Ok user are you sure you want to do x?

>I just roll a die behind my screen without announcing anything
>What was that, user?!
>Oooh nothing

I do that all the time. Shit's hilarious.

>"which of the dice hit the table first?"

>places hand over red pencil and note pad and trap list.

>"yeah but how did you say 'I don't want to fight' to him?"

>What's your marching order?

>"wait, did you put your shoes on; shoe, sock, shoe sock or sock sock shoe shoe?"

>I do X damage to it
>noted

>your hats a size 12 right?

>"Who here has the highest disparity between INT and WIS?"

>That family in your backstory, are they still alive?

>"How tight was your pants done up user?"

hold the fuck up. Who the hell does "sock shoe sock shoe?" Who in their right mind would ever end up barefoot on one side and fully shoed on the other?

Chaotic Neutral

Longhair dogs, hardwood floors, and dress socks mean that I do sock, shoe, sock, shoe.

"How many arrows do you have left?"

>So do you open the door with your left hand or right hand?

If something happens in the middle of putting on my shoes and I am forced to abandon the process halfway though, I would rather have one foot fully protected and one bare than to have a useless cloth covering on both feet.

Note: I live the most boring, milquetoast existence possible, so I have never needed to abandon putting on my shoes to, say, run from a wild bear, but I feel it never hurts to prepare.

Depending on the nature of the interruption, not having your gait fucked up by the height difference between a shod and unshod foot might be important

>roll for anal circumference

...

I go sock shoe sock shoe, it makes it quicker.

>Are you sure you want to make statements about immigrants in an interview with a media outlet run by known white supremacists?

RIP JonTron's career

>you rolled a critical...
>oh thank god
>...failure.

You know Jontron's channel has grown significantly since then, right?

>user make an awareness test
>ok.. uh... 4 degress of failure

Hey, an israeli immigrant is in a position to talk about it.

>media outlet run by known white supremacists?

>are you sure you want to do that?
>"yes"
>are you really sure?
>"yeah."
>but you don't really want to do that right?
>"Yea- wait no fuck"
>okay you don't.

alternatively

>are you sure you want to do that?
>"no"
>cmon, really?
>"nope."
>but you don't really want to do it?
>"... yes. I don't want to do it."
>but thou must

>be racist
>hear this youtuber is getting shit for being racist
>sub to him because I like supporting racists
>he puts out a new video
>it's about video games
>I only care about shitposting
>don't watch it
>repeat for all new videos
>year 2019
>find this fucking persian fatty in my sub list
>no idea why he's here
>unsub

"Which hand are you using to pick up the item?"

"What's your will save modifier?"

"What's in your character's backpack right now?"

"Where is your character keeping his money?"

>"I aint usin my hand to pick it up. I'm using my teeth."

>"My will is unbreakable at a +4 bonus."

>"An iron ration (Tinned meat and fried potato mash) and a fifty foot coil of rope. Everything else doesn't even matter."

>">>>>>>>>>>>>>money"
>">implying I have any and didnt spend it all on wenches and Ale FUCK MEADFAGS GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT HONEY SWEET SHIT."

>"Make a perception check"
>*rolls dice*
>"Hmm, I see..."
>*Checks gm notes*
>"You don't see anything out of the ordinary"

>out of nowhere while players are talking amongst each other
>*dice roll* "huh, that's interesting"

>Are you sure you want to shoot the gibbering monster running towards you?

>Are you sure you want to shoot the shape before ID'ing it

>ARE YOU SURE you want to shoot the guardsman who's a bit bloody? He could be wounded or something.

Called it every time, fired with no hesitation

>been hallucinating for several rounds, fighting anyways because I'm passing willchecks to ignore the visions.
>go to reach for door, covered in maggots, rust and other bad things
>Hesitate
>"I touch the door with my sleeve first"
>DM sighs, sleeve immediately rots away.
>"Dammit I thought I had you that time."

Nice try, almost got me

what teh fuck is this image? context?

>"Everybody roll a will save"

>JonTron gets into politics.
>Becomes an Alt-Right fuckboy, which is unusual since most politicized celebrities become SJW cucks.
>Stopped watching him because he is beginning to transform into a political shitball.

Anyways:
>be GM
>roll dice behind screen
>players ask what happened
>"nothing you know about"
>nothing actually happened, just trying to put the players on edge

>Be GM
>roll behind screen
>Players get paranoid
>Keep doing it to keep them on edge
>One of them starts freaking out
>Another starts freaking out
>One by one the table becomes a fear fest
Then it happens.
>Cleric gets up, packs her stuff and says "I'm outta here!"
>Wizard withdraws from the table!
>Fighter and Rogue withdraw from the table!
>Barbarian withdraws too!
>UH OH! TOO MANY NATIONS HAVE WITHDRAWN FROM THE PROJECT
>AYYLMAOS MIND CONTROLLED THE PRESIDENT
>THATS XCOM BABY!

don't post that racist asshole's face on this board again, go back to /pol/

--=={Trigger Warning!}==--
i disagree with you :^)

That reaction image has been around for longer than you've been on this website faggot. Keep your stupid /pol/ derailing shit out of this board. If you want to discuss Jontron go to /v/ or /pol/

you are out of touch
the subhumans who got upset about jontron are a tiny, vocal minority of his viewers, and most of them were actually outsiders

And then you pull your pants over your shoes? Because of the dogs? That's barbaric

0/10, actually try next time, marxist.

>but we're not playing FATAL
>yeah trust me, you might still want to make that roll

The media stopped having any power when Trump got into office. I foresee one of the big telecoms actually going bust (due to treason) before the end of his 8 years.

>fuck he's talking about shit that is true which hurts my feelings
>better plug my ears like a toddler

You know, I've always thought about building a super honor bound character with a living family as bait for the GM.

If they killed the family, I'd have my character commit suicide, just to fuck with them.

...

>gm goes to check notes
If they gave you a warning, and it was actually bad, they arbitrate it on their own instead of checking notes.

>when the retard sneaks a good idea in

>most of them were actually outsiders

REEEEE not outsiders!!!!

> the squishy caster gets too curious and moves ahead of the party

>roll a constitution test

Here user, in higher quality

>I say we wait until everyone is seeping, take all their gear and leave them to die.
>upon hearing this the caravan leader draws a blade from his belt.
>what?
>you never said you were speaking out of character.

I rolled an 18 to hit
>Ok that lands, roll damage
Uh... that'll be... 10, 11, 12. 12 damage
>12 damage ok,
>*starts writing something down*
>and how much of that is magical?
Oh, uh none
>None? Is your weapon magical?
No...
>*scribbles something out*

It's a good practice to have to randomly roll dice behind the screen from time to time even if nothing is up (and have the character's relevant stats written up there as well). If you only roll them when something is actually hiding from the party then the players know that there is something to be found.

>Are you sure your gun is loaded?

>>you never said you were speaking out of character.
And that would be the point where I would stop playing with that GM.

Wait, shoe sock shoe sock? What the fuck?

At one point all this man was famous for was infestors gameplay. How the times have changed.

>Stopped watching him because he is beginning to transform into a political shitball.

Paramilitary milkman

When they're going door to door pepper-spraying people, they need someone to dump milk on faces to neutralize the burn.

They shopped on the face of the guy who wrote Starting Strength because memes

lol! That's a bit silly! At some point in her life a women has to accept cruelty and learn to rise above it!

>you MUST listen to this guy's political opinions otherwise you're pussy

>party examines small cave for evil dude
>other party member goes scouting nearby area outside
>evil dude greets the stray player as they relax
>end the session

When has he injected his political opinions into his show though? He makes the occasional jab at current events but it's never been political.

There's a huge difference between a college deciding to not invite a speaker because his opinions might be considered offensive and an individual choosing to not go there because the ideas might be offensive to him. The latter is part of the right to free speech -- you have the right to speak your mind, you don't have the right to force others to listen -- the former is a violation of the right to free speech as some form of executive board claims to have the right which opinions are the correct ones.

Never.
Look up Destiny vs JonTron.

>"So what's everyone's movement speed?"

Was that uploaded to his channel?

The answer is no.
Jon himself obviously has a political opinion like everyone else over the age of 12, but it hardly shows up in his videos.
That's why this is such big news to people, they couldn't tell his opinions from watching his videos and now it turns out they're very different from what they expected.

>Good GMs do shit like that for no reason sometimes, it throws PCs off.

>The roar in the distance rapidly approaches

This desu!!!

I don't even have shoes in the same room as socks, they're out by the door and my socks are in the bedroom.

>"And _______ hits his attack on you"
>"Anyone have extra d6?"
> two people hand over their d6s
>"I'll need more"

>There's a huge difference between a college deciding to not invite a speaker because his opinions might be considered offensive and an individual choosing to not go there because the ideas might be offensive to him. The latter is part of the right to free speech -- you have the right to speak your mind, you don't have the right to force others to listen -- the former is a violation of the right to free speech as some form of executive board claims to have the right which opinions are the correct ones.

Just because I am a huge faggot, I feel the need to clarify:

100% Private areas (including private colleges) can ban whomever.

But if the college accepts any government money (and most of them do) then any Public Forum or Limited Public Forum they have must be viewpoint-neutral.

An auditorium that occasionally gets rented out to public speakers is a good example of a Limited Public Forum.

>first round of combat
>"the creature bites you for X damage"
>with X being half or higher of the player's hp
>everyone goes into Defcon 1

Dude, don't make me feel abnormal

well i learned something in this thread today.

like that time i found out on Veeky Forums that like half the population stand up to wipe their asses.

Correct, and it's also probably important to point out that even a public space, such as a college, can deny people who want to speak or participate in a debate without it being a violation of the right to free speech, as long as what that person wants to say lacks relevance or is so far outside the consensus among specialists in the field that letting him speak would in itself be a violation of the viewpoint-neutrality.

For example, if there was gonna be a debate on immigration it makes sense to invite someone who's for a stricter policy and more extensive border patrools and someone who's for more open borders, you might even get away with inviting a libertarian who's for getting rid of all border controls entirely. It does not make sense, however, to invite someone who wants to put all immigrants in concentration camps and gas them.

>Alt-Right fuckboy

You mad fag?

That's not his show though.

Bullshit!

I've found that an ambiguous "Everything's Fine" done in a singsongy voice will get players trying to rush through something to be more thorough. And by ambiguous, I mean that it neither indicates something bad is happening, nor does it mean that they've missed something. It's a general "As far as you know, everything's kosher",

You have no idea how often players will just assume that things are as easy to find in a dungeon as Genie's lamp in Aladdin.

He's half Persian/half Hungarian and refuses to acknowledge his heritage because he's "Only American".

His folks were most likely upper class when they immigrated to the states (hence why he says Persian and not Iranian), so he was probably raised to think anyone still there in the Middle East are subhuman anyway.

dirty dumb drakken scum

broken lords master race scalies get out

>a GM checking their notes is bad
I really hate it when people think that GM's are suppose to have everything down mentally.

But this is fake news, right?
Or is it only stuff that triggers the right that's fake news?

Can someone remind me what the proper name for this kind of fallacy is?
For now I'm going to call it the 'no u' fallacy.

It's called American Politics. Whichever party not in power will act like they're the underdog being oppressed, while the party in power will act as though their being in power is proof that the populous will only listen to their policies as being the right ones.