What's the most disgusting D&D kill you've seen?

I was once a DM and a Halfling Rouge, Soprize Botesegs, Pushed a dagger in a goblins asshole unitil his shitty hand came out of his mouth.

Talk about a shitty way to go

A monk's quarterstaff decapitating someone. No, I don't know how, which leaves all the gruesome details up to the imagination.

When my group made the mistake of playing 4e we at one point found out a local senator was being impersonated by a Changeling. So we captured him to interrogate him. But, rather than let him even try to resist, our shitass Warforged Barbarian decided to fist his asshole. He shapeshifted into a larger form, so more fisting was applied. And then another fist. And then our shitass Dwarf Wizard decided to help out by wrapping barbed wire around the barbarian's arms, and the DM said that the Changeling just fucking died and we didn't get any information out of him.

Two people held an enemy down, and the alchemist threw vial after vial of acid into his face until his face had pretty much melted off, and what was left was embedded with shards of glass.

God dammit, Carlos!

>ITT: Veeky Forums tries to out- edge each other
>also, virt posting

This is going to go well.

was the setting pakistan

Had the Half-Orc fighter basically headlock an Ogre and shove him face first into a smelting furnace. If you've ever played that Punisher game with the interrogations it was like that.

kek

>playing with long-time friends, everyone including the DM is still relatively new to the game
>just dicking around at level 3, rushing through a dungeon like it's nothing
>final battle is against two succubi
>kill one of them easily after it tries to charm us
>get ready to crush the other one and wrap things up for the night
>warlock decides he's tired of casting eldritch blast
>reaches into his pack and pulls out the only magic item we found
>Wand of Grease
>shoves it up the succubus' rear end with a 19 attack roll
>activates the wand
>mfw the DM basically just says fuck it as he describes what it's like for 10 square feet of grease to suddenly burst into an enclosed cavity
>stomach expansion occurs until grease comes out of multiple orifices and she explodes into a pile of blood and guts
>we all sit there in sheer disbelief, including the warlock

The Warlock was me, I don't know what I was expecting

My Monk was some-fucking-how convinced to get into a bathtub filled with Acid.

Probably either the paladin being tied naked to a bed and stabbed to death by a pair of doppelganger prostitutes he offered to guard in the night, an assassin on-board a passenger ship having his head shoved into a boiler, or the ratfolk gunslinger who triggered a sonic attack trap, had his eardrums explode, and bleed to death on a grimy stone floor with blood pumping out his ear canals.

A fight inside a windmill where one of the guys got pushed into the grinding stone and was crushed completely (which also ruined a week's worth of grain)

Our halfling rogue was petrified by a basalisk. The only way to heal him is with a pint of basalisk blood. They couldn't find a vial to keep the blood on, so they just cut open the basalisk and shoved him inside.

In a Call of Cthulhu game an investigator critfailed his Dex roll and fell down a sewer manhole into the maw of a shoggoth.

He was was torn to shreds by rows of acid dripping teeth.

We quickly closed the manhole after that.

Rogue critically hit an enemy while flanking and the enemy was distracted; rolled a 20 to confirm, so I told the rogue to roll to confirm a double super critical and that was ANOTHER 20, so I ruled the rogue stabbed the enemy through the brain stem and out the mouth, and the enemy's head flew off and exploded, covering the rogue on blood and gray matter.

The rogue then turned to the enemy leader and demanded he surrender. He fucking did.

Creative use of magic, I approve.

>and I thought they smelled bad on the outside

That's not how Grease works. What it would do is coat 10 square feet of her digestive system with grease, which would probably lead to hilarious diarrhea (do Succubi even poop?) but nothing fatal.

>human intestine has 2700 square feet of surface area.

Technically, you might have given her really bad diarrhea for a bit.

If you were the DM, why did you allow it?
I would have told the player to gtfo as soon as he told me his character was named Soprize Botesegs

Not really sure, I've seen some fucked up shit in my time.

>PC trips friendly NPC in spinning blade trap for shits and giggles
>Death by baby spider eggs hatching within the body
>Mostly cleaved in two, down to the gut, organs spilling all over the door behind them

That is just off the top of my head. I mean, just last session I was in
>Druid pounce/dive rapes female lion from behind as a male lion, inflicting just enough damage to literally fuck it to death

It's like I own an island, and you are asking me which grain of sand is my favorite.

>do Succubi even poop

Yes, because it's a way to seduce scatfags. I'd guess that they can produce poop at will, or maybe store some internally, so they can also have a spotlessly clean anal passage for seducing the non-scatfags.

Well dang, I guess we were mistaken on what'd actually happen. Our DM just gave it to us because we were goofing around and the fight was pretty much over anyways. I retired the wand afterwards, we didn't want encounters to turn into a game of bumtickling.

mfw can poop on command

>be Dm
>party working for a corrupt guild
>local officials, military leaders, heads of churchs start being
>most are horrible people
>kingdom on verge of revolution
>guild starting paying players to protect officials, slay revolutionaries
>intoduce revolution leader as first low level bbeg
>He always escspes the players and they love fighting him
>bbeg becomes major bottleneck to the story
>set up a normal end of adventure battle between players and bbeg
>cleric chooses to attack
>bbeg gets hit
>He falls to the ground and goes limp
>players think it's some kind of trick
>cleric even tried to revive him
>one player even left and ignored my texts for a couple days

Logic should never get in the way of righteous kills, even if they sometimes flip over into the gnarly and weird.

I was running a dwarf slice of life game. The dwarves, having finished a good shift in the mines, were on patrol, when a giant frog hopped at them.

One grabbed its tongue, and rammed his fist in its throat to choke it. The other shoved his fist up the frogs asshole. They shouted "the fist goes deeper!" as they pushed their arms in, killing it with a fistbump somewhere around its belly.

It was hilarious, honestly. Could barely breath.

I get the feeling playing 4e was the least of your problems.

Not the most disgusting but most fucked up.
>Pathfinder
>Final dungeon
>Run across a naga during a battle
>Wary of us first but won't attack us when we say we come in peace after a few blows made in misunderstanding
>Pings evil
>From what I gather, the naga is evil but quite childlike still so he considers us friends.
>Our group alchemist(?) ain't buying it.
>He is "secretly" a fleshwarper and alinged evil, but never acted even close to evil.
>Rest of the group had been speaking about alingments before the session so I think he thought that he needed to show just how evil he is.
>Considering the naga a threat (with some fat loot I might add), he gives potion to him saying that it's a healing potion for the scrapes naga got in the tussle
>It was actually a fleshwarping potion that turns lungs into gills with no save
>The naga drowns on dry land, confused and afraid.
Moral of the story is that don't bring up alingments lest you are ready for fucked up interpretations

>First time dming
>First dungeon
>Sent there by a tall, obese man named "Big G" who they all remember to this day and start mimicking the moment a fat character is introduced in any campaign
>Party runs across some kids around a crashed caravan on the road a couple hours earlier
>Each of them couldn't have been more than 12-13 years old
>They decide to spare them even though they were looting goods
>All they had were some rusty, broken daggers anyways and probably didn't kill anyone since no bodies or blood anywhere
>They end up at the dungeon
>It's filled with young teens, oldest they end up finding is about 15-16
>They slaughter them in droves but it's justified, they were attacked by them
>One teen, about 14 years old, is bleeding, has a giant wound on his arm, and is crying his eyes out at the feet of the dragonborn fighter
>"PLEASE! PLEASE!" is all he can really make out between the dry heaving, crying, and snot running down this kids face
>The party has some compassion for the kid, heals him and he tells his story
>Most these kids came from a really shitty district in the city the party came from
>They're normally kidnapped or seduced to come to the cave they're held up in and start working for a guy called the "Houndmaster", the boss they're supposed to get a ring off of that Big G wants
>He's really happy that someone has saved him from this life, he was being sexually molested almost daily by the Houndmaster's Lieutenant along with like 5 other kids and was tired of being a criminal
>They tell him he ought to get out of here since they need to keep going through the cave system
>He starts running off with a smile on his face and waves back at the group
1/2

>That's when I remind the party that the Cleric has been looting the other wing of the dungeon this whole time
>Kid runs into this random Tiefling Cleric just as he sees the light pouring in from the entrance to the cave
>She may as well be a warlock since she worships "evil gods"
>Without even thinking she decides to eradicate this random bandit charging towards her
>Nat20 rolls for days
>The kid doesn't even have time to scream, all he can do is watch as this beam of light turns him to ash
>In his final moments she sees his innocent smile fade into a face of pure horror
>The party hears nothing of this and never finds out what happens to the kid

I stopped dming for them after the next session and let a friend take over. I'm really judgmental of the things I do and felt like I wasn't providing enough for them.

Did you honestly think that the whole molestation angle was necessary for the plot?
Not triggered here but I'm just asking why?

>Not the most disgusting
What was?

It was just a really fucked up group of guys kidnapping kids, fucking them up mentally and physically.

It was a form of domination. Kind of like, break their spirit and they'll follow sort of deal.

The guy doing it was a really fucked up fellow who literally kept kids in cages with starved dogs roaming around in the room.

Well honestly I can't recall. I'm sure there were kills that had bodily fluids/excretions involved over the 10 years I've had this hobby so I just played it safe.

But wouldn't have the PC's wanted to kill the baddies all the same without it?

kobold ass-schlonged by a pony while his own dog bites his balls off

Virt posting? I don't see anything about elves

Our Barbarian had Profession(Midwife) and asked the DM if he was allowed to roll that instead of an attack roll to kill a bandit.

He was permitted to do so and succeeded.

Potentially, but he wasn't really an objective on his own. He was in a separate corridor away from the Houndmaster so he would have been avoidable to some extent.

With that in mind some of the party, probably, would have tried convincing the others to avoid the other corridor if it wasn't for this dude's actions. All in all I thought it would be somewhat realistic to help explain why it was the bandits were primarily young teenagers.

>store some internally
If they can't produce it, is there a certain way they go about collecting it? Is there a particular color/consistency they prefer and does the original owner matter?

I think the goriest was back in highschool, when 3.5's Expanded Psionics Handbook came out, the one that updated psionics rules from 3.0 to 3.5 and someone played a psion. Mind Thrust was his favourite power, and he liked to dump as many power points into it as he could whenever he used it.

The deaths from it were pretty typical stuff -- bleeding noses, bleeding eyes, bleeding ears, eyes rolling back, and even a "his brain explodes out the back of his head" kill a while back, but the messiest one was when the player rolled close to maximum damage on a mind thrust that he augmented as much as he was able, pushing the orc very deep into negative HP.

The DM described how all of the orc's muscles contracted all at once to such a degree that his body literally tore itself apart, how the orc clenched its jaw so hard that its teeth shattered, and how all its organs were crushed by the muscles. What was left afterward could barely be called an orc.

Highschool was good times.

>Playing weird, semi-homebrew of D&D (Advanced 2nd ed I think? It was weird)
>Party of CN Human Male Fighter (Me, first time playing), TN Human Cleric, CN Halfling Rogue, a CN Elf Ranger, and a CG Elf Fighter.
>Go into the DM's weird mountain-castle-dungeon we had to deal with, had a cow motif
>We plunge deep into the dank caves
>Deal with a few enemies here and there, nothing big
>Get into a larger room
>There's a minotaur just fucking a cow
>Everyone's uncomfortable, and during this second the minotaur pulls out and comes after us
>Not doing much to him after a while, I got a plan
>I still had my bright red winter-clothes from another quest
>Take it out, go full matador
>Nearly get killed, but manage to get the minotaur's horns stuck in the wall
>Cleric comes up to me, and tells everyone not to attack it yet
>He has the rogue cut its legs so that it can't get out
>That happens
>He says he wants to castrate the minotaur
>Can't use sharp objects, only a heavy, metal mace
>"That's not gonna stop me"
>He raises his mace, and leans into the minotaur's ear
>"Time to put this stud out to pasture"
>4 rounds pass
>Minotaur not having a good time
>Cleric still going
>Minotaur has died from the shock as well as internal bleeding at this point
>Rogue gets tired and cuts off the still-hard minotaur dick and balls
>Cleric takes the dick
>Attaches it to a stick
>"It's a blunt object"
>Using magic, he keeps it hard and unrotting
>He continued to use it until the end of the campaign
>pic related, DM the entire time

>Fast forward to when the party's fighting a dragon in a room that's magically pitch-black
>Dragon's on its last legs, has killed two new members of the group and the rogue isn't around
>"Hey, can you guys tell me when you think it's really low?" asks the Cleric
>We tell him yeah, and continue fighting
>Next post will finish last bit of story

>DM says "It's breathing heavily, its wings are drooping, and it sets its sights on you, user"
>Prepare myself to get royally fuck via poison-breath or whatever the fuck it had yet to pull out
>It's the Cleric's turn
>"I shove the Minotaur Pizzle Club up it's ass"
>"Roll with a minus 2"
>Cleric rolls, hits the now exhausted dragon
>The trauma of being sodomized with a minotaur's dick in the middle of the fight was enough to actually kill it
>He upgraded it directly after that with his spoils from the battle
>Pic is the cleric, the entire time
I'll be honest, that party was some of the best fun I've had playing any TTRPG, even though all of the characters we played were really just power-fantasies.

>He fucking did.
I would too, fucking hell.

2E, one player was a ranger (with a bat as an animal companion) who wanted to fuck another PC in the middle of the street. I told him I would roll to see if the other PC got pregnant if he did, so the ranger said "I use my bat as a condom".

What the kek.

I bet that joke would have gotten a luke warm reception.

You know I don't think a windmill is strong enough to do that to a man but I don't know enough about windmills to formally contest that

Scatfag successfully seduced.

Every time someone managed to wound my wizard in one game, I would give them cruel and unusual deaths.

Like turning a djinn into a mouse, and then letting my psuedodragon familiar play with his food.

Surface area and volume are not the same friendo

My paladin suplexed a goblin so hard its head exploded

If there's a good wimd blowing I imagine the millstone itself and all the other machinery that spins with it would have a lot of momentum. Doesn't seem like too much of a stretch that they could grind up a person without slowing down.

I shot a guy with a bow and arrow so hard that his entire skeleton was pushed out of the exit wound. I did a dance and then ran into the woods, never to be seen again

I could probably cover 10 square feet with a quart of cooking oil, and that's being on the safe side. I wouldn't want to drink a quart of cooking oil, but it's certainly not going to make me explode.