The barbarians insist on urinating while standing up

>The barbarians insist on urinating while standing up

Look, if she's figured out how to do it without wetting her loincloth, let her do what she wants.

It baffles me Americans stand up to piss.

Wait, urinals aren't a thing everywhere else?

In what kind of situation would this ever even come up?

I'm not sure where you're from, but as far as I know literally every man stands up to piss. It's one of the more common advantages of having a dick in the first place.

>You notice her dick is bigger than yours while she urinates

Slay their men, their women, their elderly, their children, their babies and their lifestock. Burn their remains on desecrated pyres. Then, shatter their ashes into the Forbidden Winds. Carve out all references to these barbarians from all monuments. Rewrite all scrolls with mention of them - without mention of them, and burn the old scrolls.

This atrocity will not stand.

>pissing all over the toilet

I see. You're a grownass man who still lives with their mom and has never done a day of cleaning in their lives and doesn't know what it is like to be self-sufficient.

>visit a friend
>go to the toilet
>notice this yellow haze of dried up piss splatter on the toilet seat
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Have you ever tried aiming?

We lift the lid you dumbfuck.

>Not being able to hit the toilet water
>Not putting the seat up
It's a problem with you, not the concept.

Have you tried not being a lazy fuck and running a piece of toilet tissue over the seat if you've pissed on it? You wash your hands after anyway right? No, you probably don't you sorry sack of shit.

>Have you tried not being a lazy fuck and running a piece of toilet tissue over the seat if you've pissed on it?

>piss on the seat
>better put some toilet paper on it, that will surely be hygienic enough

This kind of thinking is exactly the problem. Cleaning a toilet seat isn't done by rubbing some paper on it, you fucking retarded cocksucker.

Rekt.

Disgusting

>get a mage to fix it

Hello troll. Glad you could come and make this thread just to shitpost about some inane thing nobody actually has an issue with. Hope you get lemon juice on a paper cut and have a bad day.

With love,
user

>It's one of the more common advantages of having a dick in the first place.
That's why it needs to go, as blatantly male privilege.

Good user, I clap for you

Is it an American clap or a European clap?

>get a butcher knife to fix it

>as far as I know literally every man stands up to piss.
Not that guy, but I don't, unless I'm desperate. Seems like a good way to get the last squirts of piss all over your shoes.

It's supposedly bad for your prostate too, but I dunno.

>he's actually okay with people cleaning up piss stains by just putting some TP on it

Seems awfully drastic. Better a small dick than no dick, right?

all the time?

Girls get tiddies so let's call it even.

The toilet seat is hard and glossy, pee won't stick to it. TP absorbs it all, and can be easily disposed of afterwards. You're making a mountain out of molehill.

Even when they don't have to pee.

I can't actually tell if Yuropoors actually sit down to urinate like women, or if they're just taking the piss.

I'm pretty sure this is bait.

>The toilet seat is hard and glossy, pee won't stick to it.

You've never lived on your own, or done any cleaning in the house.

It's just one or two people trying to troll by pretending to have an overly emotional argument a discussion about a meaningless and non-existant problem.

In other words, business as usual for Veeky Forums.

>as far as I know literally every man stands up to piss.
I don't know about you, but my dick drips after I pee. If I'm sitting down, those drips go into the toilet. If I'm standing up, they go onto my pants.

>tfw i am not the only one

Most dicks are long enough that holding them out to pee gives them clearance away from your pants and orients them over the toilet instead.

I know I'm taking the bait and it's a terrible habit, but did nobody teach you to shake the last drop off your dick after taking a piss?

Too much work. I'm not going to bother aiming my dick when I could read the newspaper instead.

>The barbarians force the males of the people they conquered to sit down when peeing to remind them of their inferiority

Why bother shaking it off when you can just sit comfortably with the newspaper for an additional 20 seconds dripping out?

If you're pissing long enough to read a newspaper then you've got serious health problems.

Shake it 3 times. Any less won't do. Any more and you're just playing with it.

You're the one who clearly hasn't cleaned, If you can't get piss off a toilet seat

...

>urinating

Underrated.

No matter how
You shake and dance,
The last drops end
up in your pants.
Burma shave.

>Not taking a bit of TP and just wiping it off your dick

>The barbarians force the males of the people they conquered to sit down when peeing to remind them of their inferiority

>I piss sitting down

Why not just go ahead and get that sex change operation, you sissy fags.

I actually still stand up when I'm at home, it's just so much more convenient.

No...Really? You must be some kind of Rocket Scientist

I'm just glad that my masculinity is just so obvious I do not need to care for how I piss just to feel like a man.

This thread is retarded, and you all are retarded for posting in it.

And now I'M retarded.

But at least I can piss standing up.

I bet you cry after you masturbate

Nah, I just throw away the tissue and wash the vaseline off.

>vaseline
I see you're not a real man

>wanting cockburn

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Never had one. I don't understand you guys needing lube

what's it like in India?

Maybe you should work on your refractory period. I typically go for a two-sessions-in-one-go.

Piss is sterile.

>implying he isn't German

Germany literally puts alarms on their toilets to shame you into not lifting the seat

ITT:
>"Pissing while standing up is retarded and barbaric!"
>"user, have you tried to do it the proper way instead of complaining and calling people who disagree with you idiots?"
>"n-no u"

...And now I realize I've taken the bait too.

That's actually an urban legend. Piss is dissolved waste material.

Animals specifically evolved precum because the waste materials in piss will literally kill of your sperm if they come into contact with each other. Precum "washes" the pipe ensuring semen doesn't come into contact with piss.

Tears of joy, my friend.

Apart from the blatant bait, this is not something I'd be suprised to see an Elf saying.
I mean, Muhammad said it and everyone was okay with that.

>The barbarians insist on urinating while standing up
So they urinate when standing up, not stand up when urinating?