Let us post things that PLEASE Perturabo!

...

...

Can't go even ONE FUCKING THREAD can you

>Allegedly be the master of Siege warfare
>The fucking bureaucrat primarch takes the pinnacle unit of your army and makes a better version with barely any effort.

...

shouldn't have specified size. Leaving it open as 'huge' would've being better. Anything 3km long is just past what humans can mentally visualize, let alone interact with a normal human being.

and no, i dont care for your shitty doujin who claiims otherwise.

I don't even know how long that is, period.

>Anything 3km long is just past what humans can mentally visualize

Are you mentally challenged or something?

>Let us post things that PLEASE Perturabo!

...

3km? Easy to visualize. One centimeter more, though, that's some non-Euclidean shit beyond human comprehension. The Ruler Out of Space will fuck you up.

Not that user, but dyscalculia exists.

I'll save you the Google search. Basically, it means your brain is physically incapable of keeping certain types of memory stored. Without these reference points, some one with dyscalculia literally cannot visualize distance, quantity, and in some cases 3d mapping processes such as a person's face. I literally could not tell you the difference between a mile and a foot beyond "one is a lot longer than the other".

It really sucks when trying to play a game like D&D, because with no reference point for what a number represents, math is nearly impossible to do. If I want to add, say, 4 and 5, I need to mentally count out 1, 2, 3, etc. to find the answer because I'm physically incapable of understanding the numbers involved. I fucking hated math class.

That sounds like hell.

Huh. Well, my condolences to you.
That user, however, implied that every human is incapable of that, which makes him a bad kind of mentally challenged. So, my point stands.

My battle brother

...

...

>Ferrus x Fulgrim: The real story

Condolences. The 4th is not the legion for you, but it's not a nice legion to be in (there's a reason calls them meatgrinder legions, and Pert was so paranoid he built robots to guard his ass, rather than have an actual bodyguard unit)

Pert is also the unimaginative bastard who thought filling a bigger-than-a-land-raider transport with an Imperial Army gun so large that firing it in said transport would likely break the spine of any unaugmented human on board from the recoil shock was a wonderful idea, because sticking two useful things together is inventing

well, he just wanted to get the job done, go home and paint miniatures.

This is scarily accurate.

This is actually really weird. Wasn't one of his personality quirks that he loved art and invention and was, first and foremost, an inventor? How can an inventor be so... uncreative?

FUCK OFF DORN

Perturabo is quite a tragic character, if you think about it.
He's physically imposing, and with some training he could become a fierce, mighty warrior like Russ and Angron. But he's a calm, humble man, at least in the beginning.
So he turns to technology, which he appreciates, as it gives him something to catch onto. The laws of physics don't change, but with his intellect, he could change reality as we know it. If he put his mind into it, maybe he could have helped Vulkan and Ferrus with their workings, perfecting them even. But he sees the workings of Vulkan and Ferrus and passes his interest off as not that useful. So he moves on to pursue other goals.
He sees Guiliman and the Lion, the beloved sons who could build an empire all on their own and their tactics seem flawless (at first), so Perturabo tries it too, and lo and behold: he wins many a battle too! But his victories are thankless tasks, and he ends up bitter and hurt.
What's left for him? Arts and beauty for him, like Sanguinius and Fulgrim? Maybe, he could be a ladies man, fi he didn't wear his ugly armour and cared a bit more for himself. But he doesn't need them anyway, and while he likes art, he has a hard time making something he deems worthwhile.
He will never be as tough as Mortarion, Magnus' knowledge far surpasses anything he could hope to understand. The Khan maybe? Perturabo might find bikes interesting, but he's more comfortable at home. And Dorn, oh Dorn! Beloved and trusted by his father, a real man, hard as adamantium and tough as ferrocrete! Perturabo found some genuine fun in architecture, but Dorn always surpasses him, even insulting him!
He is overshadowed in all fields, even though he is above average in all of them. But he lacks the ambition to make something out of it, instead he becomes hateful and outright cruel. He just ends up micromanaging his toy soldiers without any joybecoming a lifeless husk of a man.

The sad truth is, Perturabo is (you)

>The sad truth is, Perturabo is (you)

Actually, now that I think about it, yes.
Damn it user why do you make me actually like him now.

That was a good thread btw.

Many laughs were had.

Now I'm sad

Worth a screencap I think.

...

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MAKING THESE

T-T

> Father, I think this essay was written by one of your scantily-clad custodians
> TECHPRIEST, COME ERASE MY MEMORY NOW NOW NOW. DAMMIT ROGAL, YOU COULD READ THIS IN YOUR HEAD.

>Perturabo is (you)
This is what I've said in the past. Perturabo and the Iron Warriors have such a large fan base because they a lot of remind fa/tg/uys of themselves. Perturabo is a nerd like Magnus but one who was always pushed off to the sideline and is disregarded by his family despite doing his best. I and no doubt many others can relate to him on so many levels.

He even fucking plays warhammer tabletop.

>Forever infuriated by not being able to see under the spoiler in the screencap, unless you read the original
Perfect

... and I just found the filename!

Holy shit that's brutal.

Ferrus calm down, he only tried to cut your head off.

pert did nothing wrong. Not his fault Dorn is an uncouth loudmouth who walks into his trap

...

Hello Dorn, I got you a present, please just come and collect it.

Have any of you read Cult of the Warmason yet where your fucking legion is currently intruding on my Soroitas jerk?

My sides have transcended this plane of existence.

Can you give a quick rundown on Cult of the Warmason and why it's relevant to this thread.

No, faggot.

>primarch with stupidest legion name

Iron hands
>all have iron hands

Iron warriors
>strong, plentiful and do their job

Space wolves
>really, really like wolves

Blood angels
>look like angels and have periods

Ultramarines
>ultra bullshit

Salamanders
>salamanders were thought to be highly connected to fire

Dark angels
>edgy

Night lords
>super edgy

Imperial fists
>like getting brutally fisted???

>>salamanders were thought to be highly connected to fire

Mate....

>High Lords bow to Perturabo
>In contact with Chaos Gods
>Possess psychic-like abilities
>Control Olympia with an iron but fair fist
>Own castles & forts galactically
>Direct descendant of the ancient royal Emperor
>Will bankroll the first forts in the warp (Perturabograd will be be the first fort)
>Own 99% of geneseed editing research facilities on Mars
>First designer marines will in all likelihood be Perturabo babies
>Is said to have 215+ IQ, such intelligence on Terra has only existed deep in Ecclesiarchy monasteries & golden throne
>Ancient Terran scriptures tell of an iron angel who will descend upon Terra and will bring an era of enlightenment and unprecedented siege warfare
>Owns Nanobot R&D labs around the galaxy
>You likely have Perturabots inside you right now
>Perturabo is in regular communication with the Chaos Gods, forwarding their word to Abbadon. Who do you think set up the meeting between the Legions (First meeting between the nine organisations in over 10000 years) and arranged the Legion's leaders first trip to Cadia in history then literally a few days later to the Perturabo bunker in the Warp?
>He learned fluent high gothic in under a week
>Systems entrust their gold reserves with Perturabo. There’s no gold on Terra, only in the iron cage
>Perturabo is around ten thousand years old, from the space-time reference point of the base human currently accepted by our society
>In reality, He is a timeless being existing in all points of time and space from the big bang to the end of the universe. We don’t know his ultimate plan yet, but rumour has it Peturabo hides it in the Iron Cage and invites Dorn to come get it. We hope He is a benevolent being.

...

heard once that they got the name from crawling out of the logs they lived in during forest fires. Folk of the time thought they came from the fire or something. Probably bollocks

Holy fuck we just making up all kinds of stuff now huh?

Explain the Decimation then.

>Angry neckbeard gets angry at his toy soldiers
There you go mate

It whipped the troops into shape

Then again, it was a waste of daddys expensive super soldiers.

The Iron Warriors did have very stable geneseed and if I recall correctly, were the second or third largest legion after the Ultramarines, who probably absorbed the two lost legions, and maybe the Word Bearers. They could afford the loses.

Came here to post this.

I find it both shocking and sad that in an age where you can learn almost anything in less than five fucking minutes, we still have ignorance like this.
At least do a fucking GOOGLE SEARCH before you start spewing shit, would you?

are you retarded

patrician taste.

Do you have Google?

I just read this shit....

I said post things to please Perturabo, not give him an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity or embarrassment.

There are barrage weapons in-built into fortifications.

>not give him an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity
Wow, I didn't know he was that stupid!

Rogal pls go

Yes, but I've never seen an angry neckbeard carefully laying out his army and then smashing one in ten models. Any that did I would suggest need a visit to a shrink on the spot.

He throws a massive fit about Dorn building a better wall. He's not always reasonable, you know.

all Primarchs but Lorgar were shit.

Lorgar was 100% correct and won the whole thing

Lorgar rules

Best primarch right here

everyone one else is:
>retarded
>flawed
>childish
>only know how to hit things
>don't know how to form a tax code let alone manage an empire

Only Sangy gets pass

Lorgar: Have you lost your temper, Roboute?
Guilliman: I am going to gut you.
Lorgar: You have lost your temper.

Guilliman a SHIT

This is now a LORGAR thread

Lorgar is objectively the worse primarch, no matter what way you slice hes straight up retarded

>muh godz
>muh wurshup
>muh demonz

and on top of all that he can barely fight, always needs help from a more powerful or competent primarch

but you can't deny that he was 100% right and that Emp was full of shit

Literally anything is better than chaos, ANYTHING

only a supreme retard would disagree

Why you mad?

have you lost your temper?

Is that why you suck off xenos?

You forgot
>I only wanted the truth,so i will spread lies
>Emp was full of shit
That's the only thing Lorgar was right about,but even then Emps' plans were better than anything Lorgar did.

Brain damage is a requisite to be a chaosfag or beign a chaosfag causes brain damage?

>worship a corpse
>call other people brain damaged
really makes me think

Hitting Fulgrim in the face with a hammer.
Though that would probably please anyone.

Expand Dorn.

>Brain damage is a requisite to be a chaosfag or beign a chaosfag causes brain damage?

Both. You need to be pretty retarded to turn to Chaos in the first place, and you only grow more so from there.

I look forwards to removing Chaos shitters together with you in 8th edition, future Battle Brothers.

then you haven't seen many angry neckbeards. Just visit your next Magic tourney

the whole religion of the Imperium rests upon texts of Lorgar, fag.

I'm bad at math but at least I don't make up fake illnesses to mask the fact.
>dyscalculia
Is a meme

>but at least I don't make up fake illnesses to mask the fact

It's dyslexia but for numbers. Not exactly some weird, esoteric, made-up condition.

Lorgar's truth is THE truth. It is terrible and people should probably try to change it instead of embracing it, but it WAS truth. Gods are real and the Emperor is.

I mean, I'd eat Rogal anyway....

Kek, that picture is gold.

...

>Lorgar of Colchis. You may consider the following. One: I entirely withdraw my previous offer of solemn ceasefire. It is cancelled, and will not be made again, to you or to any other of your motherless bastards. Two: you are no longer any brother of mine. I will find you, I will kill you, and I will hurl your toxic corpse into hell's mouth.

These are some of the finest words said or written in the 40k universe