Heya! It's me, Imoen

I CANNOT BE CAGED

I'm sorry that you feel that way, old man

I will be the last! You will go first...

My prices are the best south of Waterdeep.

my hotel is as clean as an elven arse

EAT FLAMING...or uh, possibly frosty... DEATH!

Ok, I've just about had my FILL of riddle asking, quest assigning, insult throwing, pun hurling, hostage taking, iron mongering, smart arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!

Man a live action Baldur's Gate would be great.
Realistically, I hold out faint hope for something animated.

>people actually wanted Imoen incest

It's OK if your dad is a God. Just ask Zeus and Hera.

Something not animated by bioware, one would hope

...

The Imoen mod was rewritten completely and finished for both SoA and ToB in 2016, it's a critically acclaimed masterpiece now.

Thank God it wasn't just me.

No it's not. You're just a shitty photoshop of Alyson Hannigan.

Ha, ye're a queer fellow.

Hey there shexy, do ya want to take a look at me tiddies?

I wish this guy would do everyone.

What is your bhaaspawn doing now in the dnd 5th

Fan fiction, getting farmed for 60 EXP. Reminder that this is a guy who toppled level 20 BBEGs.

Probably fucking about in Realmspace on Minsc's ship.

>implying
The novelization does not exist.

You mean the novelization where he gets Imoen, Jaheira and everyone else killed?

Where this happens?
>For a time it was believed that Bhaal's resurrection had been ended. The last known Bhaalspawn, Abdel Adrian, resisted the murderous impulses caused by his lineage and became a famed and beloved figure in the city of Baldur's Gate. Near the beginning of the era known as "The Sundering" another Bhaalspawn, Viekang, who was thought dead, attacked Adrian as he spoke to a crowd in the portion of town known as The Wide. The ultimate winner of the duel is unknown, although it matters not as the victor transformed into a massive, blood soaked creature and began a rampage which was only stopped when a group of adventurers new to Baldur's Gate defeated and killed the monstrosity.
tfw writing and story is so terrible you're forced to kill off your main character

Also where he trust Bodhi like a fucking moron who should definitely not have 11 Wisdom

Yes, that book does not exist.

Also made Minsc a redheaded barkeep.

I swim in memories at places such as this...most unpleasant memories.

I can kind of see it.

Still one of the greatest games of all time.

Looks like Willow from Buffy.

Y'know, if you can get over the murder of Abdel/CHARNAME, the module is actually really good. It's basically Les Miserables in D&D, with your characters getting to choose whether Enjolras, Javert, or some French noble becomes the Chosen of Bhaal.

Personally? I have all three become the Chosen, but it's possible to save two of them

I also modify the module so that Abdel, while not quite as strong as in Throne of Bhaal, is still a very, very high level powerhouse. It's just that Viekang is as well. So the fight plays out between the two of them and they weaken each other until one dies and the other becomes the Slayer and has to be put down, but has drastically reduced hit points due to the fight and so actually can be, with help from the Flaming Fist.

Oh yeah, no, the book emphatically does not exist. When I ran Murder in Baldur's Gate, Abdel was there, but all he shared with the book retard was his name and status as Bhaalspawn. Otherwise I basically ran him as Conan the Barbarian, what with his gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth.

Oh, hey, what do you know, I still have my original notes for how the whole thing went down...

BALDUR'S GATE I
- Abdel Adrian - Protagonist
- Imoen - Followed Abdel; died against Amelyssan
- Monteraun - Zhentarum agent investigating iron crisis. Found out by Khalid & Jaheira. Escaped, ended up in Amn, where he was killed by Harpers
- Xzar - Zhentarum agent investigating iron crisis. Found out by Khalid & Jaheira. Escaped, ended up in Amn, where he was killed by Harpers.
- Khalid - Harper agent investigating iron crisis. Stuck with Abdel for some time. Killed by Irenicus between BGI and BGII
- Jaheira - Harper agent investigating iron crisis. Stuck with Abdel for some time. Killed in the final battle with Irenicus. NO ROMANCE.
- Minsc - Rashemi warrior-berserker protector of Dynaheir. Stuck with Abdel through BGII, left prior to Throne of Bhaal.
- Dynaheir - Rashemi witch. Stuck with Abdel through BGI. Killed by Irenicus between BGI and BGII

FINAL PARTY: Abdel, Imoen, Khalid, Jaheira, Minsc, Dynaheir

BALDUR'S GATE II
- Abdel Adrian - SEE above; sided with the Shadow Thieves
- Imoen - SEE above
- Minsc - SEE above
- Jaheira - SEE above
- Yoshimo - Secretly an agent for Irenicus, via geas. Was forced to betray Abdel. Didn't want to. Killed by Abdel.
- Aerie - Wingless avariel. Joined with Abdel in Amn, remained with him through it. Left prior to Throne of Bhaal with Minsc. NO ROMANCE
- Korgan - Crazy guy who kind of just started following Abdel around. Survived fight with Irenicus, wandered off in search of more money.

FINAL PARTY: Abdel, Imoen, Minsc, Jaheira, Aerie, Korgan

THRONE OF BHAAL
- Abdel Adrian - SEE above
- Imoen - SEE above
- Sarevok - Former villain brought back from the dead. Somewhat reformed by Abdel and Imoen. Died against Amelyssan.

FINAL PARTY: Abdel, Imoen, Sarevok

>no Planescape
>or Ravenloft
>or Dark Sun

0/10

I don't know if you noticed, but that entire thing is exclusively referring to tabletop RPG SYSTEMS, not settings.

Its barely incest, what with gods being involved

I don't believe you

>best character paired with best edition
As it should be.

But 5e isn't on here...oh, wait, you mean Keldorn and 2e.

Eh, I prefer 5e, but 2e is a classic.

>Xan
CoC you say...?

But Amber isn't that great a game.

I CANNOT BE CONTAINED

>not wanting to potentiate divine gene material

god incest is good incest

>official charname didn't ascend

hah

loser.

Rewrite was finalized in 2016. It's finally done, user.

...

DESU that's from the old version which may have been done by a husband/wife duo, the new one is a bit more solid

But can you rape her in the pooper?

yes

In fairness, I wanted it back when I didn't know it would be incest.

Fun for all the family!

>Abdel Adrian
Did somebody just Google boys' names and pick two from the beginning of the A page?

Why do I know you mean Minsc and 4e?

No, what I don't believe is your claim that it is a masterpiece, though I wouldn't be surprised to find out there were critics proclaiming it to be so

SHUT UP IMOEN

Why don't you play it and find out?

You must gather your party before venturing forth.

Oh, what party member decided to be on the opposite side of the fucking map this time?

'Path Search Nodes', '32000' to 'Path Search Nodes', '400000'

youtube.com/watch?v=IlvxKEP38ds

So let me get this straight:

1e players are weirdos
2e players are old
Non one likes 3.5 players, and they always insist they're right.
4e players are loyal, competent, and lovable, but also not very smart.
PF finders don't have a soul.
Iron Heroes players are... violent?
Blue Rose players cut themselves while thinking of romance stories
No one cares about Amber as a system
GURPS players abandon their families
WoD players talk about sex and how dark and brooding their past is.
d20 modern players are edgy mary sues that nobody likes.
L5R players are out of place weeaboos.
Fantasycraft players are well meaning but a bit pushy.
Exalted players won't stop going on about how powerful they are.
CoC players are scared of everything because they're giant pussies.
FATAL is played by psychopaths.

Is that right?

>Non one likes 3.5 players, and they always insist they're right.
Yes, indeed. Speak once more against those with enough intelligence to grind you into salt and I'll instill a bit more respect in you, fool.

Pretty good, but I would add "idiots" in there to the FATAL players.

>CoC players are scared of everything because they're giant pussies.
Xan isn't scared, he's a fatalistic depressive.

Khalid is the only BG1 companion with low morale.

But who would 5e be?

>No one cares about Haer'Dalis
Say that to my face, not online and see what happens.

seems about right

we found 3.5 player

Rasaad?
Well meaning and balanced, but a bit boring.

>From Enhanced Edition
>Remake of a 15 year old game to tap into the grognard market
Checks out.

I would flip the first two. In my experience, 1e players are old, 2e players are weridos.

And of course Basic players are friendly, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

psychopaths are idiots user. the condition comes with a learning disability

FC players also care more about shit players of other editions don't, like reputation, family/contacts, and playing a character despite it being a terrible race/class choice

>FC players also care more about shit players of other editions don't, like reputation, family/contacts, and playing a character despite it being a terrible race/class choice
>I only played 3.5 and 4th

My hotel is as clean as an Elven arse!

I CANNOT BE CONTROLLED

Is he fighting Phandalin dragon cultists?

This is perfect

yes, he was petrified for 100 years.

I remember there was a controversy with the mod maker (I guess the original, since this is a rewrite) trying to mack on ladies for hot cybersex that were in the same little modding community or whatever. Before that people were shitting on it because it was full of weird S&M and rape stuff or something.

Old school RPG modding, good times(?)

same

I dunno, maybe? Google would have only been 2 years old in 1998 when BG was released - and presumably even younger when the character of Abdel was created - and wasn't yet the powerhouse that it is today.

the whole point of 4e is that whatever race and class you pick you're still able to contribute
(unless you pick vampire)

I'm 100% sure that writers who are paid to write novels about video games actually hate video games and try their best to make them shit.

Has there ever been a good novel about a good game?
I mean the kotor novels were garbage too.

What's wrong with vampires in 4E?

Can the old school hold a candle to the guy who made an uninstanced cities mod for skyrim, then decided his vision of the world included giant ugly deactivated oblivion portals in every city?

And then went Archmage Autismidas when people made versions of the mod without them?

basically, every class a built-in mechanic to fulfill their combat role.

Strikers have extra damage
Defenders have a way to protect their allies
controllers have a way to put status effects in many enemies at once
leaders can heal and give various buffs

The vampire has none of those things.
He is literally lacking a core mechanic of D&D 4e.

Really? In my experience, if you didn't have your character in 4E completely min-maxed and planned out completely at inception, then they were completely useless and wouldn't survive for more than 1-2 levels. Then again, maybe I was just playing with a shite DM, since we also had a TPK every 0-3 levels.

your dm was crazy
or maybe part of that one "fourthcore" movement that tried to make 4e more gritty and lethal.

Either way no, 4e is very specifically designed to give everything a character needs to contribute trough his class basic mechanic.

>Viekang
>that guy who auto-teleported away when he was afraid
>killing any other Bhaalspawn

Come on, Aerie could have beaten that guy to the ground. Without any weapons, i'd say.

Maybe he can't be controlled.
He could, however, die like an idiot in a magic duel against a crippled avariel and a spoiled young noblewoman whose castle was conquered by trolls.
I didn't even need any close combat in the last playthrough.

this shit game is full of TeH PenGuIn of D00M shitlike this I fucking hate it !

>Not knowing the difference between ernest fun and Lel self aware deapool 4th wall breaking metahumor

>He could, however, die like an idiot in a magic duel against a crippled avariel and a spoiled young noblewoman whose castle was conquered by trolls.

Both of which are likely to have explored half the sword coast, the underdark, fought drows, beholders, ilithids, liches, demiliches, hordes of vampires, genies, hundreds of undead, and probably slayed a dragon or three.

Oh, and they are pretty much guaranteed to be covered in ridiculously powerful magic items, and be level 15 or higher, have done their own personal quests and thus becoming better people than what they were when you first encountered them.

surely someone posting on Veeky Forums knows that the giant space hamster is an actual D&D monster right?

...yeah, jesus christ.

It takes SERIOUS work to actually TPK a group in 4e.

It's pretty easy to down a guy (They have more HP than 3.5 early levels but enemies have a lot of nasty abilities) but actually finishing them off requires pushing to -bloodied (Or multiple failed death saves). Rather than 3.5's '10 past your max HP when you start getting HP over 100'

Being a lot less rocket tag and 'Oops, he died' it generally requires foes actively trying to curb stomp a guy while he's down rather than moving onto his allies (Or everyone getting downed at once) to have death in 4e.