think a coven was restocking or something. If you want to see how much this stuff sells for check out bestparanormalsellers while I don't sell the scammier shit they do it can give you an idea.

That sounds pretty awesome. How does one get into this market exactly?

Just look up magic stuff online, practice fortune telling methods on /x/, maybe start on the website I put last post since that takes care if it's overhead but I'm not sure how many actually buy from it.
I will say I'd probably be making more if I went more crystals and holistics as opposed to magic in addition to the fortune telling, but the magic is fun as fuck and makes me feel like a wizard so do as you will.
For reference I started by saying I had stuff on /x/ and people bought it, but that was awhile ago so I dunno if that still works

Most of my skills point to me being either a rogue or a ranger, but I really wish I were a fighter built like a tank and capable of shrugging off being shot.

Say that to George Washington or Andrew Jackson, the latter which regularly tanked getting shot directly like a champ, or any of those stupidly lucky arab tank gunners who can survive literally getting blown up out of their vehicles, and in their case they're not even proper soldiers. Level 0 commoners are probably scathingly uncommon IRL because their lack of skills and vitality means they wouldn't live into adulthood.

In later versions of D&D and Pathfinder, commoners have been amended to have 10 hitpoints at default anyway because everyone found it retarded that a man had as much vitality as a kitten.

This guy is acting like every dagger hit = nat 20 with max damage rolled, and the target is wearing literally zero damage reducing equipment, you know that armour you're supposed to have on in the dnd world?

Like shit man, so literal.

Want to be a Paladin, probably would be a fighter.

>Want
LG Paladin
>Am
NG Warlock

Im gonna multiclass first chance I get. my patron supports it, so that won't be a problem. gonna swear an oath of the ancients on a mountaintop in summer, before then Im just working on my physical fitness and social skills.

I just want to cast spells. So whatever class has spell casting.
Too bad I'm stuck as a commoner

>want to be
LN/TN druid, turning into animals seems fun and I already like lots of nature stuff
>am
Commoner, 10s straight down. Maybe 9 CON, 11 INT.

Wizard.
It's the goddamn wizard.
A WIZARD DAMNIT I WANT TO BE A WIZARD.
BEHOLD THE WIZARD
youtube.com/watch?v=Xi_hcwB8i64

What I actually am is some kind of ripoff captain planet villain.

>Fantasy
>Some underfed guy who looks like he's constipated being consumed by the universe itself

>Reality
>Some comfy peasant looking smug as fuck, as if he's about to say "go tell m'lord, I don't give a fuck"

Reality looks a lot better.

>classical statuesque looks and at least a full foot of height advantage
>underfed
Now you're just being contrary for the sake of attention grabbing.

Would love to be an Animal Handling Ranger, but I'm just a level 1 Wizard with the Hermit background

>Want to be: Wizard
>Am: Sage with a ton of points in Knowledge: History

I'm not sure what I want to be, but what I am is a Tech that uses relativistic particle cannons to cure cancer.

Want: Lightning fast, dual-wielding fighter.

Am: Wizard. Love studying and can't take a punch. Also -4 strength

Want: Magical girl
Am: At least I got high DEX... :

>Want to be:Spellsword with David Bowie levels of charisma
>Am: Unremarkable rogue at best with little to no charisma

>least I got high Dat Ass

Want: Heroic warrior who leads his own army, preparing and fighting in preparation of the apocalypse where he plays a pivotal role and will inherit the earth if its averted.

Am: Level 7 Fighter who employs child soldiers and a +18 Intimidate

bowie is good
good luck friend

>Want to be
A paladin
>Actually are
A barbarian that's trying to take a few levels in bard

omg a guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Want: cleric
Am: cleric
Living the good/god life

Am guard, would rather be full-time bard.

>check out bestparanormalsellers
>google it
>this offer on first page

>A Male Mardu Djinn Spirit will be conjured and bound to your Spirit body. Djinns are extremely powerful supernatural beings. The longer the master continues their bond with their Djinn, the greater the connection and the level of strength. The Master will constantly and infinitely become stronger and more capable. The Djinn are masters of white and dark magick. This means no request will be denied. Djinn, like other white spirits, will listen to your thoughts and watch your dreams to learn your inner most desires and then does everything in their power to make these desires come true. They also are masters of dark magick, so the will also share their great powers and superhuman abilities with you in exchange for your personal spirit energy. Djinns have the ability of Hallucinogenic Touch . This is one of the Djinns famous abilities. By touching someone, they can induce a series of delusions on the mind of their target, typically causing them to enter in an unconscious, dreamlike state. Inside it, a person can relive their deepest dreams and desires, over and over again, akin to a endless loop. These delusions can also be induced in a more mild fashion, leaving the person awake, but at the risk of having them break on a mental level due to the mix of reality and illusion. There is also an offshoot race of Djinns, who when inducing the delusions, trap people in a dream world of their greatest fears, and feed off it. When touching their targets, they usually leave a blue mark in the shape of a handprint on the victim. Djinns have Super Strength. Djinns are notably stronger than humans, able to easily over power them. Even a teenage Djinn is able to overpower a grown man. Djinns have Super Speed. Djinns can move incredibly fast, able to suddenly appear and ambush others. They have Super Agility. Djinns are much more agile than humans. (...)

Holy fuck.

>Want
to be a cyberpunk detective

>Am
Farmer

>want to be
Artificer
>am
Bard

Want: To be a sorceress or a witch. Or even just a girl in general. Magic powers are a plus though.

Am: Tech-Priest.

Want: Sorcerer. Get them sweet magics without having to put any effort into learning spells

Am: Fighter/Expert, but more Expert - Am Weapons Technician in Army. Not nearly as proficient as infantry in combat ops, but I know my way around a firefight.

Want: Thrallherd
Am: some suboptimal multiclass mashup

>want to be
A powerful Paladin of good with holy abilities and righteous conviction
>am
A neutral Thief who doesn't steal.

My skills are "wasted" on a person like me.

>Commoner
Bitch, you literally top most known Necromancers in the Planes, you can fucking Summon Orcus at level 1 as a FUCKING FLAW, so after that you've only got say 19 other levels within your mortal capability threshold to work on the classes needed to bind him.

>want to be
A loyal paladin, or a gutsy freighter pilot.

>am
a CR 1/8 noble.

Wants to be: A true Neutral Druid.
Is actually: Is a funeral director. So maybe I am a NG cleric of Pharasma?

Want: A heroic character fighting the undead
Am: Taking care of the undead

>Want to be.
CG ranger

>actually am.
CG ranger, who split his companions HD up for 8 cats. Seriously, i must have charm animal at will or just one hell of a handle animal roll. I've tamed about a dozen feral cats over the years. Wouldn't let anyone else near them but they'd follow me around like i had mice in my pockets or something. Feels good to be the cat whisperer.

Am: A shit commoner with no skills other than doing a somewhat okay Chaos Space Marine voice on vocaroo.

Want: A 6th level Horizon Walker with the "Shifting" terrain mastery.

>Want: High level CG bard
>Am: Level 1 CN expert

If you start grinding boars or kindergartners in the woods you just might get enough XP.

>Want:
NG Mystic (PoW) or Samurai

>Am:
Dishwasher in shitty chain restaurant.

God life sucks man.

Want: Sorceress, Spheres of Power Archtype
Am: Swordsage.

I wanted to like, weave together the forces of the universe and become an awesome figurative oil painter. I'm now doing CG for movies one of the best people in my department, always developing new techniques.

Well at least you didn't peak in highschool.

The bitterest part of me can't wait for this to happen. The better part of me wishes for him to live a full and regret free life.

Want: CG wizard

Am: level 1 monk with painfully average dex

Want: Sorcerer or Wizard
Am: Monk with grappler feat (wrestled for 10 years, took tae kwon do and judo, grew up uber religiously)

What I wish I was: An Arcanist, learning the rules of magic to better rules-lawyer my way to victory!
What I am: Low-level Brawler with the powers of above-average mental stats, WILLPOWER, INTENSE TRAINING, and CRIPPLING DEPRESSION.

Wish I was: Anyone that gets power from someone else. Literally first offer for real power, warlock, cleric, etc.
What I am: A man with ambition and a receptionist job meeting rich people daily

Oh look, someone who's never been stabbed.