What the most rock-bottom, piss poor decisions you have ever witnessed at the table?

I've got Nightmare Mode covered. One player decided his character would, at the literal END of the campaign (like, I, the DM, was about to go to epilogue and asked for final actions), murder another character over a relatively minor in-character slight. It caused a large argument, ended the two players friendship, and forced the game to end without a conclusion as one player refused to continue with the combat.

It was a year and a half long campaign and ended in PC-on-PC violence that killed a multi-year friendship. Worst ending to a campaign I've ever seen that didn't involve the police.

Casting Comprehend Languages on a gibbering mouther

>party acquires a deck of many things

>What the most rock-bottom, piss poor decisions you have ever witnessed at the table?
We had a mage, he conned us into committing mass murder via bombs disguised as Beer Kegs.
One of the other characters knew what was happening, didn't warn us because "I'm LE."

All of this, was ostensibly to save the world, by hijacking a ritual the BBEG was secretly prepping. What it instead did was kickstart it. So while the Mage had conned his way into a great big level up the rest of us were level 2 or something. The BBEG was level 15.

We died, BBEG survived and turned into the damn Tarrasque and thus the world was doomed.

>Worst ending to a campaign I've ever seen that didn't involve the police.
And the one that did?

>Worst ending to a campaign I've ever seen that didn't involve the police.
>didn't involve the police

Don't hold out on us user. What happened?

That's so incredibly retarded. I need to hear what the the in-character slight was now so that I can confirm it as one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

We were playing a relatively lighthearted game about kids investigating paranormal activities as part of a school club.

At one point the players discovered that one of their classmates was a witch and was going to summon a bunch of ghosts to possess the faculty and popular kids, so we needed to clear out the building in order to confront her in alone

Instead of like, pulling the fire alarm like a normal fucking kid one of our players decided to call in a bomb threat.

Oh, that's nothing exciting. I had a player arrested once during session for dealing coke. No one else knew about it, not even his druggie girlfriend (she was just a pot junkie). I can greentext it real fast, though it isn't exciting.

>Be playing D&D in a campus lecture hall
>knock on door during climactic boss fight
>it's the cops
>Am homeless at the time, so I thought they were there for me
>sweatingguy.png
>Turns out they wanted to arrest Church for dealing cocaine
>no idea he was a dealer, though unsurprised
>they question everyone, no one knew
>one cop asks what we're doing, explain it, he goes "sounds fun"
>they leave with Church
>stunned silences all around

We moved on. I think it was a party wipe after that since Church was playing a tank character of some kind. It's been like 9 years though, I might be misremembering.

Guy A was pissed that Guy B was keeping secrets and misused a powerful artifact to do something funny but non-dangerous. Note: Guy B was definitely doing something stupid but didn't deserve to die.

I mean, that'll do it.

Playing Horde of the Dragon Queen. So potential spoilers

The party arrives at the castle at night, there's fog everywhere, the Vampires come and attack. They manage to fend off the vampires by using the spear they found to create orbs of sunlight. One of the party decides to grapple one of the vampires and throw it into the mini sun orb to kill it. She succeeds.

So later on, after having searched the castle and fought a few ogres, they come across the ruined tower. The rogue offers to climb it, givent hat she has wicked high Dex. The Monk also wants a crack, the rest stay behind. I decide on two rolls to get up the tower given that its tall. Both pass the first roll, both fail the second. The rogue takes fall damage, the monk says "I have featherfall as an ability" or words to that effect. The entire party asks why the hell he let the rogue climb too then given that he can't fucking fail. So he tries again and I allow it, saying that he took the time to do it slowly given, again that he can't fail the task really. So I say he gets to the top just as the sun is setting. He see's 3 coffins arranged in the room beyond the balcony
"Okay"
The sun has very almost set
"Okay...erm"
The sun has set
"Okay...erm"
The coffin lids start to move
"Okay..erm"
A vampire leaps out
"OH SHIT"
Proceeds to try and take it mano a mano and dies instead of jumping off the edge and getting help from the rest of the party who are unable to get up there and help.

His character he rolled for the very next session also died because he tried to one on one a hill giant at 7th level. He got salty about that.

I'm down to learn more.

>party pays for stagecoach to next town
>approaching outskirts of town, the (neutral good!) ranger decides to shoot horse in the head with an arrow
>furious coah driver demands an explanation
>I immediately declare that I want no part of this and hide behind a ditch
>ranger wants to rob the driver before we reach town
>driver is a badass, kicks the party's ass while I sit there watching (guess the DM was getting sick of their shit, too)
>ranger player whines at me in real life about helping the party
>I point out that if he ever followed my advice, 90% of the "totally bullshit" things that happen to him wouldn't happen
>point out that he should know my character well enough by now
>point out that I offered multiple times to make my character evil or CE if that's what they wanted, but they said no every time
>session ends on sour note

then the incident that made me give up on the group
>in dungeon
>orc barb decides to shove me down a hole, "as a joke"
>giant centipede peeks out, grabs my wizard and pulls him into the darkness
>party gives chase into cramped little tunnel
>whole party dies to giant centipedes in this goddamn hole
>can't even believe what happened
>people are pissed or sad, I'm just laughing
>tell the orc player how bad he fucked up
>he blames me for getting pulled down the hole and "making us rescue you" (I demanded no such thing, everyone jumped into action immediately)
>also I set off a crushing wall trap (that ended up harming no one) earlier, and that's also why we died somehow

never played with that group again (except the DM, he's still cool)

I hope you went out like Major Kong from Dr. Strangelove

*make my character evil or CN

A party of three had successfully managed to sneak around back of this hideout full of baddies. There was a 15' wall that could be scaled, or a locked door that could be lock-picked or broken down. For whatever reason I'll never understand, the Elf Fighter decides, "We're not going in through this way, let's split the party and try to bluff our way through the kitchen entrance instead."

So the Elf Fighter and the Half-Elf Druid dressed up like bad guys and walked right in through the kitchen. (Meanwhile, the Kenku Ranger is waiting outside.) A mook takes one look at the Fighter and Druid and goes, "Where did you find those weapons?". The Elf replies, "Um, we killed some intruders and took their weapons." The Deception roll succeeds, so the mook replies,

"Then you might want to take them to the boss, right?"

Long story short: Nearly had a TPK. The Elf Fighter turned over his weapons and shield to the Bad Guy Boss. Then the Fighter and Druid's cover got blown and the entire base of bad guys swarmed them. The other two in the party barely managed to escape. The Elf Fighter was captured and the character is essentially decommissioned because he's being tortured off-screen.

I still have no idea why the Elf Fighter thought that was a good plan, and why no one else even tried to speak up against it... Oh well, sometimes ya gotta learn the hard way.

>pot junkie

Sorcerer player who has a 6 Charisma IRL sassed the great wyrm red dragon.

If there's one thing I cannot fucking stand it's "lol wouldn't this be funny" players.

Yes the game is a laugh, yes it can be funny. We laugh constantly at every one of my sessions, but that fuck none of my players joke in a way that's just fucking stupid roleplaying or is detrimental to the party or story.

>Pot junkie

>party about to be facing aboleth
>aware of their mind control abilities
>find their lair
>enter lair, encounter two humans, a dwarf, a half-orc who ambush them
>party defeats them, humans die in combat
>sorcerer pulls out his morningstar to coup-de-grace the dwarf for no reason
>finds a letter on her corpse that says "we are being mind controlled, if you can read this please don't kill my friends"
I don't know what he was expecting.

There's this one player who, due to time zones, goes from 10pm to 3am regularly for sessions. And he gets a bit cranky once he's tired and it shows. He always apologizes afterwards but it's been a bit annoying.

How'd he write the letter? Was it his last action, or what?

Aboleth mind control needs to be reapplied every so often, so they have moments where they aren't affected (but kept in cells). She tore a page from the wizard's spellbook and hid it on her person.

>Party suspects local baroness is allied with the drow causing trouble for the city and nearby settlements
>Shortly after they start investigating her, she falls ill and dies
>This throws us off the trail for a little while, but eventually some research and rumormongering reveals that women in the Baroness' family tend to often fall sick and die about a decade after they produce a heiress
>Eventually discover that the Baroness, a powerful warlock with a patron aligned with the drow, has been bodysnatching her daughter when she comes of age for generations in a gambit to stay immortal,sealing the young girls' souls in satuettes
>Party hatches a plan to confront the "young" new Baroness her when she doesn't expect it and isn't likely to tip her hand and use her powers
>Step one is to saunter into a fancy dress party and, without warning, stab a twelve year old girl through the chest in plain view of the assembled nobility of the city
>Step two is to calmly and rationally explain to the dozens of people they just committed murder in front of that the child they executed was actually an evil warlock and they should believe this story because the completely trustworthy drow said it was true
>Thats it
>That was the entire plan
>"What do you mean they're arresting us?"

I think I make 4. Post away

>pot junkie

post it, faggot

>pot junkie

>Party has taken over old archmage's tower
>Only half understand a lot of the stuff that is in there.
>Do, however, understand how to use the teleporter. You can select one of a number of different trajectories with various gems, and then you have to burn a power source in a special receptacle.
>You need the right level of power to transport you to the right locations. Putting in too little power won't get you there. Putting in too much power is *dangerous*, and can lead to all sorts of mishaps, up to instant disintegration of everything in a mile or so radius.
>PCs know about this, in fact keep a reference book near the teleporter to help them calculate how much power to use.
>As a side effect of their adventuring, make many enemies
>One of the bad guy factions raises a small army of about 150 to seize their tower.
>Even with the defenses, the 6 of them can't fend off that many dudes.
>Decide to retreat and raise their own force to take it back, and hey, handy teleporter!
>But they can't take everything with them, so they're smashing or locking behind tower defenses what they can't carry.
>Decide they want to drain a large magic crystal in the teleporter since it's hard to carry and they don't want the bad guys getting their mitts on it.
>Warn them that the chance of a serious mishap are extremely high.
>They do it anyway
>Mishap happens.
>TPK.
>Upset players
>Game ends.

Then what happened

Are you doing roll playing in real time or what? Just give your players time to react

>I'll just set X on fire!
see every campaign ever

Okay.

>Playing a game at invitation of my uncle thinking he was running it.
>Turns out a friend of his I'd never met is running the campaign
>7 other people in the group
>Decide to roll generic half-ling rogue because the party has none
>Most of the other group members are teenage murder-hobos my uncle's daughter knew.
>They are on a quest to infiltrate some cult of an evil dragon god to find their base of operations.
>Only real intro I get to the group is I'm an ex-pat who has a beef with the taskmasters running this magic item smuggling cartel for this cult the party is following
>Get the party in as "workers/extra muscle" in this caravan traveling to the cults main hideout.
> Begin our travels and as we pass through a long wyrmbog we have a lot of downtime at nights.
> Being the generic rogue I decide to take a look and see what goods these guys are smuggling.
> My stealth stats are off the charts so I get into a caravan with ease and open up a canvas wrap to find a bunch of magic staves.
>sweet
>Guard is suspicious after finally rolling low and I duck out of there leaving the package as I left it.
>No mention next morning.

>Day 2 Nighttime
>Return to the scene of the crime.
>Open package and steal two rods.
>These guys are serving CE cultists. Fuck Em.
>Fuck up my rolls to put the package back perfect before having to dip
>Caravan leader announces theft will be investigated and punished.
>Take this as DM warning to lay off so I decide to mind my own business.
>Then. It happens.
>Our fucking caster.
>Some guy my uncle found at his local game store. Older guy. Kinda weird but that's okay.
>Named his young female bimbo sorceress elf "candy" or some shit.
>just...what?
> This guy was feeling left out so Day 3 at Night immediately after the DM lets us know the Taskmasters are suspicious decides to send his familiar in to steal some shit,
>Immediately fucks up his roll and knocks a bunch of metal shit in a wagon over.
>Sirens go off. High alert. Taskmaster is calling for everyone with their bags out front and center
>nope. fuck that.
>Dip out into the swampy wilderness to sleep in trees instead.
>Trail caravan a few hundred feet in the brush.
>Conflict arises eventually. Caravan is attacked by Lizardmen.
>DM being the cheeky bugger he was didn't want to leave me up so two frogs the size of houses attack me
>One failed roll and I'll be swallowed. So I make a plan.

>Begin to sprint back towards caravan screaming and flailing my arms.
>Party is fighting with lizard men when they see it.
>The halfling from earlier running towards them.
>Two giant frogs in tow.
>Clearly he needs help but wait? What's he doing?
>He doesn't stop.
>He runs towards the center covered wagon dagger in hand
>Jumps and cuts through the canvas cover
>Grabs the bundle containing magical staves and rods and tumbles out the other side.
>without. missing. a step.
> At this point it's just a matter of jumping into the near by bog and swimming away into the mist.
>The party and caravan just finish off the lizardmen in time to start chasing me apparently because 1 bundle of rods is more important that two house sized frogs
>My uncle who was the originally mentioned Paladin thinks he's got a plan as well
>Runs up on his horse and grabs me by the scruff
>Says "I'll pretend to kill you. Toss you in the water and return the package"
>I say "That's stupid just let me get away."
>Struggle against him
>He rolls strength to hold on to me
>2
>I roll like a 16
>I break away such that it looks like he just let me go it was so sad.
>He drops me and I disappear into the bog
>Dragonkin Paladin says "fuck this" and hits a pursueing caravan wheel with his hammer so hard it disintergrates.
>Party kills rest if Caravan leadership
>DM decides that was the only caravan we could follow to the cult hideout
>Cleric loses prophetic vision of saving the world
>All is lost.
>Bad end.

It doesn't really come across in the post, but I did give him time to react.

I wanted to press upon him that he couldn't spend time faffing. Some decisions have to be made quickly. But to be fair, I was hinting so fucking hard that the vampires were going to come that it was his own damn fault.

This too place over the course of about 2 or 3 minutes with me giving 30 or 40 second pauses between each statement, which might not sound like much, but try waiting for 30 seconds just to see how much time it gives you. It'll surprise you.

>try to roleplay
>literally the game ends because of it because the GM is a complete asshat
well then.
nice.

It was railroading at it's finest my friend.

> I'm standing in front of a crystal larger than me holding a petrol bomb
> Everyone else is fighting ice golems
> Me: "Are you guys sure you want me to throw this at the crystal?
> Everyone Else: "YES!"
> Me: "But there's scary ghosts inside the crystal. Are you guys REALLY sure?"
> EE: "YES!"
> Me: "If I break the crystal they might go free."
> EE: "BREAK IT"
> Me: "Okay"
> Action: throw my petrol bomb
> Move Action: run away

Turns out the bomb did break the crystal and the ghosts inside did break free and the ghosts ate my party and chased me out of the dungeon. I think everyone else thought the crystal was controlling the golems and only I could see the ghosts inside the crystal. So yeah, the piss poor decision was my piss poor decision.

Nah, it's their fault for not listening. They have nobody to blame but themselves.

If somebody tells you to do something stupid and you should know it's stupid, but do it anyway it's at least50% your fault too.

In a completely stress free non rushed situation one player walked through what is best described as the death gate from Harry Potter 5 that killed Sirius. He was told multiple times by the DM that he would die and his charachter would be permenantly dead. There was nothing on the other side. There was no elaborate challenge. No one even told him to do it. It was just there as a set piece (we don't even remember why it is just this event that made it memorable). Still he walked through, no rolls he just died.

> Rogue sneaking in the swamp
> Rogue spies a lizardwoman
> Rogue wants to rape lizardwoman
> Player thinks this is the height of comedy
> I ask the player what's his problem and we get into an argument
> Rogue player goes on a tangent about Gamergate and how its okay to rape women sometimes
> CompleteDisgust.jpg
> Good End: I told his girlfriend what the player said and she got so upset she left him (for a month, he eventually begged hard enough to get her back)
> Best End: We kicked him out shortly after

Sirius was killed by Bellatrix mate, he just flew through the portal because that was the portal to the afterlife. He was already dead.

>Alright Dave. You can DM.

That was literally all it took.

Ok so we were playing dark heresy and were on a desert forge world dealing with tech bandits or some shit. It was super mad max. We were in like a truck and were chasing down a bunch of these desert tech cultists or whatever and they had a big fuel truck and some technicals and bikes etc.

So it's me who's a Psyker, an arbites, a skitari, a preacher, and a scum. The scum is driving. I'm leaning out the back using minor telekinesis to fuck with our pursuer's steering wheels, crashing bikes together, starting open flames by their engines etc everything is fine. Eventually our skitari and arbite take out the wheels on the big rig and it slows down as it pops a flat.

All of us but the skitari and the scum dismount and board the rig, with the preacher and I lead in the way, him with a war hammer and me following up with a shotgun and telekinesis. The arbiter doesn't board but does lay down some suppression.

The scum backs up the jeep over a fine. We wonder where he went. I jump overboard, we have cleared out the rig and taken captives. Time for the preacher and the cop to start interrogations. We hear honking and look up. The scum fucking runs me over and slams into the rig, he bails out about a hundred metres back and presses his thumb on a detonator, blowing up the jeep which he has just driven into a fuel rig. It blows up. I die twice. Preacher is dead. Hostages are dead. Arbiter is injured critically. Skitari, I don't know.

"Hurrr I thought you guys needed a hand clearing out those cultists."

We had literally finished the job. The plot then hit a dead end and we never ran another session.

rape is a pretty beta fetish.

Consensual sex with Lizardwoman would be appropriate but never in a multiplayer tabletop setting.

Magical realm please go.

I have never played at a table where sexuality has been brought up before.

But then I don't tend to play with people who are that autistic. I have done with some on the spectrum, sure, but they at least know how to conduct themselves within social situations to some degree

The girl in our group's female character regularly gets referred to fairly dergoatorily and she also seems to get kidnapped quite frequently.

Nothing ever really comes of it but it's still worthy of note.

>Pulls the fire alarm
>No fire, back inside everyone

>Bomb Threat
>SWAT comes a knocking and shoots the fuck out of Witchy

He saved you all you fucking idiot

Yeah I've played in groups like that, where all the blokes are clearly hungry for the one girl sat around the table, and the plot seems to take it that way.

I'm no ardent feminist, but I have been around tables that would make even your most tame feminist say "See! This is what I'm talking about!"

This is what you get for playing a game that attracts those on the fringes of social interaction I guess...

In a Warhammer Fantasy game, our halfling picked up a Daemon Sword in front of a Warrior Priest.

I'm vaguely nervous going into a new group as a female player.

Two of the players are shitters from what I heard, cracking jokes like that in the first session.

Hopefully it should be fine.

I once threw an alien weapon into a woodchipper. It had been months irl since we received treasure and I was no longer thinking like a murderhobo.

You're predisposed to direct sperg radiation because you have a vagina. Sorry.
Just have the guts to put your foot down or outright leave if things become unacceptable.

If they are shits, don't play with them.

I've played games with turbo spergs, and I've played games with people who are legitimately fucking cooler than cool. cooler than two fonzies strapped together with snakes. Most lie in between.

Never put up with shitty players around a table because they're all you've got. There will be no doubt countless groups looking for new players, many of which without knobs in them.

Is that Bob Kane's real headstone? That's amazing if so.

It genuinely is.

Best joke of all? He did very little to help create Batman and basically screwed over Bill Finger, Jerry Robinson etc to get his and only his name on the franchise.

Bob Kane was a cunt.

I completely get where you're coming from user but it's not quite like that.

>girl
English posh girl. Married to one of our players. We have been playing together for years. She has a nice side (she's lovely) but...
We are quite aware that she and other player have a very...non traditional relationship in some respects.
>her character
A turbo bitch witch elf with a penchant for tearing out jugulars with her teeth.

Every so often an NPC will "gosh she's got breeding hips!" And be referring to a horse behind her
Or "look at them melons!" Referring to two large fruits on a stall.

The party have learnt to grab her at these points but it's still very funny.

Also our BBEGs have a kinda habit of trying to kidnap her to use err... Um...breeding an army of supersoldiers.

She's weirdly ok with being rescued like a princess every so often.

See
She's a group favourite and loves it. YMMV.

I personally would find that cringy as hell, but so long as you guys are all happy I'm not one to judge

The cringe factor is real

From the outside it rather is I guess but it didn't really start out that way just lots of little in jokes and things.

For example the melons thing started not long after [plot reasons] aliens took over her mind and abducted her for a bit in a sort of Species 2 way. She's also just one of those people that are fun to get a rise out of.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is you'll be fine.

I feel like there's a different dynamic to it when it's the DM's doing versus another player's, but maybe I'm just strange in that regard.

Either way, the DM seems pretty chill, and from the sound of it, he's dissatisfied with the pair already. Could just end with them getting booted.

Keep in mind
>We are quite aware that she and other player have a very...non traditional relationship in some respects.

At least one other player in user's group appears to be fucking her so that probably explains the dynamic at least a bit

My missus has been part of my D&D group since before we were even an item and no time that I can think of with the numerous players that we've had have we ever treated her as any more or any less than another player around the table, much less the butt of jokes because she happens to own a vagina.

Maybe they work for you, and that's fine but one shouldn't assume that a girl would "love the attention" because they're the female of the group.

We're all old friends and have been playing together for about ten years.

I guess it just kinda works. We also kinda like them being a couple. I'm sorry it really isn't as weird as I'm making it out here.

Not to make an ill assumption of someone I don't know, but it sounds like its working for that group because the girl in question really does like the attention and the players like giving it to her

She's just heavily into bondage and our Dorf player just happens to really enjoy tying her up a lot. It gets kind of hard to tell where her horse tackle ends and their toys begin sometimes.

Dorf being her husband.

It's never really been an issue. She's a respected role player but also completely mental so it works for us. Believe me if she wasn't happy about it she would let us know.

re-read
It seems as though they're using "lol she's a woman user" as justification for why women "love the attention"

I'm not really sure I follow your point user.
I'm et al btw.

I'd hate for one of my players real personalities and sexual preferences to come out in a ROLE PLAYING game.

Imagine sitting around a table and everything comes back to how great it is X is trans or Y is gay or Z loves fucking anything that moves. All fun I'm sure, but you'll understand if it's not for me or most players of the game to autisticly sperg over the fact they have a woman round the table who is ok with blokes being lecherous fucks.

If it works for you, that's cool. Don't treat it as a norm.

I feel like "She's female, and she likes it, so maybe you'll like it too" is kind of a crappy argument when I just mentioned distaste for that kind of behavior.

>im always vaguely nervous when entering a new group
>Also our BBEGs have a kinda habit of trying to kidnap her to use err... Um...breeding an army of supersoldiers.
>abducting by aliens for some kind of alien 2 way.

This is why women are fucking scared to step up to the table. Because someone always has to turn it into a magical realm instead of just playing a normal game. Really surprised people cant just hide the inner sperg for a few hours once a week sit down down and play a game.

I sold a special unidentified red ruby that my gm described as "a red ruby". I got suspicious when the gem store owner offered 100k, but sold it anyway only for the GM to say it was a fire dragon egg and I stole that shit right back.

Fucking this.

It's just an in-joke which crops up about one in maybe six sessions. I really should have put more thought into laying this out with more care for you all.

Hell from what I recall a bucket of our adventures got storytimed on here.

I think the problem is that bomb threats are a lot more likely to be traced back to the caller than a prank alarm pull, and police don't take that kind of shit lightly so they'll actually do it.

Because some people actually genuinely find it hard to attract a member of the female sex and therefore treat every new female as a potential girlfriend as opposed to a person first. I've seen it countless times.

They can't just be friends with the girl, they have to try it on first

Here we are 1d4chan.org/wiki/Britbongsteros

Seeing as I appear to have inadvertently kicked over a nest of weird bees.

>a bunch of our adventures got story timed here
Please don't user. Your magical realm is full of fail and autism

I wrapped an orb that was housing Demogorgon in a sack, and then whacked it against a wall trying to kill it.

Good news!: I stopped Tiamat from resurrecting and kicking off the apocalypse because the resulting explosion killed nearly the entire cult.

Bad news: started a whole NEW apocalypse!

Not my best moment.

So you're a britbong. Where from/where do you play perchance? I've got a sneaking suspicion I know you.

It better not be Tewkesbury.

It's a great distance from there. The group met at a university in Scotland.

Good.

This isn't pick up play. It's an established group and all groups grow in jokes. It's very different to the unwashed in an LGS.

Just so long as you admit that while you might not be, people like you are a cancer upon the game for female players who aren't into that.

I once had a player willingly stick his arm in the mouth of a hostile werewolf in an attempt to get werewolf powers.

I

If we were playing at an LGS with people we didn't know then things would be different.

In a different context and with a player we didn't know comments or similar would he totally unacceptable. This is a long established friend. We all rib on each other.

So no. I won't take the fedora and Cheeto stains you seem to be forcing upon us and perhaps it's best we agree to disagree.