Dorf ortress

Have you been building large taverns to draw in visitors and "friendly" guests?

They are much more common in worlds with longer histories.
Perhaps it is just observer bias but it felt like they appeared more often during the next few versions after they were introduced and less often after that. Back when they all came walzing in the fortress with their own weight in trophies from killed dwarves hanging from their necks and every engraver subconciously seemed to know that they were vampires.

This is my best story from YEARS ago.

>First real fort
>Everything running smoothly enough
>Got a militia, farms, kitchens, etc.
>Super fucking proud
>Suddenly snatcher appears inside fort
>Grabs a kid and stabs a dog
>He makes it to the edge of the screen
>Militia commander goes berserk
>Kid and dog both belonged to her
>Murders militia in their sleep
>Becomes a whirlwind of gore as she tears shit up through the fort
>Countless conscripts fall before her
>Entire fort is dead except for doctor and his patient
>She breaks into the hospital, kills the patient and drops dead
>what
>Check combat log
>With one punch the doctor had sent her head clear across the room
>Proceeds to clean up the fort and put the bodies in caskets
>He's fucking chipper to boot
>Hangs out and waits till next migrant wave
>My face

Fuck me it is still my best df story.

Strange things happen when a civilization conquers sites during a war, turns them into members of their own civilization and then proceeds to getting their own arses kicked during another war and suddenly 90% of their population consists of goblins pretending to be elves.

...

>Goblin Chief: I heard you struck my son

>Other Goblin: Yes, Chief, I did.

>and may I ask why?

>Yeah, well, because he stole the Dwarf Militia Commander's son, sir, and, uh, killed her dog.

>Oh.

>I must leave

kekd

Never could really get into the game. I tried a couple different unsuccessful runs but there is one that was the last nail in the coffin. I still don't know how this could happen, yet it did.

>Start new site
>Everything fine
>Send out fishermen to somewhere.
>Get four dwarves to do shit like pick flowers and logs or some shit.
>Get the real dwarves to mine a base.
>Everthing normal
>Sit back, relax and watch some dwarves do mine bidding.
>Thats when it happens.
>Fucking elves or elephants or some shit (they were an e) appear from out of nowhere.
>murder-rape my fake dwarves outside the mine.
>What the fuck
>Can't do shit the dwarves just die infront of my eyes. Wierd shit pops up on screen like how they die.
>The e's walk a little south.
>OHSHITWHEREISTHEFISHERMEN
>Search.
>Cannot find.
>Oh fuck, got two dwarves trapped underground by the evil e's soon to starve.
>Then the e's migrate. They start moving towards the entrance.
>Oh no you didn't hoe.
>Tell favourite dwarf to go and block off the entrance.
>Strays too far.
>Gets ripped to shred building the wall.
>Last dwarf standing.
>Load him up with the coolest shit available (think maybe explosives not sure though)
>This will be heroic last stand.
>Won't survive but will take a fucker or two with him.
>Gets up stairs.
>Sees dead body.
>Message pops up that the dwarf breaks down in fear and depression.
>Get another vivid description of his suicide.
>Is this it?
>Wait a little.
>Think about abandoning the fortress.
>Then it happens.
>The fisherdwarf comes back.
>Walks up to the e's.
>Walks off into the distance with them.
>MFW it was an inside job the whole time.

I've always wanted to run a one tile fortress, but I never find any cotton candy when I do, and without it nothing provides a real challenge

I tried to get into it, made a fort, followed the guides, but eventually it just got boring. Other than that one child who got all the blood drained from their body and the clumsy ten year olf who tried to create a masterwork and went crazy, nothing has happened. I had a happy population of over 100 self sufficient dorfs, none of this crazy shit i have heard of, just a couple elven traders. I got bored and stopped.

The adventure mode was fun, but slow. I felt like once my dorf got a couple of buddies, i wasnt sure how to progress.

convince me to start playing again

1) 100 dwarves is smalltime. Keep going.
2) Pick a more interesting/FUN embark location. Are you a bad enough dorf to survive in Evil lands or on the tundra?
3) Megaprojects are classic
4) Drained blood means you've got a vamp problem; time to go Holy Inquisition and root them out
5) Build a huge army; hunt exotic beasts.
6) Make your dorfs specialize in something besides granite earrings; set up a silk sweatshop operation and corner the clothing market.
7) New version has taverns that draw in travelers and adventurers from all round; some will inevitably bring trouble with them.

How can anyone play this game?

It's horrifically slow, The graphics don't tell what the hell the item/resource is, I can't tell whether or not designation is working, And there are no civilisations on any map that I've generated even when I've selected the option!

No-one? Honestly?
I demand an answer.

Extreme autism, poor user interface, and a more in-depth world than most AAA RPGs except it's all randomly generated. Sprinkle in a little more autism, and a shitton of psychopathy, and you have Dwarf Fortress.

It's basically a random trauma generator.

Lazy newb pack with a good texturepack.
If that fails you should go and play gnomoria.

...

You're missing the point of Dwarf Fortress. It's incredibly easy to actually win the game, making a self-sustaining fort full of uncaring, self-perpetuating psychopaths that is immune to invasions and megabeasts is not hard, but it is boring.

The point of the game is to lose with style. Embark next to three goblin towers. Don't wall of your entrance. Build a lava moat with adamantine ballista towers. Make a pit full of vampires. Mine into hell and then colonise it. Build a 100 layer tall tower and then pretend to be Sauron. Capture a pair of dragons to breed.

Just start a fort in a cool biome, and keep on trucking until you spiral down into oblivion

You just aren't autistic enough, sorry.

The taverns will definitely change the effectiveness of the McUrist's I enjoy making.

I just try to build a large tower and specialize in food production. Effectively just a giant restaurant. It was funny to think of traveling merchants traveling hundreds of miles towards this distance tower to trade goods and make money. Only for them to be greeted by a waitress asking what they'll have to eat

Awful UI, lots of psychopathy, randomly made history of whole world, fort-building, watching as dwarves and their enemies die in droves, clowns, keas stealing your anvil, atom-smashers and so on...
Till you learn the game and it becomes easy as fuck.

Recently just finished my first (sorta) real fort.
Went along swimmingly enough for quite a while but then I noticed a lot of my dwarfs were angry or in distress. I ignored it for a while but then one of the dwarfs went on a killing spree which, of course, made me start investigating to see what was wrong. Eventually, I found out they were getting pissed because they didn't have any alcohol.
Needless to say, I tried my hardest to get them their booze but the fort ended up getting destroyed by alcohol deprived dwarfs.

Remember: Your Dwarves can survive without water, given enough alcohol.

Turn off Plump Helmet use in the kitchens; Plump Helmets eaten raw or used to distill Dwarven Wine produce spores you re-plant, but cooking the mushroom destroys them, whittling down and eventually destroying your entire supply.

Have a few nice carvings around the place and a lot of dwarves are fine eating nothing but cold raw 'shrooms and drinking nothing but 'shroom wine for years.

>What am I in for?
A fucking learning cliff.
Then a plateau once you know what you're doing.
Then more cliffs as you set things up.
Then a nice working fortress that will run itself for decades.
Then a horrendous catastrophe.

>Fun!
I embarked.
I had no trees.
I had no iron.
I had no magma located.
I had next to no dwarves.
I had a dog chained in the main corridor to outside, to stop kobolds stealing shit.
The human diplomat visited, minus a foot.
The mayor was too busy running the fort.
The meeting eventually happened.
The diplomat left.
The diplomat went bezerk on the way out.
The dog chained next to him tore him to shreds.
War was declared.
Four fucking years of siege, while I trained an army of about six dwarves and equipped them with copper and bone armour.
Four years of no traders, as I struck for magma and set up forges and trained smiths and mined ore.
Then I fought back. The gates were opened, the cavalry was engaged, and the battle was fight.
Two dead dwarves, horse meat roast for months, human skull totems for the next caravan.
They came again, and I fought them again. Then, nothing.
And nothing.
And nothing.
And then, nearly a decade after the initial declaration, there came a sight o'er the desert.
A human caravan, sheepishly entering the trade depot and setting up, as if nothing was wrong.

Fun

As time passed, I got complacent. I required a Project.
Obsidian casting was started, and successful. Artifacts were created. Eventually, I made a moat and filled it with lava. That was a Mistake.

First of all, I heard that lignite blocks were ever-burning if thrown into a magma-proof bin and ignited with magma. I threw one into the lava moat, and it burned. For three years, until I pumped water overhead and put it out.
Then goblins invaded. A champion twice-over, with a pair of artifacts on him. He dodged into the moat and died a fiery death, but the smoke persisted. Artifacts don't undergo wear, and his were flammable. More water, more obsidian, and he was given a hero's burial.

Then I got arrogant. I dug deep, I struck adamantine. I carved it out, carefully. I made adamantine equipment for the military, and kept training champions to fight the goblins, planning for the inevitable.
Then... Then we broke through. The scene was pretty awful, but then it happened. Spirits of Fire.
2/3 of the military burned to death. Artifacts ignited and smoked, and the fort neared a critical point.
Then, a heroine appeared. Her name will be remembered forever; Cerol Kodroder. A swordmaster.
She killed five spirits of fire single-handedly, saved the remainder of the militia, and the fort from a fiery death. She was granted the title of 'Demonslayer' and a fancy room.
Then started the hard work.

Artifacts burned in the mines. A good third of the fort had burned to death or died in berserk rages, or was depressed and starving to death. Husbands, wives, friends, children, beloved pets.
The fires were put out with bucket teams braving the choking smoke to extinguish the burning leather quiver, among other things. This had previously been recovered from that accursed lava moat.
The finest food was created and consumed. The walls were engraved with scenes of death and heroism. The captives were freed from the demon laid, and promptly butchered because they'd burned to death as soon as the demons spawned. Bodies, often rotten, were buried.
The last of the adamantine was mined, and public works were created to improve the mood of the fortress. We had done the unthinkable, and conquered the forces of hell.
We then proceeded to use the pits to hell itself as a garbage dump, after draining water into them for a few months.

Such was the saga of Balanceship.

Pictures screencapped from Visual Fortress, now defunct because it didn't make the jump from 40d.
The extended green platform is an olivine archery tower and walkway. The grey is rhyolite, the white is alunite.
The small green and light grey platforms to the sides of the archery tower are greenhouse roofs; green glass and clear glass respectively to allow above-ground crops to grow underground.

Of course, when the overseer grew bored once again, the issue of cave adaptation had to be addressed. Specifically, the vomit when collecting goblin corpses and equipment, which was by now the sole source of iron.
Goblinite: The fourth iron ore!

The problem was addressed simply. Cave adaptation is the birthright of a dwarf, after all, and yet it was noticed that it was only the sunlight that caused a reaction, rather than fresh air.
A plan was developed, while the fortress' likenesses were engraved on the walls. (I didn't screencap the skytower or sunblocker.) An obsidian tower, reaching to the sky, with a roof extended to cover the surrounding area and block out the sun.
A full eighth of the local area was covered by the time of the next siege. Surprisingly, cleanup was mostly vomit-free, so the roof was extended further.
It was up to a quarter by the time I stopped with the fort.

I'm thinking dramatic reading.

Alright. I got this newb pack, but what textures and could someone link me some basics?

And I thought Rimworld is exciting.. Guys.. Help the newb.

Get good.
Read the wiki.

I haven't touched it for a few years.

I built a lava turbocharger using pumps so I could dig out distribution channels and make lava landmines with hatches but the test firing had the lava coming out faster than it could flow sideways. I had a four z-level high cone of lava before any of my lazy dorfs pulled the emergency shut-off. Ended up damming the river.

It'd be fun to give it a shot again.

>Turn off Plump Helmet use in the kitchens; Plump Helmets eaten raw or used to distill Dwarven Wine produce spores you re-plant, but cooking the mushroom destroys them, whittling down and eventually destroying your entire supply.
This fucking vexed me for months and stopped me from getting into the game for a long time
It may be the single most important piece of Dwarf Fortress advice

Unironically, textures are for plebs. Learn to love the ASCII. It becomes like second nature.
If you have to, use ironhand or Phoebus. It might be easier to learn using a texture pack. Essentially, you just have to take the plunge. Fuck around in the game. Put the fear of fucking up out of your mind, and once you run into a problem you can't figure out, look it up or look through the wiki.

This was one of the most !!Fun!! ends I've had to a fort

>DFHack still not out for the latest version

Reeeeeee

Can you explain this to someone who doesn't dorf fortress? I mostly come to these threads to read the stories. I'm assuming he's a vamp or something?

>tfw when you make it on a screencap

I shouldn't be this proud of myself

I love the game, but the interface is horrible. If toady could just streamline that (and the military screen) I'd be so happy.

>Decide to do a little combat training
>Send commander to fight giant snakes outside our walls
>He forgets his weapon
>Decide to watch and see what happens
>They start fighting
>Suddenly I see bones go flying in every direction
>Fear the worst for my commander
>"oh fuck what happened"
>Combat log shows that the commander struck the snake so hard in the face that his teeth exploded out
>Proceeds to wrestle it to the ground and kill it by breaking its face
>Make sure that he gets those new giant snakeskin boots as a gift

Dorfs are hardier than I give them credit for.

That's impossible though. The very autism that allows Toady to make such an off-the-wall world simulator automatically precludes him from being able to create a functional interface.

>Guys.. Help the newb.
You're gonna have to be waaaaaaaaay more specific.

Can't swear to this, but I think it's a megabeast contaminant individually fucking over every single meticulously tracked part of him via blistering and swelling with his own blood.

I love it when artists go insane and you end up with a mural of angry dwarves, on fire, screaming at sad-looking elephant, also on fire.

I love this kind of shit. I wonder though, was it the Elves that conquered the Goblins, or vice-versa?

That was a dwarf and is now essentially a living blister in the general shape of a dwarf, but is somehow not dead at the moment of the screenshot, the poor bastard.

Oh, contaminants are fun

I don't know if it still works this way, because I haven't played in a few versions, but I recall I had a dwarf who was rolling around in forgotten beast vomit or some shit and caught some kind of hyper-leprosy, to the point where every single bit of skin and flesh was rotting right off him.

The surgeons didn't give a fuck. They took it all off and fixed him.

Now, since he didn't have any flesh to bleed from, he was mostly immune to anything that wasn't bludgeoning. Sucks to be an elven archer when a dwarf made of cartilage charges over the hill and your arrows do FUCKING NOTHING, and then you get smacked so hard you fly 20 feet off a cliff and explode because he's using an artifact platinum hammer with legendary skill.

So... he was a skeleton dwarf?

Nah, still had tendons and shit

The forgotten beasts in this game can be pretty cool. Here's a picture of one I got from a drawthread a few years ago

get good scrub i;ve been playing since 2010

>play dwarf fortress like a 4x game. you must out resource goblins, and out build them by building as large and well armed a fortresses as possible. eventually surrounding goblin towers in a convoluted game of go.

You useless /v/ulture.

Yeah lava id a bitch to weaponize to an somehow accurate weapon.
Had a similiar idea, swiftly became the nuke option

i feel like i never get cool FBs

Does anyone have the latest Lazy Newb tile pack? When I go to download it from the website the .zip file is missing.

Dragon Age version when?
I want dwarves being turned into golems.

Suffering

>Friend is over my place
>Parents are gone for the weekend
>We've been drinking and watching movies
>Mention Dorf
>Start to show her how to play
>Standing over her
>Reach down to the keyboard
>Accidentally graze past her nipple
>Try to ignore it
>She's looking up at me
>Asks me to come closer
>We kiss
>Make a joke about feeling her up
>"Well, to be fair, there was a shirt in the way..."
>She takes her top off
>We climb onto my bed
>Lose my virginity
>Relationship never goes anywhere, but we stay friends
>Currently 5 years later and we still laugh that my seduction was through Dorf

My second (proper) fort had human diplomat who was eventually killed after he murdered again in another visit, chase around my tunnels was funny to watch.
Also had human citizen who become resident but I knew he was vampire because game told me when he visited. I let him to see what happen and gave him some punishment for murders , he spend some time in jail and had some beating and now just walking around and spam task cancellation due injury.
Another one was dwarf migrant who become queen due succession. However she keeps murdering people and I had to punish her and most time she spend in jail, what is funny have queen of dorf realm being in jail so much.

>He doesn't want his wizard powers.

I know this is really fucking stupid, but i downloaded the game yesterday and I can't get it to start. Whenever i fire up the .exe some window opens and closes in a second and then nothing happens. What am I doing wrong?

Use Starter Pack (previously called Lazy Newb Pack).

Where can you find the current version? All the links I'm getting from Google are dead.

Okay, so I cured my own stupidity by looking at the wiki, but now I have another problem. Now when I start the game it tells me that the art for the curses is missing, but when I look into the folder they are there. What do?

DF wiki should have working links.
I didn't played in months, perhaps things are diffrent now.

Anyway to play it (with use of full DFHack) is better to use older version of game itself what is compatible with latest DFHack to make game msot playable.

The most FUN I've had was on my first fortress, which was destroyed single handedly by one forgotten beast.

Seriously, I wasn't ready for that. My dorfs had already defeated titans, but that thing slaughtered 100+ dwarfs (and a human caravan) in about two minutes or so. It was bloody and mangled by the end of it, but I think that the wounds only made it more pissed, because it never slowed down.

Nothing has happened yet, But I can't find any water so I abandoned the map.

this

the most fun i've had was listening to the track over and over

FUN! (Millions of incomprehensible swear words).

>more in-depth world than most AAA RPGs
>most
>AAA
>RPGs

How are any "AAA" "RPGs" more in depth than Dwarf Fortress? Running around following arrow pointers and quest markers, picking up collectables, mashing the left mouse key like a spastic when an enemy appears? Real high bar you're setting there.

There's practically zero complexity to playing and all the effort in designing the things goes into rendering pretty graphics.

My sides are in orbit.

What stats it had, because thats important. Animal made of gas or liquid is no trouble. But flying mosnter what grab, bite, fly , breath fire, shoot webs and is made of metal is just doom of fort.

I wouldn't trust Sigur, I feel like she may be lying.

bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=159240

One click off the DF forums.
Which are also a highly useful resource. The community's actually pretty helpful because the game is so arcane.

I mean, maybe it's a coincidence, but isn't it a little suspicious that Sigur and Ezumkra are never in the same room?

Been a while

> Start new fort
> Begin digging for first cave for underground (read safe) grazing grounds, using "X" stairs
> Cave was very close to the surface, didn't have time to branch in order to seal
> "Oh well".jpg
> First autumn, Forgotten beast
> 8-eyed firebreathing raven of flesh
> Monitor it carefully
> Seems to wander a lot aimlessy
> Besides, a small opening in the roof of the cave doesn't seem that exposed.

> Nope

> Beast end up attacking
> Form a quick squad of my miners and woodcutter
> Send waves of dwarves, just picking the picks and axe and attacking
> Beast severely wounded, but last dwarf dying
> About to abandon fort, meh, might as well see it die for once
> Migration wave
> Send them wave after wave to finish of the beast
> Firebreath is OP
> Beast incapacitated, dying
> Beast dies instants before the last dwarf
> "Won" against the forgotten beast, Summer of year 2, with about 15 untrained dwarves

Also:

Just like Sweden in 100 years.

> UristMcClane

If you refuse the honor, and trouble, to be part of the mountainhomes, after a while, something like this might happen.

Here is the story latest hrecruit managed to single-handedly kill Usmraz, the giant forgotten mite.

>Orurdim was a fisherman when in the fortress of Wirebrightness.
>Hhe wanted a change of pace and decided to join the army.
>But as soon as he took his hammer in hand, a terrible beast came from underground, leaving in her wake a sea of blood and dwarf brain matter.
>The champion, a Legendary axelord known as "The Unmovable" went to fight the skull-crushing creature but she, and her squad, got trapped in the webs the terrible creature shot at them.
>They all died, skulls crushed, before even try to hit it once.
>The other trained squads followed them in death.
>The beast still unscathed.
>It was the turn of Orurdim recruit squad.
>Most of the recruit knew the same fate
>But not Orurdim.
>He stood in front of the beast.
>And hit it in the head
>The beast fell down.

From then, Orurdim was known as "King David".

Completely this, also dubs

I'm not even sure what the funniest part about that is.
The Giant Lion missing you, but still knocking you over or the lion immediately dying of old age.

I must admit I was a bit pissed, as it wasn't recorded as being my kill, despite the wounds. So it's a quest I could never complete.

Although I hate it for fortress mode, Masterwork is incredibly fun for adventure mode.

Sounds more like Orks instead of Dorfs.

Funny you should say that, because if I remember correctly, the canon for dorf fortress is hat they reproduce using spores.