/5eg/ D&D Fifth Edition General

Well, there are less controversial, more deserving and more challenging things to club, so no.

My party has a crab following them around. The crab is an imprisoned warlock's familiar, and he talks to them through it.

He's in the city where the campaign takes place, but they haven't figured out where yet and the warlock doesn't know his location.

As a matter of fact, the Elven nation in my setting is analogous to French Canada in the late 1800s, so yes, we do have seal clubbing.

Depends on what the regional view on slavery is.

If you're trying to be a slaver in an area where it's illegal, edge is at almost intolerable levels.
If you're trying to be a slaver in an area that's either lawless or neutral towards it, you're moderately edgy.
If you're trying to be a slaver in a land where the law supports slavery and is even built on the back of it, you're totally in the clear.

What sort of loot is found inside a Gibbering Mouther?

From Crawford's Twitter. So it's definitely still coming today, despite lateness.

Giblets

>as a sport
Pig-disgusting. The seal hunt is not a game.

>Unearthed Arcana: Food expanded

>Do your parties ever get pets? Do they ever add anything meaningful to the group?
Oh boy, let me tell you about pets.

>At a family get-together
>Cousin brings in a game called Avalon
>Standard stuff, just Fantasy Town of Salem
>Everyone has a good time
>Use that as a springboard to suggest DnD
>Three of them get into the idea
>Get everything ready, teach them how character creation works, takes around two hours in total
>Start them through the LMoP story
>Right before the game starts, the Barbarian player finds out about pets
>Asks if he can get a pet
>Say if he rolls a 20 he can get it (use it as an example to teach everyone what a critical roll is)
>He actually gets the 20
>Give him a pet rat
>Tell him it has 1 HP, 11 AC and does 1d4+1 bite damage
>He actually is fine with that
>Fast forward to Cragmaw Cave
>They're debating on how to get into the cave without being seen
>Barbarian player decides to let the rat go in and check
>Tell him he has to roll a stealth check and each Goblin will roll a perception check
>He gets another fucking 20
>No Goblin passes
>One of the other characters gets out an inkwell and parchment, dips the rat's tail in it and tells it to map out the cave
>Animal Handling roll of 18
>I let them do it because I've never seen anything like this from my normal groups
>Later on, in combat with the goblins
>Barbarian throws the rat at a goblin
>Another fucking nat 20 to hit
>Dice aren't loaded, they're my dice
>This rat keeps getting fucking nat 20s
>I relent and make him a full companion to the Barbarian, full stats

It was a mess, but on the plus side they love DnD now.

Unearthed Arcana: Traps Revisted Part 2

>Do your parties ever get pets?
In my LMoP group we kidnapped a goblin and stuck him in the Artificer's Toolbox of Holding with a breathing straw. We are using him to find the location to Cragmaw.
My character has pet rocks.

In my SKT group:
I killed an orog and stole his axebeak, had armor made for him, had our retired Paladin wagonmaster train him for combat, and then never ride around on him because I am a teleporting warrior-monk.
We ran into some Earth Cultists and intimidated them (by using Stone Shape to seal some of them into a coccoon made of their own stone armor) into giving us all their money and some of their bullettes, which now pull our wagon (which is sitting somewhere because we're on an airship)
And I beat the shit out of the white wyrmling pet of some Uthgardt assholes and shoved it into a bag of holding, but Imryith vaporized its head off (and most of the party) when we were attempting to use it as a hostage bargaining chip. So now we just have half a wyrmling corpse in a bag.

The half-digested remains of whatever it ate and the undigested remains of whatever it can't digest that it ate.

Unearthed Arcana: Taxes

...

>elves are frenchman
this is funny on many different levels

Anyonne ready for UA: Romance and Erotic?

Honestly, luck of the dice during the first few games does a great deal when drawing in new players.

I guarantee they wouldn't have been half as interested if none of those rolls succeeded. But hey, congratulations for being a relenting GM and getting a handful of players genuinely invested in D&D.

If it had waifus, I'm willing to bet half of Veeky Forums wouldn't even be mad.

Come up with the mostly likely UA release that will cuck mystics.

I vote UA:Gender & Race relations

You guys stole Droop? That's my party's goblin too ().

Whenever they execute a captive they make Droop do it to prove his loyalty.

They're chain-smoking, river-rafting, striped shirt-wearing lumberjacks with thin mustaches and keen whittling skills.

woodsy, folksy frenchmeen, not parisians

I need some help /5eg/

I need an item to give to my lvl 6 tabaxi ranger this session. He hasn't gotten loot at all this entire campaign and I feel like he deserves it. What's something that's not just a +1?

Yeah, pretty sure it's Droop. He was getting bullied by some shit in a cave or something IIRC.

>wood elf french canadians
That writes itself

What does he do

Give him Slippers of Spider Climbing, or Quiver of Elhonna

Easy mode guess is Downtime Activities, given how long its been kicking around. A funnier one would be something to do with Revising Alignment or a new way of determining starting stats though.

Arrows and cat

It's his first RPG character

Captured by mind flayers, they install flensing blades in his arms

True Rituals would be nice.

The ones in the Shattered Lands book were mediocre as fuck

>One with the Wild: A magic instrument, when played, calls a beast to your aid. This beast is chosen by the DM and aids you for one hour, before it leaves to reenter the wild. It recognizes you as a defender of beasts and the forest and will do its best to help you in battle, though it does value its own life.

That's pretty neat. I might actually give that very item to him. Probably once per long rest though

>Not giving a cat a rope of climbing

It's like you can't even Cat

A bow that, replacing one attack in an Attack action, can fire a single arrow into the air and mark two targets.

The arrow returns on the user's next turn as TWO arrows and makes attacks against the two marked targets, even if they've moved. If they fail a Dex save vs 8+Prof+Dex, they are pinned to the ground until the end of their turn.

Recharges on short rest.

Anyone willing to dm on roll 20 or some shit. Im not new to d n d persay but me and my buddies play a mix homebrew/bad understanding of rules on all of our campaigns (we switch GM's) its just the little shit honestly

I thought 5e already has Gender and Race relations with confirmation that women are good, but black is better:

Stealing that.

My Dwarves are Mexicans.
They wear large hats, have bitching mustaches instead of beards, drink tequila, and take long naps in the middle of the day. They can also plant a garden or build a shack in half the time and at half the cost of any other race.

I don't have any ideas for loot, but gibbering mouthers don't have immunity to charm. i know what i'm using next time i see one.

that's pretty cute

Yeah just treat it like Conjure Animals, but maybe add some more fluff. Like once a day you can have the cat he has actually speak with the competency of an average commoner. Something to give character.

>black people exist
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

... Yes? I wasn't suggesting they don't, I'm saying they're better than other races.

Come over here white girl and let Papa Chult show you some of this dino deeeiiick.

Played POTA, all good fun.
DM buddy would like to play as player.
I've volunteered to run campaign for group, but don't want to do POTA again - suggestions?

Also, would it be sensible to DM off laptop???

>TFW player gets pet slime
>Pet slime crits all the fucking checks despite being supposed to be incredibly weak

...

>Also, would it be sensible to DM off laptop???

I do. I'm more organized that way and it lets me cross-reference the Monster Manual, Volo's Guide, and custom-made stuff in the same encounter without flipping through multiple books or having to copy statblocks.

I use a tablet for easier access to sounds/music at the table and for visual aid if a player is having a really hard time using their imagination, but I prefer hardcopy of notes/maps/ personal character sheets.

Why are you triggered?

SKT is the most well-received published adventure thus far, and only really requires some DM prep for chapter 3.

I like to DM with a mix of laptop to quickly reference spells/monsters/items/whatever random bullshit my players need me to make up, and a copy of the book for easy bookmarking and notes

He's assuming a guy that said he thinks black people are great is actually saying black people need to get lynched and not exist in his tabletop.

The guy needs to grow up, it's kind of sad.

bloody hobby store in my town wants 85 Canadian dollars for Volo's guide when I have a free pdf copy and amazon offers it for 40-50$. He's the only store in town though so the fucker charges whatever markup he wants. I almost want to open up a shop against him.

Because I was reminded that black people exist. I thought I made that obvious?

My character is the (adopted) daughter of an innkeeper and the party's cook. I would actually love this.

...'course, I'd love a 20-level Mystic more.

>t. sheltered suburbanite
Admit it, you play rpgs because your life is dull and listless

You need to remember your betters, user.

You didn't. You seemed like you were making an autistic assumption of some else's post and putting words in their mouth. Now it seems like you're backtracking. Are you a female?

book depository dot com bruh, free shipperoni

My players tried to steal Droop too. But they renamed him Bongo.

You're reading too much into my post user. I wasn't putting words in anyone's mouth, his post mentioned black people and therefore I was reminded that they exist and got triggered.
Also:
>women exist
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>splinters exist
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>existing exists
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Kender exist

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I love having the physical books when I'm prepping just to take at least a few hours of my day away from the computer screen, but it only took me one night of trying to use 2 monster manuals in the same encounter to give up on using the physical books at the table.

Shame about the store. I buy local for MSRP just because the shop owner is a long-time friend.

...

> Send the players into the Feywild for a for 5 room dungeon
> Players find 5 golden carbuncles and the boss monster
> During the boss fight tell them that the carbuncles have stopped doing carbuncle things and watch the violence
> Players decide to take the carbuncles with them, find out they communicate telepathically
> Find out that the carbuncles really love to watch violence
> Everywhere they go the players bring the carbuncles so they can watch the players fight
> Players bought a wagon and tricked it out so the carbuncles had a mobile high class wagon with amenities
> Players ended up lavishing these carbuncles for entire campaign arcs
> wtf, these were gag creatures why go so much into detail for them
> Roleplay begins to impress me, ranging from defending the carbuncles to arguing and defending Fey realm rights
> Throw them a bone
> The pets teach the players their custom spell of Reflect and the carbuncles can cast Plane Shift at anytime
> My game breaks almost immediately
> Don't care, had fun

Sorry guy but you just seem like the kind of annoying person who does stupid things and then tries to backtrack on them.

He's saying black people are better than white people!

That's wrong, black people are NOT better than white people!

You seem like the kind of cutie who'd like to taste my penis.

this is the longest series of complaints i've seen for a shitpost in a long time, user
can you stop already

So attempting to reverse-tempt my caseworker into becoming a better person. I'm playing a fiend-patron, tome of the pact tiefling warlock who's bound to Mephistopheles. The Crimson Son has set an erinyes as her overseer. I'm 95% sure this devil's a distant ancestor of my character's.

I think I have an opening in that this patron, an erinyes, is genuinely concerned for my character's well being, and holds some amount of filial affection for her. She also puts up with some of my character's idiosyncrasies. (My character is heavily misanthropic and believes she is irrevocably damned due to her fiendish heritage, but secretly yearns to be loved and happy, so she sometimes commits acts of goodness when she thinks she can get away with it.)

I've come to you, /5eg/, for inspiration, or maybe some stories about similar exploits. How can I make a devil rise?

where were you the first time mearls cucked you?

Wow, racist much?

Hunt for the Ring of Winter when? Its definatly gonna be in the continuation of SKT

September.

Share your plot hooks with me, /5eg/

The more Druid-y the better.

They are serious complaints. I don't like his shitposting. It's not clever or fun and he should be made aware of how stupid he is.

added to my campaign

An ancient druid hailing from a vastly different time awakens to find 'nature' to be very different to what he remembered it to be. Misinterpreting the natural changes of the world as some terrible perversion, he seeks to unlock an ancient source of power from his era that can return the world to its old state-a deadly ice age that almost brought all races to extinction.

All the druids in the lands are collecting to together. A druid king/chief/high priest/whatever has just been chosen and he ain't nice.

First story i gm'd it was a avatar-like bending story with different domains accosiated with each major element. Well one of my character decided to be a dark elf, after i already made it to were the demon faction killed his entire race save for 2% of them. Well anyway inner turmoile yah yah, after major fuckery (he was chaotic stupid but i gave him some leeway) they start learning of this freelance faction that wants to change the world and destroy all the domains. He comes into contact with one of them and after making him play a game of irl ping pong he won (i knew he would but i still tried) the person told gim they were on of the freelance faction. To my fucking suprise he asked to join them so i blee my balls off because one of the other party members family was slaughtered by these guys and he just wants revenge. To bad i never finished that shit

So assuming that you aren't running a montheistic or dualistic cosmology with a single or dual divinity what is the optimal size for a pantheon?

Forgotten Realms style where every race has at least a dozen gods?

Greco-Roman with about a dozen core gods?

Sumerian where every city has it's own divine patron?

Animism based where there are small gods for virtually every concept and item in the universe?

1 per major domain?

Does each race have a separate pantheon or do they worship alternative representations of the same dieties?

Does each god have it's own divine realm or do they just share a big ass romanesque temple on top of a massive mountain range?

You awake from your sleep in your chamber to find a displacer beast tied to the door of your room. A note is on his collar. It reads:

"Hello! I believe this is yours, so I've returned your pet. It has been a while since I've read anything undercommon, but I think this is the right place. - Sir Domely"

The displacer beast's collar has a decent amount of writing on it in undercommon. Feel free to flavor it up to fit whatever future story threads you want.

Yeah but the DJ always plays the same shit, it's just boring now.

I need ideas for an entertainer bard.

Ruh oh! Somebody took sacred herb seeds from the dankwood druid circle and now high druid Scoobicus ( who has lowkey substance abuse problems) needs you and the gang to assist him in its retrieval. This herb is used primarily in the papers, ropes and clothes of the druids and they export their excess goods to have gold for charitable activities. It must be retrieved before its purity can be corrupted by neerdowells preforming their nefarious deeds! Help us, my dudes, nobody cares for the dankwoods anymore!

plot twist at the end, the dankwood druid circle is just a drug cartel, and Scoobicus was an illusionist ensuring you saw bandits instead of helpless villagers and law enforcement

Earthquakes and the long passage of the millennia have shifted an underground river to run through an ancient, pre-apocalypse nuclear waste storage facility, and is now contaminating water tables downstream, poisoning the people and giving rise to strange creatures with psychic powers.