How do I avoid getting autists in my group?

Ask potential players for their opinions on certain controversial topics within the hobby.

Their answers are irrelevant. How they answer is what's important.

(Anyone got some sample controversies we can give OP?)

>No New Balance

But New Balance is about the only running shoe still made in the US.

>Alignment
>Player Mortality
>Roleplay v Rollplay
>Optimization
>Power Tiers
>Class Level Equivalency
>COASTERS!

Thank you, that's a good lost user.

Just ask for opinions on these topics. You'll never find a group of players that agree on all points, but that's OK. So long as they're reasonable about it then you know they aren't autists.

If the spaz or sperg out, you'll know not to let them sit at your table.

*good list

Fuck, I just can't type today.

Why would a bunch of non-autists want to play with someone like you?

You might not be, but definitely is.

A voyeurist?

I would actually say that if someone is younger than 16, you gotta let them play and then decide. My dms son was actually a great role player, even though I assumed he would be shit.

considering i use my backpack to hold character sheets and PC spellbooks so much easier than constantly flipping through players handbooks and spell compendiums that stipulation is shit

>No New Balance
These are literally the only widely available running shoe in burgerland. I get the stigma attached to 'em, but what alternative do you suggest?

Wait, what's wrong with my shitty extra wide shoes?

find a new hobby

Look for players who have lots of retarded hangups like

>Allow engineers only after thorough screening
Useless, I don't know anyone who can keep an engineer job while being autistic
>Play top 40 music
Out of the line. Ambient music or bust

The rest is ok

Find a new hobby

>No New Balance
literally what

10/10 hooked me good

>Enforce a dress code: No hoodies, No New Balance, No fingerless gloves, No canes, No backpacks, Bo cargo shorts, No graphic T-shirts, No trench coats, No mom jeans, No puddingbowl haircuts, No capes. No suits, and for the love of God no Fedoras

So my sweat pants, single-colour T-shirt, socks and sandals ensemble is good to go. Awesome.

Require anyone who wants to join your group to do 25 pushups in a row. There's a strong correlation between being totally out of shape and being a sperg, so this will filter out most of the undesirables.

Never join a group, as that will ensure that whatever group you would've had will have one less autist to worry about

Make them do a rep of some exercise for every experience point gained.

Gotta level big to get big c'mon!

I don't dress too bad, I'm not fat and I don't smell.
I just want people to hang out with man.

>Problem
The threat of autists
>Solution
Only invite girls to your group
>New problem
You have girls in your group

>dat sly "you're autistic if you don't like DW XDDD" b8

(you)

I'm hesitant to say try roll20, because while I've used it, but all my groups were people who already knew each other but either moved away or didn't have time to hang out in person, but maybe give it a try?

What's the worst thing that can happen?

It's not bait, it's personal experience. Autistic dudes really don't like it. They don't like storygames in general, and DW in particular seems to make them sperg even harder.
It's loose and light on numbers and reliant on lots of talking things out with the other people at the table, and it pisses them off.

But I don’t want to go among autists," OP remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said user: "we’re all autistic here. I’m autistic. You’re autistic."
"How do you know I have the autisms?" said OP.
"You must be," said user, "or you wouldn’t have come here.

Dude, it's shit. It's not even good as a storygame. It pretends not to be about rules and numbers, and yet is very much so. I hate DW and I'm someone who prefers rules-lite systems. I'd sooner play Lasers and fucking Feelings than DW.

Rules lawyering.

Nike.
Only autists wear them.

autists aren't usually the problem in groups. The problem is usually munchkins or people who want to spend the entire session arguing with the DM about some obscure rule.

Hey, I didn't say everyone who dislikes DW is an autist, dude, I just said autists are among the folks who hate it. Don't take it so personally.

Thanks for the update captain cock nozzle.

Say: "I'm sorry, I don't want autists in this group"

>no virgins

Shit then basically no players will be available, mostly losers play dnd. The well adjusted normies who rp are a meme

The best way I've found to filter out the really bad players is to ask for them to fill out a questionnaire before they submit a character. Questions include:
>Who hates your character, and has a very good reason for hating them?
>Who does your character dislike or oppose in an irrational way?
>Describe a moment of weakness or despair your character experienced that they needed outside help to overcome.
>Describe three things about your character that would be considered 'average' for a person of their race and origins.
>Where does your character see themselves in five years?

Any player who can't give a half-decent answer to any of these questions gets his character sheet torn in half. I have no patience for Mary Sues or characters without flaws, they have no place in my campaigns.

You don't. Eventually, someone, someday, will show up and seem autistic.

So instead of being a minor dick and going "Hur dur, autist, getta out of here" work with them. Recognize what it is that makes them seemingly autistic. Have they watched anime one too many times? Have they got an insatiable appetite for having a wolf companion? Do they always go "hur dur, nat 20, I reach the moon" (mind you, don't go full dick on nat 20's. They still mean something, and handled properly can be enjoyable moments).
Next, figure out how this autism translates precisely into roleplaying. I know I listed actual roleplay examples, but autism can go outside of that. Once you identify that effect on roleplay, move to the final step.
The final step is to work with them. Blatantly tell them what's wrong, what's expected, and then work with them on getting them to that stage. If you're a DM, this goes double. Very quickly, anime tropes can be reworked into something legitimately unique and interesting. A passion for a certain subject can lead to a character who actually has a center of roleplay that can be corrected for actual sense and interest. Don't just brush off people.
Cause that's the mistake. Oft times, people can actually become much more better, perhaps even a centerpiece of the group's enjoyment if worked with. Be blatant, but be kind. Patience will be key. Of course, there might be the irredeemable one. At that point, Veeky Forums is a bit more viable to go looking for advice. Otherwise, it can and should be handled one and one. (or group on one, depending on level of autism)
Any questions?

>>Describe a moment of weakness or despair your character experienced that they needed outside help to overcome.
my character was once a baby

>No New Balance

I'm assuming you just mean the white or black NBs that only autists and dads wear. Otherwise NB makes some nice sneakers, many of them made in the US or UK, so buying them is more responsible than buying similar priced Nikes/Adidas made by an 8 year old in Malaysia

Nikes are fucking trash running shoes and if you suggest them you have clearly never run further than a mile in your life

Just proves 's point.

Also checked twice.

How autistic is the answer " However it's done in this particular game is how I'll attempt to do it?"

Don't wear running shoes unless you are running. You shouldn't be wearing athletic shoes for non-athletic activities anyway you pleb.

It's cause it's not even a story game. Apocalypse World is a good storygame. Dungeon World is just a misunderstanding of it's mechanics.

>post vague subjective complaints so the only possible counter is "nuh-uh!"

>No canes
Having a bad knee is autistic now?

>intothetrashitgoes.jpg
But in all seriousness, if you can't come up with one moment, one event where your character needed someone else to bail them out, I won't read the rest of your backstory.

What if they're sheltered and have never actually been in a situation where they needed help?

What if this is their first adventure and they've never ventured outside of their village before?

What if they've never experienced a genuine moment of weakness because they grew up in an environment where they've been told that they're the best and they've never met someone who challenged that belief before?

What would you suggest wearing? Fucking boots or loafers? Act ultra weeb and have house slippers?

>Play local, so you can vette players

Good advice right there, OP. Take any potential group members for a ride in a Corvette. If they act bored and stare at their phone the whole time you'll know not to invite them to your game.

I'm sure Veeky Forums would say otherwise

I literally don't know one person who plays DnD and is a virgin.
Oh wait there's me

What if you built a cleric venturing outside the temple for the first time? They definitely don't meet the first two

If it's a online game that you're going to run, then setup a online chat with your players. Treat the online chat session as if it was a job interview.

This will allow you to assess to situation, and get to know what type of people you're dealing with. Also it allows you to explain the rules of the game. I've noticed some GM's have their players right out lengthy backstories; that usually cuts through a lot of the lazy, and flakey players.

Now if it's for a IRL game session..you can still do the meeting. However, if you're extremely anal about the situation. My suggestion is:

Go to Home Depot, or whatever hardware store is closest to you. Purchase all the necessities for you to build a life-size dungeon replica; à la Ninja Warrior style gauntlet. It will help to suss out sissy bitches, and cull the weak.

Subtly hint that potatoes are a staple food source in your fantasy medieval setting.

Is this a meme of some sort?

I'm not going to lie, if someone brought me into a job interview for their game. That gm is going to be disappointing as fuck because they've now set some high fucking expectations their way.

That's what I've run into. Just speaking out of experience. Like walking into the DMV. Please fill these out in triplicate.

In real life potatoes are only native to the americas and weren't brought over to Europe till way after medieval times. So now spergs will sperg out about "muh authenticity" if potatoes show up in a medieval Europe styled setting

>vette

vet

Oh I didn't know that. You learn something everyday.

It's not exactly common knowledge in my experience. which to be fair; it's not like it comes up very often

dont run ebberon in any capacity

Eberron, though, that's fine.

get a nice boot, if you dont wanna spend money just get some flat vans

nope Eberron also attracts autists to the highest degree

>No suits

wat. Only outgoing people have jobs which require them to wear suits. There are no autistic lawfags, businessmen, etc.

>Alignment
Would rather not, it isn't a great metric but if it's a part of what we're playing I'll try to find the best fit.
>Player Mortality
Depends on the game, though would rather not die in an unimportant encounter.
>Roleplay v Rollplay
Roleplay > Rollplay
>Optimization
As long as it fits your character, though remember it's not a competition.
>Power Tiers
Kinda sucks, wish there were better options for martials but not a dealbreaker.
>Class Level Equivalency
As in lvl 10 Paladin should be roughly equal to lvl 10 Wizard? Ideally.
>COASTERS!
What are you, a degenerate? Use a coaster.

How'd I do? Also maybe add vancian casting or something to the list. Or GURPS.

Why bother? You can't fix them and there are plenty of people out there whose company isn't torture.

Also
>much more better

Are you drunk?

Literally put "no autists" in the advertisement for your game.

Autists will avoid you, and everyone who wants to join will be an edgelord who is down with the meme. It can't fail

I have bad news. You are one of the autists

>tfw I am a mary sue

>Allow for sudden loud noises

Kill yourself you piece of shit.

The reason why autistic people find loud noises annoying is the same as everyone finds loud noises annoying. They are fucking LOUD and ANNOYING. Do not allow them, it doesn't weed out any autists, it just irritates people. Fuck you.

The sarcasm is strong in this one. Good.. good.

>So my sweat pants, single-colour T-shirt, socks and sandals ensemble is good to go. Awesome.

That's standard old grog apparel.

Get a hipflask and fishing hat to complete the look, grow an enormous Santa beard and become immense in girth and you will become the alpha gamer.

>pushups

lol

Squats. And a 10k on the treadmill.

>10k on the treadmill.
>treadmill
get a lot of this faggot

>Alignment
It's shit, in my opinion. I think it works better as a guideline for new players than as a mechanical rule because characters are so nuanced their identity isn't easily defined with one strict alignment.
>Player Mortality
I dislike dying. Oh, you meant Player Chharacter mortality?
>Roleplay v Rollplay
Where did I put that image of the guy explaining that rolling and roleplaying is like using two legs... I had it here somewhere.
>Optimization
Nothing wrong with making a character who is good at what he does, in my opinion.
>Power Tiers
They're there. You can't really deny it, right? What matters is to have fun with your character though.
>Class Level Equivalency
It's true... a character of the same level of another should have a good chance of winning against him/her in my opinion.
>COASTERS!
Keeps tables clean. I'm fine with using them.

Now yes, but at chargen I don't know if I'd be able to properly answer these for my current pc. Especially number 2. He's fairly relaxed on things that aren't trying to kill him, and they aren't exactly irrational hatreds.

>Only outgoing people have jobs which require them to wear suits. There are no autistic lawfags, businessmen, etc.

You're wrong there

There are absolutely autistic businessmen, they're called accountants

Also the problem isn't people wearing a suit for work, it's wannabe toffs who wear a suit for casual occasions because they think it's classy and what people did in the 20s/50s/80s

>It's another "deendee-rone thinks all games are his shitty game," episode

>Foul mouthed and quick to vitriol, and a pendant, willfully ignorant when it suits them, willing to put up with a bad environment simply because its their environment.

Yeah nah.

>this pleb opinion
non-athletic shitter who wears flatbottoms & loafers spotted

Man, you must really hate coasters.

>But in all seriousness, if you can't come up with one moment, one event where your character needed someone else to bail them out, I won't read the rest of your backstory.

Man it's hard to invent things you've never experienced in your own life.

Like, I have stupid inconsequential shit in my life like "needed dad to show up with the car because I'd accidentally taken the bus in the wrong direction" (He didn't, btw, and I walked home) but I have literally nothing like that in my life.

I've plenty of things that turned bad because I was too proud to ask for help but that's not the same is it?

The rings give my table more character.

You sound, legit, like a terrible player. Please stick to DnD and die quietly within it.

>the rings give more character
>scars are actually cool and don't detract charisma
You belong in the Just fuck you REEEEEEEEEEEE

Sorry Mark, but I'm already in your group. You won't be able to stop me from spreading the gospel of the coasters, now

A knight in shining armor has never truly had their mettle tested, user.