ITT Explain Your Current Campaign Plot Badly

>Bard heavily invests in landscaping to cockblock a paladin

four broke people sail around getting drunk and taking peoples' money

>Give history's most dangerous people a time machine with no supervision, what could go wrong?

>A cucked vampire can't get over his oneitis for five hundred years.

Good-guy shadowrunners rescue half-human-half-supercomputer, make deal with dragon, fuck themselves over more than even I can believe is possible

>Confused Man and angry chicks shoot people in the gut for offering unsolicited ideas.

>Entire castle is moved from ancestral lands because of the price of fresh fruit

>Charming percussion enthusiast wrongly accused of being the wrong color.

>make deal with dragon

>A really creepy girl, a bounty hunter, an idiotic homeless man, a rich attractive lesbian and a very bad lab assistant bumble their way through mysteries that a retarded monkey could solve.

Posting a bunch of my campaigns:


>Muscular crazy animal lady goes on a road trip to put a stop to a squabble between demons.


>Guy breaks into a guy's house to kill him, sees what's in his basement, and becomes blind: he gets a kobold to help him to get through his plans of major location makeover.


>Young rich girl decides to escape home to prove she can do everything by herself: she ends up asking everyone's help.


>Pervert gets accidentally involved in a squabble between an orderly gentleman and a bunnygirl: he ends up being transferred and having to find his way back home.


>Socially akward guy meets a clueless guy: they discover to be related and decide to kill their scientist mom.


>Bunch of misfits go to try to resolve a mystery involving birds and lizards: in the process one ends wearing a furry mask, one surrounds himself with boars and engine oil, one discovers that there isn't anything more natural than greed, and a guy gets a perma-drunk horse to ride

>video game dungeon in video game ttrpg because i was tired of people calling the edition a video game

A cranky old man and a corrupt theatre director help a barbarian try on a variety of ethnic hats. None of the hats disguise their criminal activity.

>Mute caveman wonders why there are so many snakes in the world

>Lesbian in denial trying to save her female friend who has been brainwashed by an evil witchqueen.

> random dudes were driven by different reasons to the far away continent. There, they try to settle down their past while giants are starting to revolt, an ancient wizard is looking for the power that will ascend him to lichdom (destroying everything in his way) and the biggest country is starting his expansionist war campaign.

>Wizard wants to kill the gods, then fuck them, then resorts to fuck demihumans instead

That actually explains the plot pretty well, though.

Caravan guards try desperately to keep a dead dragon buried

>The USSR, the Undead Skeletal Socialist Republic

>What is Ukraine?

An asshole with the worst jack in the box ever enlists the help of a freak and some weirdos to steal back the keys to her house.

Frenchman shoots some guys; party hunts him down for being French.

Goblins bully 3 fighters, a rogue and a cleric

Weird pirates look for treasure. Weirder pirates pursue them.

5 people trust everyone they meet.

Laffin like a tard

7 Canadian weirdos and a goose fight the illuminati. all are psychics.

paladin kills every person cleric loves in the name of justice while rogue and bard laugh

Dwarfs won game of Civ V via Economic victory on dungeon planet- fuck up monetary values so that Eletrcum is now the common currency and exchanges with gold at a 2-1 ratio. Now Diablo III, but with HP and MP potions.

Kill Me

>dogshit falls from the tree and so a wizard destroys humanity

This kind of thread doesn't really work because we don't really have any context for what it would be like to describe the campaign plot well

>Wizard turns into a Lich because he doesn't like the weather

>Amnesiac princess, Luck mage, half-orc berserker, rogue (who's transitioning to samurai), mountain man, and wizard travel through a xenophobic realm looking for a city that might not exist
>fucking shit up the entire way there
>meanwhile, butterfly-faced bad guy chases them and watches their every move

>Giants go full "KILL WHITEY" and start fucking around with the normal races

>make deal with dragon
doesn't it say in the blurb on the back of the cover
>never make a deal with a dragon

>Fuck dragonBorn

They Sided with Uthgardt in FR and the dragonborn in the party seems okay with that

>literal mist is sick of your shit

>David Bowie helps the party repair antique jewelry.

Some heroes get forced into the hunger games and then stop an attention whore from nuking too many cities

>Lonely loser searches for people to play games with

>Mr.Skellington ruins everything

An anti slavery Dio Brando harasses a bunch of borderline sociopath airship pirates who literally cannot stop making horrible deals.

>The girl made a pact with a demon for magical powers, but didn't expect the rising suffering this caused around her and now tries to find a way to free herself from the curse.

>Racist friends sass their way through everything that can't be solved by violence
Also
>The elves did 9/11

>The elves did 9/11
Didn't they?

>>The elves did 9/11

They public need to know this.

A crew of 8 up and coming Shadowrunners are seized by a form of collective insanity, promptly start laying the groundwork to stick their dicks in the largest meat grinder they can find. Hilarity and pink Mohawks ensue.

Sorcerer and Bard set off to combat evil and fuck everything in creation. Paladin and squire come along for damage control.

Drama, suspense, and hijinks ensue.

Mysterious force stealing all the elf slaves, what do?

Druid tries to stop a warlock from poisoning the lands while the ranger drinks himself into stupor

Inquisitorial Farce or: How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Exterminatus

>Bisexual supremacist dragonborn composed of a gone insane shaman/barbarian and bisexual hyperslut ranger, faux shota wizard with cancer and shewolf of the SS adventure to save the world

Purge the elves while they are weak.

> Some teens and young 20-somethings discover some really sweet (and some really awful) vacation spots and start fighting over rocks.

Boku no hero except sexual intercourse between students

Deathwatch save a planet, foiling Chaos plans... By blowing up a significant chunk of it after finding Men of Iron.

>Group of thieves upturn local art gallery, accidentally a prince into the Shadow Realm

>Samurai try fixing local curse, end up killing their own parents

>Just literally watch Yojimbo

>Just literally watch Seven Samurai

>Party finds local coven of magic lesbians, murder local cheesemaker for his bed

>Hotel staff become Shadowrunners after their old watering hole gets bombed for no reason

Pic somewhat related: My fuckin' group in a nutshell.

curse of strahd for 500 bob

>It's the !NotUnderdark, but above ground!

>Prince Daddy Issues takes issue with mismanagement of medical funding, has autistic fit and ruins everything for everyone

Shadowrunners accidentally make a Horizon pop star who is secretly a blood mage start teasing them by kidnapping their waifus for the giggles while she tries to blow up a dragon.

>Ancient god-kings return from extra-dimensional vacation, neighbourhood has gone to hell. They make it worse.

>Mute caveman wonders why there are so many snakes in the world

or

>Cavegirl herbalist is delighted to kinda turn into a bird

>Immigrant finds unsteady employment following troupe of literal and figurative clowns.

>1984 but in space and fuck the man so we blew up a moon or something.
Stars without number is fun.

>Party travels the world searching for artifacts while an edgy JRPG elf and his self esteem squad try to do the same

>magic obsessed historian and shady sorcerer get bossed around by absentee paladin while trying to keep their pet mimic safe

Not him, but in my current Shadowrun campaign, 3 out of the 5 party members are trying to bed the local dragon
And one of them might actually do it, if die soon after
This is why you don't disclose your Dragons' gender.

>nun fights tentacle monsters
>corporate idiots build a bond-villain skull-fortress, try to fight God
>can I make a computer high?

>American in UK social politics pvp game spends entirety of campaign sending soldiers to just shoot people instead of investigate them

>Bard convinces party to spend more time on her personal sidequest than the actual campaign

Details?

>Immortal hobo seduces a crazy druid and bros it up with a pimp bard to find his pants, among other things.

>teenage river-monster dwells under bridge, gets magical mystery makeover
>giovanni throws money, ghosts and angry letters at her problems, never shows up in person
>braindamaged spider exists, is very confused
>screw the rules, I have vicissitude
>ghost watergate tapes

>Party goes to Home Depot to buy clothes.

>Drow derails campaign so she can make a dragon like her

>scribe to the gods forgets what he wrote down

Last session:

>Sciencehobo and murder hobo bring new friend to rescue a plant

>Muder-chicken is uninterested in evil gods, eats baddies.
>sickly nun & pals hop from planet to plant causing apocalypses
>magical teenagers fight corporation, wish they were snogging
>party can't decide if they want to build a train
>rich people bicker, also there are atrocities that they don't try very hard to stop
>bird is the word. So is 'ug'.

>Also the new friend is blind.

>Team of Supers are sent on continuous suicide missions by the Hero Association after earning an irredeemable reputation for incalculable collateral damage in major population centers on several continents and the murders of: david bowie, jesus christ, several company sales representatives, the world's last surviving reverse centauricorns, a team of reformed super villains, and numerous others.

>pirate cleric's daughterfu is a radio to god(s). He has to run errands to establish renaissance NATO.

Short intro campaign for new players that now must become long intro campaign.

Former hero bard and a group of other yahoos get flung just far enough into the future so an evil man can become a god and the bard's spawn can screw everything up.

>Local Lich invests in schools and welfare organizations to defeat the forces of Good

>two embattled PCs in a dungeon meatgrinder rectruit new players to act as cannon-fodder for the protagonists. GM chuckles, and does nothing to stop this.

Does your campaign happen in ancapistan

>Sorceror sells soul to sleep with two sisters, pact entity not amused when debtor comes calling.

>Paladins and Boats: How to Not Die When on the Open Ocean.

>Devils thinks it is clever, gets to enjoy holy water boarding

All in the same campaign.

A german, a russian and australian have problems with sand while delivering wooden crates.

>deathstroke bad copy, a swarm of half assed mechanical insects, a mutant that believe in the benefits of poisons, a Man that have insomnia and nightmare problems to share and another Man with iron umbrellas into his arms are caught up by an ancient ploy of a shut in vampire that consist in him being run over by an entire city driven by a spoiled brat and his retarded brothers.

>Lich tries to kill gods to reboot the world while Kenku PC fucks a naga NPC

>Mailmen go to fantasy 'Nam

>the world's worst lawyer successfully cuts deal with demon, rides airship with other shmucks, performs a 21 Jump Street/Stardust Crusaders infiltration

No, but the Lich is sick of his doomsday plans being interrupted by orphans-turned-murderhobos and podunk farmer's sons every 30 years or so, so he's set up government funded schools and orphanages to allow him to more easily keep an eye on any potential hero material springing up in his backyard.

Depending on the case, he'll either arrange for them to receive a scholarship in the fields where they show promise (a comparitively small expense compared to, say, replacing a legion of skeleton warriors and career necromancers), treating them to a life of blissful ignorance in the upper middle class of their society where they're less likely to become disenfranchised revolutionaries...or have them quietly murdered in their sleep.

>Nazi scientist murders entire crew after breaking into a house and watching a child be murdered by a bed. Is later committed.

>Sheepadin falls in love with rouge who collects 'taxes', smites the undead, annoying dwarf is also present, the alchemist is just Snape.

>Desk jocky intimidates Quetzalcoatl into not being an asshole, is best friends with ancient cheorke bird-god and OWLMAN as a result

>Gary Stu fights the zombie apocalypse by allying with vampires, ends up with various Venereal diseases.

>Drunken bear mauls the captain of a ship, becomes quartermaster and fist fights bowser after discovering he is in fact a bear.

>Two inept fucks kill a dragon by throwing a weasel and a snake at it. No fatalities. Later murdered by a single goose.

>Ye Olde Dragon Force invades a small kingdom with the power of rock. Are challenged by Ozzy Osborn and Slash.

>Insane Gnome becomes the mini boss for the forest temple while the rest of the party does literally nothing. Becomes addicted to cocaine as a result.

>Venezuela is conquered several times, by fire, zombies, and magical girls. Europe is disintegrated by a love sick moron, the Boulder depopulates the Mediterranean with killer bees.

>small children find a hellmouth, nuke the other side, and befriend the cowmodillos that survived.

>Random kids befriend giant dinosaurs, start mutating into kinda dinosaurs, start a war with different kinda dinosaurs

It's Persona 4 but even shittier.

should be
>settlers fight giants and liches

>Maybe taking the family van out Shadowrunning is a bad idea.
>Maybe installing a dating sim with a bad Russian crack into a braindead girl was a bad idea.
>Maybe we shouldn't have done both of these.

Female Protagonists literally cannot stop sucking dick in a galaxy far far away.

>amnesiac retard saves the day by not being able to handle his liquor

>oh fuck everybody is stupid and we caused the apocalypse