Would Centaurs make good couriers?

I like this post.

Though I guess it loses shine in modern settings, because you can ship anything pretty much anywhere, because amazing infrastructure.

Centaurs would be more effective in the inner city though. They could probably successfully argue the right to use cycle lanes. In the country they'd get beat out be delivery trucks, it's in the high density cities that slow traffic and couriers down that they'd perform the best. Though there may be some Centaur Courier vs Cyclist Courier hate going on.

You don't have slices of sausage the same way you have slices of pepperoni but thiccer?
(though pepperoni is a sausage anyway, but that's beside the point)

Not better then cars, but probably better drivers.

>Literally never happens

Quit eating shitty pizza.

>and doesn't remotely resemble anything in the drawing besides.

This, you have a point on. The circles are clearly pepperonis.

I think those are supposed to be whole strips of bacon like the duder before me said. Why there are whole strips of bacon on a pizza, I don't know, but maybe the artist just didn't know what a "Pepperoni and bacon pizza" meant.

Also that centaur is cute.

>angry hipsters shrieking in city hall about all the horse shit in the cycling lane

>Could be sausages.
Centaur delivery service can used anyone, if you're not fast courier, there's... other options.

>literally never happens
Domino's literally offers sliced sausage as a topping.

>I'd also imagine some would form several Messenger's Coalition to leverage for a consistent pricing rate and pay for horseshoes.

The biggest expense of horses is not horseshoes but food, boarding and clothing fees.

I'd imagine a centaur to require even more food and better accommodations then horses considering they are fully sentient and sapient beings thus they probably need something resembling a proper bed and well insulated and heated stables to rest and sleep at as well as functioning latrines to do their business in, as well as bathroom and grooming facilities to better accommodate their physiology

Biologically they probably have both a human and horse stomach and going by Narnia's centaur feeding habits, they have to eat human food to fill their human stomachs as well as horse food to fulfill their horse diet. Assuming the two bodies have different metabolic rates due to their separate dietary intake, the upper body would probably require more frequent caloric intake in order to ensure optimal performance.

Not to mention the enormous amount of fabric required to weave winter coats, jackets and capes to cover a centaur's upper and lower torsos through rain, snow and all manner of bad weather conditions.

Everyone knows that birds would be the ultimate couriers.

I was assuming a non-modern setting, possibly traditional fantasy, since that's he only time courier would really be viable. Plus, when it comes to fantasy setting couriers, I've always preferred Parkour/Free-Running type couriers, which I'd imagine Halflings or similar would be pretty good at.

>-good- pizza has slices!
>Dominoes has slices!

Make up your mind faggots

They'd make interesting couriers, but good?
If horses are relevant to move around, they can't ride one to death and switch to an other mount, so they'd be out of the most intense jobs.

obviously the best couriers are skeletons

>give them blades and swap out human skeletal feet with monkey feet/hands
>instruct them to rotate their torsos rapidly while holding blades all the out horizontal to the ground
>grab and release packages using their skeletal monkey feet
>Airskeleton delivery service is in business

>A chain pizza store realizes it can make more money by mimicking the traditional toppings of good pizza despite using their shitty low quality ingredients
-Good pizza uses high quality ingredients

Why are you so assblasted about differences between the people making your artery clog pie? confusednigger.jpg

Carrier Pidgeon, can confirm.

Here you go user.

I could see it working in Shadowrun.

>Rural area with high density enclaves-- Think apartment blocks + workshops + perimeter wall
>Dangerous paracritters that ARE still animals and WILL still fuck off from a charging horse
>Go-gangers on the paved roads with motorcycles and SMGs
>Generally shitty quality of 4x4's all around, and parafauna that can fuck a vehicle right up
>Orders are made via the Matrix, which is all wireless and in those communities would be sat-linked anyway.

...

Is a human eating a centaur still considered cannibalism?

I have the benefit of living in Chicago but do people seriously not put full slices of Bacon on their pizzas?

Don't know about pizza delivery but they can easily replace most Usps mail carriers

>chicago

The correct term for ingredients in relation to casserole is "in"
Bacon in your casserole.

No, because biting cleanly through a slice of bacon that's not overcooked fucking sucks and winds up shifting the toppings on the pizza.

Then again, Chicago pizzas are edible, but they're not fucking pizza. They're a heaping pile of tomato-y shit on top of a couple of crackers. I can see why you wouldn't give a flying fuck about the structural integrity of a proper pizza.

Not as far as I know, and I live in Texas, where you'd expect this kind of thing

Probably. I mean, it's technically not by the actual definition of cannibalism, but I'd expect the same taboo against it to apply to other sapient species anyway.

>on top of a couple of crackers
Go to New York if you want to eat thin pizza. This here is Deep Dish country.

>Bacon in your casserole.
Thank you for the correction.

Its Cross-Sapient Cannibalism

No, just like a nonhuman sapient being eating a human isn't cannibalism.
It's still morally wrong, but way less likely to fuck you up biologically.

Yes, and deep dish country fucking sucks. So does New York Pizza, because it's a single large cracker with nothing smeared on top.

The Chicago/New York rivalry falls flat when I've had far better pizza in Denver than in either city. Why?

BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY QUALIFIED AS A PIZZA YOU STUPID NIGGER!

At least you can HAVE actual pizza.
I'm stuck with Chain Delivery and nothing else

That, admittedly, is a complete fucking bummer.

>Why?
Because you go to the meme pizza shops instead of finding the lesser known shops? It's like people coming out here and getting Garrett's popcorn and thinking that's the best Chicago has to offer.

That being said never been to Denver and never had what you consider pizza over there? Any recommendations?

>always drunk
>always looking for a fight
>natural aversion to following orders
Hell no

FUCK now I want pizza.

Pineapple
Chunks

question, how fragile horses are?
because if courier is a centaur, it could matter.

Pretty damn fragile in the leg region, but a large part of that comes from how damn stupid horses as animals are.

Depends on the breed. If its something like Clydesdale, then it won't be too bad.
>post yfw a Clydesdale Centaur girl goes around delivering booze

Can centaurs drive cars, Veeky Forums? I don't see why not, but I can't picture it.

>order from Taur Pizza
>they're late
>drunken, belligerent delivery girl
every fucking time

>Italian stallion

kay, thanks, so stupid centaur could be very dead centaur?

Not a fan personally, but to each their own.

Well... Potentially. More likely it'd be "A stupid centaur could be a very crippled centaur that has to spend entirely too much time suspended in a sling-type thing."

We frequently kill horses when they break their legs because it's goddamn near impossible to heal that in a stupid fucking horse, and we just don't care enough to try. I figure that would change in the case of centaurs.

I am fairly certain that is not a stallion.

I read a manga called A Centaur's life that had specific cars for them. It's actually pretty neat with world building overall

>kill crippled horses
yeah i know about that, that is the reason why i asked originally

Halflings would be the worst at freerunning. Their limbs are tiny. Elves or whatever tall race you have would be far better at it.

>cyborg centaurs in the streets like drrrrRRRRRrrrrRRRRRrrRRRRRrrrrRRRR

youtube.com/watch?v=arIJm2lAfR8#t=50s

Well, in that case, you probably already figured out your answer was "It depends on if the horse part or the person part is the important part as far as other people are concerned."

nah, i am dumb, i have anons to think for me.

...As cool as that thing is, there are just so few situations I could see a gas engine powering legs carrying a load to be more useful than a damn four wheeler.

(Or, more accurate to the price, a fleet of four wheelers.)

You know. Horse shoes are becoming outdated. So I imagine centaurs wouldn't need to use horse shoes but rather some alternative and possibly fashionable alternative.

youtube.com/watch?v=oZLF_pNTdKk

>clip on horse shoes
these seem like a really neat idea as it lets the horse have better mobility and shit.

They might be onto something

This thread made me wonder about playing a centaur in shadowrun. Quadruped animals have limitations and shadowrun seems like the only real issue would be in vehicles.

>also cows are poorly designed creatures
they just can't go down stairs and I feel sorry for the poor fuck that found that out.

No.

Humans would do better just by riding horses. This applies to all distances. They also don't need you to rebuild every single building they need to enter to accommodate them.

Over longer distances, humans would just be vastly superior., as they can simply swap horses as they grow tired. Heck, even unmounted humans are better over long-distance.

Centaurs in general are just shit and not useful for anything. Anything they can do, a human with a horse can do better. A human with two horses can do it much better. If ancient humans ever encountered them, they'd exterminate most the centaurs and steal their lands, keeping maybe a few alive for zoos and the arena and such where they can go to look at the disgusting freaks and make fun of them.

Which raises the question how a centaur would feel about humans eating horsemeat. Would she be offended? Or would she see it in the same way a human would view a centaur eating a great ape (gross but harmless)? Or do some centaurs themselves eat horsemeat?

This may not be the right board for you, user.

Everybody needs to be exposed to the gospel of man's superiority above all. It's thankless work, but someone has to do it.

>If ancient humans ever encountered them, they'd exterminate most the centaurs and steal their lands

I mean, you're vastly overestimating how much bronze and iron age tech benefits did. If centaurs had slings, humans wouldn't have *reached* that period anywhere short of bitter mountains or heavily forested heavily hilled regions.

>Shadowrun vehicle
Depends on the Rigger.

Uparmored SUVs are a common go-to in the game, so worrying about them being strong enough to handle a 'Taur is no worry.

Now, think of the possibilities. Imagine an armored up horse trailer behind it with a minigun. Depending on the job, might be a good way to haul other big things around.

Also, a thought: Silage was made by ancient Greeks and Egyptians. For us, this would be the equivalent of chunky oatmeal that stores goddamn near forever because it's fermented. Unpleasant to eat and liable to leave you with the shits, but otherwise perfectly fine.

Don't forget how much food storage techniques would matter in a fantasy domination war.

I like the idea of playing the centaur as a long distance runner. One reason why I don't like the idea of playing a taur period is their low population. Seems like it'd really stand out in the shadow community.

>long distance runner

Depends on how "long distance" you want and over what period. Healthy, athletic humans can outrun horses over a long enough span-- And that's measured as, like, "36 fucking hours."

Granted, centaurs would probably have a far higher base BOD stat in Shadowrun, and their sheer mass would mean they could armor up and run through unreinforced doors/light walls.

People evolved to be long distance runners but horses are faster, just how fast depends on the breed of centaur. A mustang taur vs Clydesdale taur. Deer/Elk taur?

There's an article about a guy that out ran special forces simply by using a shit ton of meth over 3 days.

cracked.com/article_19492_the-5-most-badass-tales-wartime-survival.html

Ever read a Louis L'amour novel? Westerns focus a lot on the neat shit horses do. Like killing snakes, finding water if you just let them, finding other horses that are being used by outlaws.

A centaur seems like it'd be useful going cross country...just not in the sixth world.

Dude, just make your own pizza

Sup Veeky Forums

Sup.

Got any good recipies for pizza? All I got was one for a DMC themed pizza from some tumblr page I never tried out.

congrats OP

You made a thread about centaurs. Now its a thread about centaurs and Pizza.

i'm comfortable with this.

I think that's rather obvious, but I really want to know if they would make good waifus

What kind of setting would feature both delivery centaurs and a citywide pneumatic tube system? Centaurs are probably the way to go for smallish packages or anything that needs to be hand-delivered, the tube system gets used for inter-city telegrams, and the regular postal system has a mix of humans and centaurs.

(For the sake of argument, let's say that the city has been inhabited by humans and centaurs for centuries, so most buildings can accommodate both.)

Isn't it hard to make a good pizza using a normal kitchen? Don't you need high temperatures or some kind of special oven?

>A centaur wearing a skirt would just cover up her entire horse half.

>Isn't it hard to make a good pizza using a normal kitchen? Don't you need high temperatures or some kind of special oven?

Yes and no. If you want genuine old school pizza, you need an oven that can crank out BTU's far in excess of what any domestic electric or gas range can produce. For the most of us though, a pizza stone (which you can get from a hardware store for cheap, just get an unglazed pottery stone, avoid cooking shop markup shit) does just fine.

Okay guys, yay or nay
>Pesto instead of tomato sauce
>Alfredo instead of tomato sause
>no sause, just olive oil and maybe some garlic

>no sause
I've had Pizza in Italy and this is something I did notice. Whereas Chicago-style is a lot of sauce, and various other flat styles of American Pizza have moderate to low amounts of sauce, Italian pizza is very sparse on flavored sauces.

That being said it made their pizza pretty bland by comparison, although I wager it's healthier for you.

That's because originally Pizza (and the dish it was derrived from, Pankous), have been around from before the importation of tomatoes from the Americas, and it was more expensive to get it there, so they preferred to use it rather as a light base to mix in herbs with rather than as a flavor foundation.

Hence why American pizzas tend to have a strong reliance on saucy flavors, while this Pizza I had from a Sicilian place I once visited instead was mostly herbs with very little sauce.

Personally, I hate just about anything with tomatoes and tomato based products, so its no big loss to me