/5eg/ Fifth Edition General: "Warlords when" edition

>he actually spelled "bestiality" correctly
Something you want to tell us user

carnivore

Fuck Warlords; 4Eshitters get the fuck out and stay out.

Ideas for games set in not-greece and that use the greek pantheon?

That really takes beating the meat to a new level.

Should I be a Moon Druid to live out my Furry fantasies or a Shepard Druid to speak with my animal pals?

If your both does it average out or just add together?

The Barbarian and Fighter sound kinda cool honestly.

Well, I'm pretty sure all plants technically have both 'male' and 'female' reproductive organs so... bisexual?
>Bestiality is one rung higher up on the ladder than homosex.
Is it really bestiality if you're also an animal?

>What do you expect?
A "starved YouTuber" class and a link to Mercer's Patreon.

>Something you want to tell us user

That taking my Major in English was a mistake.

Also what if the animal has been Awakened?

Fucking hell I thought I already didn't like the idea of druids.

>for months the party has a butcher their way to the orc stronghold
>encounter the BBEG
>fight the avatar of violence's big toe
>the toenail of the avatar's big toe is an annoying dog
>yelps
>everyone roll constitution
>4 out of 5 players roll 17, DC18
>they instantly fall to the ground at 0 HP
>last player stands his ground
>roll charisma, fail
>the toe siphons his soul and traps it into one of his warts forever
>TPK

>Our champion fighter half orc tries to be quiet during the entire encounter
>DM pushes him to talk anyway
>Champion callss the general a bitch
>They do nothing but roll yahtzee at each other
>Champion tries actions like disarm, dm fucks that with a sword that flies back to the general's hand
>The fighter's ring of spell storing is banned by some last second "honor duel rules"
>DM is so cocky he says "If you defeat me champion, you may become the leader of my order"
>Suddenly the bard starts throwing around inspiration and cutting words
>DM looses his shit
>THAT'S INTERFERENCE"
>Dude. Bard.
>That bullshit is magic man, them catching you means a forfeit
>Then he should have really picked a Second when I mentioned it over and over again and told me to fuck off. They are exactly to cover this type of nonsense
>"He said "No magic", they're looking at you if you try it again"
>Sulk. Pull out players hand book. A couple of rounds go by
>"Bardic Inspiration and Cutting Words, man, right here. It's literally just cheering. I'm allowed to cheer, right?"
>"The Bard can cheer? Please?" says the champion
>DM looks like I've taken a shit on his cereals. I'm going to pay if I interfere
>Fuck it
>Champion is almost down. Cutting words to reduce the damage. Save him from his relentless rage feature for just one more round
>DM goes livid.
>"Last one, I promise!"
>Ran out of Inspiration Dies
>hedoesntneedtoknowthat.jpg
>Champion Fighter crits twice in a row
>He wins
>DM doesn't know what the fuck all to do now that he gave a roaving band of undead paladins to the group
>"THAT WAS CHEATING AND YOU KNOW IT" says the DM
>"Dude.. True Neutral, Charlatan Background..."

I'm going to have a combatative DM for the rest of the campaign, but it was worth it

Theros is a decent source for ideas.

Also make it more focused around monsters then evil overlords. Players should be fighting Minotaurs and shit not bandits.

Some day.
ha ha like trump even knows who the fuck shakespeare is

Sounds ripe for tales of Herculean heroes journeying to the realms of the Gods to do battle with Hades, Zeus, etc.

DMs: how do you keep track of large amounts of enemies? Specifically their HP.

Ha ha jokes on you fag I dropped that major as soon as I could.

Along with college all together ;_;

your dm is a tool

With a piece of paper and pencil.

I play on roll20 and never have problems with it.

pencil and paper and basic mathematics.

I usually use Roll20, even when playing IRL.

>A Quentin Tarantino campaign

Notepad file. I write down the names of each monster, then initiative. On the line below that is hp (if there's multiple monsters of the same type, like 5 skeletons, i put all their hp on the same line separated by commas). Line break, then the next monster.

No, that's what the demilich acernig does. He whine wails, then he sucks on someone with his teeth

Okay I'll explain my reasoning a little bit.
Conjuration - obvious, I'll skip it
Shepherd druid - Based around animal summoning and animal spirits. Your conjured animals get bonuses.
Warlock - as pact of the chain you get a familiar that can actually attack (although it is kind of shit). But more like you would use it to deliver powerful touch attacks if you wanted to use it offensively. Generally though, it just provides a lot of good utility. But lots of this utility you can get from regular find familiar. As a warlock if you're willing to risk losing the con. you can also summon an elemental once per day. Still, conj wizard does this much more safely.

Beast master ranger was also pretty self explanatory.

In my mind it seems like beast master is the least "annoying" because your pet will be a regular party member and won't require much planning.

The conj wiz and the druid seem a bit more complicated in regards to management.

I only pretend I do. HP isn't real - I run my game through an elaborate amount of lies and bluffing.

So if the enemies are moving around on the board, do you mentally designate which ones they are on paper?

I don't have enough unique miniatures.

Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish, user. The joke was lost on you.

Not that user but it was also lost on me.

Got me thinking about how a Tarantino campaign would do shit like start at the end, have random flashbacks to the beginning, and end in the middle.

You name them. If you're using miniatures, just tape a little paper tag to the underside of the base that says A or 4 or some shit. And purposefully don't use them in sequential order, because it really worries a party when four Orcs show up but they're numbered 3, 5, 6, and 9.

Yeah, you can just mentally note which is which. Alternatively, buy a bag of colored rubberbands and put them around the base of the minis to keep multiples of the same type separate.

Or attach one of those tiny page marking post its to it, with a letter or number written on it.

Conjurer is actually rather decent with those UA Demon summon spells. Most are for a single powerful creature and the low level ones can't be controlled but disappear as soon as concentration breaks. Meanwhile the Conjurers concentration buff is amazing at keeping the high level ones in check.

It's an older /tv/ meme but literally all of his films have a foot scene.

Has anyone actually seen or played as an Artificer? Is it any fun?

I want to have my BBEG invade the dreams of my PCs (cliche I know), because it's been a few sessions and they have yet to meet him.

Is there a version of the Dream spell that can be used on multiple targets at once to make it into a coherent shared dream? Am I overthinking this and should just do it even if there isn't?

Just do it. If any party members get upset that it's not a real spell then make the homebrewed spell "greater dream" and offer to let them take it.

No one will actually take it.

Just do it like Nightmare on Elm Street. It's a common enough cliche that the players will roll with it.

Sure, chose a creatue with Telepathy as your Dream medium

That or get a Night Hag

Just started a campaign with an artificer gunsmith in my group today, actually. Its not half bad.

Not that I know of, but there's no reason why you can't say the spell targets the whole party for this thing.

If you think it will be interesting, and think that your players will enjoy it, just do it even if there is no actual spell that says you can.

The goddess of dreams interfered with the spell and caused their dreams to merge.

What said, though if you want to be completely RAW, BBEG could have a bunch of Subordinates individually cast Dream on each of the party members and give them the same Dream.

What kind of utility does Cleric bring to the party? Their spell list look pretty weak for out of combat usage.

I do this half the time too. I'm used to GURPS

The moral issue mostly goes away in the case of awakening, assuming it's well after the more suggestible initial period when they have more independence and experience.

Still weird af though. Maybe slightly less weird in animal form?

There are a few UA option that let PC know enemy current hp though... and even if you stick to PHB, Battlemaster Fighter can do it too.

>buffs
>is buff
>high Wis
>good-aligned godbotherers are double-trusted by most people

Many of their spells are tailored to utility.

Healing and buffs inside and out of combat. Out of combat, they're good at things like detecting nearby sources of magic, and then dealing with that magic in a safe way. Being a cleric is about knowing that you're the best protected from the dark magics in the world, and you'd never allow you idiot companions to endanger themselves.

While we're on the subject of clerics, how does Veeky Forums feel about Forge clerics? How do they stack up against Life cleric with some extra spicy goodberry cheese?

> no flight or spider-climb
> no illusion
> no charm / dominate / detect thought
> no comprehense language or identify
> tailored to utility

Forge Cleric is the best option if you want to be an old school self buffing Cleric who can beat the shit out of the unworthy.

Sure, sure. I'll just make up a number on the spot if they try it. My players never play fighters though because they know it bores me and is a good way to draw random effect table rolls.

Probably one of the best domain out there. Solid AC with shield spell. Fun channel divinity and good spell list.

>charm / dominate
Not utility.

>when the DM has you make a Con saving throw during a meal at a noble's house

>Dinner party at a noble's house
>BBEG has an invitation

> implying mystic player won't constantly asking for enemy hp after every attack.

>roll low
>"You feel fine."

This is why I always eat my own goodberry.

>UA Demon summon spells

Where is this? I can't find it in the MEGA Trove.

Gothic Heroes might be the UA? Check spells in the 5etools and search Conjure to find them.

The old black magic UA

Is the Nature Cleric as shit as people say? Getting Shillelagh for free, resistance to elemental attacks and there's some decent spells they get (Spike Growth). Their Channel Divinity sucks ass but it's not the worst.

Can it be any good?

>mfw im a pally

It not shit since Cleric is a good chasiss.
But you might be better off just playing Druid.

Yeah I am kind of feeling that. I honestly just want the Heavy Armour because I'm planning to be a Firbolg.

Also I'd like to be able to duke it in Melee sometimes but I guess Flameblade's a pretty decent spell.

>mfw i know the noble's alignment is evil and we're sharing a plate

I'm going to have my Lich BBEG trap the party in their minds where they go through a dungeon and once they kill the boss they are released but 10 years have passed

>CHA 9 fighter constantly interrupts my CHA 16 clerics with his shitty speech checks
If you don't put points into it just don't even try honestly because you're wasting people who want to conversate's lives

>playing a Dwarf
>in a perpetual WISH A NIGGA WOULD mode while dining

>not getting huge circumstance bonuses for making persuasive arguments
hurr i have 20 cha so everyone must love me
my idea of seduction is "nice tits bitch"

>are you an archaeologist?

>not playing a low CHA low INT fighter who lies compulsively but is shit at it
RP more senpai

I have the exact same issue in my party.

But it's fitting because the player asks stupid questions and never gets anywhere with the NPC.

Ever heard of Titan Quest? It's a diablo clone set in mythical Greece & Egypt (and bizarrely and rather unfortunately, China). Maybe you could get inspiration from there

>I must ruin the game for everyone else because it's what my character would do

Ok. I will hold person you next fight bitch.

>dwarven "fighter"
>totally-not-cultists serve up a meal for the party
>it's full of KO juice
>everyone passes out but me
>decide to play act and zonk out
>baddies strip everyone and take their weapons, throw us in a jail
>wait until most of the cultists are out of the room
>SPRINGFLIP
>SILENCE SPELL
>PINGPONG AROUND THE ROOM AND TRASH THEM
>party and cultists can't comprehend how they're getting wrecked by a naked, bare-handed Fighter
And that's how the party learned I was actually 1 Fighter / 5 Shadow Monk wearing armor the whole time

So because it's better then Nature Cleric and so many people have never seen someone play a Druid other then people doing itt just for Wild Shape, what Archetype?

I can't decide between Land for that short rest recharge, Dreams for support, Twilight for damage and Shepard for going full Bestiality.

How do you differentiate a Hireling from a DMPC?

Plot twist: you are actually metagaming like a fag, and your fighter friend is actually a master of roleplay by being true to how a low charisma fighter would behave :^)

Make nuclear druid

>having a character making lies so obvious that NPCs just think he's an idiot ruins the game
You are bad at RP

No.

>I was hunting bugbears with my uncle in Evereska

It's like this nigga ain't ever seen Columbo.

Well if you're making it REALLY not-Greece PCs fighting gods is completely out of the question unless it's temporary power-ups from another god or if they're among the higher end of demigod. Even then they shouldn't be able to kill gods, as being a god in greek mythology involves a lot of fate bullshit besides the immortality and power

Did the DM know? Because that situation seems tailored made for you to kick ass.

Playing a Wu yen what starting disciplines should I take?