Your move, faggots

your move, faggots

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O lower right.

I cast Arcane Shot.

*Teleports Behind you*

O upper left.

shit how do I even deal with this

Look, the problem already revealed is that you're not thinking with enough dimensions. Behind implies space behind you. An obscured space. A space largely out of view.

You know what you must do.

I expand it into a cube and take the right and top side for a tactical advantage.

There's a damn snake in this thing!

And the snake is a wizard! I think it placed a magic trap on that square!

I move and shoot.

It triggers my countermeasure, summoning a phantom X to the top left, front side.

You just activated my trap circle underneath Phantom X.

Guess I'll pick Big Zam.

...

Shit. Now what?

...

See how you deal with this one, fucko. Land on this space and you're fucking bankrupt for sure.

...

Christ, I hate Magic. Fine, here, pick one you piece of shit.

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op here, going to bed, work in the morning
keep going please

Pssh, Veeky Forums users having a life? What nonsense and heresy is this?

I censor the tarmogoyf

I roll for initiative to counterattack the censorship act.

I uncensor the poor card and get on at piccadilly.

HEY! WHERE'S THE INITIATIVE ROLL?

AS AN UNOFFICIAL JUDGE, I DO NOTHING ABOUT THIS BREAKING OF RULES!

Right here, sir.

GOOD! I CONTINUE TO DO NOTHING AS AN UNOFFICIAL JUDGE!

>DEJA VU

He's obviously a heretic or a witch or some shit.

I say kill it with fire.

But since I couldn't be bothered to own a lighter I'll leave it to the rest of you brave warriors of all the good and kinda-ok things, yes?

I use reserve O's and do a LINE COMBO! I win

Well damn, that was a quick end.

Shit, now I'm out of a job of being the unofficial judge.

An old man has a question

OH YES OLD MAN WHAT IS THE QUESTION.

I AS AN UNOFFICIAL JUDGE HAVE A SMALL CHANCE OF BEING ABLE TO ANSWER.

do you know the true meaning of what it means to get in-a-row?

UNO!

Uh......
UH......
It means you have three symbols of the same design in a perfect row! Doing so results in a win in tic-tac-toe!

(WHY IS AN OLD MAN ASKING ME EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS, I'M JUST AN UNOFFICIAL JUDGE)

Page 256 section 3 of the 7th Edition Rulebook, it states that as an unofficial judge you have to answer questions asked by mythical or elderly figures if the questions are mathematical, scientific, directions, existential, theoretical, or riddles.

Well shit.

The Life of an Unofficial Judge
Starring: An Unofficial Judge

WHILE THE UNOFFICIAL JUDGE IS DISTRACTED I DOUBLE THE BOARD, THUS MEANING YOU REQUIRE DOUBLE THE POINTS TO WIN.

SUCK IT.

WAIT WHAT

UNOFFICIAL JUDGE DOES NOT APPRECIATE THIS!

HOW? HOW CAN THE GAME CONTINUE? IT'S ALREADY WON? WHAT IS THIS?

MY LIFE IS TORTURE! WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS JOB?

Too bad for you, I use pot of greed !

I forgot the effect though

It chose you.
HAHA, YOU POOR BASTARD, I HAD THE LARGER POT OF GREED THE WHOLE TIME.
I can't quite recall what it does either though.

Aaaaaand My card was actually a slave, not only do you lose but you also get to pay me five times my wager.

Oh shat.

My life as an Unofficial Judge is getting serious now.

I will continue to do nothing.

Queen of Swords ascendent, I negate my loss, but I am now in serious debt.

Game on.

N-nani?

This thread...

Theyre thinking in strategy over 8 moves down the line

As the Queen spots dubs, I slay her and place my strong claim heir on the throne to manipulate the debt away. Viva!

You activated my trap NAP!

I SUMMON THE TARASQUE AND PLACE MY CARD IN ATTACK MODE

NOW ROLL YOUR SAVING THROW

Rolled 15 (1d20)

FUCK!

I declare a blood cascade, we're all going to drown if something isn't done.
Including the unofficial judge.
Especially the unofficial judge.

Congrats you actually got me cornered kiddo.

I activate Berserker Soul : for each monster card I draw, one additional attack I obtain but Hey ... What are the odds that I actually draw a Monster Card ?

Congrats you actually got me cornered kiddo.

I activate BERSERKER SOUL : for every monster card I draw, one more attack I obtain.

BUT HEY ... WHAT ARE THE ODDS THAT I ACTUALLY DRAW A MONSTER CARD ?!!!

MONSTA CARDO

DOROOOOO !!!!!!!


MONSTA KAAADO !!!!

I have watched this madness long enough, I am sorry for doing this...

This thread...

Fuck, if we were playing another game drawing this would have actually been useful

Yeah, nah, in response I Flashback Moment's Peace

I equip MASK OF JUSTICE to mushroom man making him invulnerable to attack or destruction by magic.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>Sacrefice mushroom man to summon 1d3 dire rats

Can't he's indestructible. Even by magic.

>Sacrifice: Divine class action
>In case of dispute, contact local judge

I CALL UPON THE JUDGE TO... uh... JUDGE WHETHER ACTION CAN BE CARRIED OUT!

I JUDGE THAT YOU CAN

...

O shit the rats are also slightly ethereal, making them immune to Pepe abilities and physical attacks. Oh and maybe they can fly?

Well I activate the magic card pot of greed, it allows me to draw 2 cards from my deck!

And of course I forget the image

I play CLASSY POT OF GREED. It is a monster that allows me to draw 5 cards each turn and increases the cards allowed in my hand to 70.

You sure sure that's actually what pot of greed does ? I don't mean to be a buzzkill but I have some doubts here

On behalf of my moustache I gain a token for the next anime reactions montage and pass the turn

I SHALL END THIS BATTLE
I PLAY THE DREADED 4 DRAW 4S ANDE DECLARE UNO

>I PLAY THE DREADED 4 DRAW 4S ANDE DECLARE UNO
NO THATS NOT POSSIBLE

I play Burt Reynolds equipped with Harrowing Moustache in defense mode. Blocking three of your four draws.

Damn... I'm an inch from losing all of Spiritual Pressure.

VICTORY IS MINE

THATS WHAT YOU THINK
DRAW FOURS ARE ONLY ABLE TO BE BLOCKED BY ANOTHER DRAW FOUR YOU FOOL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BAMN BITCH!

YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WITH A LEGENDARY CARD?

I SUMMON THE FORBIDDEN ONE!

JOKE'S ON YOU SUCKERS I STORM OFF WITH ALL THE CARDS I JUST DREW

I CANT HANDLE THIS DUEL

...

>the rats are also slightly ethereal, making them immune to Pepe abilities and physical attacks.

Your attack is ineffective.

Wow, the Tic-Tac-Toe DLC really changes the strategy.

Objection
>pepe uses meme magic which obviously affects etheral creatures. There for they are only immune to the physical part of his attack.

Don't mind me, just turning in my quest since I paid 50 fucking dollars for this shitty game and my guys keep dying thanks to those FUCKING RATS.

Your reward is a pet feral dire rat.

(note it is untrainable).

Well I play Pachirisu!

with pepe raising the ground and three +4 stacked I summon multidimensional grid and reveal my masterful check

Those are draw 5 cards. They are 11 times as effective as draw 4s.

I cast RETRO MEEM.

I super rare digimon that I found in the basement.

It probably does something.

I play Sheherazade. We play a subgame that does not affect the outcome of this game

JUUUUDGE, my opponent announced a different spell from the one he cast

INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS.
youtu.be/V92OBNsQgxU

...

...

Lol. you can't do that. Just sold the gamestore to this nice japanese fellow. Now there are new houserules

See, Jamal? I TOLD you using 3.5e was a bad idea, why you always gotta go and try and skimp on cost you poor ass nigger