There seems to be not a Knight RP thread in sight

There seems to be not a Knight RP thread in sight.
Let us change that brethren!
Tis I, Red Eagle, the dashing hero of Lovana who have come to make this a thing that Veeky Forums does every now and then.
Knights!
Come on in!

Hello fellow fair knight, it is I, Ham steamer the 12th

How do you not get fat from all the hams you steal or do you just steal them and not eat them?

I have many men to share my hams with, and if I have spares I give them to the villages in trade for more hams to steam.

Wait so you trade steamed ham for umsteamed ham?

Yes. Steamed hams sell for minimally more as most of these villages have poor or no tools for steaming hams

>Pats you on the back
Smart knight.

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Brothers! I have found a way to use the peasants' weapon against them!

Why hello there my...Shiny friend...
What is it good knight?
Also nice horse.

I am Rook Maynard. My lord is Edmund Fitzgerald of Whitefish Bay. Good to see you all on this fine evening.

Do not worry my friend, he ()
is simply saying he is ready to serve his lord.

>What is it good knight?
It is a lance that is also a gun, so we can shoot our foes while we stab them!
>Also nice horse.
Thank you, I would be loathe to lose my horse.

Fuck off to qst faggots

RP isn't /qst/

>Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot
>He was now afraid to die O, brave Sir Robin
>He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
>Brave, brave, brave Sir Robin

>He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
>Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
>To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
>And his limbs all hacked and mangled Brave Sir Robin

>His head smashed in and his heart cut out
>And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
>And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off
>And his penis-

Achem

>Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away, away
>When danger reared its ugly head he bravely turned his tail and fled
>Yes, Brave Sir Robin turned about and gallantly he chickened out
>Bravely taking to his feet he beat a very brave retreat
>Bravest of the brave; Sir Robin!

Why hello there brave sir!
Very nice to meet you!
Ah I see you are....adept at the sciences..
This is most amazing!
I'll see to it to buy one.
Mayhaps I might get a horse too.
Hmm...
Another song minstrel.

Likewise, Red Eagle. How is Lovana? We are just coming off of winter here in Whitefish Bay. The snow lies thick on the ground and the freight ships once again able to navigate through the ice

Lovana is a nice place.
Sweet smells, somewhat exotic animals, It's at the edge of a forest though so bandits are a routine problem.
Recent letters I get say that it's summer.

>Mayhaps I might get a horse too.
You wouldn't mean a new horse, would you?

Hey boys, can I join?

>Red Eagle coughs
Uh....yeah...
Are you...a women?

Brothers, I hope we did not forget to pray today? Perhaps I can lead us in prayer.

Shame about those bandits, but I understand. The bay gets sea based raiders occasionally, but we've become quite adept at dispatching them.

>Are you...a women?
And that's just one side of me!

Less praying, more slaying! God helps those who help themselves! Your hands are more used to the Lord clasped around a weapon instead of each other!

Ah very well brother.
Sea raiders?
What are those like?
Well i suppose if everyone's alright with it you can stay

WILL THY FELLOW KNIGHTS HELP ME VANQUISH THE EVILS OF CHARCOAL FROM OUR FAIR LAND?

Charcoal?
Like....
Like fucking actual charcoal?

You have my sword, Sir Hank of the Hill.

Not my brother's though, he lost his. On the subject, would anybody happen to have a spare sword by chance?

My friend, you should read your Scripture.

Romans 12:17-21
Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good

Eagle eyes, do you not see the army of undead outside right now?

Yes friend! Charcoal poisons the minds of true believers and turns them to foul heathenry! It is also an inferior fuel for the cooking of meats!
Excellent! Your sword shall surely taste the blood of many that would befuddle their meats with charcoal. Unfortunately, I do not have a sword for your brother. Perhaps another knight would be so kind as to lend him one for our quest?

Wilfred, I swear I will bludgeon you to death with my helm if you don't shut up about my fucking sword.

Right, my apologies. Perhaps you are right. To war, then.

Excellent. Away, Silver!

I know not where his blade lay unfortunately.
I-I guess I'll do this...
How did they even get here?

DEUS VULT! DEUS VULT DEUS VULT DEUS VULT DEUS VULT DEUS VULT!!! DEUS VULT?

Excellent! But before we embark on our crusade against the foul sorceries of charcoal, we should deal with the immediate undead problem. KNIGHTS! TO BATTLE!

Gentlemen, I seem to be in a pinch.

You see, I went to sleep under the night sky, and when I woke up I found myself mounting a large bear. I am not entirely sure if it knows I am here. I would give it a fell thrust through the spine, but it may not be as brutish as other beasts. What say you, the True Gentry?

Good news, brothers! The hordes that surround us are weak from rot and as fragile as twigs! Now is the time to charge!

I like your enthusiasm, Sir Dues of Vult! Let us slay these monsters!
If the beast will aid us in slaying this undead horde, then I say let it do so! Welcome to the battle!
Very observant! Once we rid this plain of these monsters, your sharp perception and quick thinking would surely benefit us in our crusade against the charcoal menace!

THERE ARE SO MANY OF THEM.
THERE WAS NO REASON FOR IT TO GET THIS BAD THIS QUICKLY.

DEUS. VULT.

>If the beast will aid us in slaying this undead horde, then I say let it do so! Welcome to the battle!
Dude, it's a wild animal. What if it gets turned into a zombie bear?
This dude seems iffy.

Bears are well known for their fortitude! Surely such a beast can resist the power of a zombies bite, and it's not like there are any necromancers around.

>Points to horde

Noble knights of this feudal world, I have come to assist you in dispatching these foul beasts. Imperator vult!

Goodly knights after my armor was damaged when last I went to battle on behalf of my lord I have been in need of a new suit. I have traveled far looking for the finest workmanship I could find. At last I have come to a smith who comes highly recommended by the cousin of my liege. The Armouror has attempted to sell me the piece shown in the image I have attached to this missive. I worry that it would not serve me well.What think you Chivalrous Sers?

Well, and excuse my language, shit.
A giant knight! Look at how his sword glows with holy light! Truly, the lord smiles upon us this day!
I greatly prefer plate myself, but it seems fine for leather armor.

You are fortunate Ser to be able to afford such. I fear my lands have been greatly impoverished by the predations of heathens and foul beasts and i can no longer afford more than chain-mail and worked leather. Six years of the last seven have we been to war, and I am sure that when the snows have thawed and the passes are open once more my lord will again be forced to sound the call to arms in defense of the kingdom.

Truly, he does. My hatred for these foul creatures burns like the brightest of flames. For the Emperor!

None of these even sirrah's know how to dress themselves...

Pardon?

Source on this?

gonna steal this for my cleric

It is a very nice cleric.

DID YOU JUST SAY "DEUS VULT"?
SOMEONE CALL THE POPE!

That's the holy spirit!

This is perfection and you can't fucking deny it

Going to admit to being a newfag but if rp doesn't belong in Veeky Forums and doesn't belong in /qst/ does it have a home on Veeky Forums? I don't mean like cyber debauchery like just text based games.

Ready and waiting lads.

>Tfw all these casuals using a sword...

WHY HELLO THERE! LET ME 'AXE' YOU A QUESTION

It's more like pic sharing than Questing.

Order of the Holy Squat, assemble!