Five pound battleaxe hits you in the ribcage shattering six ribs and chopping straight through several important organs

>five pound battleaxe hits you in the ribcage shattering six ribs and chopping straight through several important organs

>1d8+4 damage

Why the fuck is this allowed

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_axe
themook.net/rpg/examples/melee/index.php?id=four
goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2014/09/psychic-gore-police.html
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

This is why you wait until after the damage roll to describe the hit.

>>five pound battleaxe
It's probably made of Styrofoam.

Because five HP is enough to kill a normal human, in D&D? You've just got a distorted view of it because as a PC you're not a normal human.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_axe
>"Axes designed for warfare ranged in weight from just over 0.5 kg to 3 kg ( 1 to 6 pounds), and in length from just over 30 cm to upwards of 1.5 m (1 to 5 feet)"

Because realism usually isn't fun

Also this

>PCs aren't normal humans
Oh yeah man swinging a sword and getting a minor bonus to hit is INSANE

normal people would get a +1 bonus to damage, +2 maybe, at MOST and that's including feats.

>swordfighters aren't normal people

Swordfighters are just as much massive nerds as the rest of us. They just happen to be sword nerds instead of Veeky Forums nerds.

It's a boon from the gods. It very well could be doing just that.

lol you don't know shit

HP isn't a measure of how many meatshots you can take before going down, or how much blood you can bleed before you die, it's also a measure of your stamina and endurance. Of course, it's an imperfect system, but such is life.

Stop lying, it was never intended to mean that until retards like you started doing damage control to make up for the fact that you don't take a penalty when you get wounded in d&d

Have you tried not playing D&D?

...

You're retarded. All systems have a certain layer of plot armour for Player Characters. In D&D it's health pools, in WFRP it's Fate Points and Fortune Points, etc.

Level 1 warriors aren't that strong
Level 5 Fighters are pushing the limits of reasonable human ability
Level 20 Fighters can run across lava for 18 straight seconds and are far beyond human ability

It's a mixture of both. Players start becoming superhuman at level 6 and up, especially once they start being able to survive being dunked in acid or fall from arbitrary heights (falling damage caps at 20d6)

And here is the post that btfo's OP.
Report and move on, folks.

Nice photoshop, retard

Of course, this only applies in 3.PF, whereas in every other edition of D&D that isn't shit, lava and great heights WILL kill you, outside of exigent circumstances.

Nice goalpost moving, mongoloid. Everyone who's played any amount of D&D in the last 300 years has read this exact justification for health pools at on point or another and knows it isn't a shoop. Fuck off and troll some other board.

It applies to 5E too, but only at the top levels (17~20).

You're correct 5e is pretty trashy.

In 5e they can't even lift, jump, run, etc what the lowest of the lowest olympic athletes can

Why the fuck are you in this hobby, on this board, or posting this thread?

>retard thinks that his retarded little fib is the truth because he was lied to when he started playing D&D five years ago

CHILDREN

GONNA

CHILD

>Survive a 100 foot fall
>Stand right back up
>"Good thing I had luck and battle experience too help me survive that fall. The Earth almost killed me, but alas, it was only a near miss."
I liked it it better when PCs were super human, and HP represented how much physical abuse you could take before kicking the bucket.

Sounds like a critical hit....
HP loss doesn't automatically mean injury, superficial damage is what HP should represent.

That is actually what HP are if you aren't a 12 year old memer

I mean, they aren't

They're what, an athlete at best? Peasant with a metal stick at worst?

They can match the world record in high jumps, actually. Anyone with a STR of 20 can.
Level 20 Barbarians will typically end up with a STR of 24 which means they can go 10 feet straight up, smashing that record by 25%.

That's the long jump, champ. High jump only goes up 8 feet and a quarter inch. Read my posts before replying.

>1d8+4
>ave:8.5 damage
enough to kill or maim the average guard or commoner in a single stroke
>minumum 5 damage
even a bad roll is enough to roll on system shock on the average person
>maximum 12 damage
that is enough to the damage described by the OP to most people

>critical hits
>anything other than an automatic hit
Smells like cancer to me.

What if we made a system where HP literally was meat points and as you leveled up you literally got jacked with more meat and blood in your body?

So once again, martials are weaker than IRL athletes and mages can do anything because "lulz magic xD"

Why is 5e considered good again? Is it because 3.PF was so shit by comparison?

Sounds like something for hyper muscle furry fetishists. Please no.

Casters can't "do anything" in 5E until Wish comes along, and Wish is a crapshoot that can cripple the caster for days or only cast once in their lifetime if they're unlucky. They've been drawn back a lot.

5e is designed to be so bland and barely present that you can just project your preferred idea of what D&D 'should' be onto it and it'll work.

If you actually get into the nitty gritty of the mechanics it's bland and mediocre, but the core audience they were aiming for are people who don't bother to do that, which seems to be the majority.

And I can't even call it bad design. For what they want to do with it, it works bizarrely well.

On the contrary, critical hits are automatic hits. I never said otherwise. But not every swing of the ol' battleaxe is going to result in a debilitating gutshot, unless you want your campaign filled with a bunch of prancing, ninny, dex-builds.

>Fighter
I braved lava for 18 whole seconds
>Mage
I created several thousand pocket dimensions filled with lava monsters that braved the feat of walking across men in the past 18 seconds

Damn I hate mages

Actually, 5E falling damage is still low. 20d6 cap aside, 1d6/10ft is pretty easymode for a Fighter - I jumped off a 40ft building, took at most 24 damage, as a 6th level Fighter that's not NEGLIGIBLE but it's totally bearable (in fact, I did this multiple times, as the actions I needed to take in the two rounds it would have taken me to climb down safely were much more valuable than my own health)

Long jump is 20ft for peak condition, unmodified by basically anything because muh complexity - that's pretty in line for someone who's fit as hell but not specifically trained to jump long distances.

The world record deadlift easiest to find is 1100lbs, while the maximum lift weight is 600lbs. But the world record deadlift is lifting it and just holding it, unmoving, for a short period, while the maximum lift weight is not impeding your movement. Walking normally while lifting six hundred pounds is still pretty damn impressive. Goliaths and other creatures with the Large Frame or whatever can go over the world record while walking normally.

Average dash speed is pretty low, 10ft/sec is a pretty casual running speed - but again, that's actually not an all-out sprint, it's how fast you can move safely with all your gear and whatever else over not-great but not-difficult terrain, without even tiring yourself out. So it is, indeed, a pretty casual run.

I think these are pretty in line with my expectations. To match Olympians I'd expect to specialize in the task (ie, have feats specifically for jumping long distances or lifting big things).

This is basically the best explanation. I'm developing more and more issues with it as campaigns get more involved - definitely don't recommend reading any of the downtimes rules too closely, because they range from useless, through actively detrimental and into completely nonfunctioning.

As fucked as it is I think meat points are much more logically consistent when you take things like healing, the players understanding their own and each other's HP, and all the different ways you lose it. Also on a personal level I think everything that pushes the limit on HP abstraction tends come off as kind of terrible

Jump in 5e is so capped by so many things, is so stupid
>Jump is your str, and in the case you have high str is capped by your speed, yes, that means if you have high Str jump spell (x3 jump) is literally shit
I just want to jump and fight wuxia style

that's all well and good but it doesn't address things like surviving fall damage, and raises the question of why the "skillfull reducton of damage due to higher skill" aspect of HP is a completely separate thing from armor class.

And then just what the hell is damage reduction?

>5e is designed to be so bland and barely present that you can just project your preferred idea of what D&D 'should' be onto it and it'll work.
This
And that's why it's the best version since 2e.
It's funny when games like fate try to make an experience that feels as anarchic as possible when from the begining ttrpgs have been a loose set of rules that you should probably follow if you are into that kind of thing... Man ...

>what the hell is damage reduction?
Not something that exists in 1e,

>that you can just project your preferred idea of what D&D 'should' be onto it and it'll work.
It won't, it works in some, not in all.

So then play a monk. They're literally made for that shit.

>Nice goalpost moving, mongoloid. Everyone who's played any amount of D&D in the last 300 years has read this exact justification for health pools at on point or another and knows it isn't a shoop. Fuck off and troll some other board.

Everyone who plays D&D knows that HP are meat (they aren't).

Just like they know all Paladins are servants of the gods (they're righteous warriors, but they don't get their powers from a deity like Clerics).

And all dragons have the ability to change shape (untrue of chromatic dragons and only true of some metallic dragons).

And a natural 20 on a skill check is a instant success while a 1 is a failure (only true of saving throws and attack rolls).

And Charisma is how physically attractive your character is.

D&D is such an eternal presence in nerd gaming that people just pick up stuff by osmosis and play according to rules and concepts that never actually existed.

I can't help but feel like you have nobody else to blame when you try to make a wuxia character in 5e DnD.

Monks have shitty Str, because they have to invest in Dex, Wis and Con. Therefore my jump will be shit.

He said it doesn't apply in non-shit D&D editions.

>You can do anything with 5e!
>Except you can only do old school D&D
Yeah, my fault for believing the shills and developers

Step of the wind, nignog.

The trick is to not use the hard jump rules and just make crazy Acrobatics checks to excuse wall-running and shit.

>D&D is such an eternal presence in nerd gaming that people just pick up stuff by osmosis and play according to rules and concepts that never actually existed.
Just like Monopoly. And also like Monopoly, doing so makes the game shittier.

that costs ki and doubles jump, yay, now I jump 20 ft at best and deplete my ki pool that is literally the only thing that makes me not be worthless. You think I didn't try monk? I already have to spend ki for defense almost all the time and then to stun

It really is. I shill pretty hard for it, but DnD is just not well suited for a lot of themes, and that should be immediately obvious to anyone who knows what they're doing.

>niggas thinkin' Boardwalk/Park Place means shit since it's expensive
always makes me grumble

Maybe this GURPS combat example is more to your liking OP

>your weapon may break if it parries anything three or more times its own weight
themook.net/rpg/examples/melee/index.php?id=four

Most of the shit that fucked me hard was errataed by the devs (jump capped even if you have x3), so no, I couldn't have foresaw that

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2014/09/psychic-gore-police.html

No they're not.

Yes they are.

You keep telling yourself that while pretending to be a poof in bathrobes.

because hit-points as meat points is stupid. Hit points as a measure of fatigue and plot-shield works much better, except when the system bends over backwards to make HP seem like meat points, which as we've discussed before, is stupid.

Think of it this way, one telling hit is universally enough to take most things out of the fight; whether or not that means killing depends on the system and the DM. When you are hit, instead of being out of the fight, you can spend a number of abstract player-resource POINTS to negate the HIT. The more devastating the hit, the more HIT POINTS it takes to turn into a last minute near-miss.

Wow, another armchair fight doctor tells us his hilariously inept viewpoint on how injuries should work in an RPG. He even decided to THROW in some CAPS because he's RETARDED.

Hey cool guy, got any more sick opinions for us?

Hit points are your character's ability to stave off serious damage. If the attack leaves you at positive hit points, it clearly did not significantly harm you.

>but muh meat points
Not every PC can be Marv. That's stupid. Yes, we all misinterpreted HP when we started playing in middle school, then we grew up.

>He just won't admit when he's very clearly wrong

Shitty bait

Still boring.

>Implying this isn't a clever ruse to get you to post more mma webms ;^)

Fuck this pasta. It's steak and boring and shows the one whining doesn't know the actual rules of the thing he's whining about.

And it seems like this is the third time I've seen it this month.

Every PC is Marv by product of being player characters.

Think about it, a ballista bolt deals 3d8 damage while a level 5 wizard can have up to 20 HP if they roll max on their HP roll and that's not even including CON modifiers.

Casters are nerfed pretty hard, and martials received a solid buff. The balance difference between them is within acceptable bounds now, unless someone does some kind of multiclassing cheese.

In fact, if a martial uses Great Weapon Master or Sharpshooter, they're actually miles ahead of even the casters damage-wise, unless the encounter desperately calls for huge AoE like fireball.

And 5e casters' spells don't get to scale up on their own without using a higher spell slot to cast them, so running out of spell slots and having to use lower spell slot levels sucks much worse than it used to.
5e cantrips do scale on their own, and are nice to have, but they're still a lot worse than casting proper spells most of the time. They don't see much use after level 5 or so unless you're a warlock.

TL;DR the balance is a lot better, for lots of reasons. It looks okay at first glance, but it's actually even better than that.

I very much understand the desire for the to-hit roll to tell you not only if you hit, but also how good of a hit you got in. However, d&d isn't built that way.

Shit son what'chu want? Also my GM hated me for grappling before I even got into actual grappling, now he doesn't let me rassle things.

Not all classes can use Sharpshooter or GWM though, see monk (and that's why, if feats allowed, is the worse class damage wise by far)

Ah yes, the thing that has like a one in several hundreds chance of happening.
Yeah, THINK ABOUT that one guys.

But, yeah, no, the way HP works the ballista bolt simply didn't hit him dead on. How can we tell? He's still standing, obviously.

The utility gap is still massive though.

And even if they're more effective in combat, martials still lack much in the way of interesting choices to make.

Yeah I'm hoping for similar feats to come out for other classes. I homebrew stuff like that for my group all the time.

Just, uh, don't actually give a Monk a refluffed GWM... That's a terrible idea.

>Get hit by a ballista bolt because it beat my AC
>Wizard takes 19 damage out of his 20 HP
>"Eh, it just means it didn't hit you dead on hyuk :B"
Are you a retard by choice or circumstance?

In my group I introduced:
Chicken Kung Pao:
When making an unarmed attack you can get -5 to hit to add +10 to damage
When making an unarmed attack you can decide to deal between Piercing, Bludgeoning or Slashing damage

Works fine because there aren't magic items for unarmed attacks so what they gain with the feat they lose it with magic items that can give you up to +3 and even extra damage

>Not every PC can be Marv. That's stupid. Yes, we all misinterpreted HP when we started playing in middle school, then we grew up.

Most people who grow up move on to other systems.

The people who stick with D&D are mostly looking to hold on to those childhood memories. Even when they turn 35, they want to try and maintain that feeling they had when playing D&D at their friend's house when they were in highschool.

That's why the players are sooo resistant to change. Not just when it comes to trying other games, but also within D&D itself. You can futz a bit, but everything needs to be convoluted, idiosyncratic, and retro enough that people still feel like they're flipping through the book for the first time while being able to make the same references to DMs, the great wheel, magic missile, backstabbing thieves, and Mindflayers that they made back a decade+ ago and have it still be relevant.

They don't get those warm fuzzy feelings from other games, even if they're more intuitive, easier to run, realistic/fantastic, and generally better.

They just "don't feel like D&D". That statement there has been the death knell of many a great TTRPG.

If you're talking total realism, hp is partial abstraction to physical wellness and partial abstraction to ability to avoid things.

In the case of the wizard, it could've ripped a good chunk off his leg, knocking him down and severely limiting mobility or missed entirely, but stunning him and allowing another aggressor to knock him down for the count.

Forge the fucking narrative, you pleb.

He actually read the book.