How Do Vampires Hide?

Vampire civil war perhaps, or maybe a Blade-like "monster that hunts his own kind" kinda deal.

Not sure if it's just from Hellsing, but there's that time as a child he was in a hostage/ward/I-have-your-kids-so-don't-rebel thing with the Turks, which would be a good time for becoming Vamp'd

You mean Vlad the Vampire Slayer?

>Vlad was the hero all along
>Vlad's been waging a secret war against the Vampires for almost 600 years.
>Vlad has turned you and the other PCs, and taken you under his wing
>Now you join the good Vampires and fight against the asshole Vampires
>All the Saudi princes? Vampires
>Dubai and Quatar? Vampires
>The Ayatollah? Werewolf. Turns out that's where the whole Shi'ite Sunni thing comes from

Vampire smear campaign. They've spread their lies so far over the centuries that they've associated their greatest enemy with the thing he hated the most.

It's not a lie. Drac got bit while fighting the Ottomans. Or when he was taken hostage by them as a child.

I dunno where we get this idea that both sides can't be vampiric and still killing each other.

Catholic here. Given the historical animosity, would that make Catholics werewolves? What about Protestants, Jews and Eastern Orthodox?

Jew here. Wouldn't it make sense for the Shias to be werewolves, and us to be something else? Cause they still hate them more than anyone else.

Could very easily just be godly humans that the vampires were out to destroy.

Could explain things like how The Arabs took over The North African Christian Kingdoms so fast, and why they called Crusades on them so soon. The Catholics could have easily been blood banks for their new Vampire Conquerors.

What if the original Vampires hailed from The Mongols and spread onto The Middle East through The Grand Mongol Invasions?

Works for me.

Pretty much all the People of the Book have some form of power at least - Abraham knew his magic alright.

As mentions, Mohammed got himself and his lines cursed, and they split again when one group tried to cure it.

Christians have harnessed this for cross = anti-vamp power

Jews have the Keys of Solomon and the Kabbalah - magic and daemons.
Daemons in particular seem a double edged sword for the jews, it's no coincidence they're had a LOT of misfortune

Who's the Vampire Queen, though? My money's on Lilith, who was trapped inside the Kabbah by God and Abraham.

My Grandfather's been teaching me Kabbalah for a couple years now. Trust me, that shit can kill vampires dead

Did Bro Moses sell a bunch of Egyptian First Born Souls to free his people?

You know if it was a Queen, it could be her.

But what if it's Cain pretending to be an Angel?

>Catholics get all the crazy trinkets the Vatican has been gathering for years and train knights to battle evil
>The Orthodox are into mysticism hard and have holy spells and powers
>Protestants get their work ethic and can work really ethically
>Jews get powerful golems and magics passed down by Solomon

Cain's been done before. Plus, he doesn't have a desceptive bone in his body.

Maybe Cain was the first werewolf, and god's curse forcing him to wander (I.E. not farm) means that God turned him into a carnivore.

Lilith was just the Jew'd version of Ishtar, who was known to be an evil seductress whose lovers mysteriously tended to waste away and died. She could summon the undead, and was known to hang around the area where the Kaaba is back in pre-Abrahamic times.

Plus, one of her titles was literally "Queen of the Night."

>Abraham
Remind me again what Professor Van Helsing's first name was?

>still fighting vampires 7,000 years later

Wasn't Ishtar the bitch that stole a bunch of unrelated god titles and powers because she was daddy's spoiled princess and he let her go back for seconds and thirds at the divine buffet table?

She did a lot of bad things, like threatening to start the zombie apocalypse basically every time she didn't get her way.

But Enkidu did slap her in the face with a severed monster dick that one time, so maybe her bitchiness is a little bit justified.

Well The Arab Empire could've been another failed attempt.

Lies propagated by Corvinius who was turned by the vampires of the Ottomans, and seemed to also corrupt the papacy to undeath

>seemed
*sought
You'll not trick me into heresy phone!

>Mongols actually drank blood directly from their horses for sustenance during non-stop rides.

This could work…

>So, France is leading the fight against the undead
GREAT UNDEAD PURGE WHEN?

Shouldn't be that hard to lure the Papacy into vampirism, considering the kind of symbolism Christianity has going on.

>And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, "Drink ye all of it; for this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins."

I'm working on a timeline of these whole events. gonna post soon.

I was just thinking that was the case because The Mongols did invade towards The Middle East.

I'm not sure if Attila had any relation with The Mongols, but The Pope claims to have sent him away from Rome, and when he returned home he actually died by drowning in his own blood.

What's claimed to have happened is that he got blasted drunk during his wedding and blacked out, falling on his back. He got a nosebleed in the middle of the night and he ended out breathing it in until he drowned.

Done on the timeline. If I missed something, please tell me
>Lilith is sent out of Eden. The Serpent blesses her with Vampirism.
>Exile from Eden happens.
>Cain kills Abel. God curses Cain with Lycanthropy.
>Cain meets Lilith. They fuck. We all pray to God they never had kids.
>Cain fucks about with mankind, gets a bunch of followers.
>God sends a flood, saving Noah and his family. Cain survives somehow. Lilith survives, but sinks to the bottom of the ocean and goes dormant.
>The rainbow God gives to Noah is a meataphor. God instead taught Noah how to manipulate light, the techniques to kill Vampires and Werewolves. As long as Mankind keeps them at bay, God won't need to send another flood.
>Timeskip to Abraham. He rediscovers Noah's lost Arts, which were forgotten in the times of Nimrod.
>Abraham gets the hell out of Ur. Moves to Kanaan.
>A mini Ice Age is happening. The seal levels will fall, and Lilith will get out. God command Abraham to build the Kabbah, and use it as a prison for Lilith.
>The Jews are made slaves in Egypt. Moses combines God Magic and Pagan Magic to create highly sophisticated spells and prophecies. These would go on to be encoded in the Old Testament using Kabbalic Ciphers. It forms the basis of all future Faith Magic.
>David is made King of Israel. The process of anointing a pure-hearted king gives them magical powers comparable to a Messiah. Unfortunately, David proves to have a weak heart.
>Solomon's heart proves to be pure, and he break's Moses' code. Using this knowledge, Solomon builds the Temple, which serves as a Locus of Power for Faith Magic. He establishes his Knights of the Kabbalah, who are the progenitors of future Kabbalists.
>Solomon's son proves to be incompetent, and the Kingdom is split.
>Jews are conquered and dispersed. The Kabbalists are weak, but still manage to deal with werewolves when they can.
1/2

>Jesus is born. He is so powerful, he has the Magical power of an messiah without the blessings and anointing. Many believe that he is the son of god.
>Corrupted Jewish priests ally with the Romans and kill Jesus. He pulls an Obi-Wan and ascends to heaven bodily with his soul intact.
>Romans destroy the Temple. Thankfully, the inner sanctum that is the lynch-pin to Solomon’s Locus remains undamaged.
>Gnostics are a thing. Maybe they do something interesting, IDK.
>Jesus’ disciples do their thing. Peter sets up the Vatican, Paul canonizes the works that will one day become Orthodox Monastic Arts.
>Council of Nicea happens. Christians consolidate their power and start building relics.
>Muhammad is born.
>He has some Power, but not enough to save him from Lilith. He accidentally frees her from her prison, and becomes the world’s second vampire.
>Muhammad gather’s Thralls/followers. People of Mecca kick him out. Muhammad moves to Medina.
>Muhammad ends up conquering all of Arabia. Near the end of his life, Muhammad tries to siphon the power of Solomon’s Temple. The locus’ holy power instead burns him to death. After Muhammad’s death, his most powerful follower, Abu Bakr, takes over.
>People wanted Ali to rule. He does, eventually, but he does such a terrible job at it, the other vamps kill him.
>Ali’s followers want revenge. Cain, who’s had his forces whittled away by Kabbalists for ages, shows up and offers them the chance. Ali’s followers agree, and Cain blesses them with Lycanthropy.
>The werewolves aren’t enough to keep the vamp expansion in check.
>Deciding that enough’s enough, the Pope calls a crusade. His descendants follow his example.
>The Crusades are effective, but they’re not enough. Ottomans take over, and the Orthodox sects are oppressed.
>Vlad Tepes, Prince of Walachia, is Turned by the vampires he fights. Instead of succumbing, Vlad uses his curse against his enemies, and keeps fighting them even to this day.
2/2

>>The rainbow God gives to Noah is a meataphor. God instead taught Noah how to manipulate light, the techniques to kill Vampires and Werewolves. As long as Mankind keeps them at bay, God won't need to send another flood.
Wait, so God taught Noah to be the first Ripple User?

>, but The Pope claims to have sent him away from Rome

No, every single contemporary source says the pope sent him away from Rome. Nobody knows how, but it happened. The two most popular theories at the time, and now, are that he either bribed him, or convinced him that if he sacked Rome he would be killed by God (like the previous guy who sacked Rome, his ship sank and he died, and he didn't even go ham on Rome).

Well yeah that's what I was getting at.
I think the story was that he actually walked out of Rome and talked to him personally and got him to leave.

Keep in kind, Dracula was IMPALING his enemies on WOODEN STAKES.

Oh shit, boi.

Hey what if he learns the secrets of how to kill vampires from his time as a vampire and that's why he impales them?

He made a great forest of steaks so none would ever forget how you kill a vampire, even when history pains him as evil.

Historically speaking they sent a delegation of to convince him to leave, and the Pope actually did it out of left field. I can't even think of something contemporary to compare it too, it shocked the entire world and guaranteed he would be heralded as a Saint the moment he died. It's like 9/11 but good I guess.

Now, the legend is the Pope was telling him he would face God's wrath and a specter holding a sword appeared before him. That one isn't contemporary, it came out a few hundred years after.

You know, speaking of other holy warriors, that means Joan Of Arc could have also been a vampire hunter.

She fought Muslims, right?

Nah, she fought other Europeans. And had to be burned to kill her.

I think Joan was on team vamp.

>holy Hamon
fuck it, why not.

Plus she was good friends with Gilles de Rais. I really hope I don't need to tell you why this is a very bad thing.

I don't know that part of history very well.
Why is Gilles de Rais so bad?

He secretly abducted and killed children, then mutilated their corpses.

Sounds like valid Vampire Material to me.

Allegedly. It's entirely possible that was fabricated so people could get a hold of his very valuable estate.

Plus the dude was interested in the occult and shit.

He literally admitted to doing it, though. And he didn't have much of an estate, since he was so decadent that he beggared himself with debt.

Did somebody say SOLOMON?

You may actually want to back the fuck up on Joan with your bullshit kid. They weren't friends, he was a soldier and military leader present at most of her battles, nothing more. He was a fucking commander in the Royal Army, it would have been pretty fucking hard for them to not associate. The idea that they had anything resembling a friendship is a relic of retards quoting Margaret Murray who thought she was a witch the Church killed.

Go back to England.

>Protestants get their work ethic and can work really ethically

>leaves his enemies staked in the sun

>Now, the legend is the Pope was telling him he would face God's wrath and a specter holding a sword appeared before him.
First Hamon, now Stands?
There really is nothing new u see the sun

>>Cain meets Lilith. They fuck. We all pray to God they never had kids.

user we all know that they had kids. It's literally impossible for Lilith, the inspiration for all whore like monsters and creatures throughout history, to NOT have had kids with Cain. If she didn't then somethings up.

>t.Vampire poster

Could be Attila's bloodline.

Oh fuck wait
Is he the one that most of the world's population is supposed to be related to?

So most people descend from Cain at one point or another?

Make the Christians a sliding scale of Mystic to Mundane/Material. Orthodox get the spells and mysticism, Catholics with trinkets, relics and holy orders experienced in fighting evil. Protestants brute force it with mundane means. Makes for the Catholics as a neat middle ground that ties them together. Material means with mystical origins.

Mormon Jesus

Nah, that's either Genghis Khan or Ramses the Great.

I should further elaborate as to why (you) are an English swine who fucked his own mother.

Firstly, you lack anything to attack on Joan directly. So instead you attack a morally blackened knight who was in the army with her. Joan of Arc was killed in 1431, and In his confession, Gilles mentioned the first assaults on children occurred between spring 1432 and spring 1433. Secondly, like all pigfucking English and their Anglo-spawn that blacken the world, you only dislike Joan because she revitalized French patriotism and effectively turned the tides of a war of succession that would have seen England having control of lands that by all laws belonged to the French. Thirdly, you are such a boneless roué that you fail to mention she was killed for dressing in male clothing, but her reasons are such that even the great church doctor Saint Thomas Aquinas allowed for. She wore men's clothing to deter rape from the dogs that imprisoned her. One English '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''noble''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' had already made an attempt, and she feared the next would be successful if she did not have sturdy boots to kick with, and pants that are difficult to remove.

Fourthly. It was a French tunnel that killed Princess Diana. So fuck you.

Oh yeah. Must be Genghis.

Ghengis has .5%, And I'd wager MOST of that population is centered specifically in mongolia and china

Watch this

>Dah-nuh-nuh-nah.

>tfw you like her just because your mom is named Joan

Hilariously enough my dad's named Roland, so I got both my parents and Frankish hero units in AoE2.

>Look at Human Migration
>Native Americans descended from Asians
>India is in Asia
>Polynesians are from Asia
>Middle East invaded by Asians all the time
>Tons of Mongols settle in Middle East after converting to Islam
The only Non-Asians are Blacks and Whites at one point or another.

Australians and certain pacific tribes too. The history of human migration to australia is fucked

>Native Americans descended from Asians
Eh, the people who crossed the Bering Straight were more Proto-Asian/Siberian. They're as far removed from the modern Asians as can be, and it becomes only moreso the farther South you travel. Only the Inuit are still that close enough to Asian

>This assmad at the English

Jeez, did an English man rape your mother to death? Calm the fuck down, Franz.

The trailer looks really interesting.

>Inhabit an entire continent unmolested for at least 40,000 years and as many as 60,000 years.

>Accomplish nothing.
>Burn a fertile paradise into a desert.
>Forget how to make fire.

Yeah that makes sense.
They still have the ability to look like them sometimes though. Light skinned Mexicans tend to look sorta Oriental.

>Jeez, did an English man rape your mother to death?

This hatred is hereditary.

What's more impressive is that, as far as we can tell, they managed to sail directly from africa to australia, with no stops in between. As far as I know there's no evidence of h. sapiens going through Asia until a good deal later

>hating on Joan of Arc being a badass vampire
>Frenchmen hating on Englishmen despite interbreeding with them and the Scots for centuries

More seriously given her background, its more likely that she was a Vampire Hunter killed by politics (and possibly vampires).

Coincidentally, this is also what led to the Eucalyptus becoming one of the dominant trees in Australia, due to both the high crude fat content of leaves and their thick bark allowing them to help propagate and survive a somewhat rapid burn interval

Probably hitched a ride on Yakub's Pyramids.

Okay, now I wanna add melanoid occultism into this. Just a little

Well what if she wasn't a vampire herself, but a vampire sympathizer?
Could make The 100 Years War for us into "The Day Wars" for them where they got lots of mortals to lead for them.

Now hol' up

What's a Melanoid?

A Negro.

Wait a minute...so the Aztec obsession with blood offerings means...

AYAYAYAYAY

youtube.com/watch?v=XUhVCoTsBaM

what the WE WUZ KANGS crowd call themselves.

I forgot to mention that a number of tribes didn't know how to count with their fingers till the 50's and a few STILL don't have words for numbers other than "One" and "Many"
Abbos are fucking weird man
Black people farcically attempting to take credit for the accomplishments of other races since they lack any notable ones of their own

Joan of Arc was known to have being comforted by holding cross while being burned, so it's unlikely she was a vampire.

Probably falsely accused by the real vampires she was hunting.

The ones who really cared about the heart thing were the faggoty Aztecs, while the based Inca worshiped the sun.

>adopted the moon as his symbol
Fake news. The crescent moon symbol didn't become associated with Islam until the Turks.

>Cortez was actually leading an overzealous crusade against Aztec Vampires

I didn't even have to click the link to hear it

Also, Like, half the tribes around the aztecs fucking hated them. Which is part of the reason why the spanish beat the aztecs so easily

That's a whole different kind of vampirism, tho. More likely that a local vampire equivalent developed independently, or somehow the Aztec vamps managed to get to Lilith while she's underwater. Which all becomes moot when Spain invaded, and bringing old world vampirism into the new world.
Who knows, they might have mixed together since then.

So, assuming the Aztecs were vampires/local vampire equivalents, the Incas must've been developing ways to counter this.

...