Oi lads if you could be a dear and post hilarious stories from your dark heresy games that would be great. I like to use them as inspiration for my own games.
First post here since lurking so treat me kindly my dudes.
Your hilarious dark heresy stories
Michael Turner
Anthony Brooks
>be me
>trying to hit filthy hive world scum with bitchin hammer
>miss
>hits my shin
>crits
>"The hit rips apart the flesh of your leg spraying blood everywhere"
>i fall into a pool of my own gore and die
>mfw
James Torres
Jesus christ.
Did the rest of that campaign go as badly?
Jordan Baker
Our GM thought we would be happy to have a ship with Kroot mercs for crew. He underestimated our dedication to roleplaying xenophobes, so in the end we took control of the bridge through a mix of force and trickery (and with a little Navy help), then vented all the oxygen in the decks where no human was present. Then, we sold their bodies and eggs to the local AdMech's Biologis department.
We made a lot of friends that day.
Camden Wright
Last I checked, even rolling a nat 100 on a WS test doesn't make you hit yourself, only specific weapons do that.
Xavier Scott
>Deathwatch
>Fighting nurgle orks and regular orks
>Need info on regular orks
>Fight a mob of boyz
>Bright Idea. I'll interrogate an ork and get info on where their camp is.
>Tackle ork out of the horde while everyone else kills them.
>Entire team threatens and intimidates the ork
>I decide to simply talk to the ork and reason with it because calculating FTW
>roll a 1
>Well fuck ork is super compliant and we learn everything. I get the other bright idea to embed a sleeper agent into the camp
>" Ork since I killed your boss, by your laws I am now your boss"
>roll a 1
>Ork is now a loyal servant to the Emperor.
>Ork later vanishes in gunfight
>later missions get word of a Ork ship that attacked dark eldar to free human slaves
Five years on We are now facing the single largest ork WAAAAGH in the Jerhico reach trying to take out sub commanders of an Ork Waaagh that is absolutely resolute in its faith to the Emperor and worships the killteam as living saints.
And that's the tale of Boss Gretchnick
Landon Jenkins
>Running Rogue Trader
>PC's are hunting a dangerous yu'vath warp creature thing through the forest
>party psyker says that since his Holocaust power burns across dimensions, and ignores intervening cover, that that can be used to destroy the creature
>the plan they came up with was to place the psyker within a metal, protective box, dangle the box from a shuttle-craft, swing him vaguely near the creature, and have him holocaust, to create a psychic burning pendulum of death
Jeremiah Sanchez
Oh boy i love this thread.
Dominic Johnson
Wouldn't holocaust have also damaged/destroyed the box he is in along with the rope/cable connecting the box to the shuttle?
Asher Torres
>Playing a pilot in Rogue Trader
>Started with a plasma pistol and a bolt pistol because it's cool
>First round of every single combat the plasma pistol overheats and I drop it
>It becomes more of a chore
>"Aight, let's get the plasma over with"