If Karn joins the Jacewatch I will lose it

If Karn joins the Jacewatch I will lose it.

The Gatewatch was a mistake

>Gatewatch
wut?

basically a super special club of planeswalkers who once got together to stop two fuckpowerful eldrazi titans from turning an entire world into dust and bismuth, while some random fuck demon tries to be a random fuck. It consists of a spunky lesbian, a useless elf, the physical embodiments of lawful good and neutral evil, a special snowflake that doesn't call home, and a bara furry. This club is also slowly growing in ranks with a lot of older characters people recognize because if there's one thing Magic needs it's a recurring theme of cards that get printed every block with a story line that follows these chucklefucks through every plane they visit.

This got me thinking. The Gatewatch just keeps growing. Each block since their inception they've gained a new member. In a year's time, they'll be nearly unstoppable if the trend continues. With only 5 members, they've already managed to take out the three eldrazi titans, the biggest, most ferocious beings alive. Now imagine the Gatewatch with Ugin and Karn on their side. With such an unstoppable cast no evil could stand up to the Jacetice League.

The Gatewatch are endangering the storyline of magic, and in doing so, the game itself. It goes to say, then, in a metanarrative perspective, that the Gatewatch are actually the villains of MTG, threatening the series with their blandness.

The only one who can save us from this awful fate is the true hero, the Planeswalker who's been with us the longest: Bolas. If Bolas can disband or cripple the Gatewatch in Amonkhek, he can delay the further stagnation of MTG's already poor writing. The fate of Magic is in his hands.

I gonna be honest, I doubt Ugin is joining the 'watch. He's definitely something of a TN character and Wizards is establishing his as having beef with the gatewatch over killing the Titans, Jace especially.

Karn, though, I can definitely see. I hope to GOD that doesn't happen though. But fuck, I'll probably still follow the story anyway 'cuz I dunno.

The Superfriends Justiceleague Communityactionpals Rainbowcoalition.

>seeing their power Bolas petitions to join the Gatewatch
>gets accepted and promises to use his powers for good from now on

It's called the Jacetice league, you alt right trolls

>Bolas kills them all

That's what I hope they're setting up

I don't know about you, but I'm excited for the Injacetice league, starring Nicol Bolas, Tibalt, and Nahiri.

>He's lying.
>Bolas influences recruitment choices until the Jacetice League becomes a Bolashood of Evil.

>Nicol Bolas treating anyone as an equal
>Nahiri willingly allying herself with someone she'd see as evil
>Either of them deigning to even interact with Tibalt

I'd say Nixilis, Vraska, Tibalt, and Ashiok are good candidates for a Bad Guys Team Up.

Bolas is still sorta his own faction, with the only other current member being Tezzeret after the Khans block.

Lilli defects and it'll be fucking worth. Bonus points if they appeal to get better nature, she agrees to join them again, and then hexes them the second their backs are turned because "You dumb shits I already betrayed you once, clearly you're not cut out for this"

>bad boy teenagers club of magic
My body is ready

There's also a cruel irony that a rag tag group of shitty planeswalkers would be far greater writing then what we have in Jacetice

I'd pay money for a TV show about a bunch of kidwalkers who have lighthearted adventures while still being totally canon
> go to Innestrad
> destroy a bunch of eldritch horrors
> realize that they're people who got mindraped by momma
> episode ends without any payoff
> next episode starts with them crossing "Innestrad" off a list and being chipper as always
MtG should be so much darker than it already is

>tfw Garruk axe murders the entire Gatewatch

I'm still not sure how Garruk was G instead of GB in the first place, or at the least GR. He was all about that freedom, strength is all that matters, despite being trained in some druid powers. He's not exactly the best example of green, which is meant to at least care about all life.

Green is survival of the fittest, and he's ripped.

>Oath of Garruk
>Just a bloody axe on the floor
>When (x) enters the battlefield destroy target planeswalker.
>"There's one down."

10/10. Little bitch Nissa first hopefully, so Green goes back to being Dwarf planeswalkers when?

God, I fucking wish.

Because green is about the natural order and survival of the fittest. Gay elves are green white. Garruk should stay green

is this porn

I like this twist

All you guys who don't like the mtg story:
If you don't like the mtg story, that's fine. I don't like it either. I think wizards of the coast aren't doing a very good job right now, and aren't producing anything I like.

That's fine.

Stop following their stories, stop playing in their tourneyments, and play causal games with your friends. You can make up your own rules, allow whatever cards you like, and have more fun.

and if you don't have friends, just go to your lgs and do the same thing with whoever hangs around on off days.! Lol! You won't even have to pay for a tourneyment!

>still caring about the lore
The ongoing story has been fucked since Time Spiral, and the nuwalkers lost any hope of redeeming themselves somewhere around Return to Ravnica. As a massive lorefag who's currently in the process of buying all the pre-revision novels he can find just to have some worthwhile MtG literature, I say to you: it's time to let go, user. Make your own stories. Wizards doesn't have any left in them.

Maybe? idk, I saved it a few weeks ago courtesy of another user.

lol!

lol that's why I don't read it! Just play the game for fun, and go watch shows you like on tv or something. Why do you care about the "official" story? LoL!

>Make your own stories.
Is that an invitation to start another MTG snowflake thread?

> make your own stories
Can fucking do, I'm planning to run a full quest involving actual games at the end of the year

It's apparently safe but you never know.

Looking at that profile I'd invite you to look into pre-Lorwyn Magic lore, which is where the real good stuff is. Wizards makes it hard to find these days but you won't regret it.

Sounds tops, user, I hope it goes well and I hope you post the results here.

Lol! Absolutely! Those are honestly more fun than reading anything wizards releases.

lol!

That website gets thing wrong all the time! I think its definately porn. Lol!

lol! My dad had a theme deck! It used banding creatures! He always beat me! I think bands with other legends is still a useless ability though.

It is, a porn version of a pilot cartoon called
The Modifyers. It was pretty good. The cartoon I mean, not the porn.

lol~

I'm sure you enjoyed the porn too!

My best outcome would be this
>next big threat faces the jacetice league
>shit is going down, dire straights
>Chandra & Gideon go down
>Liliana has to step up
>out of fucking no where Garruk
>Garruk kills Liliana, finally finding justice
>shit Garruk we needed that black mana
>Garruk changes from Green/Black to Black
>rises to the occasion
>Garruk's Oath
>it's literally counter synergy to the other Oaths and ticks off planeswalker life each turn
If only

lol! Why spend this much time hoping someone else will make something that you enjoy, when you can make it yourself.

Go, user! Be free! Fly like a biiiird
hehe

What implores you to write lol! in every post? What lurks in the mind of lol!user?

loooooooooL!

I've read summaries of the pre-lorwyn lore on wiki's and such. Any novels you'd recommend?

lol! The arena novel is pretty good! It has some good characters and a super steamy scene in a bath house!

>>shit Garruk we needed that black mana
Is that literally why they needed Lilliana? Don't they know that even multiple mages can channel all five colors regardless of their color identity, if they gather the mana bonds?

This new fucking lore man, it's garbage.

Lol! Why are you even paying attention to this story if you don't like it! I don't read it at all

Arena is indeed fantastic, but that's pre-revision lore. The best of post-revision is generally agreed to be the Urza saga. My favorite book is The Brothers' War, and it and its sister novels are conveniently collected into two anthologies, Artifacts Cycle I and II. Aside from that-

If you like eastern mythology, you'll enjoy Kamigawa and Tetsuo's Legends cycle, the latter of which features Nicol Bolas' first major starring role.

If you like long, character driven storylines, Weatherlight saga is basically everything the Gatewatch is trying and failing to be. The quality has its ups and downs, but everything is highly connected to the cards, so if you like it it's easy to make a theme deck around it.

If you like pulpy detective adventures, then Ravnica will do you nicely. It's somewhat like Terry Pratchett's Night Watch by way of MtG.

Mirrodin and Odyssey/Onslaught largely read like big RPG adventures with lots of boss fights, simple smashy fun with likeable protagonists.

The Ice Age cycle has the quality writing of The Brothers' War at a smaller scale, and features Jaya Ballard, Chandra's much-more-likeable prototype.

As far as pre-revision, it's the best place to get lower-fantasy, medieval, grittier stories. Lots of sex, blood and moral conundrums, and this is where Planeswalkers as terrifying forces of nature were established. I can personally recommend Arena, the Gull and Greensleeves saga, and Prodigal Sorcerer (the novel that created the Viashino) as well as both of the anthologies.

lol! The old stories are much better because they don't take themselves too seriously!

Urza is a badass, who will pass into legend.

Thanks for the rundown user, definitely going to see if I can find a copy of Ravnica asap and the rest are going onto my reading list.

Can you please stop posting like a preteen redditer. It's fucking obnoxious.

Oh, I'm sure they'll pull a Marvel and bring out some Civil War bullshit, or Bolas will just nuke everything and PTSD them all into going their seperate ways for a few blocks until most of them come back together.

Lol! I don't particularly care what they do with the story, but the new cards aren't that bad!

>lol
>Four times in one post
>Mix of capitalisation and non-capitalisation

Is this the MtG crowd these days? Holy shit my man, you need to fucking kill yourself.

I'm certain Ugin would rather pull Jace, Candra and Nissa inside out for being retards than even consider joining their little cult.

Then again, let's hope Karn does join. Every faction he has been a part of got absolutely ruined.

LoL! You might not predict what they'll do in the book!

Remember, these are characters that the company uses to sell merchandise!

>Get hyped as fuck that they're bringing back Yawgmoth via Karn
>They puss out

I fucking blame Scars for all of this. It could have been so good. Fucking faggot writers..

Always happy to spit lore with people. Back in the day some people played for the storyline above all else, and I hope one day that can be the case again. The days of fat packs with entire paperback novels bundled in should not be lost to time.

Ramaz and Baltrice too.
Bolas likes his magic hobos.

loL! There's plenty of good stuff in the game.

You can still have fun

>lol

lol those were the best.

I was a bit young at the time, so my daddy didn't let me read the naughty bits (.>.)

It's not just the MTG crowd, he's shitposting in at least 2 other threads right now. He's just farming (you)'s.

I wouldn't be inclined to give him that much credit. I think hes new and thinks that vernacular is acceptable here.

:(

Also unacceptable
Call me a faggot and don't uses these faggot ass emotes you fucking pussy.

So how long is it going to take for WotC to actually do something with all this build-up? Cause it sounds like they should at least be putting out 4 minute webisodes just to get everyone clear on what's happening where and when with each set.

>Gatewatch: Civil War

lol! You're quite disrespectful, so I don't have do do what you say.

Bleh! :P

I've said it once, I'll say it again. Animated series, it's the only way to go

lol that might actualy be cute!

If this is bait I take it back, I'm impressed user
It takes skill to come across as this retarded

It's depressing because it's so fucking obviously what they're gonna do with it.

lol why do u even care

So basically the best way it would work is Jacetice League: Unlimited.
What's the voice cast?

Nicol Bolas by whoever's voicing Aku in Samurai Jack season 5 right now.
Everyone else is literally disposable.

lol they'll do everything slow and dramatic to make people want it even though its bad.

I'll ignore it for 6 months and then watch the good episodes my friends tell me! LOL

I should have been asleep an hour ago but I'm genuinely curious as to when you're going to quit you're shitposting. You are a spectre haunting this board. All the threads on the front page of Veeky Forums are afflicted by it.

>get enough random mages together and you can channel all 5 colors of mana, no big deal
That's fucking stupid, and broken. Get over your shitty old lore, nostalgiafags.
Even with all its faults newschool story is good. Could be better, definitely, but it's good.

Clearly needs more pandering to transexuals, minorities, and women.

Like I said, could be better. I still haven't forgiven them for making Liliana, the Last Hope have overcompensating swag art when in the context Vs Emrakul (see trailer + article) she was defiant but also somber and lonely.
And when they officially previewed her card that Asian cuck presenter they had on was praising the stupid swag art, fucking gushing like the retarded yes-man he is.

But yeah otherwise pretty good.

>the writing for this property is shit
>become emotionally invested in the writing of this property
>complain about shit writing
You brought this on yourself.

>Garruk kills Liliana, finally finding justice
>shit Garruk we needed that black mana
>Garruk doesn't give a fuck
>he walks out with looking back

Drawing scared women is sexism.

I really want to just filter them but I don't know how to do it without filtering a ton of perfectly fine posts.

So if they DO pull a civil war, which im sure they will, what will the sides be like?

I feel like we'll have Jace and Gideon leading one side, with Chandra and Nissa leading the other.

Maybe we'll have lilliana join one side, then backstab and join the other at the last moment.

Tamiyo will come back and join Jace and Gideon, as will Ajani.

Tibalt will make an appearance on Nissa and Chandra's team, as will Sorin.

Sarhkan will probably be swinging with team lesbian.


And we'll have all the less important plansewalkers slowly picked off by Garruk (helped by Bolas) one by one, who remains neutral, until only the original Jacetice League remains and it looks like he's
Until Elspeth comes back and bands the two teams together, so it's them vs Garruk and Bolas

>Garruk killing off less important walkers
>Tibalt not being the first to die
Shiggy diggy doo

Absolutely nothing. We're not even sure he actually has a mind.

>Garruk's Oath
>Flavour text: "I swear I'm going to rip your fucking head off and put my dick in the hole"

As much as I love tibalt, he would be the first to die 100%.

Probably followed by Dovin

The only disrespectful person is you for going against established board cultures.
Lurk more.

Veeky Forums has no culture. We need open borders with other websites like Facebook and Reddit, to be enriched by their cultures. :^)

I would forgive Wizards for all their shitty decisions if they did this.

You came to the wrong corner of the internet friendo

>sadistic blonde animu grill
I've been in cryonic stasis for 10 years, who is this fluid druid?

I maintain that MTG is far more enjoyable if you ignore the story.

Karn was a mistake

Watch Youjo Senki

It's a pretty much the story of a man who fedora'd so hard that god reincarnates him as a little girl in WW1 germany with magic. Best part of the story is fedora tipper getting trolled by god. Worst part of story is fedora tipper will not shut up about fedoras.

Worth a watch anyway.

I've made a terrible mistake. I'm going back to the freezer now.

Alas.

Y'know, I've been strongly considering doing something like this. Anyone got a template?

I know it's autistic but the mtgverse is highly compelling.
Would dig a discord to geek out on.