/5eg/ Fifth Edition General:

Talk to them and tell them to knock it off. Or make their god tell them.

Where can I find premade character sheets for 5eg? I tried myth weavers but I didn't find anything

Your phone clearly has better reception then mine.
Nonetheless, thank you user.

>keep paladins from being lawful stupid
I make my players choose bonds and ideals, not alignments. If they start leaning too far in to Lawfulstupid territory I'll make write up some lawful paradox that causes them to implode.

Aren't there some on the official website?

lmgtfy.com/?q=5e premade characters

This became sort of endearing.
Have a nice day.

I was hoping for something more original
Fuck you (nice digits senpai)

Even the way I report his post every time it shows up is a sort of comfortable routine I've settled in.

>I want originality in my stolen premade characters

Seriously?

1000+ premades on the first result anonkun.

It's not for me, I'm teaching my lil bro DnD

I don't get it either, I was just gonna leave it be.

This is pretty much it for me too.
My last character was a Oath of Devotion Paly of Lathander who was NG rather then LG.

....he was basically this guy.

bullshit excuse

>How do you keep your paladins from playing lawful stupid?
I don't have to. I have good players.

My NPCs, on the other hand.

...

Why not teach him how to make a fleshed out character then? Or have him pick a background and literally randomize it by rolling in the tables?

One of the perks of working on motor coaches for a living, newer ones have built in wifi.

...

>no call no show member for weekly meet up

What do you do?

Go on with out him, fill him in next week.

That's the best feeling

Drop them if they don't say anything or reply to you. No mercy.

Anyone ran forges of fury? Is it good?

tell him he's got one more shot. shut down other people in the group for shitting on him, if he does it a couple more times then he's gone and feel free to shit on him forever.

just came home from a DnD session where two dudes roleplayed a male human rogue fingerbanging a female dwarven fighter.

Ask me anything.

Were they cute dudes?

was the ass fat
was the bush thick

Did you gouge their eyes out and stomped on their necks afterwards?

no

the player specified that his female dwarf hadn't shaved and showered in weeks.

the damage was already done. No point in fighting it afterwards.

why

>the player specified that his female dwarf hadn't shaved and showered in weeks.
fucking gross. and why would an adventurer shave at all? they're gonna be chafing enough as it is

>not using prestidigitation to clear away such filth like unwanted body hair
>failing that, acid spray

Holy shit that elf was ugly

I have a better use of acid spray
>Acid spray your own eyes out holy shit why

...

We were in an inn resting after a day's worth of adventuring. Throughout the whole trip they continuously made quips at each other. The human rogue apparently had a fetish for dwarfs.

So after some consideration they decided that they'd get a room together and play out their fantasy.

The DM expected lovemaking, some romantic words and awkward comedy that ensued from that.

He didn't expect that the rogue would start fingerfucking the dwarf before anyone on the table had a chance to leave the room.

>How do you keep your paladins from playing lawful stupid?
Uh, I've never had this issue?
The only paladins I've played with were either not really zealous at all, clearly playing it up for the power, or good guys, but brusque and at times offputting to deal with.
I play super nice guy paladins that have defined lines that lead to shitslapping, but always try to defuse the situation first.
The forces of darkness, however, get no such reprieve.

...

Fuck off.

At first I thought it was two dudes roleplaying a single male human rogue fingerbanging a separate female dwarf fighter.

Trust me that isn't anything near /pol/ worthy

/pol/ would call you out for not being explicit.

>point out an ugly elf
>assume it's because the elf was black
Projection, thy name is user

So what is a campaign type that feels osr or vanilla?

Need a fresh plot hook for my lvl 4 players

I just got around to reading the new UA pdf. Some of those spells seem a little strong to be cantrips, namely Toll the Dead. I don't have my books handy, so I can't really compare it to anything. And Ceremony is absolutely fucking useless.

Depends do you want them to stay where they are for a couple more levels or start exploring the world?

Reporting this post from now on

Start exploring

Ask OSR for a roll table or something.

What's the best Reach build now with all the new content?

All right anons, please rate my current players.
Lawful "We don't negotiate with terrorists" Neutral Paladin
Chaotic "I stab this bleeding out bandit with broken legs to death, no witnesses" Neutral Ranger
Chaotic "I kick the door down and yell "TOWN'S GUARD, DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND GET ON THE GROUND" Good Fighter
Chaotic "Could we please stop killing everyone and interrogate at least one person?" Good Monk

Murderhobo/10

v. human with sharshooter.

Second this

What is it with OSRfags and tables anyway?

well good to know I'm not alone with that opinion on them.
Although I'll still enjoy playing with them, the monk is pretty much the only person who stops them from becoming a wrecking ball of no survivors, just because he wants to know shit.
Also I may or may not have given them an entire ex-bandit hideout, with a personal Nothic and a Goblin to watch over the place

Is there a general guide or template to making undead versions of living things? I'm trying to make a rotting miasma dragon with some shambling dire wolf zombies around it

Threadly reminder that these sizes are canon and that's a good thing

Oathbreaker paladin with PAM and sentinel.

Just the CR guide in teh DMG.

You're gonna appreciate that 10 session from now when you're fighting the BBEG and those two get married for the +2 AC and saves and the DM runs with it because they established their relationship early

>implying that spell will ever see use at the table outside of being just in jest

Unless you start fingerbanging your party members in session 4.

To that guy, explain how a 5e demilich is comparatively more powerful than an AD&D demilich.
No shit the 3e demilich is more powerful considering it was in the fucking Epic Level Handbook but 5e has saner rules all round.

And explain how they aren't totally fine as is.

Are you fucking retarded? A white dragon wyrmling is a medium creature, so it's 5 feet long MAX. This is a more accurate scale.

>Npc: Excuse me, Eltamar the Destroyer, Scourge of Sea and Earth, Bhaalspawn, Slayer of Sarevok, Lord of the North, King Nigg...
>mfw the game has a looooong character name field

My play group lost a few people and we're down to just three of us; myself the DM and two players. We decided to start a new campaign focusing on Waterdeep, and since there are only two players I decided to let them have some extra stuff to make it more interesting. One of them owns a small cargo ship while the other owns a theater house.

This was a terrible idea. They are both entirely consumed in their own businesses and spend like 80% of their time apart from each other. The way our sessions have been going, I'll talk with one of them for 20 minutes about how their business is doing and what the character wants to do for the day, then spend another 20 minutes doing the same with the other player. Then this just goes back and forth for our 5 hour session.

The only time their characters are ever together is when I do some ridiculous ass-pull that forces them together. "Oh the magic sea compass you want is inside a cave..... that happens to be underneath the theater house." But of course that alone isn't enough to entice the theater-owner, he won't help, so I also have to add that there is also a demonic summoning circle in that cave which is threatening his theater house.

Then they'll kind of work together for one dungeon and at the end just flat out go "Okay thanks for the help, bye." And their characters go back to their own thing. I'm not sure what to do aside from just causing some catastrophe to take the business from one of them.

Wait what?
If a white dragon is medium why is it shorter than that dude's needs?

>needs

Whoops.
Meant knees.

It's a medium creature. It's 5 feet long. How else could it hide behind a table in The Sunless Citadel?

An AD&D demilich is just an invincible wraith, or sometimes just a mad dust bunny. To get the effect of the AD&D demilich, put a fucking CR 5 wraith in your ebin dungeon and see if the PCs spent 50 fruitless attacks striking it pointlessly.

If the argument is "but energy drain is killer in AD&D! ebin xD" sure, but a regular wraith is much better, as they can actually make 101 wraith spawns in AD&D. If the argument is "what if they touch it?" how do you progress that far in a dungeon where touching anything instantly kills you?

So what's the best way to use Flumphs as a DM?

Is a human a large creature if they're 6 feet tall and fall prone, and therefore can't fit in a single square?

The Monk is a little bitch.
The Ranger is simply putting a suffering bandit down, nothing wrong with that.
Pally and Fighter are by the books hardasses, I'd watch a buddy cop film about them.

Drop them on the party. Softer than rocks but it'll still keep the players on their toes.

Randomly generating everything giving that feel that not even the gm knows what will happen

The bandit was patching up his wounds with some healing salves, there was nothing life threatening, only a minor arrow wound.
Paladin has to be dragged away every time party encounters someone who wants to talk because his interaction is always *unzips morningstar*
Ranger comes to sessions drunk as fuck
Nothing against the fighter player, he's decent

No one falls down completely flat.

...

stupid and unoriginal

fart

Toll the dead is fine cause it's the same damage as poison spray, a damage type that can easily be resisted depending on campaign, and saves for nothing.

The other cantrips do less damage cause they have bonuses, firebolt is easier to hit cause you just need to beat AC, Ray or frost is same but adds slow, acid splash can hit multiple people doubles the damage.

Is it worth going Bugbear for +5 reach or V. Human to get the feat early?

Keep in mind that the Bugbear reach is only on their turn. So no mega AoOs.

you're always shoe-horning bugbears in

Anyone got any art of smugbears?

Is there a Council of Wyrms module for 5e, whether official or fanmade doesn't matter.
Or just rules for playing as dragons?

Is the Sculptor of Flesh warlock invocation worth it?

Sometimes if you can't think up of something then it helps to have tables to roll on so you can connect some dots.