Bar Wenches

Depends on the bar.....

Good for business if the bar feels like it

"All fetishes are gross and disgusting... except MY fetish! My fetish is normal, because I am normal. Anyone NOT like me is a freak!"

Not everyone's a straight dude you fucking halfwit.

tumblr detected

Are you a homosapien?

Women usually like boobs too.

ROASTIES AREN'T WELCOME HERE

This post cannot be legitimate. Please nobody reply further.

There he is, on the 4chans! Get him, Number 21!

Girl's gotta eat. If showing a bit of skin helps, then skin will be shown.

Exactly, it's like prostitution it would be odder if it was not in the setting. Although drawing too much attention to it or taking it too far is possible.

>"All fetishes are gross and disgusting... except MY fetish! My fetish is normal, because I am normal. Anyone NOT like me is a freak!"
There are people out there with fetishes so boring that they can truly believe something like this.

Essential fantasy trope that is, essentially, a magical realm.

Right away, Mighty Monarch.

My Fighter married a bar maid once.
Doing so completely derailed and then re-railed his character development. He's the Feywild version of Darth Vader now.

Story time.

>Assuming gender AND disregarding lesbians or nonbinaries who like tits
kek

This. Woman's oldest profession selling sex for money (prostitute. Men's oldest profession is selling physical force for money (mercenary).

It would be odd not to have them.

Not yet.

Yes

To be specific, like many things it depends on the implementation and the group

>Sexy bar wench who shows skin for the lesbian adventurer
I am okay with this

I think sexy bar tenders are ubiquitous to the bar/tavern experience. So i man the bar i manage with bar wenches/wenchers.

So i guess, essential reality trope?

Not everything needs to be taken to the extreme user, he was just kinda flabbergasted that people like you exist.

'not liking tits' is not 'i hate all tits' you don't need to violently against the stuff you don't enjoy (and using shittly made strawmen to make a point is kinda bad user).

Underrated.

They're ADVENTURERS, man. Their career choice is "Make reckless decisions on whim for personal satisfaction." When they come rolling into town your options for the night change from "Finish off the last keg with the old owner after hours and sleep alone" to
>Noble paladin who may take a liking to you and be a devoted husband
>Bard who has max ranks in "perform" and looks for nothing except a good time
>Fighter who has more money than sense and hasn't felt a touch that wasn't trying to wound him or mend those wounds in months

Statistically, adventurers are much more commonly hot, DTF, and have plenty of money and goodwill to throw around. Almost like they're main characters or something.

So non straight people are mad about sexy bar wenches? Wonder why, doesnt effect their gayness any...

Okay, well, let me start off by saying that this was one of the first few campaigns I ever played in that wasn't filled with assholes, which means my tabletop experience up to this point was pretty spotty. I've gotten much better after the two campaigns I'm about to talk about, just through sheer experience.

It was a 5e game run on a named forum, not in person. Play-by-post. The basic plot hook was sort of mediocre, and since I didn't take the game too seriously, I created a Noble Fighter who was sort of a prince from a nomad tribe, based off of a mixture between a stereotypical Fire Emblem lord and a stereotypical "All I need is swords, booze, and tits" macho Fighter. I had intended to play him for laughs as a naive, womanizing knucklehead who didn't really exploit his intelligence or wisdom that much.

Part of the reason he didn't use his head that much is because he was secretly a huge ball of personal issues underneath his cheery exterior, a fact I intended to run with once the game eventually (I predicted) fell into forced drama territory. I thought I had this game figured out, and could ride the plot rails to the end no problem. What a fool I was.

He goes through the generic first stages of trying to flirt with everything in a skirt and being a bravado-charged showoff, we get our plot hook basically rammed down our throat by the DM, along with complimentary DMPC. My Fighter and the party Monk strike up a quick bromance after the monk unintentionally decapitates an enemy with a crit and we trade wisecracks- he's the straight man and I'm the wise guy. Then the party warlock reveals her tragic backstory, how her family was taken away by her evil patron and she needs to get them back. (Remember this, it'll be important later.) \

After we manage to defeat the first boss and return to the starting town victorious, my character looks for the woman with the highest CHA in town. This is the part where the wheels start to come off.

Are you ready for the storm?

Are you ready for the strum???

Nobody was ready for the Strom.

>he was just kinda flabbergasted that people like you exist.

No, I was posting as the Monarch, an insane supervillain who casually murders people that annoy him, and that guy there is trolling you by taking my silly shit seriously.

Isn't 'wench' just an archaic word for a strumpet, alias prostitute? Probably because working girls turned tricks on the side a lot back in the olden days...

I'm asking because I'm a non-english speaker.

No, it just means young girl, but it fell out of use and survived for a while afterwards specifically for serving girls. Basically it's an archaic word for "waitress."

So it turns out the best qualifier is a barmaid, and the captain of the guard's daughter. Out of character, I knew that this was a bad idea, but I knew it was also what he would do, damn the consequences. And the consequences ended up being twins. Yes, on their first night together, he impregnated her with twins. So, when the barmaid's father speaks to my Fighter the night afterwards, I'm expecting him to shotgun marriage-equivalent my ass.

Except not only is he cool with it, he's ecstatic and basically begs my character to marry his daughter. That should have been the first warning sign. So, being the lovable knucklehead he is, the Fighter figures that a hot barmaid wife is better than having to flirt with every city's women, and agrees. We get another plot hook including my character's evil uncle, and Fighter and Fighter's Waifu go back to the Fighter's tribe for a McGuffin.

But when we come back, the captain of the guard has been found poisoned in his sleep (it was done about the same time we left, actually), and nobody can figure out whodunnit. In character, the Fighter's still in a honeymoon mental state, so his waifu can do no wrong and he gets a bit testy and mopey when the Monk insinuates she might have been involved in the death. Out of character, I'm pretty much gritting my teeth and preparing for the inevitable, having figured the Fighter put his dick in crazy.

So we go to Obligatory Foreign City Where My Evil Uncle is, and the waifu turns her crazy up to eleven, acquiring a Deck of Illusions somehow and popping out of nowhere to 'protect' my character from 'sand whores'. She's able to intimidate anyone in the party due to her crazy Charisma, and despite the fact that I have no fucking clue who this woman really is, she's at least a Bard 1/Fighter 1. At this point, I'm thinking she's a villain in disguise.

Good taste user.

It's an older word for "girl," essentially.

One thing a lot of people don't know, "man/men" used to be gender-neutral. So you had wife-men, who were women, farm-men, who were farmers, spear-men who were soldiers, axe-men who were a different kind of soldier, woods-men who were woodsmen, etc. Some of this survives over into modern times, but wife-men got shortened into w'men, or women.

This is also true for he/him. In ancient cookbooks, there is a rather disturbing recipe for cooking a goose so that it is still alive when you eat it. But because the goose is still alive, they still refer to it as a "person," and so call it him/he, even though female geese were normally those eaten at feasts. "She" as a gender-specific pronoun is old, but it coexisted for a long time with the semi-neutral "he" in English.

This

Everybody loves boobs.

Sounds about right, but i like to play along. I'm bored at work. Trolling trolls but being trolled.

Bar winches.
You know, to pull patrons in.

We complete the first part of our mission, but it costs us two people due to bad planning (a fact I had predicted both in and out of character, but the party warlock insisted on going ahead with it and would have done it even if I wasn't present).

This is the part where I become the DM, because the previous DM is losing steam. I ask him who the hell this woman is, and he basically tells me he didn't have a backstory for her, but that she had the Deck of Illusions and a Ring of Invisibility(?!). Great, now I have to make up everything from now on. So now I have to write out both characters in a satisfactory fashion. So I change her backstory so that she's actually an assassin from a mob the DM's new character was from, but that she actually fell in love with the Fighter because they're basically crazy for each other.

So the Fighter goes with the party, and I have a special trap planned- a suit of magical armor designed to entrap the closest person to it that can wear heavy armor. That falls to between the cleric and the (now DMPC) Fighter. It turns out that the Fighter ends up being the target and thus can't help the party for the rest of the mission, a fact that works out perfectly for keeping him out of the way and re-balancing the encounters. So they defeat the Fighter's uncle, but the Fighter is nowhere to be found.

While the party waits on an NPC's help to find the Fighter, the Warlock pulls some underhanded stuff behind the party's back, as I gave her an offer to trade the evil uncle's McGuffin for one of her family members. Now, the McGuffin requires blood to activate, and when the Warlock makes her way into the secret belly of the evil uncle's lair, she finds a half-dead dude covered in blood to the point of being unrecognizable in the dark. The patron tells the Warlock this dude is going to be the sacrifice, and she doesn't question it.

So the ritual is performed, it turns out that the patron should really not have performed it, and somehow the sacrifice survives getting all of his blood drained twice. I even rolled the death saves in secret, and on the second draining he rolled a twenty when he was one failure from death. It seems the dice really wanted my old character to stick around.

The armor had entrapped him and brought him to his uncle's lair, where the ritual was performed once and he just barely lived through it. But on the downside, he was trapped in the Feywild at the mercy of the lord of the Hells that the ritual had summoned. So I figured a devilish deal was just the thing to close the book on his character while leaving his new master as a possible plot hook for the party to stumble across in the future.

He became the equivalent of a Paladin of Conquest in secret, hiding his new allegiance from the party when they came to check up on him. He was going to start a war with a nation that he had convinced himself deserved it, in an effort to protect his new family, consolidate his power, and ensure prosperity for his own people at the same time.

But the original party didn't get to him- another party did. Same setting, different campaign. I'll take a short break, but will expand upon the details of his death if you want.

>but wife-men got shortened into w'men, or women.

yeah I'm gonna need sauce on this dispite the double dubs

There's a disappointing lack of bar wench art in this thread

Please do. I'm quite interested.

Why don't Dennys' have bar wenches?

Not him, but I do know if you google "woman entomology", at the bottom of the definition thing box is
>Old English wīfmon, -man (see wife, man), a formation peculiar to English, the ancient word being wife.

I also know the male equivalent to wo- is were-, the only word that still uses that in the modern day is werewolf, meaning literally (male)man-wolf, which implies a female "werewolf" should be called a wowolf or wifwolf

They're not essential, but they're certainly welcome.

It's absolutely true. It comes from the anglo saxon Wīfman. Wīf means female, mann means human. The man part came to mean male-person, wīf became wife, and the f in wīfman dropped. Basic anglo saxon palo.

If she's into nature the druid is probably pretty hot as well. Dude must have some damn good chest hair i bet.

Alright, so for context I need to explain what the new party composition looked like.
>LG Mountain Dwarf Vengeance Paladin
>'TN' High Elf Illusionist Wizard
>LN Wood Elf Hunter Ranger

So the party had been hired by the paranoid and a bit loopy king of the nation defending against the new Paladin of Conquest, because the war wasn't going so well for the defenders. The reason being that besides the fact that the nation had legal slavery for its mining, the nation was going down the gutter due to the king going partially nutbars and the fact that the nobility had slowly become corrupt as all hell. So a revolution started in the backstory of a PC from the previous campaign showed up here, and the Paladin of Conquest had backed it- the terms were that when the revolution succeeded, the Conqueror's men would get lion's pick of the spoils.

They were surprised to find out that he (the leader of the conquerors) was actually a nice person, even though he was justifying increasingly vicious behavior and treated his deal with the devil as 'I did what I had to do'. Most of the royal children, realizing their father was crazy, had joined with the grassroots revolt in the hopes that they would end up not dead and restoring their homeland before their father ended up driving it into the ground. The negotiations for peace got spoiled by a recurring assassin who had attacked the king and the party before.

Ultimately, the group sided with the king for two reasons- one, the king paid more, and two, the paladin's Vengeance was sworn against devils and demons. The most memorable interaction in the whole campaign, I think, was when the Paladin attempted to persuade the Conqueror to stop- by appealing to his conscience. No threats, no promises, just "I know the heart of a good man beats in that armor. You can do this without dealing with devils."

This.

I cast fruits to vegetables.

Now, the Paladin of Conquest really wasn't expecting that, and it didn't help that one of his flaws was that he had always wanted to be a paladin of the god of light, like the dwarf was, but deep down he never attempted to join because he didn't think he had the moral fiber to do it. He almost broke down right there, realizing how far he had fallen, but in his mind it was too late and he could try to redeem himself after winning the war.

He never got the chance.

When the negotiations failed, the Conqueror began his final assault on the capital city soon after. The wizard summoned a wall of fire to block the gates from assault, but due to his magical defenses and special boons granted specifically for this battle, the Conqueror smashed open the gate himself and was immediately swarmed by defending knights, including the party's paladin. Angry to see that the paladin had still chosen to side with his enemies, he ended up taking down several NPCs and buying his men enough time to make a safe entrance before collapsing in his armor from all of the damage. The party was a bit sad that the boss fight had ended so anticlimactically- until I brought out the second stage of the battle.

The devil wasn't satisfied with his champion simply killing a bunch of nameless goons, and assumed direct control of the Conquerer for a short period, boosting his strength significantly and even killing the defending king, an 11th-level paladin, himself. At first glance, the party had lost. The ranger fled with part of the treasury, and the wizard had decided to abandon the defenders for his own personal quest, which was about to become incredibly relevant. The devil considered the paladin, who had survived all of the fight so far, a worthy opponent and was about to let him live, until his senses made his host aware of something horrible.

The wizard had made a deal with a dark goddess in exchange for magical secrets, and the buy-in was killing the Conqueror's (pregnant) wife.

Not liking sexy bar wenches?

What are you, GAY?

Sex and violence really are at the core of humanity

The Conqueror may have been immune to fire damage, but his wife was not. She was currently being immolated by the wizard, who had been slowly slipping into Chaotic Evil territory through the campaign, but was really good at hiding it publicly. After killing the wife, the wizard was given a portal to one of the Hells.

In a split second of weakness, the Conqueror abandoned everything to try and move as fast as he could- if he couldn't prevent her death, he hoped to at least kill the person responsible. However, he didn't Disengage, and the Paladin was in range for his last Smite slot. One fateful roll later, and I concluded that the paladin had done about five more than he needed to confirm the kill.

With his final act, the Vengeance Paladin hammered the possessed man in the back. The Conqueror exploded into a rage-filled burst of light, and his troops, who had left the commander to fight his own battles due to their honor system, immediately turned on the paladin and filled him with arrows. The Vengeance Paladin, having fulfilled his oath and banished a devil in the process, died laughing. He became a famed martyr of his order, and his weapon is now a setting artifact.

Now, the Wizard ended up getting double-crossed, and wound up in the same Hell as the Conqueror wound up in. The Paladin of Conquest was informed that his wife would be joining him in the Hell belonging to his master, and that his twin daughters would be spared- on the condition that they would know nothing of their heritage, be raised in another country by parents who were barren, and would eventually be trained as paladins of the same order as the dwarf.

He was now required to serve the devil until the end of time, becoming a torturer and lieutenant. His fall to darkness became complete with his torture of the Wizard, which ceased to be out of justice and simply out of rage towards all that he had lost, and pure hatred.

...

Now, he is a chain devil in the service of the Hells, and after fifty years of faithful service, has risen to become a lord of the portions of the Feywild that belonged to the patron of the warlock but were conquered by the devil.

He has never forgotten his losses, and though he and his wife have had a single son in the mean time, he blames the wizard, his uncle, and the warlock for destroying his life. His pride demands he find his daughters and turn them to his service, no matter the cost.

He hates high elves, eladrin, and denizens of the Feywild, and has passed this hatred onto his son. There is a single cage in one of his dungeons dedicated specifically to torturing the Wizard, whose soul he was able to acquire as a reward for his accomplishments. Every day, he specifically dedicates fifteen minutes to an hour to subjecting the wizard to excruciating pain.

His new goal is to acquire the warlock's family and use them as bargaining chips to force her to face him and what he believes she did to him.

All of this, because he fell in love with one bar maid and things spiraled horribly out of control.
Lesson learned: Don't bang the bar maid. Just don't.

Not everything is a fetish.

Anything could be though

The answer is 'yes'

Also the reason bar wenches have a reputation is because historically barmaids often DID do side work as prostitutes

that was less strange than i was hoping for.

I mean the end result, but like. normal fetish building right there.

Regardless of magical realm potential, I feel they're essential to set the scene in an inn.

>not wanting the sweet embrace of fournival

>Bar Wenches
>magic realm
Have you really never been at a non-feminazi bar?

kys senpai

Women abhor competition and faggots may as well be ugly women.

bait/10

Just plain old reality.

Neat story. Thanks for sharing.

I really don't understand the backlash to this word.

That's the term for it.

Do you assume that drinks just serve themselves to adventurers?
Because that honestly sounds like the kind of thing that would only happen in a realm that's openly magical.

Wow so a good looking watress that may also be a hooker for hire depending on the society is suddently a fetish and totally not a common occurence in the real world.

>woman entomology
I knew it! women are insects!

Damn. That's hella rough. I guess the moral here is don't bang Barmaids?

How much of a virgin do you have to be to think barmaids are magical realm?
Never go yo Hooters dude, you may get arrested.

Yup.

get the rope

Who would serve the party beer without them?

>not wanting to plunder reynard's coinpurse

Stellar post that made me kek, and I'm not even American.

...

I liked your story and I like you user. Just thought I'd let you know.

This pic has so many uses.

There's also tile fetish user

It makes sense for a service industry (tavern) to have attractive employees, since a cute wench can bring you more costumers.
How sexual/fanservicey she is is up to you or the tavern surroundings (slums/rich residential distrct), though.

i appreciate the existence of attractive women is slightly intimidating to a two-ton sphere whose gravitational field attracts hams from miles around, but most normal people can function in society without freaking out at the sight of someone who cares about their appearance

That was... surprisingly pure. At least, compared to the average saw-shit-happen, fetish-acquired tale.

See this guy, this guy is weird. Mostly because i'm having trouble figuring out how it came to be, or if it's a spontaneous thing.

But that user is a strange duck for sure.

Pretty sure gathering and scavenging were predate prostitution and mercenary work.

Some people discovered it with TVTropes.

Not the guy you're replying to, but I feel the same about the word "meme".

Before 2000s, the word "meme" was all about grand ideas. "The Carthage must fall", "Deus Vult", "The King is dead, long live the King" etc. - all of those are memes - set expressions that represent grand, overwhelming, dangerous ideas and infect people with them.
And after 2000s, the word "meme" is all about funny pictures and internet tribes' in-jokes.
I'm not even a humanities-fag, but this shit still iffs me to no end.

So, yeah, I can understand when that guy is triggered by the usage of the word "trope".

Have a funny picture.