How does your group handle sex scenes at the table?

How does your group handle sex scenes at the table?

I'm currently in a D&D group of very randy adventurers to include the archetypical bard who can't keep his dick out of anything with tits and a half succubus sorceress (uses Tiefling racial stats). That said, for us much as the PCs fuck NPCs and each other, it's always a "fade to black." Before things get much more serious than "and then they fuck."

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>2 lizardmen go into room overnight
>money/property deeds come out of elf gunslinger's ass (?)

We kick the retard out of the room and continue playing.

No Sex. Only Murderhoboing!

Offscreen. I actually ended up with a PC in a long-term romantic relationship because the GM could use that as a convenient excuse to explain my character showing up partway through the session/having to leave early/being missing because of my schedule being fucked compared to the rest of the group's.

Usually just fade to black. My players aren't a sexual bunch, but occasionally they'll mess around for fun, or if it fits (i.e., Our Necro-Bard found his long-lost wife, he got a fade-to-black).

Fade to black and make con rolls. Apart from the handjob from hell, but that is another story.

Fade to black. One of my players has a thing for male drow and we are in the Underdark currently

Anyone saying something other than "fade to black" is a retard.

Sometimes I wish it wasn't "fade to black"

One of the reasons we do roleplaying games is to experience things differently, in different circumstance, from the standpoint of a different character. Sex is an intense experience, and worth exploring from that perspective.

Obviously, fade to black is the right approach in most cases, because some people just get awkward about anything beyond that. Sometimes, even that.

>Love the "mature femme fatale as BBEG" cliché (preferably in a modern/futuristic setting where she can wear a nice suit and actively flirt with the main good guy)
>Can't do this without it getting weird
>It doesn't help that both older women and powerful women are my fetish and my dream is becoming a househusband to one
Dare you enter my magical realm? It is sealed deep underground and locked by multiple magic sigils.

well women in suits are my magical realm so I'd probably go for that

I dare to entomb your magical realm inside a sarcophagus of granite and push it off a ship in the middle of an uncartographed ocean.

Especially if they secretly wish to be dominated in bed but are too shy to admit it.

Fade to black.

It also helps in having sex with creatures you aren't supposed to have sex.

>How does your group handle sex scenes at the table?
With a lot of "handling" and often ON the table

More seriously, fade to black.
It only happened once in 4 years of GMing though

With very accurate descriptions and careful roleplaying of how they hold hands

It never happens to my PCs, but I describe their love interests being ploughed by other men in exquisite detail.

But no, really, no point in describing the sex. What's more important is to describe what the morning after is like. If you just gave a woman the best sex of her life, she'll be very favorably inclined to you, obviously - seeing a former ice queen clinging to a PC's arm, and doing nice things for him like spontaneously bringing along a home-cooked meal is more interesting than the actual sex itself.

It depends. Sometimes just fade to black, but sometimes the GM will ask for a bit more detail from the player in terms of their performance, maybe asking for some rolls. But never really going into detail.

There have been a few times when more detail has been gone into, but that's only been when it's been relevant to a fight or something. Like if one character has been seduced by an incubus/succubus and the other characters are trying to save them, and we need to handle things like when the seduced player starts taking damage or how they react to things, stuff like that.

I do a lot of 1on1 pathfinder GMing, occasionally that ends up being a group of people looking for a GM for whatever reason. If they bring it up, it happens in exquisite detail from start to finish (If it's in a group, then I'll keep it until after the 'session' or during player downtime, unless they're all taking part). If that's how they want to spend their money, so be it, I'll construct the most magical realm they could ever hope for and let them go balls deep. Or receive it balls deep, I really don't care.

Fade to black, but like said, the morning after is the important part. Personal favorite was the turbo autist cleric getting gently and awkwardly led to his chambers by a room slave, and waking up the next morning looking for her. Or the time the ratfolk and tabaxi got drunk after a really tough fight. The rat coughed up hair balls for a week. Just not his color fur.

I was a player, not a DM, but a large part of one memorable campaign centered around a group of female PCs being an undead warlord's harem.

Note that they were the ones who created him.

>roup of female PCs being an undead warlord's harem.

>Note that they were the ones who created him.

Well, was he fuckable in spite of the whole undead thing?

He was a minotaur. You tell me.

very then

My group all concluded they had no intention of flirting and sexing npcs. None of us want to be a group of 5 guys word-jerking each other off.

>ratfolk and tabaxi
That's...kinda cute, actually.

You're just begging for a chance to tell that story. Please do.

brief description/role play of the flirting leading to it, fade to black with a performance roll, set scene of the aftermath for them to continue the game

>How does your group handle sex scenes at the table?
Make sure to feather any edges where there is any overlap, so you don't get strange lines of thicker stain.
Apply a coat of linseed oil, teak oil or tung oil to keep them sleek and well lubricated.
Pour a little oil onto a clean, soft cloth, and rub it in, always working back and forth with the grain.
I hope that helps, user.

"Okay I guess you fuck at some point. Anyway, you hear rumors about about this bitchin'-ass dungeon..." and so on

Yeah... The rat is a Jekyll and Hyde barbarian. He was into it as Hyde, woke up not as much.

It's now a running joke of "cat and mouse" except the cat is the one that gets eaten when she catches the mouse.

simply not allowed, this is a game, not wankery

Wanton murder, destruction, and theft is okay though.

Yes, because that's what people do in games. It's why boxing is okay but a public sex show isn't, to coin an example.

>It's why boxing is okay but a public sex show isn't
>but a public sex show isn't

Y'all are lucky with all this fade to black stuff.

I use to play with a bunch of second generation flower children. There was typically no penetration (in the five years I played with them, I got to see people fuck start to finish 4 times), but handjobs and blowjobs were par for the course.

I don't think I've ever heard a GM say anything to possibly make me feel this disinclined to explore a dungeon before.

>everyone in Amsterdam just looks bored

grapple checks and fort saves.

I'm running two games, one of which is ERP and the other my players know I'm up for stuff in a private channel. Once I had several pairs hooking up at once in different scenes, got my wife to join in and take over one so everyone had stuff to do. Found out she writes much better than I do but I'm still the weird pervy one.

>giving it hot & heavy to a local barmaid
>suddenly three crit failures in a row
>before I know it I'm bent over the bar being pegged by what feels like an entire tableleg
I'm definitely not enjoying this I swear

Jesus Christ user, this is a blue board



We skip it and the player get put back in line if not consistent with RP.
Commonly avoided when women are around the table, especially since most of them are the girlfriends of our DMs.
We mostly have a "don't dip the toe and you won't ever wet the foot" kind of approach

On the evil campaign (actual) I describe it as what someone might hear at the other side of a closed door. Grunts, screams, wood creaking, etc.

My group is very sexually open. 2 women, 3 men, lots of dirty jokes because we have a similar sense of humor. Our sex scenes are handled with brief descriptions and rolls. Have great sex? Get morale bonuses for a while. Have terrible sex? The party chuckles at your expense. Give someone the greatest sex of their life? Morale bonuses and some minor notoriety. It's light hearted and fun.

This is ideal

Have you posted this story before? It sounds familiar.

>zombie bull
That'd smell fucking horrendous. Anyone who'd fuck it would have a strong stomach.

As a DM I typically fade to black, if the player is dead set on trying to roleplay the scene, I tell them to put it in written form, and I'll read it separately (most players don't want to hear each others fetishes, and I'm fairly apathetic towards other's fetishes but I will humor the player). Most people will not turn over a written scene so the issue usually resolves itself.

When you get past the novelty it's just like watching porn but on your phone, from the far side of your bedroom, with twenty people you don't know. With the lights off.

>How does your group handle sex scenes at the table?
Implication, understatement, and conspicuous gaps in time.

Isn't there Gentle Repose or some such?

Always fade to black, though raunchy dialogue beforehand comes up often and everyone in the group has an overactive imagination. It's a little weird.

Also always with the goddamn lesbians. Fuckin' A.

>not rolling to see how well you performed

in an erp i run, the dwarf is a serial rapist (of goblinoids) that had a curse dropped on him. every time he moves to rape something, he has to roll a d12 to determine penis size. anything over 10 does 1d2 hp damage to goblins.

CON rolls and the other party members performing color commentary.

We're poorfags who can only afford one room