You creep your way into the cave, keeping your blade at your side

>You creep your way into the cave, keeping your blade at your side.
>This was the place, the Grand Jewel you seek is here, the mystic and unique gemstone for your quest, and no doubt guarded by some foul beast.
>You move from Shadow to shadow, until you see a faint glow... a glittering of gold and gems.
>and a dragoness, sitting atop it, munching on the jewels like snacks.
>You run out, and she looks over, bored, as she pops another clawful of jewels into her maw... and the Grand Jewel you seek!
"NO!" You shout.
>She gulps it down in surprise and looks at this adventurer, curious.
"Well well! A guest! Have you come to slay me, or perhaps you seek treasure? Or maybe you were just curious what a dragoness looked like up close, hmm?" She asks.

Well, fa/tg/uys.
What do you do?

I feel like this a reference to somthing...

...somthing I probably wouldn't like.

No purposeful reference, just a scenario that some on Veeky Forums may find entertaining.

It seems almost like a reference to the old meme of Flare.

Veeky Forums has a bad history when it comes to badly drawn cartoon dragons.

Does the jewel do something or is it just a jewel?

I feed the dragon some laxitives and wait for my shit

You gotta smite all the evil son.

>Literally

Stop injecting your horrible fetishes into the game. I'm going to punch you.

There's only one solution, make it so she believes that skinny currently considered extremely attractive to dragonkind, so much so that she resorts to puking to lose weight.

>I put on my robe (of acid resistance) and wizard hat
Time for some spelunking

Kill the dragon.
Take the jewel.
It's not hard to remember, you fucks.

>unfortunately the dragon doesn't like this plan
>after defeating her in combat, you have to tie her down and wedge her mouth open to get inside
>she does at least stop struggling when you point out that most adventurers would have cut their way in

Rape the dragon.

On the bright side flarefag fucked off to /mlp/ to bug them for a few years.

put the latex gloves on and use the power of tentacle arms

Which type of dragon? This is important.

If red or black: kill it.
If green or blue: knock it out.
If white or gold: explain that the jewel is very important and ask permission to retrieve it.

>"Damnit I needed that gemstone."

"Oh. Well...that's awkward. Dragons are physically incapable of throwing up."

>"Like horses?"

"No, horses are like us. We came first."

>"Fair enough. And I'm guessing that the other way 'round isn't an option either for various biological reasons."

"I'm afraid so. Sorry. What did you need it for?"

>"There's this mercenary company I need to hire in order to reclaim my kingdom from my usurping brother, but they'll only join my side if I gave them that jewel."

"I see, that does sound serious. Hmm...I wonder if perhaps the mercenary company might be persuaded by some other means. Such as, say, a dragon threatening to immolate them."

>"Maybe. Seems to me that a dragon might be of help against my usurping brother, too."

"Indeed! And it has been awhile since I left this cave. Tell you what, when we win, swear to send me a tribute of gold and gemstones for a hundred years afterwards. Say, a tithe. Ten percent of your tax income. And send your children, and they send their children and so on, to tutor under me from ages ten to fifteen, for the same hundred years. I'll teach them history, rhetoric, sociology, geography, and probably a fair bit of magic, too, if they have a talent for it."

>"That sounds fair. I accept."

That sounds absolutely faggy shit.

>not banging her
0/10

Really showing how new I am but... who is Flarefag?

>Threatening to punch someone over the internet
>Purposely entering thread with content you don't like, for the sole purpose of Saying you don't like it.
>Getting mad at some random fag on the internet because he made a post that possibly implies a fetish you hate.
>Bumping his thread

Hoo boy, you're a special one.

Newfag detected

>white dragons not Chaotic Evil retards
What shitty edition are you playing

SLAY THE VILE SCALY WENCH AND CLAIM THE GEM FROM HER FALLEN REMAINS. DELIVER IT TO THE HIGH SEPTUM IN THE NAME OF THE GODS.

>when user doesn't get the reference and actually thinks we're laughing with him, not at him

Gunshow Comics, "magical realm", to the googles forth-haste!

>What shitty edition are you playing
I'm not attacking this monster.

Oh, hey Khorne, Long time no see.

In Zarus' name.

The only dragons I know of that are known to eat gemstones are the dragons from small horse show.

Just saying....

Nah my dude. Gold dragons are known to eat gems and pearls. Nice to see you know more about cartoon horses than dnd though.

I make eye contact with the DM and start laughing as loudly and insultingly as I can. Then I stand up, pick up my shit and moonwalk back to the door without breaking eye contact or stop laughing until I'm out.

Forgot pic

Don't ask, don't tell.

That's nice, sweetie.

>On the bright side flarefag fucked off to /mlp/ to bug them for a few years.
That's ominously familiar.

...

You're a special kind of special aren't you?

Seems like you're a stormtrooper and the joke is clearly plot important.