Power Word: Pain-> Power Word: Pin.
Summons sharp and painful thumb tacks all over the ground, like a demented combo of Grease and caltrops. Somehow still not as broken as its inspiration.
Reincarnate- > Raincarnate
Allows the caster to assume the form of weather patterns. From clouds to thunderstorms to blizzards to sandstorms, you too can have all the fun powers of turning the elements against your foes while still getting to add your STR modifier! Druid exclusive naturally.
Passwall-> Pusswall
Turns xd4 feet of cubic inorganic material (x being caster level) into fleshy mass filled with disgusting blobs of puss. You can cut through it and walk through the wound, but you need to make a CON saving throw to avoid contracting 1d4 diseases of the DM's choice. Not to mention the other players' disgust when they hear and see you have the damn spell.
Phantasmal Killer-> Phantasmal Miller
Summons an incorporeal logger to help with deforestation. Boring, yes, but the wizard who codified the spell made a mint and got funding for centuries to come.
Otto's Irresisteble Dance-> Otto's Irresisteble Danse
Summons an instance of Paladin Danse with Charisma 10. No, that's not adjusted for D&D stats from the SPECIAL system, Danse is just average looking. No one said this spell was Otto's best idea, okay? Everyone has their flops!
Scrying-> Crying
If target fails a Wisdom saving throw against this enchantment spell, they will start crying uncontrollably, giving them penalties to most rolls. Actually not a half bad spell, when you think about it...
Haste-> Waste
Does absolutely nothing. In fact, even hearing that this spell exists causes it to forcefully appear in your spellbook and permanently take up room there and stop you from learning more spells until you get rid of the curse! Dark sorcery indeed!