How do we make vampires cool again?

Stop Whining! All I did was cut off your stupid legs! Summon your demons! Transform yourself! Regenerate your legs! Stand up! Pick up your gun and attack me! Do something! The night is still so young, and the real fun is yet to start! Hurry, hurry, hurry, HURRY!!!"

After Twilight?
You need to literally wait entire generation of people now to be done with the fallout it created. On the plus-side, it's already few years, so I guess by 2020 they will be cool again, all by themselves.

I hope the fucker with a top hat on his helmet gets bullied to fuck by the other vampires.

drag them out into the sun

Introduce more RAPE

Read Masquerade or Requiem. I think White Wolf single handedly saved the idea for me

Parasitic, more The Strain less Interview with the Vampire.

Vampires have a castle town that they are able to run because they have built in to a hollowed-out mountain, with human thralls or willing workers running the farms in the foothills. They have a burdgeoning trade economy with the Drow, who have learned that they can get valuable goods from vampires in exchange for leftover blood from torture, violent anal sex, and violent anal torture. The vampires themselves aren't strictly evil people, but their methods will disgust most mortals and they are cautious of outsiders for this reason.

For extra spice, make their vampire lord Doctor Doom or Magneto

I don't know what "cool" means, but my preferred vampires are evil, monstrous, and antagonistic. I know ther sexual undercurrent has always been there, but that should add to the horror.

Mounted centaurs? What are they mounted on?

Stop letting girls turn them into a sexual fantasy.

Lower the temperature.

Taurcents.

It says right there they're riding werewolves. What I don't get is why they didn't just infect the centaurs.

Drop the muh tragic, misunderstood super-humans shit, and let vampires and werewolves be accursed monsters you are meant to fear and hate, as they once were.

But that'll make them warm

Oh, are we posting funny meme faces?
Let's make a collage!

by roleplaying them

Psychadelic Castlevania Vampires

>make a list of what you find uncool with vampire
>remove/change those things in your setting
>vampire are now cool
That was hard, and if you mean in general, write a book/make a video game/make a movie with cool vampire that become really popular.

Make them less edgy

>How do we make vampires cool again?
We have this thread, like, every fucking week, regurgitating the same stale ideas.

In any case, the machines of the common people will topple the vampire borgeoisie. Long live the Party!

By pretending that uncool vampires never existed.

>tg
>being cool

>pretending vampires never existed
how will that help?

...

I mean if you believe in stupid trends then we should see a resurgence of vampires in the next few years. That whole "vamps are big when there is a republican president. Zombies are big with democrats". Its stupid but fairly accurate and i am getting sick of zombies.

Lolipires are the future.

If you disagree, you're probably a huge faggot.

The same way you make ANYTHING cool. You do not concern yourself with the concerns of sheep, and lead the pack as a lion.

The only thing that can save us from the faggotry that are lolipires is the Good Doctor.

Cool is based off opinons

youtube.com/watch?v=JUJ2WnUsrzA
AYY

The good doctor a shit. He failed to kill the lolipire in his own series, even. But that's not why he was shit. Doctor a shit because he was wrong. And a monster, as much a monster as the things he fought against. And by becoming a monster he cemented his wrongness.

The lolipire in that series was wrong too, of course, but that's neither here nor there.

Lolipire was more wrong than the Good Doctor, though. She spouted the "we just gotta eat and I want friends, so why don't you roll over and die? ;^)" rhetoric and was surprised when SUDDENLY people didn't want to roll over and die, and when started fighting back, she spouted "you are the real monsters ;(((((" shit.

Sorry, but the Good Doctor was at least consistent in his motivations - a true man of conviction, willing to recognize his former wife for what she was - a predator. Lolipire was not - she was just throwing a tantrum like a fucking immortal manchild she was. And don't even get me started on the faggot monk.
Honestly, the only actually truly Good with big G character in the entire series was the nurse.

The memes have frayed your recollections. The story delivered the fact that humans were monsters, lolipire never said it. And he was not consistent. Hell, lolipire was 'consistent' in that she carried the childish beliefs about shiki/human nature and relations as long as she did. Doctor went from being a normal enough guy to being a hollow sociopathic husk of a man. Real men do not treat others as he treated his wife. His wife was not a predator, she was a frightened, confused tragedy.

Monk might not have been good but he won.

Nurse and the old lady were good guys.

>no dio
i am disappoint

I'd take a hollow husk of a man who sees the situation for what it is over the immortal manchild that ruined the lives of many people with her delusional outlook any day of my life.

To become less than man is too great a cost, dude. If he really saw what the situation was he would have reached out to the monk and things could have ended differently. Instead, he took the cold and efficient way out. It was barbaric and disgusting, and presented as such.

>he would have reached out to the monk and things could have ended differently
The monk was less than human too by that point. He wagged his tail like a dog to the first person who praised him in the entire village (namely, Sunako). Now, you might say that there could've been another way, but consider the situation Ozaki was in - he was tirelessly trying to cure his patients, and it simply got to him at some point. Meanwhile, both Sunako and the faggot monk enjoyed their sheltered lives without a single actual real worry.

Both human dead-ends but the monk got a waifu for laifu and the doctor got a half-rotten village.

Shiki was a fun read.

>implying selling your humanity for a waifu is better in any way for a respectable human being
Ozaki was a man crushed by his responsibilities and he did what he did because he saw no other way to prevent what happened to his village from happening to other places.
Both monk and Sunako did what they did simply because of fucking boredom and ennui.
If you ask me which I feel more apologetic about, it's a fucking no-brainer.

Selling your humanity for anything takes you out of the running for respectable human being. That's why Doctor McGruesome Wife Torture gets as little sympathy as Monkpire. Just saying the Monk at least gets loli tail out of it.

Make them scary

They're horror characters

I should tense up whenever a vampire interacts with a human

Make them bloated disease spreading corpse monsters like they were in many of the original myths and legends about them.

Do it like Salem's Lot

Vampires are a plague that breeds wherever evil and degeneracy can be found

Let's agree to disagree. A man sells his soul to prevent vampire from subverting other villages gets more respect from me than a man who sold his soul for stale vampire pussy.

> A man sells his soul to prevent vampire from subverting other villages
"A man who sold his soul to prevent vampires from subverting other villages", of course.

>How dare you put an unholy abomination against nature out of it's misery?

She would have inevitably gotten hungry and murdered someone. Even the nurse had to tell her coworker to stay back or she'll bite her.

The doctor gave his ex mercy. He saved her soul from eternal damnation. One moment of courage, and it is done.

It is out of the lore and experience of the ancients and of all those who have studied the powers of the UnDead. When they become such, there comes with the change the curse of immortality. They cannot die, but must go on age after age adding new victims and multiplying the evils of the world. For all that die from the preying of the Undead become themselves Undead, and prey on their kind. And so the circle goes on ever widening, like as the ripples from a stone thrown in the water.

Reminds me of how Buddhist soldiers/warriors believe that doing evil against the enemy will certainly damn them to the pits of Naraka for their act but there lies an opportunity to be reborn eventually. They know what they're doing is generating karma, but for the sake of others they choose hell.

Lolipires are still the way to go desu

There might be something in this, actually.
>mass lolipire pandemic in media
>mainstream becomes disgusted with vampires, moves on to something else
>blank slate for vampires to be dramatically rebooted into something cool

...

So the new vampires should be billionaires who prey exclusively on blonde women and turn orange when exposed to direct sunlight?

Actually, I can see lolipires turning mainstream due to the "creepy child" vibe, old vampires normally being seen as a joke halloween thing now and anything like blade that has modern vampires reminding peoplof twilight.

I agree. Badass lolipires. They are the future.

I wrote a ton of settings back in high school as a writing exercise, and made a game of each setting having completely different rules for vampirism. Because they all had to include vampires, because I was 15. My writing style has changed a lot since then but it was good practice.

Some examples. Vampires are:

>crazy old rich people who think that drinking the blood of young people will extend their lifespans (it doesn't)
>straight-up bloodplay fetishists with delusions
>a divergent strain of leeches that evolved to be human-shaped, still think like leeches though
>people possessed by parasites like cordyceps to have crazy estrus cycles and crave the sodium and iron content of blood to feed the invader
>the result of a cheap, off-brand style of necromancy that incompetent or poor mages buy (spells were a consumable commodity controlled by corporate wizards like they were soft drinks)
>the second or third stage of evolution from basic undead to liches, like they were pokemon
>larpers who wished really, really hard to be actual vampires
>people from venus who live beneath the cloud layer
>cavemen
>a voluntary genetic modification that became a fad in an age of excess
>a slave race that serve their skeleton overlords
>smokers
>yandere girls
>everybody but they didn't know it (Castlevania fanfiction, alternate end to symphony of the night)

I'm pretty sure I've got more autism stashed somewhere too.

The vampires in the firefall novels are really cool. Super intelligent apex predators from the Pleistocene era.

Necroscope

They're mosquito people, or at least the Annophelic strain are.
"Vampire" is a catch-all folklore term for a bunch of different blood-suckers with different origins and different rules

WHFB

With liquid nitrogen.
The only way cooler then that is with liquid helium.

If there's an underdark, why aren't the vampires living in it?

Why is both the sex and torture anal? Not that I mind but it raises questions.

They're allergic to edgieness.

Maybe they mean forcibly feeding them spicy food and castor oil?

They're vampires, edginess is the lifeblood that sustains them.

Also, living somewhere where you'll die instantly if you step outside your house half the time is way edgier than living in a giant cave system.

Vampires aren't just a type of undead, there are many kinds of vampires all with purportedly different origins.

For example, Drow vampires believe that being embraced is the Kiss of Lolth. They turn into spiders, control spiders, and their mist form is poisonous. If it were up to me, instead of mist they become a dissipating swarm of tiny spiders just to really fuck with my players.

Your anus is WEAK. and also castor oil makes you puke Skippy. Other end

Noone said those vampires die to sunlight.
Remember that Stoker's Dracula walked under the sun freely, he just had no superpowers during the day.

After a great calamity, almost all the humans in the world are dead, leaving more vampires than humans. There are a few independent human settlements, but most live on farms run by the more successful vampires. The majority of vampires have gone mad from hunger and wander aimlessly in search of the dwindling number of free humans hiding in the wilderness.

Eventually civilization will either re-form around the human farms, or the last of the humans will die and the vampires will have to just suck it up or kill themselves.

...

Bonus points if they can bite people and make spiders burst out of them

Plot twist: they're actually of the same nature and origin, but their abilities are shaped by their own beliefs.

>Make vampires great again
>Slave race

Turn them into cum pires.

Fuck forgot pic.

Use vampire counts

I LIKE IT

every vampire that isn't an undead a shit. a shiiiiiiittttttttt

They have to live where their food is found, humans don't thrive in caves.

>Drow, Gnomes, and Dwarves.

Maybe human blood is healthier or more nutritive.
Or hell, maybe vampires can only drink the blood of their original species.

Maybe tgey are just petty enough to risk their life to drink out of sweet sweet humans.

That vitamin D man, blood just doesn't taste right without it

It's unclear how many of Dracula's powers are from being a vampire and how many are from being a wizard

I'm brewing up a setting based off georgian london but with fantasy races (think fallen london meets shadowrrun) and the vampires, being most, part of the aristocracy they keep themselves as hedonistic celebrities to entertain the proles. Imagine a bunch of bloodsucking kardashians and people compete ata chance to becoma a thrall or "blood donor" and get some of that good unlife that can brush off.

Well this comment renders the comment directly above it objectively false.

>vampire terrorists

underdark is a form of risking your life, too.

-first things first strip them of all the other traits and just keep vampirism as a consistent factor
-don't just restrict them to humans, there are vampires of every race
-remove weaknesses, add new weaknesses, don't let any of those weaknesses be known
-they are not immortal or unkillable they are just very clever, murderous, and mysterious so that by the time you are onto them being a vampire they've already turned you into a bloodless corpse
-taking from the inter-species part there is no standard look for a vampire, they can be anyone or even anything
-they can be nobility but there is no "big aristocratic vampire families"
-they generally act like stalkers, sexual predators, and serial killers