Warhammer 40,000 General Thread /40kg/

How does a complete social autist find some games at a local hobby store?

I need steps

google and GW search engine, but you are aware that you'll have to interact with people to actually play right?

>TS
muh grudge
>Tau
muh damocles
>Necrons
muh dynasty
>Iron Warriors
muh iron cage
>World Eaters
MUH NAILS

The only nearby store closed down a year ago because nobody was buying anything except packets of yugioh/Pokémon cards. Most of the hobby just seems to have left this area

Step 1: go outside

Heavily Dark Eldar-themed Ynnari
>Muh edgy anti-heroes

Samus may be a tough motherfucker but shes probably only space marine tier in physical fitness, if a foot and a half shorter, with better power armour, but then again it depends on the writter

sisters of silence
>muh blanks

Dark Angels
>muh self-flagellation

Step 2?

I know a store, I know people play there. I know they are nice. I just don't know the specific approach to engage.

Reposting my list because I need some feedback on it.

>Death Guard
Muh resilience
>Admech
Muh machines
>Necrons
Muh dynasty
>Nurgle Demons
Muh laughter
>Dark Eldar
Muh torture
>Eldar Corsairs
Muh speed
>Squats
Muh rules are gone

from one socially retarded person to another its all about those first steps

everyone at game stores are usually very happy to see someone new get interested because they want to play someone different from the five regulars to the store, and the manager sees dollar signs when a new person comes in

i know it feels awkward as fuck but youre just gonna have to go in there and make yourself talk to people, probably the best thing to do is walk up to someones game and ask if you can watch, if they seem receptive ask a couple questions, pretty soon youll realize everyone there is autistic and this is some form of safe space where they can all be awkward and weird

Samus is a silly ditzy musclebimbo.

I haven't figured out the rest, once you get to the store thats as far as I've gotten. so if you figure it out be sure to post about it.

that's not how it works, you're supposed to mock the faction's VALUES, not their themes

>silly ditzy
>bimbo

Astonishingly shit taste.

She's also a half xeno mutant

>tfw won 10 to 5 vs necron player
he practically reduced my army to one third while i killed maybe five of his models

Metroid was literally my first videogame ever so i see samus as some sort of weird strong Mother figure, and therefore get bothered when people make bimbo porn of her.

to keep it on topic and avoid a b&'ing what would samus's statline be in 40k? Id say shes closer to a space marine than a 'umie since shes full of alien bird DNA

>muh autism

that's what she is, and there's no point in denying it

>Muh lovecraftian giger bugs
>Muh shadow over innsmouth in space

that's fucking weird, m8

She's not Ripley, she's a sexy spehss amazon who likes balls.

see
learn2meme

I'm sorry I didn't meme your meme the way you wanted, but you should realise it's impossible for me to give less of a shit about that.

your're just gonna have to find a store like an hour or two away and make all day trips like once or twice a month, plenty of guys at my store drive the distance, one guy drives like an hour and a half and goes twice a week

>but i'm lazy/busy/there's no game store within 2 hours

then shut the fuck up and stop bitching, we aren't gonna hold your hand, this isn't plebbit

>masters of ancient technology
>mindless hordes led by a bare handful of masterminds
>virulent sickness spreading through their ranks
>formerly plagued with infighting before united against a common enemy
>destroyed everything in rebellion against their masters

Checks out

>LOOK! LOOK HOW MUCH I DON'T CARE!
>I'm totally not embarrassed by my inability to understand the format of a basic meme!
>I'm a smarty boy!
>I'm so self-confident in my smartiness I'll show him how much I don't care by replying in a needlessly lengthy manner!

wew

>complains about people replying in a needlessly lengthy manner
>by replying with a post double the length
What is this autism

This guy comes to your battleground at GW and wants to join in with his

>Ultramares

How do you react, Veeky Forums?

I think it's time to stop posting. What you're saying doesn't look the way you think it does. If you were more self-aware you'd be embarrassing yourself.

>square bases

Sorry mate i dont make the rules

I'm pretty sure the store would laugh him out the door if he brought those in. Not to mention if it's at a GW store the manager might ask him to use real GW models and not rainbow ponies,

Much better modelling and painting than 90% of players I'd play him.

>commando warrior woman
>operates advanced power armour developed by a dead race and does her own maintenance on it
>outsmarts advanced super computer, twice
>kills massive monsters by exploiting weaknesses
>is able to steal and integrate alien tech into her suit by herself
>saves entire planet/galaxy multiple times, solo
>bimbo

WS3 BS5 S4 T4 W3 I3 A2
tons of unique wargear and at least a 3+

I wasn't complaining about the length of your post, just pointing out that it proves that you lied, that you're embarrassed, and that you're a pussy.

It's not a complaint, it's a mockery. I'm making fun of your bitch ass.

Go up, ask "hey are you playing warhammer?" when you see them playing, "cool. I'm user, I'd like to get into 40k, can you tell me about it?" and the rest will come naturally since they really, really want new players they will be friendly.

Or if you already have your army, come into the store with it, go over to the 40k table, "hey is this 40k?" "cool, I'm a new player, I brought my army with me, does anyone want to play a beginner game and show me the ropes?" and again they will be friendly and want to play.

Remember they're all gonna be nerds like you with varying degrees of autism and if you look and smell ok they'll want to be friends.

>Expecting me to play anything that aren't on the base they're supposed to have
I couldn't care less about the ponyshit but you have to at least follow the basic rules.

You think wrong, bitch boy.

Maybe you should stick to /b/, that's where meme-impaired newfags usually hang out.

>square bases
Really though he'd just be laughed out the store for being a cringey sperglord.

Even amongst fellow autists there is a further caste of autism so powerful that the standard fa/tg/uy cannot handle it. This is a perfect example.

>rectangle bases
>REEEEEEEEEE

I'm not whoever you were responding to but ok.

Look urgently at friend across from me and say

"Sorry, this is supposed to be our last game."

Then just don't leave and hope he finds his way.

She's a space orphan turned mercenary that's almost completely broken thanks to being raised by severely autistic aliens and experiencing a solitary life of near constant violence.

Kooky, ditzy people don't walk onto SR388 and start the genocide.

Oh wow so you made an ass of yourself entirely without provocation by clumsily misinterpreting a post that wasn't even addressed to you.

Follow this advice:

Lied about what?

>meme-impaired
you're taking this too seriously, you tried to start a shitty meme and it didn't work out, move on.

We know she uses her free hand to access panels, but does that mean everyone in the universe is left handed?

explain this then.

Samus is a total ditz.

>tfw you're totally OC meme never done by anyone else on this site is derailed by one sperglord looking for (you)'s autistically screeching at everyone

No, I was just pointing out that your post was double his' length. That's all.

Morty

>All 7, I 6, T 8, ld 10
>FMC
>Standard Primarch rules
>Poison 2+ S+2 AP2 weapon
>Big Template Poison 2+ AP2
>FnP
>That FnP trait
>While on table, reduce T of all units by 1, units with MoN gain +1T instead
>500pts

Y/N?

I still have a PROMOTIONS! Broidlord on the 40mm round base it came with, and i know the new one utilizes an oval base. Do the rules dictate me rebasing the model if i want to use it?

I didn't, I just pointed out that you all sucked at it, and apparently that triggers you, cause you also take memes seriously enough to get offended when people correct you on your use of memes.

You somehow felt offended when I mocked the other hypocritical douche who very transparently pretended he didn't care , so you made a dumb post, and I'm making you aware of it so that you don't make an ass of yourself next time this situation comes up.

That's my little service to you. No need to thank me, but it'd still be a normal show of common courtesy.

anyone think well see new nids anytime soon/ that they wont suck in 8th edition

>that T lowering and raising rule
S6 blinking SMs and S4 blinking guard
>entire nurgle marine army becomes T6 or higher
>only 500 pts
literally the most OP shit ever

Yeah, no, that's not what you did, you were using the length of my post as a bullshit way of contradicting it, under the false claim that I was "complaining about the length" of the previous post.

That's what you did, and as I pointed out, it's retarded.

Maybe you should admit it.

guys just stop responding to him, he just wants attention

Nah I mostly just want to see you all admit your faults of reasoning, and to properly use memes.

or, failing that, to fuck off back to /b/ with all the other newfags.

You don't even have to give me (You)s for that, just admit you made a bunch of stupid posts and that you're embarrassed of having made them, despite your clumsy attempts to state the opposite.

>explain this
Ancillary comic tie in that gets made for just about any product created in japan. Typically a loose collection of gags to contrast the actual product and make the most of the brief nature of the four-panel medium.

In the official comic she gets space PTSD after watching a dragon kill and eat her parents.

The bigger question is why do space pirate consoles allow non-pirate personnel to access them freely. You'd think they'd have some kind of physical cover after the first few break-ins.

Can anyone redpill me about Age of Sigmar?
Haven't played Fantasy for a long while and need some unbiased, non-Sigmar fanboy opinions, whether to start playing Fantasy again.

i would say that's not a big deal but i played french horn for years and my dad is left handed

Oh don't worry, the time is nigh...

I wanted him to be super durable model that just sits there and makes things go in your favor.

He is also not really good against vehicles. Either way, Toughness manipulation seemed like the best way to convey how he spreads super poison that harms enemies and helps his dudes. I thought about having him has big AoE where enemies have to constantly roll Poison damage, but that would be a lot of rolling.

>redpill me

AoS is actually a massive jewish conspiracy preparing to enact the white genocide and turn all white men gay

but seriously AoS is totally nothing like fantasy, the rules are free on GWs website, they are honestly a lot less archaic than WHFB, give it a read

>Redpill

Something something Jews cuck ect.

>Tell me about.

Horrible launch, recovered a bit with the General's handbook patch but still ultimately a very flawed ruleset (you can do good simplified rulesets, this is not one of them.) and scales up poorly.

>going to the /40kg/ and asking to be readpilled on a game system most people here hate or have never played

there is a sigmar general, why dont you go ask them about it? they will be a lot less biased

>AoS is actually a massive jewish conspiracy preparing to enact the white genocide and turn all white men gay
I fucking knew it! I'm gonna go buy a water filter first thing in the morning. Any good filter merchants out there?

Tyranids
>muh chaos is boring muh abaddon is boring muh stupid space cockaroachs that are actually the most boring thing about 40k should be the main big bads and muh unironically think the swarmlord is good and should be the main bad guy of 40k even though he ruins tyranid fluff and I understand nothing about 40k lore or 40k as a setting and muh muh muh

wut
I didn't want to risk being influenced by people who love the game undyingly.

trust me everyone on a general is not biased towards the game

just look at this one, half the people here hate 40k or haven't played it since 3.5, i could list off ten reasons why you shouldn't play 40k right now despite jacking off to the game and lore daily

Normie thing like PF and MTG are popular around here, but the only 40k group consists of NEETs and retirees who only play during the day.

>no tutorial on painting guilliman
;_;

>no shopped picture of Alex Jones with 40k aesthetics on google images

i'm disappointed guys

>unironically think the swarmlord is good
There literally only one guy on Earth who thinks that and it's this faggot

have you really not seen the nidfag on here you says shit like there are nids that are primarch levels because they're so highly evolved?

he probably thinks the swarmlord should have horus's statline and abilities

>Watch Ultramarine's tutorial
>Add more gold
>watch tutorials for finer, unique details

Just because there isn't a specific tutorial for Papa Smurf doesn't mean that it doesn't show you how to paint smurfs

t.bh Necrons and tyrannids are two fantastic faction lore-wise but godamn do they need new models

theres one in the white dwarf stupid idiot

8th ed melee, charging unit gets initiative.

>no jes design video for king smurf
WHERE IS IT

IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE THE LAST HERO VIDEO THING

>have you really not seen the nidfag on here
I mentally filter shit I see here. It makes browsing more enjoyable.
>he probably thinks the swarmlord should have horus's statline and abilities
Swarmlord a shit. Only people lacking good judgement and taste think otherwise

Daddy Duncan did a tutorial on the sword, hair, and armour, which is like 90% of the model

Jes only cares about indulging in his fetish for Eldar feet.

>friend shows me a model
>"yea, I spend a lot of time on it "
>lighter colors are runny
>thicc in areas
>little to no highlighting
>gratuitous Nuln oil
>"looks good, man"
>mfw

I'm likely too autistic to offer advice without sounding harsh.

Looking forward to

>elfdar always strike first

Ask both, and split the difference.

>worried about pansies in combat
>da boss has been lookin for youz