How does a dragon transport treasure back to his den?

He puts it all in a really big bag with a dollar sign on it and carries it back to his lair.

Swallows it up, flies it home, shits it out.

By way of explanation, PUNCTURED CANS of food plundered from camp sites and dumpters are routinely found it grizzly bear shit.

A big animal can pass a big object.

this only reminds me of that mspaint comic someone did of pepe as a beagle boy from ducktales shitting in scrooge mcduck's vault and throwing gold on top to make it look like a mountain of gold

which is something i wish i could forget, really.

Well we know that specific dragon did that. But the actual rules for dragons in most games state they guard giant hoards of treasure and it seems silly to assume every dragon lives in an abandoned dwarven gold vault.

It doesn't.

Do you have any idea of how heavy gold is? And how rare it is?

That Dragon's got more gold in its hoard than the US does.

Obviously, the dragon doesn't actually hoard gold, because that's incomprehensible. The Dragon hoards the idea of goal. All that gold there is a reflection conjured from the platonic realm.

When a dragon goes out to "steal" gold, it's actually removing it from existence, thereby enhancing the value of its own platonic riches.

this

Generally dragons in folklore and epic and such move into a place that was already occupied by somebody else, they don't bring the treasure to a new location.

Like in Beowulf:
"There were many such
antique riches in that earth-hall,
for in ancient days an unknown man
had thought to hide them carefully there,
the rich legacy of a noble race,
precious treasures."

Then later:
"An old beast of the dawn
found that shining hoard standing open--
he who, burning, seeks the barrows,
a fierce and naked dragon, who flies by night
in a pillar of fire; people on earth
fear him greatly. It is his nature to find
a hoard in the earth, where, ancient and proud,
he guards heathen gold, though it does him no good."

See also: Smaug.
So yeah, the treasure is usually there before the dragon.

you got it the wrong way round buddy, hoards of gold create dragons as defense mechanisms

Why the fuck do dragons give a shit about gold anyway?

In Narnia there was a cave full of treasure that turned you into a dragon if you slept there.

Depends on the setting.

Tolkien wrote his dragons as having a supernatural if totally impractical greed for shiny things. Which is in itself inspired by Beowulf; see

with slaves

They collect shiny things in their den to attract females.

>How does a dragon transport treasure back to his den?

They swallow it, store it inside their croup (which is an organ located in the throat of birds, dinosaurs, etc that they normally use to store food so they can regurgitate it at a later time for babies), and then regurgitate it onto their treasure piles back in their nests at a later date.

Dragons try to avoid breathing fire with a croup full of treasure as if it melts in there it can solidify awkwardly and kill them.
Or they just get kobolds/goblins to carry it off to their lairs for them, but most Dragons despise the idea of anyone -even kobolds- handling their treasure for any great length of time.

>Why the fuck do dragons give a shit about gold anyway?

Intelligent? Because of the status, because it lures people/adventurers to eat, because money is power, etc..
Not Intelligent? Some animals just love shiny objects, have you never seen or heard of crows/magpies collecting small hoards of treasure in their nests? Forks, coins, can-lids, etc..

Don't talk to me about fucking maggies mate.

>Don't talk to me about fucking maggies mate.

What did the magpies do to you, user?

Are you Australian?

Yes.
NOW KILL ALL OF THOSE FUCKING BIRDS!

they stole my hat

or shits it out, though that would hurt like hell

Gold is actually Dragon poop.

They all have a massive fetish.

maybe thats how they get rich. They just find giant bank vaults filled with gold.

I mean, if a dragon moved into fort knox, and just said, "Fuck you, I'm staying" would YOU want to fuck with it?

...

The bird realizes your most precious object is the one you use most.

Given that the gold in fort nox never actually leaves the building it'd be a great security measure.

What if the dragon melted it in his belly? It'd come out much easier then.

It'd also be melted and mixed with dragon shit, dirt from the cave, and any rocks or stuff it flows onto. I also can't imagine liquid hot metal doesn't burn your asshole.

Magic

How would a dragon purify the metal?

This one?

Dragonomicon has a spell for dragons called hoard gullet that turns their throat/stomach into a bag of holding temporarily

digestive acid, separate organs for different foods, very high internal temperature. If a dragon can breathe fire, it should be able to resist 2000F shits. Or maybe it shits nonliquid gold. Or maybe it doesn't make any other solid waste. Or maybe it regurgitates the gold instead of sending it down.

>How does a dragon transport treasure back to his den?
misconception. dragon's don't transport the treasure at all. they mind-control other races to stockpile it for them, then they make a lair on the stockpile

How do birds bring back food to their nest in order to feed their little ones?

This.

In some settings you might be able to excuse it by spellcasting often having a large monetary cost (Think DnD, where you might need a few thousand chunks of the stuff to cast a solid lesser wish or something.).Dragons, being the greedy, paranoid fucks that they are, hoard enough treasure to last them, their children, their grandchildren, and their favored great grandchildren (but fuck them, they aren't inheriting shit unless they can beat it out of pappy). Think the batman wizard, who also needs all of the components he might need in a given day, as well as to mass-produce time-stop scrolls.

Otherwise, magical compulsion? Physical embodiment of Greed? Dragons have issues with bio-electric levels, and need to be surrounded in conductive metal or their heart gets a murmur?

This.

>need to be surrounded in conductive metal
You know, in some editions of D&D dragons have a lair sense that tells them if someone is in there. Maybe they can sense slight fluctuations in the ambient magnetic field someone walking causes?

>dragonic MRI when

They eat it, duh. It's the most decadently delicious of metals.
They keep a huge hoard so they don't starve after hibernation ends.

He doesn't move his treasure, he moves his den.

Oh, like smaug. Neat

Now I need to see a dragon in typical bank robber clothes flying away with said bag while dwarves shaking their fists angrily.

Great big hands. Also some dragons can cast so "lol a wizard did it"

Gold is the best bedding for dragons

This guy gets it. It's about mate competition. A dragon with a big horde is displaying his personal power and fitness. He is also demonstrating the physical security of his lair. Thus showing proof to potential mates that he is well suited to providing for her and her hatchlings. Birds do the same, for the same reasons.

Obviously this was how it evolved. Dragons themselves just recognize a fierce territoriality and love of conspicuous, tangible wealth.

I third this interpretation.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=-TcLxlkc2pA

Closer to this
m.youtube.com/watch?v=KFoABWYv0rE

He doesn't. Other people put money in the heaps.

Usually after saying the words "I would like to open an account".

That's how they got the hoard in the first place.

Also the "slay the Dragon" quests are either idiots getting tricked into a major bank heist or some petty aristocrat trying to avoid paying back the loan he took.

Kidnapped princesses are the result of kings and emperors trying to get out of paying by the age old excuse of "I'm the King, I can do what I want". Dragon responds with "I'm a Dragon. This is your kin. Pay up".