Dwarf in a Dungeon

Dwarf in a Dungeon
>It's good to be underground again. I'm almost reminded of my own home, except the monsters here are weaker and don't know how to cook or knit
>Ah! I recognize this type of stonework! Here's some helpful information!
>Don't worry, I'll just walk it off. It's a good thing that trap's poison was intended to kill humans and elves.

Elf in a Dungeon
>It's cold and damp and I can't see the sky and I want to go hoooooooome.
>Oh look a shiny thing why don't I go and touch it and set off all the traps in this room?
>*Trips on slightly uneven floor* *Dies*

>Dwarf.
>Not reacting to the potential goblins.

Halfling in a dungeon
>I'm cold, my feet hurt, I wish I was back in my burrow smoking a blunt
>at least I can see and nothing can see me
>shame there's not enough space to fling stones at the tallsies

Human in a Dungeon
>Darkness like this really makes me want to breed with other races
>I wish I could see if the monster I'm fighting was hot or not
>I hope no one else in the party can see me fucking this hole in the masonry in the dark

Half-elf in a Dungeon
>being able to see in this darkness is quite arousing
>Why isn't everyone paying attention to my mediocrity and not the monsters?
>I hope everyone else can see me fucking this hole in the masonry in the dark

Half-orc in a Dungeon
>OW! Why doorway so small?
>OW! Why corridor ceiling so small?
>OW! Why elf slave so small?

> You need the elf guide to reach the dungeon through the savage wilds that surround it.
> You need the dwarf miner to guide you inside the underground dungeon.
It's a team, user!

Dwarf in a Dungeon
>Aaaah yes, stench and lack of oxygen. All that fresh air topside was lessening my tolerance for body odor. Let's have another meal consisting of nothing but beer, meat and ripe cheese.
>Ah! I recognize this type of stonework! Cunningly disguised as wooden beams and clay bricks mass produced by humans. Dwarven work.
>Ach, quit yer whining. Yes, I left the wound fester for so long that it now requires a 3000gp salve to heal, but none of you girly longshanks can appreciate gold properly anyway.

Elf in a Dungeon
>Three groups of humanoids, one otygh, one group of men in plate armor moving cautiously but scraping their shoulders on the walls every few feet. Smell of incense? Dwarf won't shut up.
>Wyvern poison of mummy rot? Poison. Rust monster dust in pouch 3. Floor too clean, should have brought more slashing weapons.
>Shiny in the middle of an empty room, floor actually trapped instead of being a decoy. This job used to be exciting. Am I getting old? No, kobolds are just worthless. Dwarf is farting and laughing at the echoes.

This is more like it.

Shut up elfcuck.

Elves suck. Dwarf rule. When the time comes elfcucks will be hanging from the trees they love so much.

Day of the Saw when?

Put that katana away and stop being such an egdefag, jesus christ.

Cry some more, stumpy.

t.elfcucks

When they manage to reach the shelf.

you killed my sides.

Your daughter is hiding centerfolds with naked elf men under her bed, and you know it. Your mother did the same, and her mother too. You were the bitter consolation prize.

Also your metalworking sucks.

>Insinuate elves aren't hot shit like they claim
>Instant stream of autistic screeching, whining and vitriol
Elfcucks, ladies and gentlemen.

This thread was started by some anti-elffag, though.

Yes and you elfcucks couldn't just leave the thread alone and take it like little faggy pussybois you are.

>hurf durf im elf and im useful
Useful elf: said no one fucking ever.

>dwarf wank!
>dwarf wank!
>dwaaarf waaank!
>no one is helping me wank, they must be a shitty /v/ meme!
For the sake of everyone's dignity I'll assume your were just trolling.

Sorry for interrupting your safe space, but this is what usually happens when you instead of making a thread that is just about how much you like dwarves, you make one that is about how much you hate another fictional race. I found it funny how much being a dwarfaboo is defined by hating a thing, not by being content in liking something.

He actually made a second one. I'm going over there now.

He's having a sperg-out. Let's do something against this.

Oh no! did ribbon survive that trap?

Ribbon is surprisingly durable for an elf.

>Darkness like this really makes me want to breed with the other races.

Humanity, truly a race designed to be raped.

Please don't bump this bait thread.

>Ah yes, spectacular craftsmanship on this bridge between two human cities. Dwarven work.
>A fine blade that we pulled from that elf-kings tomb, spectacular for gutting orcs. Dwarven work.
>What a wonderfully constructed hobbit hole. Such good construction can only be Dwarven work.

I'm beginning to think that maybe dwarves don't actually make anything.

What makes it bait?

The fact that it isn't filled to the brim with gushing unadulterated praise for Elves.

>Elfaboos genuinely think this way.