1 in 1,000,000,000 humans across the globe now have super powers

powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Teleportation_Barrier_Generation
Teleporting with a shield deciding what gets teleported
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Object_Immortality
We lich now

I guess I'd be some asshole who fucks with people, and then skedaddles away, and who the heroes have to stop by finding my mystical magical McGuffin.
For the sake of fairness, I'm going to assume not even I know what exactly the mystical magical McGuffin is.

Wanna team up on ?

First street level powers in a row

powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Absolute_Athleticism
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Gluttony_Inducement

Work used in tandem but way more fitting for a villain than for a hero.

powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Perfume_Magic?useskin=oasis
And
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Art_Physiology?useskin=oasis

Yay! I can be a real superhero, just like I always wanted. Watch out villains, here I go!!

Rolled 5 (1d20)

Sure! Let's defeat him once and for all.

All Villains
The two heroes.

Rolled 19 (1d20)

Rolling to try and cut him with my teleportation:

powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Molecular_Deconstruction
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Weapon_Regeneration

So, I take appart my enemies and use their parts to regenerate my Weapon!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

We heroes will win in the end! With the fragrance of love!

Gotcha