Alright boys, my players recently left a mission with a crate full of 100 unidentified potions that they pilfered from an alchemist shop. I could have each one roll on a random number chart that I have, but I'd like to see what you guys come up with.
100 potion effects, make them wild, make them crazy.
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In all honesty, a "crate" full means most of them are the same kind. Maybe make them 25 of a kind each?
They are aphrodisiacs. All of them.
Make the party drink them and then fade to black for 6 in game days.
They wake up sore and totally feeling violated and pissed on.
I guess it would be important to know that these potions belonged to a novice super villain (it's a science fiction campaign) called the "Perfumigator". These are probably deadly, or have strange effects due to his methods of attack; perfume based grenades. It's a very silly, but deadly campaign.
angelfire.com
Use this chart.
Rolled 609 (1d1000)
Genderfluid potion
Repulsive: Caster becomes magnetically repulsive for d20 rounds. Metallic objects cannot be brought closer than 5 feet; any ferrous items on the caster are repelled and go flying.
Apply this affect to the drinker
Turbo Age: Character converts their stats into those of the first edition of whatever system it is you're running (If D&D, all thr way back to OD&D; Pathfinder, you go back to D&D 3.5, ect.).
If the character is completely unable to be converted (i.e. is a race that didn't exist, has a class that didn't exist) they completely cease to exist.
>Troll Piss
cover yourself in Troll Piss to gain a +5 bonus to stealth checks in the woods
Since there are no more thiefs, magic-users and fighting men I guess it's just a killing potion.
An unlabeled potion that allows the transmutation of any solid matter into gold for an hour, but only while the drinker is singing
Recreational hallucinogenic, deliriant, or dissociative potions with no other effects (make up effects or draw inspiration from literature on Datura, Ayahuasca, Shrooms, LSD, eaten Hashish, ect)
A potion that temporarily teleports the imbiber to (insert nonsensical, absurd, eldritch, non euclidean, ass-backwards dimension here)
A potion that allows communication with animals, but renders all communication with humans impossible
A potion that turns one's teeth into projectile weapons
A potion that grants flight, fast healing, and a massive armor bonus at the cost of the player having to describe their actions in real time and go with the first thing they say for the duration
The drinker must take several shots OOC and play drunk
The visual effects would be them slowly regressing back through whatever was stereotypical of that class until they hit an edition where they have no equivalent and just poof out of existence.
Techincally, a rogue, fighter, and wizard would survive, since those are the direct desendents of those classes,
Taking a page out of my brother's OSR potions,
Globby Potion: User starts vomiting1d8 random slime monsters, each taking their respective hp out of the user's.
Penis enlargement potion.
Only the senile alchemist who created it forgot the parameters of what a penis is, so anything near the imbiber that is vaguely long and blunt will get bigger. And maybe more phallic. So better keep the chaste Cleric's +3 Holy Mace far away from this potion.
>809
>Money
>All copper pieces within 30 feet of caster are changed into gold pieces, and vice versa.
I love it.
They wake up sore and totally feeling violated and pissed on.
>rogue
The Thief was added in a (bad) supplement, and is not core.
Rolled 86 (1d100)
A potion that repairs, revitalizes, and moisturizes one's hair. It also has a side-effect of causing your hair to grow an inch every day for 1d100 days, for the purpose of styling it to your preferred length.
In fact why not make all the potions beauty products? There's bigger market in those than potions of fire resistance etc. after all.
Potions of potionmaking. Gives a +5 to checks to create potions.
Potion of Scatman
Makes it effortless to take a shit. Evert had a effortless shit? It just comes right out and puts a large dookey in your shorts. (It takes effect after a short while, so it's not impeding gameplay but a 'ha ha' moment while 'trying' potions. You have four, with a fifth golden potion making all the hair on your 'face' (sideburns, beard, mustashe and spirt-tuft) fall out. Neckbeard remains.
>Implying that the Potion of Scatman doesn't allow you to enter Scatman's World
Ipecac. At least 10 bottles.
Perfume that attracts wildlife.
One that allows mindreading, but makes you completely deaf and mute (for a week).
Hair growth tonic.
Cures for some random diseases
imo just make most of them benign beverages
-and don't be one of those fuckboys who immediately tells them what the effect is upon use.
>i drink the blue one
>"for the next year, you can speak to squids."
Please, for everyone's sake, leave some shit to discovery
I'd get a reach weapon like a halberd and become an unapproachable god of melee.
Permanent Animal Magnetism, but only for predatory ones and mutants. Roll a d100 below 40 to see if they're friendly.
I'M CALLING OUT FROM SCATLAND
Can I get a quick rundown on this merchant's potions?
The groundhog one gets me every time.
strong enough to kill a man, let alone a beast
Get shot, you faggots.
>A potion that makes you think you have an extra arm
>A dense, strongly flavored potion that forces you to be in the same mood and focus for the next week
>a frothy potion that causes you to repel dirt and filth
>an expired potion that allows you to see four minutes into the future. Causes headaches.
>a creamy potion that makes your blood ignite when exposed to air.
>A potion labeled 'drink me' that psychically imparts basic potion safety rules, like "don't drink strange potions", onto the drinker
>a potion that allows you to see the stars, even during the day. Also allows you to see the nonexistent "lines" in constellations. Oh, and your eyes are dark blue now.
>A multicolored potion that produces tattoos of the symbol of whatever the drinker is loyal to all across their body
>A potion that turns your teeth a blindingly reflective chrome color
>a foul tasting potion that causes either a deep fear or love of the last place they visited
>A potion that makes everything look dreary to the imbiber. Also cures depression.
>Unhealth Potion (it's sewage)
Let's start with some classics:
>One potion will just switch your sex.
>One potion will completely nullify your Inertia for 20 minutes.
>One potion will double your weight every 6 hours.
>One potion will make the drinker no longer dependant on water to survive, but he will instead need alcohol. (It will still get you drunk)
>One potion will make you grow an extra eye in the forefront.
Other kinds:
>The potion may seem without effect at first, but after a while, they will feel a really strong urge to defecate, the fecal matter will be normal, but after 1 hour it will start to grow and become anthropomorphic, if not stopped, after half a hour it will become one exact copy of the drinker, with all his memories, stats and such.
>The potion will make the drinker look upon the sky, always smiling, but not in a way to would make you unable/hard to talk, every phrase the drinker would say would have an over the top happy and laughing tone. The drinker hands will lay on his low torso, in a satisfied-like manner, and they wouldn't be able to be moved for 1d6 days.
>This potion will make everything the drinker says useless and unimportant on other people ears, and every single feat he will make for the next 1d6 days, no matter how difficult or heroic it would be, it will seem like child's play in the eyes of everyone witnessing it, even if it, for example, involves slaying a god.
>This potion will make the drinker aware of the location of a treasure, and it will make you do everything to get to that treasure, the only problem is that this treasure is really distant, like other half of the world kind of distant, and really hard to obtain.
>The drinker will feel the urge to gather certain ingredients to brew a certain kind of potion, he also gains the entire knowledge on how to prepare it but, he doesn't know what the potion will do. If not stopped the character will create the potion effortlessly. This new potion will make you repeat this process if drinked.
>183, a phantom footman turns up and offers his help.
If this was permanent it would be cool.
I get that it's funny, but what's your in-game justification for why the alchemist had 100 unlabeled bottles on hand?
>what are missiletoe darts.
Outright spell-like effects like wouldn't be very fitting, a potion isn't a scroll.
If this is an alchemist's shop, it's likely that the majority of these potions do nearly nothing, needed more ingredients before they could be sold, and mostly taste fucking weird. So what about using that Underdark mushroom effects table?
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Potions of Addiction. They provide a minor buff to the stat of your choice and feelings of euphoria. That's just the side effects though. These potions were made to be addictive. Once a user becomes addicted he needs to drink one every 1-3 days or he starts to suffer withdrawal symptoms.
Tempory animal magnetism for 2d6 days, except the magnetism is literal rather than metaphorical.
> 100 potion effects, make them wild, make them crazy.
dandwiki.com
Maybe somebody else looted them and he was trying to identify and possibly reverse engineer the potions.
Bottles of dye. They will permanently change the color of anything that isn't glass, including your body.
Cures for various diseases, including unhygienic dental practices. Grow your teeth back!
Medical Gorilla Glue: Do not drink, apply only to external wounds. May be used to help graft a limb back on.
Anti-acne.
A cure for bad eyesight.
Potions that make you smell nice. Your shit will indeed smell like flowers.
About 10 of them should be poison
A good chunk of health potions, minor, medium, or major
1 is just absinthe
1 Raises DEX by 1 and lowers CON by 1 (potion of grace?)
Growth Potions, ie you drink it and grow an inch over the next month or so, with growing pains and increased appetite
Berserk Potions that lower your INT to 1 but boost STR and give temporary HP
A potion that gives a temporary bonus to poison saves (or Fortitude if you are a fag who doesn't play adnd)
1 that is literally just colloidal silver
1 that reverses age by d6 years
potions that permanently lower or raise a stat by a minor amount, just don't have too many of these
A potion that makes you throw up and gives you insane diarrhea for a day (used to get rid of parasites)
An intense sleeping draught that puts you into a coma for a day or two
A potion that regrows lost limbs (or grows a new one if there's nothing to regrow)
The classic genderbender potion in a cock shaped bottle
A caffeine potion that makes you unable to sleep for the next two days at least
one that promotes hair growth (head and body hair, in both genders)
and basically potion viagra
Of course, the alchemist couldn't read common, so all the labels are some strange hieroglyphics or terribly drawn pictures, if indeed there are labels at all
So just fighters and wizards, then.
Why does the potion seller look like Herny's Marina?
The labels are all obviously completely meaningless nonsense to someone who isn't an alchemist.
Stuff like
>Zendor's brew, drink-of-the-three-winds, old dragon's broth, sublimated elixir, Sarandian specialty
also unidentifiable abbreviations like
>D. of V. F., LQDLK and P°µ.
Either way, names that gives nearly no clue to what you're ingesting.