MTG Lore: Walk Like an Egyptian Edition

And they can't help themselves get flustered seeing black characters portrayed in any light except being vile and degenerate.

"Please wotc, stop pushing and pandering to black people it's ruining my fun"

You're pathetic and should kill yourself quickly and quietly.

>>Gatewatch running straight to Amhonket with NO PLAN
It's interesting to see their reasons for why.

>Chandra: We beat three Eldrazi and we beat Tezzeret. Let's hit him hard, now.
>Liliana: I don't relish the thought, but with Bolas scheming and Tezzeret on the loose, I—we—aren't safe anywhere.
>Jace: Bolas is smarter than us. Whatever time we spend preparing, he'll spend it better.
>Nissa: I dunno lol

Chandra's reasoning is stupid. Liliana's acting purely out of fear. Nissa doesn't know. Jace is probably the most reasonable argument of them all, because he's 100% right. Bolas is smarter than them, stronger than them, and has more experience than them. The more they wait, the worse it'll be. I think Ajani is right that they should get allies and plan, but Jace does have a reasonable point.

Assuming Bolas doesn't just smack Tezzeret's shit for annoying him in his summer vacation plane and ignore the warnings.

What did Chandra do? I skipped that part. I find it unconfortable to read the way she is written.

I honestly expect Bolas to know nothing about the Gatewatch, purely because it is ENTIRELY in Tezzerets character to simply not tell Bolas.

Seriously. He just planeswalked away. We don't even know where he went. I expect when they finally confront Bolas he'll be like "What the fuck, who the hell are you? Go away kids, I'm on vacation"

She used her flames to melt sand and molded it into a glass dome so they could have shelter from the sandstorm.

Not entirely sure that's how glass-making works, but hey, it's magic.

He knows Liliana, Jace and he must know about Chandra, doesn't he?

He knows who they are, but I'm not convinced that he knows about them all being together.

I mean, he probably does, being the ultra super genius bad guy mastermind and all, but unless Tezz told him that these 5 were coming for him, he shouldn't know

He explicitly knows Liliana and Jace because he's met them, sometimes multiple times. They fear him with good reason, Jace shits himself in terror at/during/after their confrontation in Agents of Artifice.

He knows about Ajani, he knows about Chandra, because he arranged for her to be one of the ones freeing the Eldrazi.

Whether he knows about Nissa or Gideon, unclear. I wouldn't be surprised if he was keeping track of Nissa because of the Zendikar/Eldrazi thing, but Gideon might well be the fly in the ointment.

>it turns out those are truly Bolas' horns
>he was taking a sandbath
>a sandbath long enough to let a city sprung on his back

Can't believe you guys didn't get pissed off at Nissa saying
"We're stringer together"

This is definitely some super secret propaganda to make us all liberal cucks so that the white race is weeded out one day.

Stay strong my brothers.

>stringer
Please die out and clear up the gene pool.

>>Jace being a literal punching bag and overall useless
Jace has never been useful.
There's this huge divide between people who play the game and see Jace making badass quips and being featured on overpowered cards but Jace has always been a scrawny nerd who's powers never actually work because they invalidate all threats when they do.
The man's a puzzle solver on his best days.

I'm rooting for Bolas. These gatewatch kids are getting too smug for my liking.

>get to Kaladesh
>land in a sandstorm
>it immediately triggers Gideon's defenses

This amuses me, I'm not sure why. Probably because it sounds like a DM saying "guys, you really should not be here this early in the campaign".

Jace's PoV acceptable.

Nissa's is average.

Liliana's triggers me with Beefslab comments.

Chandra is still acting like a hormonal teenager.

Gideon's is suraling.

>Gideon's is suraling.
Gideon suraling a wurm from inside was pretty awesome.

Same for Liliana "coming back to life".
I always love when they depict the Chain Veil in action.

True, but if someone like Chandra can evolve beyond "fire girl who throws fire" then Jace can evolve into someone who can actually do something in a fight.

For example, just here in the fight with the zombies and wurms, he could have turned Gideon invisible, perhaps even unsummoned the zombies, done more to distract the remaining worms after proving that the scorpion trick worked

dude needs to do more than just get jumped and pummeled into the ground

Gideon's reaction to the God makes me hope that he'll realize that Bolas had been nothing but good to the people on his plane.

He used to be telekinetic as well as telepathic, but they seem to have dropped that aspect of his abilities.

it kinda is. I mean, it's pretty half-assed just nuking a sand dune, but desperate times...

>he could have turned Gideon invisible
That actually doesn't work on zombies. He learned that the hard way on Innistrad

>unsummoned the zombies
Unsummoning is pretty much only used storywise when they're actual mana constructs, not physical things.
Like Nissa used to be able to make mana constructs of Joraga elves, literally "summoning" them. Those could be unsummoned. The actual walking corpses of people? Not so much.

>Amonkhet the city is surrounded by endless zombie deserts
That's fucking metal

>Gideon ripping sandwurms apart from the inside and out

Holy fuck what is this dude made of, first the entire Aether Spire falls on him and now he can casually shrug off being crushed and digested.

>What do you guys think of the story?

I think WE'VE GOT (UNDEAD) WURMSIGN THE LIKES OF WHICH EVEN BOLAS HAS NEVER SEEN!

The Great Makers know nothing of death!

Shai-Hulud will consume the Gatewatch!

Also, here's the art for Invocation Attrition.

Legendary Wurm when?

Not soon enough, my friend. But with Wurms likely being the dominant big Green critter in Amonkhet, I think the chances are higher than ever before of it happening!

hes has the best correlation between story and his cards.

Gideon can turn himself indestructible. Hence why he shrugged off being eaten/crushed.

Desert Wurms doesn't feel green to me though

When did Gideon become black?

I agree, but if that's the case, then I don't see Green realistically being in this set at all because virtually nothing about a desert is Green.

of all the recent skin color changes, this picture actually makes him look the most white, just in shade.

It's not that he's black, they just have no consistent art direction with regards to any of the planeswalkers. I don't know how they're so fucking bad at this.

I'm pretty sure that's the OGideon.

Amonkhet has the not!Nile and all that is associated with it
It's green as fuck

is it?

For some reason I always get stuck thinking of the bruce willis one.

Of all the art that could possibly considered the Bruce Willis one... How is it not that one?

In a sense. I see water and I think Blue, but you're not wrong.

because it isnt?

God damn Chandra's monologue pisses me off. I think they're trying to imitate ADD but as someone who has ADD its nothing like that. She just sounds like this annoying idiot who has no purpose being anywhere near actual conflict and decision-making.

They could pull a Tarkir and have the 'forests' be maintained gardens
And have islands be random desert Oasis

They probably will too, given the full-art basics...

So how Modern Wizards sees Red then? Especially when next to the "intellectual thinking man's colors" like white and blue.

People say she's one of the better members of the Gatewatch, but I really don't see it. I find her infuriating.

The story was pretty decent, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't skip her parts. Even people on Facebook are roasting her characterization.

>People
Who exactly? Reddit/Tumblr?

I've seen such sentiments on this very board as well, so yes.

>Even people on Facebook are roasting her characterization
>roasting
Eyyyyy

I'm pretty sure Chandra would roast her own interpretation in the articles

Like, if you're gonna have an emotional and conflicted and tumultuous character, cool. That's great. You want to create someone who's the avatar of red, alright.

But for the love of good writing, make her narration sound less like a 12 year old's stream of thought. I hate the word "cringe" but honestly there's really no other way to describe it.

I wouldn't even mind if they did it sparingly, either. Incoherent jibbering is cool and powerful when you want to express something big, like a moment where emotions are really high, or when someone's reality is crumbling. If it's a point in the story where that feeling of confusion and emotion and fear is something you want to get across, it's great!

But by god, every. SINGLE. TIME we cut to her perspective I'm pulled from a coherent fantasy world and into this cringe-worthy annoying mess.

And the worst thing is other people are loving it. I dunno, maybe living with a disorganized mind 24/7 has given me little patience for this shit. Of course tumblr eats that shit like french fries because that's how everything there is but I expected Reddit to at least call it cringey.

He pretty much built the Gatewatch. Freeying the eldrazi titans was orchestrated by him, and the fact that they're dead means it was all according to plan.
What Bolas doesn't know yet, is that Ugin is alive again.

I'm very much looking forward to Bolas' reaction when Ugin pops up again.

"Hey wait a second...didn't I kill you 1000 years ago?"

"Yes but then time shit happened and I got better."

"...all according to plan!"

No, it's bad. It's real fucking bad. I'll slog through a bad read usually, for the sake of the whole, to take in everything. Chandra sections though? Fuuuuck that. Cringe is the exact word. What writer can string such normal, and evocative sentences together, and then suddenly decide to just switch to all caps keyboard vomit. Holy run-on sentence Batman!

What is he doing under the sand? Does he not realise his horns stick out of the ground?

Yeah, I was willing to forgive a lot of Chandra's shit in Kaladesh, if only because the whole situation was supposed to put her off balance and make her emotionally unstable, but Christ. This is even worse.

Oh boy, I can't wait to see how the gatewatch ruin yet another plane

Bolas has no object permanence. If he can't see you, he thinks you can't see him.

Hipsters love poorly written garbage, I guess.

Now

Why is that not legendary?

Nicol Bolas, Worldspine of Amonkhet?

They're going to FREE THE SHIT OUT OF AMONKHET. No longer will Bolas' influence keep the Gods in line and the area around the rivers safe from the undead curse. Amonkhet will return to glorious rule by the populace when they're not being turned into playthings for the divine or dying only to return as a shambling, desiccated corpse.

WE WUZ KANGS AND SHIET

WE

If I were to guess:
>Losing to Ajani
Not according to plan
>Losing control of Sarkhan
Not according to plan
>Liliana getting the Veil instead of Kothophed
According to plan
>Garruk becoming Jason
Not according to plan
>Eldrazi being fred
According to plan
>Chandra beating Ramaz
Not according to plan
>Tezzeret getting fucked up by Jace
According to plan
>Jin Gitaxias learning about planeswalkers
According to plan
>Tezzered getting sneakier
According to plan
>Jace becoming the Guildpact
Not according to plan
>A group of walkers assembling to fight the eldrazi
According to plan
>Sarkhan traveling in time to save Ugin
Not according to plan
>Ob Nixilis being fred
Not according to plan
>The eldrazi being destroyed by the aforementioned group
According to plan
>Emrakul being mooned
Not according to plan
>Tezzeret losing Kaladesh
Not according to plan
>faggots in the front yard
Not according to plan

And with that in mind, I'd hazard a guess Bolas' Society of Evil will take from the shit he hadn't planned for and be composed of Sorin/Dovin, Tezzeret, Ob Nixilis, Ramaz and Garruk. It even ties into vengeance plots for every one of these walkers.

I forgot Ramaz even existed, well done sir.

>No longer will Bolas' influence keep the Gods in line and the area around the rivers safe from the undead curse.
And everyone dies.
Just like a PETA raid.

Sorin's far too proud to work for Nicdaddy just to get revenge on the rock bitch. Chances are he'll show up again in 3-5 years to attack her when WoTC remembers he exists again

>well done sir
Fuck you.

>Ob Nixilis being fred
"At last, after all these years! I can finally take my rightful place... behind the wheel of the Mystery machine! C'mon gang, let's split up and look for Clue tokens!"

> And with that in mind, I'd hazard a guess Bolas' Society of Evil will take from the shit he hadn't planned for and be composed of Sorin/Dovin, Tezzeret, Ob Nixilis, Ramaz and Garruk. It even ties into vengeance plots for every one of these walkers.

I still think that Bolas's gang and the inevitable Anti-Gatewatch will be two separate entities, if only because any team that includes Bolas places him high above everyone else, and I can't see Nixilis and Garruk letting that happen.

Well, if Bolas still has the possession of Night's Reach, there is nearly nothing both garruk and Ob can do against him

>Dovin Baan
>Evil
>Caring about anything but Kaladesh
He would probably recognize Bolas intelligence and scheming prowess but it stop there

>Sorin
>Joining Bolas

You forgot Nahiri. In her state, she will be easily manipulated by Bolas.

>Caring about anything but Kaladesh
Couldn't Bolas just hold Kaladesh hostage, in a way, given that he's a huge elder dragon and shitty whale-harpoons can't bring him down?

WUZ

>Couldn't Bolas just hold Kaladesh hostage
That's a good(evil?) idea

>Sorin's far too proud to work for Nicdaddy just to get revenge on the rock bitch
Sorin would go ballistic the second he learns Ugin knew how to destroy the eldrazi and that it had alwas been within his own power to anihilate all three titans together. Rock whore's temper tantrum is a mere consequence of the phantom lizard's betrayal.
>Sorin vs Ugin
>Tezzeret vs Jace
>Ob Nixilis vs Liliana (for the Veil)
>Ramaz vs Chandra
>Vraska vs Gideon
>Bolas vs Ajani
The only Gatewatch member who doesn't have a nemesis yet is Nissa.

Gideon no longer needs to fight for some ginger puss with a lesbian elf. He can just devote his love to Jackal God. All hail jackal God.

P.S. Why is Liliana thousands of years old but flirts with a teenage boy and talks like a 15-16 year old NEET girl?

Actually, couldn't that have been Bolas's keikaku with Kaladesh? Gain control of Kaladesh using Tezzeret like he has control of Amonkhet and get a second world to pump out planeswalkers for him, as well as tech.

>You forgot Nahiri. In her state, she will be easily manipulated by Bolas.
>Nahiri is stupid and deranged.
>Ob is a military genius and genre savvy
>Ob and Nahiri are mortal enemies
>Ob wants something a Gatewatch member has.
>Nahiri's arc is pretty much over
If you want tits in the evilwatch, Vraska makes more sense. She has an axe to grind on Gideon's invulnerable neck. Nahiri at this point is worse than the fucking Joker.

Because Liliana is every SJWs self insert.

>talks like a 15-16 year old NEET girl
Who do you think writes this shit.
Actually the people writing are in their late 20's but they obviously stopped their intellectual and emotional development in highschool.

>Nahiri at this point is worse than the fucking Joker.
She's not that mad.

>mfw that is actually a cool crew to hang out with

>P.S. Why is Liliana thousands of years old but flirts with a teenage boy and talks like a 15-16 year old NEET girl?
Because she's Black mana aligned, and therefore everything her eyes see is her sex toys, morality and ethics be damned.

Wrong.

She brought the eldrazi to a plane just because Sorin's Vampires lived there.

Seems pretty cray.

Yes but only if you use their flavortext personalities in the case of Chandra and Jace

Nahiri and Sorin have nothing to do with the Gatewatch from here. If anything, they would be entirely thankful to the Gatewatch for saving their most beloved planes.
Instead, they will both be blindingly, unendingly furious at Ugin for his eons-spanning manipulation that nearly cost them the same. If they possibly "join" Bolas, it will only be for the chance to tear Ugin to bits.

I imagine it's going to be an arc of Sorin, Ugin, and Nahiri participating in their own planar war against each other and have nothing to do with Bolas at all. The Gatewatch might be involved to try and protect the innocents of the planes as all three are arrogant and callous individuals with huge capacity for violence.