A Stupid Joke

So yall know the joke that goes "In Heaven the police are British, the cooks are French, etc." and "In Hell, the police are German, the cooks are British etc."?

I'm trying to come up with a 40k version of that. Help me out here.

In heaven, everything is done by humanity, and all others have been exterminated.

Well, I guess we'd need to figure out which factions would be used, since it's gotten a bit expansive in the last few years.

I guess a guardsman version might work:

"On Terra, your gym buddy is a Catachan, your dealer is a Chem Dog, and your gardener is a Mordian.

In the Warp, your gym buddy is a Chem Dog, your dealer is a Mordian, and your gardener is a Catachan!"

I actually really like that version.

"I'll have you know, my bonsai has only killed three men in the last week! Only three! It's practically harmless. We're great gardeners."

I see why would you need a catachan gardener in the Warp.

every 40k faction is full of horrible people. there is no heaven only hell

"on Veeky Forums, the OP is a faggot"

fpbp

In 40k Heaven, police is Tau, lovers are eldar and it is all organized by Humans
Hell is where police is Human, lover is dark eldar and it's all organized by orks

its retarded, but its something

>not orks in all fields for hell

>In heaven, everything is done by humanity, and all others have been exterminated.
/thread

b-but muh eldar qts...

That's pretty good.

There's probably a pretty good Marine chapter/legion one you could do

In Hell, the police are Tzeenchian, the cooks are Nurglite, the administrators are Malal, and the lovers are Khornate.

In Heaven, the police are Slaaneshi in sexy cop outfits, the cooks are Slaaneshi in naked aprons, the administrators are Slaaneshi in leather corsets and thigh-high boots, and the lovers are Slaaneshi in nothing at all.

...

>heaven
>police are fucking communists

>Infantry
>Rangers
>SF
>Aviation
>Air Force

...

Reminder that even the Emperor did not want this.

Exterminated.

In heaven the Armour is Imperial, the Infantry is Orks, and the Air Force is Tau.

In hell the Armour is Tau, the Infantry are Imperial, and the Air Force is orks

I guess you could trade Tau for Eldar or Dark Eldar in that lineup

>imperial navy
not
>RAMMING SPEED

Found the slaaneshi cultist

>police will "reeducate you" instead of shooting you on sight or strapping you into a penitent engine

>implying that this would be heaven for anything worth going there

why would there be police in heaven anyway

>heaven
>British police
Is this the same British police that went around London looking for unlocked front doors, went inside, took pics of all the valuables and then posted them on Twitter like "look how easy it was to get into this home!"

In Hell, the Adeptus Mechanicus are in charge of technology, the Imperial Guard fight the wars, the Inquisition roots out heresy, and the Administratum manages everything.

Joke?

Maybe a Deathwatch version?
>"A good mission has an Ultramarine Squad-leader, a Space Wolf Assault, and a Dark Angels Devastator"
>"A bad mission has a Dark Angels leader, an Ultramarine Assault, and a Space Wolf Devastator"

No

To keep out the dead niggers

Kek

Brettygud/10