Mages Guild: Renovating the Archives Edition

I mean, the old ones were pretty easy to glue back together.
It's why reformation magic exists. But yeah, you've got a point
No you cannot keep that couch, that thing is a legendary relic

Wait, my chair fell to its death?
Is that what you are saying?

What's this about my pillow fort?

Thats what they said when people summoned in the cafeteria! Thus we moved to the archives as a secondary focal for our circles.

Whats wrong with the fort?
It didnt do any harm

I, for one, am extremely worried about this turn of events. With this breach, the students could even reach my creator's workshop and find the requirements for creating new forms for me.

Okey, then I wo- WAIT. It´s alegendary relic? You guys keep that stuff literally everywhere! What if it had been also destroyed?

I don´t know. Wouldn´t people go missing after a while?

I thought we already did that. As far as I'm aware it goes forever, downwards.
Never said fixing them was hard, it's just a waste of time and resources to do it. Imagine if we didn't lose a table a day as I seem to recall the average being.
Unless you are able to recover it from the rubble, yes, unfortunately.

we're rebuilding the archives, so move your stupid looking pillow fort out of them!

I don't like it.

Also more pinball machines. OH and blackjack tables. OH and street corners for people to find hookers on!

Well that is simply an outrage, it will take me SECONDS to make a new one!

..Could you not find those in the nearest town?

You could do with some siblings
It's not getting destroyed anytime soon, trust me. Greater evils have tried
They could train them to not destroy tables, or we could take the geomancy route and have all our tables made of stone

>A part of the room explodes then collapses.
>A figure steps out of the rubble with his head looking towards the floor.
Hello again, I'm back after being cast into the warp, Turns out that migraine was a psychic trap.
>Psychus counts how many fingers he has.
>Psychus looks up and sees the damage.
What happened in my absence!?

I suppose that is an improvement then... Is it the abundance of people that makes it a good focal point?
For an item that old, and that has survived among us to become that old? For such an item to break is almost inconceivable.

It's not stupid looking.

You're stupid looking!

I can agree with your pinball machines. But game tables and hookers?
Is that not a bit far Jill?

Whole archives collapsed in on it's self
Downwards
Yeah it's gone

that's not the point

bitch i'm flawless.

No, not really

We should have a big cage full of pigeons.
No real reason.

You got to tell me the story another time. Or, forgive the pun, is it archived anywhere?

I´d prefer to salvage all the information from the rubble.

Enchant it so that you can easily find an exit.

I mean the actual Archives, not the Deep Archives.
But yeah, the Deep Archives does that, I think.

There is a point to this, Carmina.
It'd be great to get your fort out of the Archives so there are less redrobes thinking they can attack it.

...I agree with that and I don't know why
Well it was archived, but now the archive is down there
So if you want the tale you had better start the desent into the deep archives
Nobody ever found the bottom you know

Oh dear, Is my department still functioning?

With that outfit?

Hmm, fair enough.

Fortunately, the floor under it is intact, so it's all on one solid piece of ground to move.

That would be a solutoin.

Someone helped me explore down there a bit once. I should venture down there again. I hope it´s selfproclaimed archivist or what he called himself again didn´t got hit in the desaster.

What was your department again?
...You went down there?
Whats it like? Dark?

Better to make a new one than to look through the rubble then. I myself will need to get a new chair and table for my archive visits. Though fortunately, since I've learned how little respect some apprentices have for furniture, I got replacements already.
Stone tables might last longer, unless they decide to take it as a challenge.
Depends on when you left, most recently we lost the archives. But it should be renovated and ready to use by the time this meeting is over again.
It probably is. If not, then I'm sure there is someone here old enough to tell it. Personally I joined the guild to late to know it first hand, I spent my apprentice years collapsed on that couch after quite a few of my exams.
In that case, yes, I suppose we could afford to make it a little bigger. Although it's already quite a lot bigger than the outside of the guild would indicate.

That is of little concern, few of the students have the capability to create life as complex as me. I am worried that, as my creator put it before his death, "those perverted kids might get stupid ideas", while he referred to transmutation class incidents and demon summoning farces as reference points to the past. They could, with enough time and luck even manage to create new shapes and commands for me, which is highly against regulations. As the sole member of the shapeshifting library faculty, this greatly concerns me.

Ah, yes, I picked up on that. Which is why my furniture attacks whomever wishes to vandalize them.

Head of Telemancy, Although I fear I will need to reinstate myself first.
Unless my department has closed down in my absence.

So you would be the one we speak to concerning our scryV subscriptions no longer working?

Would you say they are mainly for materials or for target practice?
I would imagine so, my department survived the collapse, and we're right next to it. We did lose a couple of labs however. Though the open areas are perhaps a chance to expand when we rebuild.
Ah, yes that does seem like a solution. Maybe I should return to using undead furniture so mine can do the same. Normally I find bone decor a bit tasteless, not to mention a waste of skeletons, but I suppose I could make an exception in this case.

I only went a few etages down from here. Then I had to go up again. It get more dangerous the more down you go. I was attacked by a few monstrosities. I think I saw some sort of magical worms amongst the books. Not apleasant sight.

Well, I will be looking for it later.
...
This couch IS comfy.

Right, I gotcha. Enchanted stone tables
That'll give them a challenge
Well what if you were the one to find all that stuff
You could make a whole bunch of yous to help run the library
I imagine they all took the week off

Anyplace you'd like to move the fort to?

An excellent solution, if I say so myself.

Yes, but there never seems to be enough room, does it?
And concerning the tables, why not just enchant them to repair themselves?

Talk to a witch about that, I'm here to ensure the collective mind of the guild remains undisturbed by warp threats and certain creatures.

Time for a recruitment drive!

I lasted a whole year in the warp, Makes sense if it was a week here.

I'm not sure to be honest. The archives were so convenient.

Since the "rejection incident" it has been marked in the rules that I am forbidden to use magic lest I have to clean up after myself once I have reformed enough flesh to maintain my utility form.

I was not aware we had any issues originating from that particular direction.

It certainly is.
Also while we are at it. Do you think we could make dedicated storage for the undead sentries my department has been providing to the archives? Up until now they have just been laying in crates all over the place.
If they repaired themselves then I'm sure there would always be some apprentice breaking it just to see it return to normal. I can just imagine the noise, smash, fix, smash, fix. Urgh...
Must be disorienting. I know it is for me whenever I'm returned from the dead. The Realm of the Dead has a similar issue with how time passes.

Magical bookworms? Yikes
Well you could allways try to get the old staff and students back as well
Thats pretty boring, ask for the rules to be changed. Get some freedom!
So YOU'RE the reason the archives smells like rot.
Yeah sure, dedicated storage that the smell doesn't leak from, i'm game

I think they'd be good for either. Totally not for eating though. Definitely.

I´m going to prepare for another trip downatairs then. Anyone willing to take care of my stormcloud for me? I´m not taking her with me there. Might leave her here in the archives.

Apparently they eat knowledge. Not the knowledge in the books, mind you.

I should remind you that depending on the amount of flesh I have accumulated, there is a serious risk of injury, suffocation and being crushed by the compressed mass being released during the explosion.

Damn big guy! I haven't seen you before!
What's your thing?

It's really meant for making people comply with the guilds wishes, I could enlist the help of the locals.
Provided they aren't Dwarves Orcs or Goblins.

It was certainly interesting, Without my training I would've almost certainly been consumed.

Not me specifically, but yes, that is mainly the fault of my department. I keep insisting on non-decaying and fully cleaned skeletons but they keep sending the low grade rotting zombies half the time anyway.

And yes, if we had dedicated storage for the sentries that would probably cut down on the smell.
Very well, then I see no problem with supporting this odd addition. It's always good to keep additional resources on hand after all, even if I'm not sure how much use I would get out of them.

I am Quei, a multipurpose flesh-construct normally assigned to library duty. Depending on what shape I have been commanded to take, I may appear human, or become more effective for specific purposes: for example, I have 8 different combat forms for defending guild property, and each of them has several variants for more specific circumstances.

That is scary, ok we've got to patch the hole in the floor as soon as possible
Good point, maybe you should stick to solo bookwork
See bones are way scarier that zombies, use that department leadership of yours and keep those rotten idiots out of the new archives!

My department is always open.

Hm, true...

YEsssssss
Neat! I'm pelly. I turn things into other things. You wanna be a yeti?

Well, thank you for the offer.

But it's not that I have nowhere to put it, it's that it got so much traffic in the archives. It was good for business.

It is not within my construction to have desires of my own. I do as the headmaster, the masters and the faculty sees fit.

Oh I will. Actually, now that we're rebuilding the guard from near nothing I think I can single out whoever has been sending the zombies. I just need to device a fitting punishment for them once I find them.
Please don't make us regret supporting this addition.
I doubt you would find any better place than the archives to put it. Unless you can put it inside a corridor wall.

Yeah...
Well, might as well keep it there then if it's the best spot for it.

Oh you poor lamb, A weeks worth of damage.

Let me see if I can elevate your current intellect.

Does anyone have a spare living brain?

I have several.

I mean, it's not like there's a more populated place in the guild.

Now, about adding in a snack buffet....

Seems a little harsh, at least they sent somthing right?
See this guy knows what's up

Fantastic!
>Psychus rubs his hands with glee.
Let the mental restoration begin.....hopefully.

Do I have your consent for this operation?

I have a few rotting ones. They get left over when I clean corpses in preparation to turn them into skeletons.
There is the cafeteria, but last I checked we're not allowed to sell things there.
Seconded.
If there is something I've learned about running my department, it's that I need to be harsh to get things done.

I´m going through the hole first. Have a nice day.
>Waves goodbye and goes deeper.

You sound just like the students
And that moron who teaches "Advanced villany"
Seriously why is that even a module
Stay safe and alive!
...We're never going to see the poor bugger again

Which basically ruins my ability to run a business from there.

>Reads the last thoughts emanating from the brains.

It's a good thing I've seen worse before I read those.

Anyway, Those brains are incompatible for this operation, I need living brains for their growing psyches to regrow another.

Like grafting, But with minds.

Then it shall be moved to the reconstructed archives.

Perfect.
I think that's really all the votes of confidence we need with no votes against it!
Now the question of what snacks are provided.

Best of luck.
Because of what the students consider villainy makes us who have played the part look bad. Though in all honesty it's mostly a class on common sense, the name of the class is a way to pull in the worst offenders. Also, basic villainy is a punishment class... actually I might send the zombie makers there for their incompetence.
Very much so. On that note, how has business been in the archives?

What? Operation?! My minds the only part of the original me left, buzz off!

That it shall, then.

Pretty well, actually. I've been getting a decent number of orders, and I've even picked up a few apprentices.

Have it rotate through a different nationality of food each day
keep things interesting
Basic villainy is a form of punishment?
In what way?

As a dwarvish mage, I wish to ask ye one litle thing. I need some help supercharging some clans cannons, I've tried, but their gunpowder is very volatile and I blew up and caved a quarter of their laboratory. Please help.

Aye. Let me tell you fookin scrubs one thing, I remember fighting in the first wars against the Olrathi Zealots.

Have you tried dragonpowder insted?
Actually that would probably blow up the remaining three quarters...
Ignore me

>Psychus smirks.
Brain food?

I don't know what you're planning but I suggest you reveal to the guild who you are.

Ah, you see. The problem is that us dwarves are known for not being too into magic. I fought in the Beast Wars, where I single handedly destroyed 6,000 Beasts by summoning a spell of combustion.

A pity, I was hoping I would finally get rid of those.
Marus, do you have any use for rotting brains? Or for that matter, rotting flesh in general.
Preferably snacks that don't go bad if no one eats them for a while.
...they are not causing too much trouble I hope.
Anyone who needs to take it are too full of themselves to realise it. It's basically hammering home the basic fallacies those up and coming dark lords commit. Like revealing your plans to the hero, mind controlling a beast they cannot stop if it ever broke free, or underestimating animal companions.

Those who are likely to commit said mistakes often feel it's very demeaning to have to listen to such common sense. Fortunately some of them actually come out of it learning a thing or two.

Me! I was hired for a 50,000 Gelt contract for developing this! They are under attack by savage raiders from the Desolate Mountains.

Yes. Also, to respond, I also sharpened a sword and single handedly took down 500 soldiers with me and secured a fortress. I'm also a war veteran, not some newbie.

Sounds good.

We can always add in special flavors of snacks to rotate in on some days.

Magic.
And I want a rotation of jelly food on certain days.
Jellos, jelly beans, the works.

Thats... Excessive.
Ah, well with all due respect.
I don't think those classes are working, given the current state of the average necromancy student
I mean, the guild has always had a pretty good health record, we don't want the redrobes abusing this.
Methods to keep the hungry little blighters off?

Not that I know of, at the moment. I generate a fair amount.

Necromancy, eh. If you were in my guild, you would be tried and shot. Be careful with it, I remember there was a guy in my academy who tried necromancy and he became insane and killed his friends in some murder-suicide.

Oh, no, don't worry. They're all quite good little apprentices. Very well behaved.

Yes... I told you, their gunpowder isn't too refined, they lack the proper processes due to the fact that they're supply lines are being constantly raided.

Yes. The entire forest lit with the magical fires. I also took a spell of lightning and also a water spell. Their forces were decimated, and with my trusty sword and blunderbuss, Agronil and Thoriss, I led the charge. The beasts were quickly rerouted, we gave 'em a chance to surrender, but, they all committed ritualistic suicide. Even the women and the children. The snow ran red that day, and there were charred bodies everywhere.

I've seen worse.

Hm... an enchantment that keeps them away if they have visited the buffets more than five times over the span of twelve hours?

I would suggest some crisp vegetables if the proper preservation magic can be provided. And wild meats, farm animals has a quite predictable taste.
To be fair to the classes they were implemented recently. Though I agree that there hasn't been any noticeable improvement yet.
I'm aware of the danger but don't you worry, I'm weöö past the insanity stage of my lifespan as a necromancer. It helps that I spent most of that time of my life dead. I'm much better now however.
Lucky you then. Until recently I wasn't quite so fortunate.

Okay. My department has been deployed for reworking the architecture, and yes I'm making it so the giants don't have to duck.

...okay, it's mostly for Mort's sake, but still. You all best have the dosh for all the overtime we're racking up, though. Work of this scale on this kind of timeline doesn't come cheap.

Aye. I've seen children being murdered, raped, and thrown into a ditch by savage orks. I was 8.

I heard about that. Really weird kind of thing, to be honest.

Hello! My fort should still be hanging there on what little flooring is left, I locked it down but be careful with it.

Oh, well, it's nice to meet you!
>Gives hand